tuexss Reviews

Tian di ying xiong (2003)

Couldn't watch it

[2/10 · 28 February 2015]

Wow, such a waste of time. I had to stop in the middle. The actors performed just bad. The characters introduction was a total joke. The costumes looked so fake. There's historical errors in the props. The sound effects weren't convincing. The plot didn't capture me at all. The CGI looked totally laughable. And the soundtrack felt like a copy of Titanic. The English overdub is a total catastrophe.

One of the most laughable scene is the sandstorm. They are in the desert, suddenly a huge CGI sandstorm appears out of nowhere. Everybody runs in a circle for 10 seconds. Next cut everything disappeared and a guy is yelling for the others. I've seen high school kids with better dramaturgic talent than what I've seen in this movie.

I did like the performance of the many animals in the movie. And the scenery was very watchable. But the rest was getting in the way of enjoying, so only 2 stars.

Gregory's Girl (1980)

What the hell did I just watch?

[1/10 · 30 November 2014]

Wow, words can't describe what I just experienced. In contrast to jonmeta, I have to say, that the dated fashions and soundtrack were the only recommendable parts of this movie, and what kept me from turning it off instantly.

The script is just weird, characters appearing and disappearing with no plot line at all. The characters are flat stereotypes with no development. The acting is horrible. I've seen kindergarden kids perform better on memorized lines than these guys. The camera is just boooring, unless it's awkward - then it's awkward. I didn't laugh once throughout this movie, nor felt any sympathy for any of the characters. My first completely emotionless movie experience. There's better acting and storytelling in porn movies going on.

The only thing that was interesting for me, were the background sceneries of a 70s town in the UK, and the different haircuts and the fashion. The accent of the people was of some interest as well. That's what the 1 star is for, otherwise I'd have to give 0 - meaning not even wasting time on writing this review.

The Descent (2005)

Lame horror for the masses

[2/10 · 2 January 2006]

If you have seen The Cube, and liked it, you will love this movie. If not, you'll be bored. No character development, mediocre acting skills, predictable story-line. The monsters look 70% like gollum, 30% like orcs. The "horror" lives by abrupt sound-effects and rapid flashes. All the fight-scenes have a very high cut-ratio, with more than 1 cut per second, so you can't see anything. Especially confusing is the ending, where no one knows what the director was up to, maybe he didn't know himself, so he just filled in something. I've also noticed minor continuity errors on first sight.

My 3 stars go out for the nice setting in the caves and the first 15 minutes of the movie.