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quentin124
From The A.V. Club:
"The howling backwoods that is IMDB.com is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda), but it�s amazing how much stock people still place in its ranking system."
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1408 (2007)
Too many mindf*%k$
Okay, so the beginning was funny. The ludicrous enthusiasm of the owners of that old inn, Cusack's impeccable dry sarcasm, the delicious moment where the camera pans back to the book signing "audience." Then things start to go awry. The camera-work in the lobby scene is nauseating. Samuel L. Jackson is ridiculously (almost criminally) underused, getting a grand total of three scenes; one long duet with Cusack, once as a hallucination, and once as the man who says, "It is done." They forgot to have him say "motherf*%ker," too. The real problem, though, is when Håfström starts going all quasi-Shyamalan on us. M. Night got it right the first time around: one big mindf*%k at the end, with a little bit of denouement so you can wrap your head around it. That's not for Håfström, though: he splits his WTF moments up and spreads them around the movie. The segue back to the beach made the whole goddamned theater groan. What pains me about this is that I wanted to like this movie, and I can't really hate it, not with Cusack's performance, the solid concept and the well-used effects. The whole thing made me think of the Twilight Zone spoof "The Scary Door" in the Futurama episode "I Dated a Robot." Håfström admitted to focus-grouping the ending. I'd like some of whatever those folks were drinking when they decided it should go to black after we hear that recording again.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Dickesode (2006)
In this episode
there's just one hideously uncomfortable joke with a few mildly racist sidetrips. They work their lonely little pun over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Sorry about that - bloody stupid 10-line minimum, when there's really nothing to say about this one-trick episode, apart from DON'T WATCH IT. I think the writers ran out of marijuana and fell back on alcohol around 4:17 the morning of the day the script was due. On a completely unrelated note, Dana Snyder could stand to learn how to do more than 1 voice - his character in Venture Brothers sounded exactly like Master Shake.
The Girl on a Motorcycle (1968)
This'd be great...
for a Rocky Horror-style spiel or an MST3K setup. Just hum the Batman theme every time it goes to a cheesy headon driving shot, go heavy on the blind guy jokes when Raymond's driving in shades, slather on the sadomasochism references, keep your kraut/frog jokes handy, and dump as many putdowns of the style on it as you can, focusing on the 2001-ripoff psychedelic bits, the pitch black midnight chalet sex scene, and whatever really annoys you in particular about this flick. Give a loud cheer at the ending. Be thankful that it's only 90 minutes. Hopefully, you'll be able to catch this on a movie channel or some midnight screening, and won't have to pay more than 5 bucks up front for the chance to go from anticipation to "WTF is this dreck?" to gleeful outright mockery. And since you've read this, you can skip the first two and go straight to the right way to approach it.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Hypno-Germ (2004)
revolao
No need to click the "spoiler" box - this episode is not in any way plot-oriented. This episode must be approached in the right frame of mind to be enjoyed; otherwise, instead of finding it to be the most insanely hilarious 11 minutes of comedic riffs you've ever seen in a late-night cartoon, you'll see it as just a steaming pile of dumb stoner humor verging on total incoherence. My general insanity (I actually giggle whenever I think about MC Peepants) compensated for my lack of access to the crucial herb when I watched this episode recently, leading me to spend the entire episode laughing my @$$ off. But just one question comes to mind- why would the Aqua Teens go THERE on vacation? They don't strike me as the country types.
Wonder Showzen: Horse Apples (2006)
Ecchh...
First, let me say that I loved the first season and probably have seen every episode of it in reruns. Next, a bit of disclosure: I absolutely hate Clarence and wish they would chuck him into the fire in favor of more cartoons, commentaries on 40-year-old educational films, news parodies and skits with the regular puppet quartet, although I guess that obnoxious *&#% is good for filling up the minutes. Now the gist of this episode: I thought it was going to be somewhat in the style of previous episodes, but was surprised to find that they had managed to spin the only segment I think I loathe more than Clarence into an entire episode of one-note hillbilly/trailer trash jokes. It's the same @)$!ing rubbish for over 15 straight minutes. I missed a bunch of the new season in the weeks before this episode, but this one made me tune out entirely, not to mention making me feel like I needed to bathe my brain.