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Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Tries too hard to be Deadpool...makes movie a big joke
Thor Ragnarok overall was a good movie, plenty of action, good story, but went way overboard with a comedy. I like a good laugh as much as the next person but I felt that this movie just went over the top, to be something that it's not, with the tongue and cheek routines. After awhile it became more of an annoyance since, to me, it seemed like the writers were just trying to mimic the success of Deadpool's unique character, which, after awhile negatively impacted the overall feel of the movie.
Other than that Bruce banner was way out of character, nervous, absent minded, ditsy even... He turns into a giant green monster, he warded off other monsters, saved earth from invading aliens, but then is so shaken because he cant believe he is on another planet... then jumps out of a plane to turn back into the Hulk and is squashed on the pavement breaking every bone in his body in true Deadpool fashion before accomplishing his main goal... I mean come on.... turned into the Hulk at will in the Avengers, had to keep his squirrely self from having an anxiety attack so that he didn't change back through half of this movie, but then had to be squished on the road after falling several stories, with a humorous close up...It just wasn't right for the film.
Finally the end battle should have probably stuck with a Thor style theme like "Sons of Odin" instead of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song." It was one thing in the beginning but for the final battle it jumped from fanfare style orchestra music to this and it just didn't work...You are watching intensely at the battle about to start, everything is serious, things are about to break, worlds are about to end and then suddenly... oh we are back to a joke.
The Funny Life of Pets (2016)
Writer/producer/director should be kicked in the teeth and rolled off a cliff!!
Firstly there is nothing "funny" or "secret" about this movie, it is named the way it is because of the movie "the secret life of pets" which I thought it was when I got it for my 6 year old daughter. In fact when you first start the movie the title is actually "the funny life of cats and dogs" so the d-bag changed the name to piggy back off of someone else's work... Again because now looking at his other movies, he has done it before. So after the poorly animated announcers speak about how funny pets are there is a 1.5 minute video with a repeat of the same 3 clips of pets just sitting there, watching something, with Barney type music playing. Then the video goes back to the badly animated announcer, then another 1.5 minutes worth of clips with 90's night club heavy base type music playing, again with the animals doing virtually nothing. There was no rhyme or reason to the music, it just played randomly, no theme, no anything. Not to mention the clips almost looked like stuff that was downloaded off of youtube. It got so bad that my 6 year old daughter asked me to turn it off after about 10 minutes.... This crap should be illegal, it's bad enough to make a movie that even a doped up hippie wouldn't even snicker at but to then make it resemble a good highly advertised movie just to pick up a few buck from unsuspecting people is fraud. This happened to me with Krampus and to my wife with one of the pirates of the Caribbean movies.... It is so bad not only do I feel I have lost 10 minutes of my life but I'm actually going to to spend time finding a way to get my. $1.62 back from Redbox because It feels like I just taken for a million dollars.
The Visit (2015)
What septic tank did we fish this out of?
I gave it a 2 because there were times when the movie did actually creep/gross me out. Other than that where do I begin... Firstly I am not sure if I can release any spoilers because you know what happened, and how it is going to end, within the first ten minutes of the movie. The children are blindly caught in a situation, caused by their own loving mother, where they go on a visit with people that the mother hates enough to not even speak to for 10 or 15 years, maybe longer. The mother is totally OK with sending her underage children off, cross country, without ever speaking to the care givers, because she cant stand them, never checks up on her children's safety, never makes sure they even arrive in the right place, and then defends the people, that she cant stand, when the children speak up about it. To top it off she then wonders how this could have ever happened to her like it is some big surprise and we are supposed to feel bad for her. Meanwhile the kids are obnoxious, and relentlessly annoying the entire movie, they try to come across as highly intelligent but then do things that make you want to run head first into a brick wall, multiple times, so that maybe you can slap them in the head during one of your comatose dreams. I was actually rooting for the bad guys during this film, they deserve a pat on the back, no sane person would ever last as long as they did. There were times where I was slightly creeped out, like I said, but it was few and far between. What they couldn't accomplish with the creep out they tried to make up for with toilet humor which is always a winning combination. Then they tried to save the big surprise ending to the last minute, even though you saw it coming a mile away. It was actually insulting, but that is the long and the short of it. I could say more but it wouldn't be anything good, just don't waste your money like I did.
Forsaken (2015)
Good old fashioned western
This was a good movie, it had a good story, the movie as a whole wasn't stretched out too long, it had some good acting, and the fact that real life father and son played father and son in the movie was just a great idea. It does feel like it drags on at times, and it kind of makes you sit on the edge of your seat waiting for the good guys to start standing up for themselves but it is something that is completely necessary for the story. The bad guy does drop the F bomb a few times, which I suppose isn't breathtaking but it feels out of place because that it is the only swear word spoken in the entire movie by a single person, multiple times, so it actually feels out of place. So here you have a guy dropping the F bomb and nobody reacts to it, not sure if they get it, don't get it and its one of those things where there is either too much swearing or not enough because its only one word by one person. I like the movie though and if I were to compare it to anything I think Clint Eastwoods Unforgiven would be a good comparison. If you liked that movie then you will definitely like Forsaken.
Deadpool (2016)
Awesome!
The movie was almost everything I expected in a Deadpool script. I only gave it an 8 because it tended to slow down a bit during the many origin story flashbacks, something that is unfortunate but necessary. Don't get me wrong, I understand why we need the origin story but Deadpool is just one of those rare occurrences where having to go back to the origins is really lame. Back when Deadpool was first released we needed an origin, that origin was used to gradually intrigue the reader and get them familiar with a hero who was set far outside the realm of what we expected a hero/villain to be. The more time that passed the more outrageous Deadpool became and he eventually grew into the figure that we know and love today. Now it feels like we were all put on hold so the story can go backwards and allow everyone else, who thinks comic books are stupid, to catch up. Again necessary for box office profits but it makes the rest of us bored during those periods of time. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from seeing it though, it is a really fun movie, the rest of it made me laugh uncontrollably, plenty of action, jokes, and gore to satisfy even the most hardened Deadpool fan. Plus now that the origin is out of the way Deadpool 2 can focus on taking all of the good stuff from this movie, and jamming more of it in the second one.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Disappointing
I had such high hopes for this movie but there are just too many things wrong with it to ignore, more than too much CGI and more than an annoying underwater clown who refuses to shut up the entire movie. First, who's the hero? Obviously they are all the heroes of the resistance but who is the main one? In 1, 2, and 3 the story revolved around Ben Kenobi, 4, 5, and 6 the movies revolved around Luke Skywalker. 7 we have two possible candidates, are they both it? One is shown wielding a light saber with no force powers and the other has force powers but no light saber. There is no clear direction, all we know is that two untrained people kicked the crap out of a trained Sith who is strong enough to stop blaster bolts in midair but not strong enough to wipe the floor with a guy who has no apparent abilities. The movie was so predictable on top of that, Han Solo would never just hand a detonator to someone else, he was a large, and in charge, kind of personality so you knew that this was the end for him. Also in what world do you bleed when you get burned with a laser bolt? There is a lot of blood in this movie for being struck with a cauterizing beam of energy. The planets that were destroyed with the new republic, was that Coruscant? What happened with the senate that prompted this new group of villains to arise? Who was the old guy that died in the beginning, why was he important enough to have the coveted map to Luke? Why isn't Leia a part of it of the new republic? None of it is explained, not even a little bit. Not to mention the movie should have ended about 10 minutes sooner than it did as well, it just dragged on, and on, for nothing more than a marketing trick.
Terminator Genisys (2015)
Great movie...
Probably the best terminator to be released since terminator 2 judgment day. It really captured the essence of the story and the struggle for the survival of the human race. The actors looked as close to the original cast as you could probably get. The acting was spot on, they even worked some quotes, and a few forgotten characters from movies past, into the film, and they did it in a way where it wasn't cheesy or out of place. I thought it was worth the watch, Arnold is definitely not to old for this stuff yet, and I really hope to see another one in the near future since, like terminator 2, you can literally go in any direction from this point. I just hope that they don't go back downhill like they did with terminator 3 and the garbage that spun off of that mess.
Supergirl (2015)
You're kidding right?
I was looking forward to this show, but OMG what a disappointment. Where do I begin, Jimmy Olsen is a big, ripped, confident, jock who acts like superman raised him from birth. The writers obviously didn't do their research, they refer to the Christopher Reeves superman story line a lot and one time, in particular, Jimmy, who wants to be called "James" mentions Superman's first heroic feat as saving an airplane...although it was Lois Lane and a helicopter if I recall. Furthermore every other conversation has some sort of blatant feminist agenda attached to it, and they use these off center, awkward, conversations to tell you how strong women are instead of showing you to prove their point. I mean it may have been overlooked if it was just once but they throw it in your face every few minutes, so much so that feminists themselves had to be rolling their eyes. Not to mention actions speak louder than words, I want to see how awesome Supergirl is, if I wanted her to tell me over, and over again, I would go watch some political debate somewhere.
The acting was awful, it would be poor for a 1970's sitcom, weird awkward conversations that have no meaning, or feeling, totally unbelievable, corny, and just simply annoying. The writers did straiten out a few story issues, that everyone seemed to have with the universe, but at the same time they punched so many more holes in it, things that just didn't make sense if you've ever seen any other DC superhero in your lifetime. The show was then rushed, within the short time frame they dropped all of the story elements on you, introduced every character, and never really explained when, why, or how. Things just are, now accept it, and I am sure most people will just eventually accept it as the shows continue. I realistically couldn't watch half way through it without throwing up in my mouth. The only reason why it stayed on my TV was because my 4 year old really liked the idea of a Supergirl flying around the sky. If she had any idea what was going on with the conversations or story, she would probably be throwing up too. Even if I had no prior knowledge of this story it was so bad that I do not have words to express it, believe me what I said above was nice compared to what I want to say.
Supergirl: Pilot (2015)
What a shame!
I was looking forward to this show, but OMG what a disappointment. Where do I begin, Jimmy Olsen is a big, ripped, jock which doesn't fit. Every line has some sort of blatant feminist agenda attached to it. The acting would be poor for a 1970's sitcom, totally unbelievable, corny, and just simply annoying. The writers did straiten out a few story issues that everyone seemed to have but at the same time punched a lot more holes in it. I realistically couldn't watch half way through it without throwing up in my mouth. Even if I had no prior knowledge of this story it was so bad that I do not even have words to express it. Awful....
Seventh Son (2014)
I liked it... I wouldn't mind a sequel
It amazes me that these types of movies get such bad reviews. The seventh son, Avatar, Eregon ... They are good movies, all of which I wish had a sequel. They may not be exactly like the books but the people who complain about that stuff are the first to tell you comic book movies aren't the same because they take place in an alternate universe so it's OK. Eye candy? (Graphics) let's face it, if that's the only reason why you are going to see a movie then you should really just stay home. I've seen people say that things aren't explained like why the seventh son had to go with the spook, why this and why that.... The seventh son takes place in medieval times, the boy was bought and paid for, life wasn't, and still isn't free in a lot of places and that's just the way it was back then like it or not. It just takes a little historical knowledge to understand why things transpired the way they did. Perhaps that's why a lot of people didn't like it, they just aren't educated enough in history to understand. Perhaps they are judgmental because they read the book first, I really don't know but it was definitely a good movie.
Reaper (2014)
Complete and Total Garbage...Hands Down
I am not really sure what everyone else was watching on here but I could have written better material if I ties a pencil, and piece of paper, to my nether regions and ran on the treadmill for an hour. First and foremost I only rented this movie because of the description, which has nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with the movie what so ever. It's even worse in Redbox than it is here, the description says a man was wrongly accused and executed for a crime which he did not commit and it unleashed a spirit that descends upon an unsuspecting town full of criminals who have to band together ....or something like that. Not even close to what the movie is about. There is no wrongly accused anything, no spirit, we can only assume the movie starts off weeks after the movies description so that's already over and done with and no recap on what has already transpired to get to this point. There is no story, except for the here and now, basically a bunch of people arguing who are just as clueless of whats going on as the audience, no information leading up to what has happened, no closure, just a bunch of over dramatic, over exaggerated actors, who keep you guessing on what is happening. You can kind of piece together what was in the movie, towards the end, but it takes you a bit since there really is no closure of any sort. We did, however, get a lot of smug grins from the characters despite what had just happened, ten minutes beforehand, like they are top dog in the locker room at a high school basketball game, or something, and when they really did nothing but argue scream and cry through the entire ordeal. Now, I understand this was a low budget film, and I am a big fan of a lot of low budget movies, but this was so unrealistic it was kind of watching the old revenge of the killer tomatoes with the original nightmare on elm street blood and gore.....At least attack of the killer tomatoes was entertaining ... Lame!