celticwarrior_amazonwoma Reviews

A Slice of Romance (2021 TV Movie)

cookie cutter gone south

[1/10 · 16 May 2024]

Regular cookie cutter story line. Which isnt unbearable on its own. Seen many formula rom coms with exactly same premise. The difference was the characters actually having chemistry. If there was such thing as negative chemistry, this was if, and the lead woman's voice was so unbelievably cringeworthy, I couldn't watch without hitting mute when she was speaking. Scratching a chalkboard with nails is more enjoyable than listening to her speak. And mr pastry dude idk ive seen him in a police drama show, his performance in this was duller than dishwater.

Ughh. It was on again and I decided to give it another go, thinking maybe I was in a pissy mood last time or whatever. Same cringe.

Upgraded (2024)

great chemistry all around and great plot

[8/10 · 11 February 2024]

No the plot is not new, but its a twist on Cinderella meets Devil wears Prada. The villainous characters however, are not so entirely hateful and unbearable to watch. Marisa Tomei does a fab job as the art world version of Prada's Meryl Streep and she's somewhat less sharp around the edges. The 2 'evil step sisters' (not actually step sisters but the dynamic is the same) are not as shrill and ick as the Cinderella counterparts either.

Then the whole plot about pretending to be in charge and trying to keep up the charade makes you almost want to look away like please no dont get caught!

When I was looking for cheap entertainment and read the description I had low ish expectations for a run of the mill rom com. But it proves to be more well written. I am not an art world expert however so I cant poke holes in authenticity of the portrayal, if there are in fact any holes. So you know my 8 out of 10 is face value. I find often people use the same standards for all movies and so cheap easy rom coms get a worse rap than deserved maybe because you dont judge them the same as the documentary or Oscar winner etc. But often people judge with the same lens. One of better rom coms Ive seen in a while.

The Christmas Challenge (2022)

so many fails but heres main one

[1/10 · 19 December 2023]

Podcasters dont roll in the dough. A Podcaster will never pull in enough revenue on their own to afford to have their own office space. It's not a huge money-making endeavour, even with tons of listeners, sponsors, merch, etc. So who on gods green earth can afford an enormous multi room office space that is theirs alone? There are studios that rent out to podcasters per hour. The cost of leasing a building and or entire office space is only doable if said podcaster inherited the building from her rich grandmother like is the premise in most Hallmark movies. Or if they call it a radio station, like it really is.

I think the writers of this movie were trying to be hip and relevant just making the central theme a podcast cause its trending. This is bona-fide talk show radio station. Lots of other fails but this is the big one I had to point out. Because its glaring ly ignorant.

The Birthday Wish (2017 TV Movie)

chemistry good for a change

[5/10 · 1 January 2022]

Love the male and female lead, together and separately, there are so many regular Hallmark leads I get tired of seeing, or they rub me the wrong way, or the chemistry is bad etc. And ironically, I don't like the 'boyfriend' as an actor and well he always plays the a hole types, but he does them so well lol. My only criticism is that even for Hallmark, she seriously can't be that obtuse that douche boyfriend does one narcissistic thing after another and yet she still professes profusely to be committed to him. Hallmark doesn't tend to delve into abusive relationship dynamics. Which is the relationship she's in. So I suggest they either jump in both feet and address the subject, or not make her that stubbornly in love with such a narcissistic personality. And/or tone down his tendencies. Without actually broaching the subject or making it part of the story, you can't make it believable. Hallmark is supposed to be fairy-talish and light. OK? So dear writers, again, tone down boyfriend's narcissism, recommendation number one, recommendation two, she dumps him sooner but then you don't have a 90 minute story.

Christmas in Louisiana (2019 TV Movie)

multiple generations provided potential for something new

[5/10 · 26 December 2021]

The description certainly was generic cliche- big city girl goes home to christmas festival blablabla. Nothing spectacular there. Someone had the bright idea in the writing dept to shine the light on the relationships of 3 generations of the Winters family. In fact at the outset I was more interested in Moira Kelly and the photographer. Could have been flushed out a bit more. I will say the 2 older couples had a natural chemistry probably just coming from years of acting and knowing how to be charming/flirtatious etc without looking like they're trying too hard. I think I've seen Percy Daggs in other stuff and felt the same way, he ddidn't seem natural with his female lead. Like fish out of water. But even with Lifetime or Hallmark you do see younger leads actually melding together naturally. This time wasn't it. But kudos for the 3 generations of stories idea. Just needed to build them better. Certainly doable in 90 minutes, especially since the whole thing was relationship based. There was no plot time spent on big city person developer buying up town real estate, or whatever the big city corporate leads usually have up their sleeves by going home for Christmas, or to save a parade or festival etc. Good start lifetime. Keep on this track.

Jingle Bell Princess (2021 TV Movie)

Nothing we haven't seen before

[21 December 2021]

Royalty from mysterious foreign land ends up in small town America. Falls in love with widower and his daughter. Bla bla bla. Sure it's easy on the eyes as far as Hallmark goes but I can never get past the horrible attempt at British accents. The least they could do is access the giant pool of British actors to fill the role. My expectations aren't high, really. It's easy to overlook other things, but you're listening to this voice for 90 minutes. Please make it a voice I can actually listen to.

9-1-1: Defend in Place (2021) Season 5, Episode 8

Love 911, but couple minor oddities.

[9/10 · 16 November 2021]

I've never noticed anything to really nitpick on this show. This is prob my fave show next to Chicago franchise.

They needed a cause for the hospital fire, but when the nurse person went into the storage closet and slipped on the puddle on the floor and fell down, and then other dude helped her up, there zero chance in a hospital that they both would have walked out A)without cleaning up whatever the spill was and B) probably not reporting the incident. This is hospital protocol. And the second weird thing was when she kept forcing the door to close. Anyone in their right mind would have looked for an obstruction either on the bottom or the top of the door. And finally, they could have done a better job picking a 'prop' baby for the boy to be stuck in the hall with. That baby the boy had in his arms was not remotely newborn. Like the baby was literally born not more than an hour before. That kid was at least a month old I'm guessing. Other than that amazing show as always.

Cooking Up Love (2021 TV Movie)

nice new face, but story details awful

[2/10 · 15 November 2021]

Nice to see a different lead female. She's not best actor on the planet obviously but she's a fresh face to the Hallmark list. Really really don't wanna see some of those permanent fixtures anymore like Candace Cameron Bure etc etc ad nauseum. REFRESH.

I'm pretty brutal with scrutinizing the authenticity or accuracy of food themed Hallmark movie. Probably way more than I should be. But they're not expensive details at all, and they're not difficult or time consuming. It's just nails on a chalkboard takes away from the entire rest of the movie.

No one pays for anything, and this isn't just in this movie, but in every other Hallmark movie where there's a farmer's market, the character goes strolling through like it's a Sunday, not like she's shopping for her business. And most importantly she doesn't pay for anything, and equally irritating is she strolls off with her 2 french baguettes and a TINY basket of fruit or whatever she bought. HELLO! Food truck challenge tomorrow. Who writes these scenes? Go watch the Next Great food truck race or something and see how many supplies they buy at the store for their next day of competition. If it were just supplementing what they already had that would be ok, but they made it clear the day before the final challenge that all there was left on the truck was a couple portions of frozen chicken and half a head of iceberg. Come on people, step up your game or get off the pot. And let some writers on board who actually give a sht. This is so appallingly stupid.

Station 19 (2018–2024)

This might as well be a Hallmark movie

[1/10 · 12 November 2021]

Seriously. Watch any soap opera or Hallmark movie. They just needed a fresh setting to stage a bunch of relationship drama. And just like a Hallmark movie , they have a bunch of equipment and props laying around that get polished maybe once an episode. The rest of the episodes are all characters in their love triangles or disputes. No surprise this is attached to Grey's Anatomy. Same garbage.

Listen if that's what you're looking for, then you should watch this. If you're looking for really super well written plots and story lines, and action, and dialogue and social and personal struggles all squeezed in between 60 minutes of actual firefighting, go over to Chicago Fire. And do Med and PD while you're at it. There's a reason why Dick Wolf has been so successful for so many years. Everything he touches is gold. I have the new episode on in the background right now waiting for my Law and order to come on, and there has been one scene of approximately 3 minutes total at the site of an actual fire. The only other time they've been in the truck and it's just a backdrop for more lover spat crap. I never got into Grey's Anatomy for the same reason, but I thought way back I'd give this a chance because Seattle is close to hometown and I love the action stuff. Well 1) nothing about Seattle obviously, and zero action. Buh bye.

As Gouda as it Gets (2020 TV Movie)

makes me not want to eat cheese again

[1/10 · 6 November 2021]

Didn't even get past the first scene with her stirring her open exposed pot of milk with a spoon with no hairnet or gloves on and manhandling every bit of cheese from the back to rubbing the Gouda with her bare hands as she put it into the display case and serving it to the customers. Listen I know it's cheesy Hallmark quality (yes I said cheesy lol), but have the writers never been to the deli counter at the grocery store before? That's about all the expertise you need to include these tiny details. You don't need to work at a dairy farm for a year to learn the craft. I'm an avid cheese hound, lover, eater, devourer, I have NeVer ever in my entire life been to a deli or cheese counter where the person behind the counter manhandled my cheese with their bare hands. Nor have I ever been to a dairy farm or cheese farm where they did not wear gloves or hairnets during production. If the first 20 minutes of a movie can make me contemplate never eating cheese again, then it must be bad.

Seasoned with Love (2021 TV Movie)

Broke the mold on Hallmark cliches

[8/10 · 30 October 2021]

I don't think I've ever rated a Hallmark movie higher than maybe a 3 or 4 lol.

Not that this was a new plot that's never been done before. Just that the writer took the time to fill in the lines with some colour and give it some dimension.

For starters, the citified (female) chef was not painted like all other (female) chefs in Hollywood big screen or generic rom coms, as uptight egocentric bossy and treats her staff like sub par, or belittles the small town folk. This woman was refreshingly down to earth and also a respectful human being. Again, breaking the mold of the Hallmark big city person coming to the small town and treating them like hicks. Or whining they don't have truffle oil or Gucci stores or Wedgewood China. Or whatever. I'm not on some feminist rant, but given the stereotypical happily ever nature of the genre, it's pretty nice to see she's not dropping her life long dream to live happily ever after with the town hick and be barefoot and pregnant baking pies for the fair a year later. And as a female chef in a male dominated and bro culture industry, I'm happy to see this picture painted to not glorify the nasty egocentric personality that must exist or you wont be successful.

Following that, another way the writers broke the mold, making the mechanic shop owner a woman, a regular woman with a regular son, not a stereotypical small town mechanic dude.

Finally, breaking the mold on Hallmark plots, not having the uptight city woman leaving a picture perfect money chasing boyfriend or fiance behind, and also not making the romantic history of the male lead a huge deal, like being mopey and miserably single since his wife died. He brought it up briefly over pizza, and the daughter made a gentle mention to him she didn't mind if he dated, but didn't spend the whole movie trying to push the 2 together.

On that note, the male and female lead had great natural chemistry but that could attribute to them being a long-time off screen couple. It happens, but it's rare to see two leads in a Hallmark movie have an organic chemistry and instead come off as oil and water on set forcing some flirtatious dynamic.

Nice conflict and twist 15 minutes before the end because there has to be that in all Hallmark movies, right? Some kind of misunderstanding etc. Leave it to the MIT-bound daughter setting her dad straight. But it all wrapped up quickly and was well wrapped up.

This is the first Hallmark movie I've watched that I didn't have to pick apart. That seems impossible. So I hope I see more out of this writer and director, and also more of the 2 leads. She has been in a handful of other Hallmark movies as tertiary characters but has a background in theatre, and he has some great shows under his belt, but they both deserve to be leads. The water in the pool that they select rom com leads from needs to be changed. It's getting murky. Time for some new faces.

One of a Kind Love (2021 TV Movie)

for what its worth

[6/10 · 16 October 2021]

Not going to rate a 10 obviously. Doubt Hallmark would ever warrant a 10. But for the numerous movies that have the same plot (2 leads had a childhood thing and then one goes off to the big city and joins corporate world and comes back and despite some kind of conflict -usually big city greed vs small business goals- they reconnect their connection. So this is no different except for a change they don't try too hard with 2 dimensional characters (super hick small town character vs super a hole greedy corporate type). Or super uptight snob country club parents and relatives. They're actually decent rich folk that she works for.

And the tension or conflict isn't in your face over the top cringe worthy.

And the 2 leads actually have a chemistry.

Decent, albeit predictable, conflict right at the very end, which was a breath of fresh air not drawing it out for half the movie.

So yeah, of all the Hallmark movies with that same plot line, I gotta say pretty easy to watch- ie not cringeworthy.

Spencer's BIG 30 (2018–2020)

recipes themselves not bad but budget and time frame completely unrealistic

[1/10 · 10 October 2021]

My big down vote for this is promoting a dinner for 30 bucks. Unless he's marketing towards D I N K households or other celebs who don't care about budgeting. Almost a grand per dinner per month? That doesn't even factor in lunch or breakfast dude. Also 30 minutes is completely off. No matter what the intro says about no tricks etc. You don't make a full Thai or other dinner in 30 minutes or less from start to finish. I cook Thai at home at least once a week. All these ethnic episodes are ingredient heavy and he's def not doing this in 30 minutes without organizing his ingredients first. I cook for a living and I'm all about efficiency and budgeting at home. Go ahead and promote cooking more exotic things like Thai and Lebanese at home. I'm all for that. I think people need to get more creative in the kitchen but don't be promoting this to the average household as achievable. (unless those 4 people you're cooking for are all in the kitchen helping). Also lasagna for 30 bucks? I guarantee you I can do lasagna for way less than 30 bucks.

Love, Bubbles & Crystal Cove (2021 TV Movie)

another bad Hallmark cliche

[1/10 · 10 October 2021]

Don't have high expectations obviously. It's Hallmark. Another small town store owner whose business is going under and her mom slash partner both are completely taken by surprise that they're losing money. Some big corporate dude from the city comes to take over and they have a history. Bla bla bla. Also, overdoing it with the 3 piece suit, dude. We already know he's from the big city. Doesn't need to walk around hicksville in a 3 piece suit to make this apparent. You're hitting people over the head with it. Stop it. Also not rooting for an Oscar obviously, but a corporate exec would never shake hands and then 5 minutes later walk into the store and start rearranging merchandise. They would look at the books and the business side of things and do research on the subject. This dude has zero idea about bath products. He has no business walking into her store 5 minutes after verbally agreeing to take over or partner up, and giving pointers with no knowledge of her product.

Also can I just say how tired I am, not just in this movie, of the cliche to-go coffee cup or ice cream cup with the characters walking down main street in their hands, clearly the containers are empty, and there's either no eating or sipping going on at all, or it's really poorly acted pretending to sip hot coffee. Come on. You don't have to get Academy Award winners to inject some reality into this. Stop with the idea that these props are needed in every outdoor scene. Every single scene in a Hallmark movie someone brings or picks up take out coffee and every single time it's clearly not full of hot liquid or any liquid. I know it's tiny detail. So someone probably saying chill out, it's Hallmark. So what. Not looking for intense character development. Tiny details like these make a bad movie unbearable.

30 minutes in, I can't continue watching this. The 2 leads have no chemistry. The male lead whether from writing or his own personality has no business in a schmalzy Hallmark movie.

A Honeymoon to Remember (2021 TV Movie)

deserves zero stars

[1/10 · 11 September 2021]

Listen, it's Hallmark or Lifetime or whatever. No one is expecting Hemingway or Shakespeare character development or an Oscar. But every movie has a protagonist. Ava is the main character, and if it were just a simple case of her being a control freak, which so many Rom Com women are, she would go to the resort, learn to loosen up, and get over her heartache. And then either choose carefree new guy, or go back to old guy who dumped her just before the altar but have made some personality changes on her own part.

But in no part of her getaway, did she see how seriously psycho crazy it was that she had bought her wedding dress already before the 2 were even seriously dating, and had her b/f's future career planned out for him, had booked the venue before they even sat down to talk about wedding details, and already booked their honeymoon, ...and already had a detailed list of their future kids, what the kids names would be without even talking to him. That's not just minor Hallmark control issues, that's serious psychosis. Major red flag. And dude had every right to run for the hills, and yet she was making him look like the bad guy 100% for calling off the wedding. She and Courtney Cox a la Friends should get together, they would be soulmates.

He should have been the protagonist, in a real world scenario, and he would have not tried to get her back, because no one would fly halfway across the globe to fight for someone that bat sh crazy. You don't marry that kind of psychotic. You date them maybe for a few weeks in a whirlwind steamy foreign romance. You don't go oh yeah she had our entire lives planned out before we even had a serious conversation together down to how many kids we would have, when we would have them and what their names would be, what my career moves would look like, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

Yeah Hallmark or whoever produced this, got this all wrong. This should have been the makings of some psycho thrasher horror flick where she murders the guy, a la Fatal Attraction. This kind of psychosis doesn't belong in a Rom Com. Ever.

Love Is a Piece of Cake (2020 TV Movie)

eek

[1/10 · 23 August 2021]

Dont have to work in a bakery or pro kitchen to be irritated by the fact that no 3rd gen baker in a shop inherited by her grandma (no mention of her mom being a baker ever so not sure why someone said 3rd..the great gramma connection doesnt come out til the end) would be paying rent 65 years later. Nor would you have to be to cringe at every bit of that bakery kitchen. Cute little jars of sprinkles and chocolate wafers and decorating tips placed strategically on the counter like some Pier 1 Imports or Williams Sonoma store display. Not only that a couple of rack and rolls filled with baking trays that are upside down and all empty. In fact they dont even look like theyve ever been used. Not only that, shes talked about deep cleaning her mixers but all I see is them mixing cake batter by hand in small bowls you might use to bake a cake at home for a family of 3. And that was the big grocery store order. She shouldnt have even kept afloat 5 years. I really wish even Hallmark would give credit to viewers more and be more authentic in creating a plausible scene or scenario.

Beyond cringe worthy that the owner of this bakery after 5 years has no idea that the books are as grim as they are. Epic fail all around.

The only genuine person is the little pre school aged girl. None of the others have a natural bone in their body. Every scene and conversation seems fake and forced and no chemistry. Even for a Hallmark movie.

A Love to Remember (2021 TV Movie)

Bad remake of a classic 90s rom com

[1/10 · 13 March 2021]

It's really hard to 'judge' a movie with fresh eyes when it's a remake of an older movie. Really hard not to compare characters and plot and writing and chemistry between protagonists. This is a very cheap knock-off of While You were Sleeping with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. Spoiler alert unless you've seen that movie then my review isn't spoiling anything new. I feel like the producer had an idea to do a remake and wanted to update it a bit, but I mean 1995 is a long time ago, so maybe they forgot the details of WYWS, so they piece mealed their script together with a bunch of loopholes. And he/she should have done the exact same script or gone in a completely different direction. You can't pick a couple of elements and then stick them together and expect it not to be a choppy disconnected mess. In WYWS, Lucy and Peter had never even spoken to each other so he didn't know she existed. In this, J and T knew each other online at least for a year. Also in WYWS, the family knew that Peter was engaged, they just had never met the fiancee. This family is written exactly the same as the og family, gregarious, friendly, loud, and supposedly close to their son (unlike in the og movie) so there's no way A) they wouldn't even know he was married, and B)wouldn't interrogate Tenley for wedding photos or other details. Everett, the best buddy since K school, didn't know either. Not really plausible. In the og movie, the 2 dudes were actual brothers but they weren't really close because Peter was a corporate suit and disconnected from his family and their 'small town vibe'. Then there are little idiosyncrasies like Tenley's complicated relationship with her mom she mentions at the beginning but that story line is ignored completely so there was no point in even mentioning it. The other disaster is Tenley and Everett having no real chemistry- again I'm comparing to Bullock and Pullman in WYWS, those 2 were completely in sync. There were a lot of little things thrown in for filler, that didn't do the plot any favours, the sister in theater, the sister with the secret boyfriend. They just seemed like the writer went to the detail store and bought a bunch of random details to throw into the movie to fill it out. My last beef is with Tenley, I'm not pushing to stereotype green thumbed people, but she works in a garden all day, and none of her clothes were appropriate, all I ever saw her in were dresses and blouses and dress shoes. Not saying she had to be in coveralls the whole movie, but certainly any realism for such a role would have put her in jeans or khakis and work boots etc suitable to a job surrounded by soil. Lastly, when the truth finally comes out and Everett gives her his how dare you speech he calls it 'his family'. It is not 'his' family. He was introduced as Jared's best friend and while he mentioned a few times to her they were joined at the hip, he never went to the hospital much, in fact the whole family didn't seem sincerely stressed that their son was in a coma. in WYWS the whole family was visiting Peter in the hospital constantly, the brother sat with him often and talked to him and played cards etc. Never saw Everett in there once except for the beginning scene with he has to be there for when Tenley shows up so they can do the who are you what are you doing here scene. All in all, don't waste your time with this. Go find the og, bullock and Pullman did a way better job in While you Were Sleeping.

You're Bacon Me Crazy (2020 TV Movie)

One or two major holes, couple minor ones, otherwise just another sad Hallmark movie

[3/10 · 1 February 2021]

Listen I wouldn't hold the same yardstick to a Hallmark food/chef/bakery/cooking movie as I would to an actual movie starring Zeta Jones or some other attempt at an A list blockbuster hit. I know they're all cookie cutter. But what are the chances I just saw another food truck competition movie a couple of weeks ago and they were both equally chintzy. Skip to my lou to the market to get some flowers and a baguette and then sit pretty on the food prep counter of your food truck to talk to people outside. Newflash no pro kitchen people do that. Another movie with props. The last one I saw was some bakery movie, and like they dropped a pretty face into a bakery kitchen and then went through a restaurant equipment catalog and clicked 'purchase' and then just dumped them all shiny and new into the kitchen and said ok that's all we need to make a kitchen movie look authentic.

Listen, if you ignore the fact that the whole food and cooking scene was completely fake as per usual Hallmark standards (you know, pretty girl who puts on a white jacket and pretends to be a chef), it was another run of the mill romance. If you dont care that she would just stroll through the market and help herself to stuff without paying, or that she goes on about having people lined up every single day for the past 5 years she's been running the truck, and yet every time you see her inside her truck there is either not a single customer, or the times she had a lineup and orders piled up, she just stood there with her 2 cohorts gawking out the window at her love interest bacon dude. Ok not to mention I mean for the sake of the story they want to highlight her tension with his truck, she's never made a single mention of any other trucks in the area- the truck is parked in a busy plaza but bacon dude is the only other truck you ever see. Until they go out for dinner one night, then she seems to know everyone's name. If you dont mind the fact that there's a HUGE plot hole, the story of why her granmpa's grocery store/market that she helped out at when she was tiny is now for lease, and yet somehow near the end of the movie, we have zero details of that backstory, did he die, why is it closed up, why does she not have a clue who owns the place now? She said she was born and raised Portland and never left. It's not like she left like in so many Hallmark movies, you know, born in some small village, leaves for big city, comes back and takes over family business etc etc. This bothered me that there was zero info on this. You went from ringing the bell on the counter when you were a preteen at your grampa's grocery store, fast forward zero life story, between then and now running a food truck for 5 years, mysteriously. No culinary school. Which is fine. Not everyone has to go to culinary school. But dear Hallmark writers. You can't just make up backstory stuff and drop it in but not explain it. The dots do have to connect. Even for a cheapo Hallmark movie.

If you're not bothered by the fact that she's been 'killing it' in the food truck scene for the past 5 years in a city that everyone knows is a giant food truck scene, she would have known all about social media presence, and not played dumb with her niece. Newflash all food truck owners know thats the only way to promote themselves. The last major loophole is how her thing seems to be 'cooking with love' and goes on about fresh veggies etc, so head to her house and she's transplanting a mature tree in full bloom. For one thing, you don't transplant mature trees that are in full bloom, they would never survive. Not a huge deal if you are a generic Hallmark viewer and don't pay attention to these details, and/or not a gardener. Right so not a big deal. But the blatant lack of vegetables in every single one of her raised beds? she went on about planting veggies to donate to the homeless shelter? All she had were roses and tulips or daffodils. So that was kinda stupid. And finally, also a detail that one notices if one is into cooking or produce, but not enornous flaw. Persimmons aren't in season in May. They are ready in the fall. Again, minor detail if you don't care about those details or you don't know anything about produce and so this wouldn't bother you. It bothers me even so with Hallmark movies when the writers sitting at their boardroom table go oh hey we should drop this item into the plot for a little side story. But let's not bother research first and make sure it's actually plausible. Not glaring error, but bigger than say hey the movie was set in 1945 and yet the car the dude was driving didn't come out until a year later. I mean I wouldn't even point out that stuff for a Hallmark movie. Because it's Hallmark. But at least assume that your audience probably has some basic understanding about gardening. Or don't just make sh up to suit your story. Anyway, 2 sub par food truck movies in 2 weeks. What are the odds? Glad this was filmed before the pandemic. For that matter I hope Hallmark doesn't try to shoot any movies during the pandemic. Cause you know how that would go.

Love at Sunset Terrace (2020 TV Movie)

Best hallmark I've seen, hit the mark on all levels

[10/10 · 3 January 2021]

Unbelievable im saying that. Always go into Hallmark with low expectations. Before the movie started and I read the summary saying 'stressed out LA biz woman goes to airbnb to decompress, I'm envisioning the thousands of other formula hallmark movies, where rigid uptight nasty b...chy marketing or other exec goes to small hicktown country bumpkin getaway, with 5 suitcases of manolo blahniks and chanel suits in tow and looking like a fish out of water. meanwhile the small town is painted as a hick town, where the only thing the locals think about are thanksgiving parades and town christmas tree lighting ceremonies and pie bakeoffs. And then the stiff nasty city woman comes in and treats them all like hicks. This lead female is so utterly refreshing. The actress and also her character built throughout the whole movie. I'd love to see her more, never seen her before. Yeah she was stressed, which is why she left LA but the writers didn't beat us over the head with it. She's very likeable. Secondly, her chemistry with the single dad's daughter is natural and easy, neither rushed and fake, for the sake of the story line, nor slow to build and contrived. Other refreshing scene, is the natural and organic chemistry between the male and female lead. Just a natural flow the whole movie including some intimate convos without being kissy kissy and also not those normal Hallmark scenes where you get hit over the head with morose lonely sad dude whose wife died and hes a morose depressed individual ever since. Likewise, the female lead is not painted one of those super busy workaholics who goes on about never having time to date, or to get away from an equally high strung city boy fiance or boyfriend. Desperately trying to not ruin put in plot spoilers. But I don't think I do that when I say the movie has all the makings of a hallmark light easy going movie with a variety of delightful characters in the movie, a good balance of different interactions between different characters. Very huge deal to me is that the single dad dynamic is done well. Every single Hallmark movie I see with a single dad, the writers make the dude look like he's just babysitting some actor or niece or neighbour's friend for the weekend. Such a good chemistry with the dad and his daughter, and she doesn't spend the full 90 minutes and every waking moment trying to set him up on a date. Summary, light airy movie, defo recommend and I dont think I've ever given a 10 stars to any movie, def not Hallmark lol. No surprise ending obviously, but the 2 leads didn't end up smoochy woochy in the first 5 minutes of meeting each other, which writers seem to think is necessary for a 90 minute rom com, including some walking down the aisle scene by the end of the movie, even though they only met a week ago, nor does it drag on with no apparent chemistry between the two. The rest you have to see for yourself, I can't comment on more without spoiler alerts all over. And I mean it's not giving away deets in a thriller or mystery movie, it's a pretty formulaic Hallmark movie, but writers hit the mark on plot, on character development, on chemistry between everyone, scenery. Overall well done, Bravo Hallmark. Please use these 2 leads again. They work really well together.

My Birthday Romance (2020 TV Movie)

lost my appetite watching this.

[1/10 · 29 December 2020]

Yes I mean literally lost my appetite. I made sushi for dinner and started eating while the movie started, and I literally lost my desire for sushi. That's a big deal for me lol.

Yes I know it's Hallmarkish- Yes I know it's a fairly cookie cutter formula, when has it not been done, daughter 'hires' someone to play her boyfriend to get family off her back. This was so awful, there was zero dialogue from them besides harrassing her to get a date, or hook up with one of their friends etc. Like seriously, you can stick a side story or sub plot or some other substance in a movie, even Hallmark, besides this. Even if they are annoying in that regard, the producers didn't have to make that 100% of the dialogue for 90 minutes. A) It's totally not realistic. B)it makes for really painful TV, like poke your eyes out or ears bleed TV.

So if this kind of thing irritates you then don't watch this.

SEcondly but probably more importantly, the protagonist is supposedly a caterer? And again, Hallmark, I get it. Weve seen and ive stomached some pretty sorry examples of bakers or chefs displaying their skills. Like Cringeworthy. OK I cook for a living so I have a keen eye for details or degree of authenticity. And the writers don't have to make it look like the real commercial kitchen, and most often they don't anyway. But come on, do a little research. Or have stepped foot in a kitchen at least once before you make the focal point of her story being a caterer. From precooking a souffle at x in the morning and then complaining that it fell? Hello, you don't even have to be a trained chef to know you dont 'precook' a souffle. Or cooking pasta but when the helper girl pulls a piece out of the pot to check if it's al dente, A) she throws it against the wall- hello, we dont do that in commercial kitchens, B), the water is not even simmering or rolling or moving.

And then when the 'fake' boyfriend comes into her catering kitchen she dumps her dish all over him, forgive me if I wasn't looking closely but it didn't look like veal parmigiano.

No chemistry between anyone. Acting skills seemed to have been left at the door.

And on and on. Again, the premise of 'hiring' a fake boyfriend for a party is a common plot and I've seen it done well, it's not a bad plot. But this just missed every mark, every single mark. No redeeming qualities about this. Would give it a zero or less if I could.

The Hollow (2015 TV Movie)

Wow!

[3 July 2020]

The concept before anything was actually written into a script may have actually had potential. OK listen there is a long list of b movie horror flicks from the 70s and 80s like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and the Blob. I can't even recall those comedic works. Maybe they were the same quality. I don't remember. All I know is the concept of a creature that comes out during Halloween is not new, but it's not a bad one, the writing however was atrocious, and the main actors were so beyond appalling, I feel embarrassed for them in 20 years from now this will surface and they will feel utterly ashamed for starring in this movie. But most of all the screen writer and producer and director who sat in their chair and actually went ahead with this. Unless the aim was to make the most atrocious film with the most atrocious actors ever on purpose. Then it was a major success. I can't even take this at face value, and I try to do that when I'm watching different genres of movies and not have different expectations. Ugh.

Love You to Death (2015 TV Movie)

needs zero stars

[1/10 · 25 June 2020]

The acting is so beyond horrific even for a TV movie. So many things shoved into this movie beyond the thriller theme, but nothing gets really deeply explored or resolved so it's just a bunch of teaser issues thrown in. Indescribably bad acting. Can't even take the acting at face value given the TV movie status. Do not watch this movie.

Recipe for Love (2014 TV Movie)

left bad taste in my mouth

[3/10 · 8 June 2020]

Yes I know, it's Hallmark and you take Hallmark rom coms at face value so you don't hold the same criticism to your 5 year old's crayon drawing as you would to a Picasso. And I know people do that arrogantly, whether it's paintings or food or anything else. You know the 'experts' I'm talking about. We all know one, or maybe even are one ourselves. We are an expert in a field and we can't get away from criticizing everyone even if they are not in the same field so the criticism is unwarranted. The thing is, Dexter Durant is a persona, like Ramsay or any other celeb chef and he is a real person underneath, so he's human. And that's good. Actually bearable to watch. Because it's not that I cook for a living and critique every movie with food or cooking in it to a professional standard. It's Hallmark. It's a cheap rom com. It's not a contender for a James Beard Award or a Pulitzer or a Golden Globe. And we know even movies like Titanic or Star Wars end up with a 5 page list of 'goofs' which are not just oversight in shooting a scene but blatant ignorance of details like putting a Rolex in a WW2 movie. Blatant. And whether you are a Golden Globe contender or a cheesy Hallmark rom com, you should at least research a bit of the subject of your story. So when I can take the rest of the movie at face value, ie. the 2 main characters are kinda cute, and have some kind of chemistry, one big thing like a professional chef mispronouncing the word bruschetta is like someone assembling a gorgeous fruit salad but not washing and sorting through the strawberries and one bite of mold ruins the entire salad. The rest of the salad is tainted. The rest of the movie is tainted. So if you, unlike me, can get past those embarrassing errors, then feel free to watch this in its light as a cheap cheesy rom com. I couldn't do it. So if those kinds of big details bother you then this isn't the movie for you. And yes I know there are goofs out there, unless you are looking for them and are an expert in world war 2 fighter planes and can pick out a gaffe like the 'oh that fighter plane in the movie was from September 1943 and the movie was set in 1942, big disappointment'. No realistically that shouldn't leave a bad taste in your mouth,. If you spend an entire movie looking for quark sized errors, then what a waste of watching a movie, unless your profession is film critic lol. Which is fine. But all reviews should be prefaced with that information. Kind of like when you review a restaurant dinner. Your critique of a sushi dinner if you've never eaten anything but boxed mac and cheese is not going to be as useful as that of someone who has vast experience with Japanese food. As far as cooking rom coms go, not the worst I've seen. But not the best either/

Newlywed and Dead (2016 TV Movie)

Appalling acting and writing

[1/10 · 28 February 2020]

The story line is done to death. Pun pun. Really there are many cookie cutter formula movies and we take them at face value because they're not especially well written, or new story material. Some are better crafted than others, however. I mean we don't expect some mysterious plot twists for 2 hours before you figure out whodunit, but come on. The acting is horrible. The characters are all completely one sided and flat and colorless, and if there were shades of predictable, Christopher Russell makes my eyes bleed or ears, or both. Come on, writers. We don't expect War and Peace, but let's make our characters minutely more human and complex. And Shenae is so beyond dumb, every other character. AKKKK I cant even fathom the credentials of whoever wrote this drivel. If I had eaten before watching this I would have lost my lunch. Steer clear. Far clear. Far away. Do not pass go.

Along Came a Nanny (2014 TV Movie)

super cheap kids entertainment

[2/10 · 22 February 2020]

I have to think this was more written to entertain kids, like some kids caper slash comedy. Because Logan overemotes the whole bumbling idiot thing way too much for this to be an actual adult. He's a detective, he hasn't lived under a rock. To fumble around a kitchen fridge or washing machine or juice box block of tofu to the utter point of imbecility is so unbelievable, it's embarrassing to watch. Not for his sake, but for the sake of someone actually writing this drivel. I only wonder if it got better but I couldn't sit through another minute.