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Reviews
Seinfeld: The Finale (1998)
Brilliant way to end the greatest show ever
I should mention first that I was very nervous to see this episode, not because I was afraid of my favorite show coming to an end, but because everyone I've spoken to says "The Finale" is awful. I couldn't disagree more. This episode brought back just about every minor (and major) character from all the seasons, and the fact that you just remember exactly who each character is proves how great this show really was. Every time a new character appears, you know immediately who they are and what they're there for, which is really magical. I understand the ending wasn't "good" for the main characters, but that doesn't really matter, at least for me. What I found brilliant about this episode, considering the fact that it was the final episode, was that it seemed to seal off the show really well. What I mean by that is that in most TV series, you're often sad when a show is finished, you find yourself desperate for more, and that leaves a bad feeling associated with the show. This finale, however, didn't leave that bad feeling at all, in a really weird way it removed that desperate feeling of wanting more, it actually left me satisfied with the show being over! Some people criticized this episode because the main characters didn't get much attention. Fair enough, but the returning of the minor characters brought back so many memories from past episodes, which I thought was a decent trade off. However, maybe a little more focus on the main characters would have been nice. All in all, this episode was great. Don't be afraid to watch it like me, I think this was a much-needed episode for Seinfeld fans, and a fantastic way to end a fantastic show.
The Imitation Game (2014)
Should be 'imitated' more often!
This film was absolutely incredible. The casting was perfect, Cumberbatch suited his role magically and so did most other actors. Rarely do I enjoy a movie so much to be compelled to write a review about it, but evidently this one was an exception.
I'm no film expert, so I won't try to critique the screenplay and cinematography and stuff because firstly I won't know how and secondly, everything just looked absolutely amazing so I have nothing bad to say. The writing was brilliant, the movie was intense and exciting the whole way through, and I was disappointed that it had to come to an end. I'm very interested in cryptography and computers, but I saw it with my family, who aren't interested in computers at all, but they all loved the movie too and were as excited as I was.
The one 'complaint' that I have, which isn't really a complaint and won't bother anyone besides picky math nerds, is that since this was a story that involved mathematical genius, the name "Euler" shouldn't have been mispronounced. Keira Knightley mispronounced "Euler" midway through. This doesn't affect how amazing the movie was, I almost forgot about it, and certainly most people won't even notice.
I rate this one a 9.5/10, and strongly recommend it to anyone.
Blackhat (2015)
Black hat, brown pants
This movie was laughably horrible.
In all honesty, I knew this movie would be bad like most other Hollywood hacking atrocities, but this one surpassed my expectations. Even if the hacking aspects of the movie weren't completely incompetent, the movie still would have been horrible, and that is why I almost defecated in my pants while watching this because I was laughing so hard. Since I know most viewers probably don't know too much about computers/hacking nor do they really care much about the technicalities, I decided to split this review into two parts: First, a critique of the movie besides the hacking failures, and secondly I will explore the hacking incompetency.
Right off the bat, the love story in this film is hilarious. It is less believable than Johnny and Lisa's love AFTER she cheated on him in "The Room", an infamous film that I compare this one to. The relationship is so forced and unnatural that I was literally confused at what was going on in the beginning of the movie. Perhaps the worst attempt at love that I've ever seen in a movie. The casting made no sense, no one in their right mind would choose Hemsworth to act as a genius hacker, it just doesn't fit. The use of the word "blackhat" in the film is just obnoxious, like as if the film was written by a 10 year old trying to show off his 1337 sk1ll$ or something. The funniest scene by far was when Dawai and his sister are angry at each other, then they simultaneously and instantaneously forgive to each other, smile and wave at each other, and then the car blows up. I laughed. This doesn't come close to describing most of the horror of this film, but I hope that gives you enough of a taste.
And now onto the hacking part. Most of the hacking consisted basic everyday linux terminal commands. I know this is true because I really don't know too much about the linux terminal and I was able to recognize what each command did. Once again, it seemed like a 10 year old showing off his skills by entering simple commands into a command line. I won't claim to be an expert hacker, because I am not, but I know enough to realize that the 'hacking' done in this movie was mostly BS. Hathaway showed absolutely no genius skills, or anything to make him seem even somewhat clever, yet everyone seems to worship him. There were two hacks done in the film that were competent, and that is generous. Firstly, Hathaway performs a phishing attack that required an NSA agent to download a file to change his password. That would work in real life, assuming the NSA agent had some sort of mental retardation or was extremely wasted. The last attack, which required Hathaway's girlfriend to trick the secretary into using a bugged USB in his computer actually made a bit of sense. That was the only somewhat clever moment in the movie, as it can reasonably work in real life. All in all, Hathaway's hacking skills left quite a bit to be desired and most of the hacking was hilariously dumb and unrealistic.
To conclude, I must warn everyone to not see this movie unless you have the right sense of humor that would enable you to laugh at it. I don't remember the last movie I saw that was this bad. It had moments that are up there with the stupidest moments in film history besides 'The Room', which is actually quite impressive. I gave it an extra star for that.
Now You See Me (2013)
Now I saw you, I'll never watch this atrocity again
I think the greatest trick that this show presented us is that Tommy Wiseau actually wrote and directed it and no one even knew. There was enough arrogance and pretentiousness in that movie to make it unbearable, but that's unfortunately not the worst part. The movie reveals a farrago of plot twists and explanations of how things happened, and they are meant to make people gasp and explain how unbelievable the writing is. It worked: as I remember, after watching some of said plot twists I gasped and said "I cannot believe how stupid this is". The explanations either made absolutely no sense or were just completely un-believable. Not to mention, although the explanations of these magicians' 'genius' plans were so elaborate and complex, the motivation and incentive behind the extremely dangerous and illegal tricks they performed was never revealed. In the first bank robbery trick alone, the magicians rob $3M before they even do the 'robbery', but instead of keeping the money for themselves, they decide to do a magic trick about it? Not to mention, as they make their epic getaway from the FBI after their last trick, they end up in the middle of Times Square, watching the breaking news among thousands of people. Great idea. And don't tell me I'm missing something. Between me and the writer of this atrocity, the only thing I'm 'missing' is a chromosome.
Christmas in Boston (2005)
Gina & Seth are Under the Moon, and the Writers & Directors are under the influence.
Just finished watching this, and let me tell you one thing: this movie has it all:
Christmas[*]
Love[*]
Marla Sokoloff[*]
Patrick J. Adams[*]
Obnoxious Scenes and Stupid Jokes[*]
Terrible Acting[*]
Horrendous Writing[*]
Dumb, meaningless motifs[*]
Two people making out while covered in chocolate sauce[*]
Deep-sounding philosophical dialogues that make no sense[*]
They really didn't leave anything out, the directors nailed this one.
SPOILER ALERT***
This movie spoiled my day
I still gave this four stars, because this movie should still satisfy a target audience: deaf people, and people that enjoy watching 'The Room'. Patrick J. Adams was pretty good though.