sdavid-41660 Reviews

Gran Torino (2008)

A National Treasure

[10/10 · 6 June 2024]

I grew up in the 1960's watching a young Clint Eastwood on television in Rawhide, never imagining that he would evolve into a great director directing himself. That career actually began in 1971 with Play Misty for Me, an underrated thriller that predated and anticipated the more famous Fatal Attraction. It's hard to believe that the curmudgeons like in Million Dollar Baby and Gran Torino he's now known for are the same person, yet here he is 50 years later still going strong. Not to mention the many, many, many movies over the decades he's starred in, ranging from westerns to romances, war films, police films, and even a musical. He is the living definition of prolific.

In Gran Torino he plays a bigoted, recently widowed Korean War veteran named Walt Kowalski who is alienated from his two adult sons and his grandchildren. His Detroit neighborhood has become (he would say) infested with Cambodian refugees. A family of them has moved in next door. Walt spends the beginning of the film growling at them. But despite his hard exterior Walt comes to know the Cambodian family and as a substitute for his biological family he develops a deep affection for them, becoming a father figure to the teenager next door who tried to steal his prized 1972 Gran Torino in a botched gang initiation the boy was forced to participate in.

Not unlike his Oscar winning Million Dollar Baby from a few years before, Gran Torino also features an act of sudden violence that leads to a poignant and heartbreaking ending.

For his remarkable body of work and lifetime achievements as an actor and director, often both at once, Clint Eastwood has earned his place as an American National Treasure.

Unfrosted (2024)

Unfrosted is profoundly Unfunny

[1/10 · 30 May 2024]

This film answers the question whether the real Jerry Seinfeld is funny - and the painful answer obvious to anyone watching Unfrosted is a long overdue no. Unfrosted is a Seinfeld vanity project, produced by, directed by, written by and starring Jerry himself. I was frankly never a fan of Seinfeld, a show so unpopular in its first season it was nearly cancelled. But like many modern cultural phenomena it caught on because it was considered hip and cool to watch. If you watched Seinfeld back in the 1990s you were a member of the club. You *belonged*. It didn't matter that the show wasn't funny: Seinfeld had a laugh track to remind the audience when they were supposed to laugh. The dreadful Unfrosted at last reveals Jerry Seinfeld as an unfunny and undeniable has-been. He no longer has a laugh track to hide behind.

Blue Angels: Around the World at the Speed of Sound (1994 TV Movie)

Not everyone can be the cream of the cake

[10/10 · 26 April 2024]

I first saw this outstanding documentary on the Discovery channel thirty years ago before there were flatscreen high definition televisions or digital recordings. I actually videotaped the show. In 1994, of course, the "Blues" were flying the legacy F/A-18 Hornets. It would be decades before they transitioned to the larger, faster and more powerful Super Hornets. But their razor-sharp maneuvers look much the same if not exactly the same in both jets. After watching this 95 minute documentary, you will know everything you need to know about The Blue Angels, the US Navy Flight Demonstration Squadron.

I have one comment that is meant as skepticism, not criticism. In the documentary, one of the pilots claims that he's an ordinary guy, implying that there's nothing extraordinary about the men (now men and women) who fly with The Blue Angels. Don't you believe it. These pilots are America's finest, chosen not just for their superb flying skills but also as high-profile front-line goodwill ambassadors for our country and the US Navy. Looking at and listening to them, they make me even more proud to be an American, if that's even possible.

The reality is that the young men and women the Blue Angels inspire to join the Navy are ever more likely to spend their careers chipping paint off the side of some ship than punching a hole in the sky in a Blue Angels' Super Hornet.

The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial (2023)

A Bad Ending to an Award Winning Career

[3/10 · 6 March 2024]

The Caine Mutiny, the novel that inspired the film and the play The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, had a great ending.

In the 1954 film version, Jewish lawyer and naval lieutenant Barney Greenwald is the hero who wins the case for his mutinous client, an uneducated but honorable executive officer, by discrediting as mentally unfit the ship's Captain Queeg - even though Queeg had been found mentally fit by a team of Navy psychiatrists. The actual villain was the naval officer on board the Caine named Thomas Keefer who hated Queeg. It was Keefer who had slyly convinced the executive officer that Queeg was mentally unfit, when actually he wasn't.

The secret was not only in the writing but also the casting. In the film, Greenwald was convincingly if not brilliantly played by Jose Ferrer, Queeg by the immortal Humphrey Bogart in one of his most famous performances, and Keefer by Fred MacMurray who had built his career playing heavies.

In sad contrast, this version of The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, unnecessarily updated from WW II to the present, miscast Jason Clarke as Greenwald, trying his best to hide his Australian accent. Kiefer Sutherland in the thankless role as Queeg could never replace Bogart. And the actor playing the vitally important part of Thomas Keefer was entirely forgettable. I bet that no one can remember his name much less his face without googling him.

This was the final project for the late director William Friedkin, who will be remembered for The French Connection, The Exorcist and To Live and Die in L. A. He can only hope that he won't be remembered for The Caine Mutiny Court Martial. It was a bad ending to an award winning career.

True Detective (2014– )

Iceland plays Alaska in this limited series

[1/10 · 3 February 2024]

The current season 4 starring a weathered Jodie Foster is arguably the worst show in the history of television. Six scientific researchers in a remote laboratory in Alaska suddenly disappear and are later discovered naked and dead outdoors in the snow. (The show is actually filmed in Iceland, but hey, snow is snow.)

What follows is an investigation by the local sheriff, played by Foster, and a sidekick trooper played by an actress so unknown, not even she could tell you her name. So far, after three episodes, no explanation for the disappearance and deaths of the scientists is provided, except for a number of references to spiritual Eskimo mumbo-jumbo.

The show is not simply incoherent, but powerfully incoherent, which is much worse than simply incoherent. Among the many unanswered questions is why Foster's character wears 4 (or is it 5) stars on her sheriff's lapel. Who does she think she is? Patton?

I, Tonya (2017)

Abuse isn't funny

[10/10 · 17 January 2024]

More than a few critics have described this biopic as a comedy, and they're right - assuming that you find child abuse and domestic violence funny. But of course they are not funny, and it's cruel and contemptible to call this film based on Tonya Harding's sad life a comedy.

For the first two decades of her life Tonya was subjected to the most extreme mental and emotional abuse imaginable by a mother who made Joan Crawford seem like a saint by comparison. She tried to escape her living hell by marrying a loser who physically abused her. It is a miracle that throughout this relentless torment she was still able to concentrate on her skating and to find the focus, both mental and physical, that is required to compete at an Olympic level.

Margot Robbie gives a bravura performance capturing Tonya Harding's mannerisms, speech and even her skating. Allison Janney plays Tonya's monster of a mother in an Oscar winning performance of her own. The tragedy of watching this poor girl, deprived of love, kindness, protection and ultimately her future, surely deserves our pity. Seeing her persevere to survive such adversity while sharpening her skills to skate like a champion surely deserves our admiration. But just as surely, none of it deserves our laughter.

I read that after being broke and destitute she has a current net worth of $5 million. If that's true then for once it's Tonya who's had the last laugh.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

A brilliant sequel

[10/10 · 14 December 2023]

Actually, this movie is so good, the 1986 original should be called a prequel. The writers ingeniously wove Penny Benjamin, the unseen admiral's daughter mentioned in passing in the original, into the current story in addition to Goose's son, call sign Rooster. In fact, in the final sequence, Rooster is sitting behind Maverick in an F-14 just like his Dad in the original. And it was moving to see Maverick reconnect with his old nemesis Iceman thirty-six years later. The film also paid homage to the famous volleyball sequence in the original, but unlike the original, this script was filled with humor. Maybe best of all was the breathtaking aerial photography and sound design. This film deserves to be called a blockbuster if any film ever did.

Frasier (1993–2004)

The best sitcom in the history of Television

[10/10 · 18 November 2023]

Frasier is the best show in the history of television with the greatest characters played by the perfect actors to deliver the funniest lines ever written. Remember how good the show Cheers was? Frasier is Cheers on steroids.

The cast delivers their lines using deadpan humor that is both hilarious and brilliantly clever. Frasier and his brother Niles are two pompous psychiatrists whose father as their foil is a salt of the earth retired cop. They are supported by an ensemble cast of characters which are beautifully developed over the many years the show ran. By the final episode it was as if we were losing members of the family we all wish we had and had grown to love.

Better Call Saul (2015–2022)

The best spinoff since Frasier, maybe the best spinoff ever

[10/10 · 10 August 2023]

Like Kelsey Grammer, actor Bob Odenkirk was given a wonderful character to play by his writers, and to support him, a superb ensemble cast so strong it's impossible to name one without naming them all. The actors were largely unknown so they became real people to their audiences. The plotting and dialogue are nothing short of brilliant.

To fans of Breaking Bad we learn the origins of Saul, Mike and Gustavo. Saul began as Jimmy McGill and ended as Gene Takovic: one person playing three irresistible characters. A fast-talking lawyer with outrageous legal tactics, an unlimited imagination and the best con man since Henry Gondorff, Jimmy tragically used his superpowers for bad instead of for good. Not to be outdone, the story arcs of Kim, Howard and Chuck, Jimmy's lover, boss and brother, come to stunning conclusions.

With a show like this you can only speak in superlatives. A word of caution: it's helpful to your understanding of the show's intricacies to have watched Breaking Bad first, as Better Call Saul is both a prequel, and with respect to the fate of the titular character, a sequel and grand finale. It explores, explains and closes the curtain on the life of arguably the most fascinating character in the history of television.

Time After Time (1979)

A Plot Hole Large Enough To Fly A Time Machine Through

[1/10 · 26 April 2023]

So, according to the screenplay, HG Wells actually invented a Time Machine, and after unpleasantly discovering at a dinner party at his house that his physician friend of many years was the notorious Jack the Ripper, Wells uses his Time Machine to follow the Ripper into the future of 1979 to stop him from killing and to return him to 1895 to face justice.

Wells devises a complicated plan revolving around his 1979 girlfriend, going back a week in time in his Machine to just before the Ripper murders her, having her check into a hotel so the Ripper won't find her at home, while Wells waits at her home with a gun he was somehow able to buy without ID to kill the Ripper himself.

Naturally, almost everything that could go wrong, goes wrong, leading the Ripper to kidnap the girlfriend at knifepoint, with Wells chasing them through the unfamiliar streets of San Francisco at night in a Honda that he somehow has learned on the fly how to operate and control at high speeds.

All Wells, a supposed genius, had to do instead was simply return from the future to the time of his dinner party, and arrange for the police to be there to arrest the Ripper, who had arrived late to the party with the blood of his most recent victim staining a pair of gloves inside his medical bag.

Even better, he could have gone even further back in time to the day before Jack the Ripper began his serial killing, and killed the Ripper himself, armed with the knowledge from his dinner party who the Ripper really was, thus saving a lot of lives.

Even better still, he could have traveled to Germany before Hitler rose to power and killed him too, thus raising the number of lives he saved to more than 6 million.

Twelve O'Clock High (1949)

Paint him with iodine ...

[10/10 · 15 March 2023]

Twelve O'Clock High was my Dad's favorite film before it became one of mine. It's the story of a hard luck American bombing squadron based in Britain during WW II. The air combat footage in the film is authentic and provided a model for George Lucas to use in Star Wars.

The Americans were experimenting with daylight precision bombing. Gregory Peck plays a tough, no nonsense General named Frank Savage who's assigned to whip the squadron into shape by pushing them to exert their maximum effort.

In a scene reminiscent of Patton, General Savage shows no sympathy for his troops complaining of battle fatigue. He orders the squadron's flight surgeon when confronted with such a complaint to "paint it with iodine and mark it fit for duty."

General Savage led by example and pushed himself as hard as his men. So please explain to me why, when Savage has *his* nervous breakdown at the end of the film, the flight surgeon didn't obey his orders, paint him with iodine and mark him fit for duty?

Instead, Savage is given the luxury of missing a crucial and dangerous bombing mission by simply appearing to stare into space unresponsively. Yossarian, the cowardly bombardier in Catch-22, would have considered his behavior an inspiration.

Apparently in General Savage's case, the iodine painting that was good for the geese was not good for the gander.

Better Call Saul: Chicanery (2017) Season 3, Episode 5

A Master Class in Writing and Acting

[10/10 · 5 September 2022]

The template for this amazing episode's courtroom drama was the famous court martial scene in The Caine Mutiny, where defense counsel was able to win his case by making the ship's captain appear mentally ill, even though he was not the one on trial and psychiatrists had testified he was totally sane.

In the BCS episode, Michael McKean's outburst and disintegration under cross-examination echoed Humphrey Bogart's in The Caine Mutiny, with identical results.

BCS is one of the finest dramas ever shown on television - if not *the* finest. Better than Ozark, The Wire, The Americans, dare I say even better than The Sopranos, and way better than Breaking Bad.

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)

Older and Fatter

[5/10 · 1 August 2022]

My wife and I had just finished watching Breaking Bad, so transitioning to El Camino while the Breaking Bad finale was still fresh in our minds from the night before was a natural.

But what about those viewers who had last seen Breaking Bad, not the night before but six years before? With so much passage of time, how much did they remember and did they even still care enough what happened to Jesse to watch El Camino?

El Camino picks up at the moment Breaking Bad left off. Yet the film was made six years later and the Breaking Bad characters who appear in El Camino look not the same age but six years older. In the case of Todd and Jesse, six years older and just plain fat.

Actors like Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale have demonstrated how to lose weight to make a role more convincing. You would think that the lesser actors who played Todd and Jesse would want to follow their examples. Jesse looks like he actually gained weight while in captivity.

As for Jesse's destiny winding up alone in the Alaskan wilderness, it would have been so much more fun and fitting instead to see him partner with Saul to co-manage that Cinnabon in Omaha. Who would not have loved seeing the look on Saul's face as Jesse walks through his door?

Frankly, I think El Camino was nothing more than an opportunity for D-list supporting actors who hadn't worked much in the six years since Breaking Bad ended to resume their former acting careers, if only fleetingly. I mean, let's face it, when will any of us see the actors who played Jesse's parents ever again in this lifetime?

Breaking Bad (2008–2013)

A Good Series Marred By A Bad Ending

[7/10 · 30 July 2022]

Breaking Bad is basically the story of Walter White, a meek but brilliant Albuquerque, New Mexico high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal cancer, and with the help of a former student already selling drugs, secretly resorts to cooking meth to supplement his income in order to pay his mountain of medical bills and to provide for his pregnant wife and son with cerebral palsy after his death.

Back when he was a graduate student, Walt was instrumental in forming an innovative start-up, but his business partners took advantage of him and he sold his shares in the company for a pittance and lost the opportunity to make millions.

Walt now discovers he's not only adept at cooking meth, but also in lying to his family and dealing with the dangerous and frightening criminals he meets as he expands his business enterprise and makes more money than he ever thought possible. All under the unwitting nose of his brother-in-law Hank Schrader, a dedicated DEA agent, who sees the clues but is unable or unwilling to believe they could be connected to Walt.

The series proceeds over 62 tense episodes and five seasons as Walt loses his moral compass and descends into committing murder and deceit with a surprising arrogance and confidence.

Bryan Cranston stars as Walt in a career defining role reminiscent of James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano. He is ably supported by a cast including Dean Norris as Hank the DEA agent and Bob Odenkirk as a shyster lawyer so popular with the viewers that he earned his own show featuring his Breaking Bad character, Saul Goodman.

The series is dramatically intense while interspersed with dark humor, and succeeds up until the last episode when Walt builds a device in the trunk of his car, which for it to work needs to be positioned perfectly and for everyone to behave exactly as, and to be standing precisely where, Walt had planned. It's much too neat, if not ridiculous an ending, and ruined what could and should have been an effective finale to an exciting series.

Ocean's Eleven (1960)

When Male Chauvinism Was Cool

[2/10 · 12 June 2022]

In the 1950s and '60s, the male chauvinists known as the Rat Pack were the kings of cool. Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. & Dean Martin were fabulous entertainers; Peter Lawford brought nothing to the table except that he was JFK's brother-in-law; and Joey Bishop was a mediocre Jewish comedian from Philadelphia whose late night talk show was a flop. Legend has it that Bishop was unceremoniously dropped from the Pack when he declined to do a favor Sinatra had asked of him.

In the 1960 movie Ocean's Eleven, the Rat Pack got together to rob some Las Vegas casinos, namely the former Sands, the Sahara and the Desert Inn. In real life, Frank, Dean & Sammy were Las Vegas headliners. Legend also has it that after a day of filming they would perform together at the Sands to packed crowds late into the night.

To round out the Eleven, the Rat Pack was joined by familiar faces Norman Fell, Richard Conte and Henry Silva, in addition to three forgettable characters to complete the group.

The story in the film takes forever to get going and the ridiculous plot was remarkably dull, though the ending is mildly amusing in its irony. The film is worth watching if only for a glimpse of what Las Vegas looked like over 60 years ago, but also for how a group of men acting like adolescents disdainfully treated women as objects and were celebrated for it.

Happy Endings (2011–2020)

Great idea for a show ...

[1/10 · 11 June 2022]

Do a "Friends" rip-off, except make sure that here the six friends have no chemistry whatsoever, and hire bad writers so the comedy isn't funny. Second, make the three dudes all wannabe Chandlers, except make sure that one is black so to be PC for the new millennium. And finally, make even the music sound similar to I'll Be There for You (but not too similar so as not to get sued for copyright infringement), then cap it all off by calling this poorly conceived, poorly constructed and poorly executed clone Happy Endings.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

A totally unnecessary remake

[1/10 · 14 May 2022]

There are so many beautiful moments to admire in the 1951 original film lacking in the 2008 remake. The look of amusement on Klaatu's face when they lock him in his hospital room. His reaction when reading the Gettysburg Address at the Lincoln Memorial. His introduction to Professor Barnhardt by solving the physics equation on his blackboard in his absence. The entire atmosphere of the film set by the eerie musical score composed by the incomparable Bernard Hermann. And unlike in the remake, the earth actually does stand still to make a crucial point. Even the elementary special effects are more effective in the original.

But best of all, the original was made without the insufferable presence of Jaden Smith. The only reason he didn't ruin the remake is because you can't spoil what's already rotten.

The Getaway (1972)

The only good thing about The Getaway is what happened offscreen

[1/10 · 16 April 2022]

Sam Peckinpah was a cranky old drunk who directed two - and only two - films worth watching. This was not one of them. The Wild Bunch and Straw Dogs were structured studies in the aesthetics of violence. The Getaway was a boring heist movie that had been done by others a hundred times before and better.

Ali MacGraw protected her reputation as easily the most wooden actress in the history of Hollywood. She did not disappoint in The Getaway.

And Steve McQueen thought the cool image he had cultivated in The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape, and Bullitt would carry him through clunkers like The Getaway with lines like, "Punch it, Baby!" He was sorely mistaken.

The only good thing about The Getaway was when Steve McQueen stole Ali MacGraw away from her husband, producer Robert Evans. It was a heist much more entertaining than the one in the movie.

Scarecrow (1973)

The Original Odd Couple

[1/10 · 2 March 2022]

It's painful to watch two such talented actors as Al Pacino and Gene Hackman in a film this bad. Both had just finished making names for themselves in The Godfather and The French Connection. Following their early commercial and artistic success, it's anyone's guess why they would choose to co-star in Scarecrow.

Gene Hackman plays Max, a belligerent ex-con making his way across country to open a car wash in Pittsburgh. Al Pacino is Francis, a mild-mannered drifter on his way to Detroit to see his son for the first time. They meet while hitchhiking, and almost immediately Max offers Francis a partnership in his car wash, even though they have nothing in common.

What follows for two hours is pointless and witless dialogue as they encounter random people in a series of escapades lacking any excitement. The story attempts to end on a dramatic note when Francis is diagnosed as catatonic, even though he had shown no signs or symptoms of this disorder for the entire duration of the film.

When I read that Gene Hackman reportedly considered his performance in Scarecrow his personal favorite after a long and distinguished career, I thought he had lost his mind. If this had been the only film either of them had made, no one today would even know their names. Yes, this film is that bad.

The Many Saints of Newark (2021)

The Prequel Pales in Comparison

[2/10 · 2 October 2021]

"The Many Saints of Newark" was supposed to be a prequel to The Sopranos, showing how a teenaged Tony was mentored by Dickie Moltisanti, who influenced him into a life of crime.

Fans of The Sopranos know that Dickie was Christopher Moltisanti's father, that Christopher found and killed the former cop who he thought had killed his father, and that in perhaps the most stunning scene in the series, Tony killed Christopher.

But instead, The Many Saints was a film about racial tensions in Newark in the late 1960's and the rise of a black gangster named Harold. Dickie's relationship with the young Tony was a subordinate story not explored enough for us to understand how and why Tony was inspired by a character as uncharismatic and as uninteresting as Dickie. Nor were we prepared for a now "woke" David Chase, the creative force behind the series and this film, to show the blacks intimidating his Italian crime family. I mean, seriously?

Finally, the actors in the film were given the impossible task to create younger versions of Chase's iconic characters; especially the actor playing Silvio Dante, who looked and acted like a grotesque parody of his later self. He prances around like he's constipated.

And with all due respect to selecting James Gandolfini's son to play Tony Soprano in his younger years, he is not a professional actor, and despite being the sentimental choice for the role, we can't see his character developing into the narcissistic and fascinating adult Tony we came to know and love in the television series.

In fact, this film was a painful reminder of how well James Gandolfini had developed the character of Tony Soprano, and how lucky we were to have an actor of his caliber supported by an outstanding cast to give us arguably the greatest dramatic show in the history of television.

Unfortunately this disappointing prequel pales in comparison.

Hit & Run (2021)

Heet & Roon

[1/10 · 23 August 2021]

Why is a show starring mostly Hebrew-speaking actors dubbed in English by Israeli actors speaking English with Israeli accents? It comes off sounding like boolsheet. Just like their characters, they should be speaking Hebrew (subtitled in English for the Hebrew-impaired) and speaking English while in New York.

I realize that Israel's a small country, but are there no leading men in a nation of nearly nine million people more attractive to play the show's hero than the short, fat, bald and just plain repulsive Lior Raz, who always looks like he smells bad, is in constant need of a bath and a shave, and has not an ounce of acting ability?

Fitzcarraldo (1982)

Without A Doubt

[1/10 · 21 June 2021]

If not the worst film ever made, Fitzcarraldo is without a doubt the dumbest. It's the story of an Irishman in the late nineteenth century who wants to share his passion for opera with the denizens of the Amazon by building them an Opera House to host the great Enrico Caruso. Because the film is incongruously dubbed in German, some of the natives can be jarringly heard speaking the language of Goethe and Mozart when presumably they should have been speaking Spanish or their own dialects.

In the film's famous set piece, Fitzcarraldo, as played by Klaus Kinski, has to drag a steamboat from one river to another over a mountain. Wearing a white suit which remains remarkably clean despite the ubiquitous mud, he employs a tribe of natives who are so primitive they have no word in their language for ice. Nevertheless, under his supervision, they succeed in clearing a path through the thick trees and dense brush of the impenetrable jungle on the slopes of a mountain with nothing more than machetes, and then to haul the ship, they rig a system of winches, ropes, cables and pulleys so complex, the US Army Corps of Engineers could not have completed the project in a month. Yet Fitzcarraldo and his band of face-painted savages seemingly do so in a few days, if not overnight.

Once back in the water, the boat barely survives a run of what looks like Class 4 rapids, and in the end is met by a gaggle of canoes, which suddenly materialize carrying no less than a formally dressed full orchestra, all their musical instruments (including kettledrums), huge stage props and elaborately costumed singers, who without further ado perform an opera on the deck of his steamboat for the titular ecstatic audience of one.

Like I said, the dumbest movie ever made.

Mean Streets (1973)

The Reel Bobby

[1/10 · 7 June 2021]

This film is an excellent, early example of Robert De Niro playing a jerk, only to realize as we came to know him later in life during innumerable interviews and appearances that he wasn't acting.

A Man for All Seasons (1988 TV Movie)

Why bother remaking perfection?

[1/10 · 18 April 2021]

The obvious answer is that the 1988 remake of the 1966 Oscar winner was nothing more than a Charlton Heston vanity project starring Charlton Heston, directed by Charlton Heston, and produced by Fraser Heston, Charlton Heston's son. Fraser Heston rose to fame as an infant portraying the infant Moses in Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments, starring - of course - Charlton Heston.

Thomas More the lawyer and statesman is a blatantly inappropriate role for Charlton Heston, who in fairness to him, played pretty good cowboys in Will Penny and The Big Country without overacting too badly. If only Thomas More had been a cowpoke instead of Chancellor of England, Charlton Heston might have won the Oscar for Best Actor instead of Paul Scofield.

The Americans (2013–2018)

It's a wonder we won the Cold War

[10/10 · 14 April 2021]

The Americans lasted six seasons (2013-2019), so even though you can binge watch all 75 episodes on Amazon Prime, the characters age at least six years in the process. The story takes place in the 1980's during the Reagan presidency at the height of the Cold War. The Soviets have planted agents right under our noses, who live among us posing as normal Americans. The show follows the fictional Jennings family, Philip and Elizabeth, both born in Russia and groomed by Moscow to be master spies, and their two American born children, Paige and Henry, who at least initially have no idea who their parents really are. As the series begins, Paige and Henry are only 13 and 11, and you can see by the final season as they've become young adults how the years have passed.

Like The Sopranos, The Americans is first and foremost a family drama. The spy backstory is used like the Mafia is used in The Sopranos. But it's really a show about family, identity and relationships. The excellent cast is largely unknown, though there are star appearances by Margo Martindale and Frank Langella. The characters they portrayed are so strong I never want to see them play anyone else. The same with formerly unknown actors Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell. Like many of the indelible characters created by superb actors on The Sopranos, I can never see them as anyone but Philip and Elizabeth.

Also like The Sopranos, don't expect all the characters to survive the series, and both shows can boast unforgettable endings.

So you need to view The Americans as an exciting and intriguing drama (as it was intended) instead of a documentary or political commentary (as it was not). The premise itself is so absurd that if looked at seriously it's almost comical: that the Soviets could actually recruit and train young Russians to become masters of spy craft, to speak perfect unaccented English, willing to devote their entire lives to this dangerous endeavor, to successfully pass for decades as a married American couple, and to complete their cover, to have and raise unsuspecting children and run a fully functioning travel agency on DuPont Circle while living in suburban Washington, DC - all the while engaged in a daily nonstop cat-and-mouse life-and-death game of espionage and assassination with FBI Counterintelligence. Each side has their wins and losses, but if you accept the series finale as emotionally powerful and not logically dubious (unfortunately, it's both), the biggest losers are Philip and Elizabeth.

My recommendation is to put your credulity aside and just enjoy the ride.

That said, the spoilers below make one wonder how we won the Cold War:

1. Frank Gaad was the head of FBI counterintelligence, but his office was bugged in broad daylight by his secretary, whose husband was a KGB officer.

2. FBI agent Stan Beeman had KGB assassins posing as travel agents as his neighbors and best friends, but it took him six seasons to figure out that maybe them going out every night for business and coming home in the early morning hours might be suspicious behavior.

3. Philip and Elizabeth used dozens of different disguises, mainly consisting of wigs, eyeglasses, and occasionally in Philip's case, facial hair, which incredibly managed to fool everyone they encountered. Not only would they need a warehouse to store all those wigs, but how did they manage to remember every detail of all the fabrications, distortions, deceptions and lies they told their targets?

4. How did they possibly find time for everything in their daily lives, including all the relationships and obligations that occupied any given day? Their marriage, their children, their travel agency, Martha, Tim, Kimberly, Hans, Claudia, Gabriel, William, EST, and all the fake identities they assumed each day to carry out their missions, often having to fly or drive to different locations in other cities and states. Not to mention the time spent drinking beer, having dinner or playing racquetball with their neighbor, Stan Beeman.

5. Did the KGB run a car dealership or an abandoned car lot? For six seasons, Philip and Elizabeth had at their disposal different cars for their missions whenever they needed them.

6. How could Philip and Elizabeth have run a travel agency for so many years and yet there were no public records of their business? No articles of incorporation, no licenses, no property lease or ownership documents, and no tax returns.

7. Can anyone explain why Philip and Elizabeth did much of their decoding in the supposed privacy of their basement behind a closed door, but in front of a window with no shade, curtain or blinds to hide their activity?

8. Beeman was a hard-working civil servant, but it's never explained how he could afford to live in a mansion fit for royalty with a three-car garage in suburban Washington, DC on a government salary.

9. According to their KGB handlers, Elizabeth and Philip (before he burned out) were their top agents, so why did the KGB not provide financial assistance for their travel agency when it was floundering, especially when they vitally needed that business as a cover?

10. What became of Paige? One day she was a fervent Christian, the next day an ardent Communist. She learned the Russian language and KGB fighting skills in record time, yet she chose on the spur of the moment to remain behind in America without her parents, even though she admittedly had no friends, no longer a home or anyone to pay for her apartment or college, no means of support, and perhaps most important, no identifying documents like a social security card or driver's license, which she had buried before boarding that train with her parents for Canada. The last we saw of Paige she was sitting alone in an abandoned KGB safe house after Claudia had fled, drinking leftover vodka. How would she avoid capture by the FBI, and who would be there to defend and advise her when she was charged with conspiracy to commit espionage?

11. Even though they had eluded him for six seasons, Beeman finally had that man-and-woman team of Soviet spies at gunpoint, ready to arrest them. He knew they were responsible for stealing secrets, wreaking havoc and killing multiple victims, including his fellow FBI agents. At the bare minimum, he would want to try to discover how badly their espionage had damaged the US. So what does he do instead? He. Lets. Them. Go!

12. Last but not least, why did Beeman blatantly ignore Philip's warning that Renee might also be a Russian agent? She suspiciously wanted to take a pay cut to work alongside him at the FBI, yet that raised no red flags for him even after Philip's warning. Seriously, with Beeman on our side, it's a wonder we ever won the Cold War.