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Smike93
Reviews
The Bling Ring (2013)
Dreadful... Read this quickly and then go find something else to watch
A quick summary of this utter monstrosity:
0-10 minutes: OMG (insert celebrity) is away, let's go rob his/her house. Look at all this stuff! Let's go to the club. Trying on various items the next day
10-20 minutes: OMG (insert celebrity) is away, let's go rob his/her house. Look at all this stuff! Let's go to the club. Trying on various items the next day
20-30 minutes: OMG (insert celebrity) is away, let's go rob his/her house. Look at all this stuff! Let's go to the club. Trying on various items the next day
30-40 minutes: OMG (insert celebrity) is away, let's go rob his/her house. Look at all this stuff! Let's go to the club. Trying on various items the next day
40-45 minutes: "I'm starting to get worried about being caught." "Shut up, you dork."
45-55 minutes: "I'm leaving because I miss my Dad. Bye."
55-65 minutes: Search warrants and arrest.
65-70 minutes: Court case blah blah blah you've been charged blah blah blah
70-the end: Err... a lot of crying... and cameras and stuff... there isn't really any footage of them being in jail. The movie ends with a cheesy, confusing, and pointless anecdote from Emma Watson.
So there you have it: this movie summed up in a few quick points. Guys, if you're here for Emma Watson, just save yourself the time and just go for an image search like everyone else. Girls, you might enjoy the various handbags and shoes that get some screen time, but I would strongly advise you to just watch something else... especially if you want to see a good movie as well as various handbags and shoes.
Overall: 9/100
Atlantic Rim (2013)
Hilariously Bad
This movie is utterly dreadful, although that is the precise point of these 'mockbusters'. My flatmate and I watch a s**t movie every other Sunday - we call it "S**t Movie Sunday." This one didn't disappoint. The highlights of this movie (i.e. the most 's**t' parts) are as follows:
The moment when a 6-second clip of a jet flying across a sunset was re-used 5 times in a 10 minute action sequence.
The 'Love Triangle' which lasts about 21 seconds.
A homeless guy getting jumped in an alleyway by the main characters for no apparent reason.
This movie is absolutely dreadful... please watch it at your own risk.