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On Deadly Ground (1994)
This film should be featured in film classes
It is a cartoon of an action movie, perfect in almost every way, and simultaneously terrible in almost every way.
On Deadly Ground is Steven Seagal's magnum opus. Yes, he has made better films. Out for Justice, Above the Law, Under Siege, Marked for Death, and Hard to Kill are technically superior films. But if you wanted to sum up Seagal with a single film, then this is it. Seagal directs, produces and stars in this ill-thought-out, high-horsing, heavy-handed mess of a film. From start to finish, this is Seagal.
Seagal is Forrest Taft, an ex-blows-things-up-guy turned eco-terrorist who wants to destroy an oil rig. And like all of Seagal's films, with a few tiny changes in music cues and editing, it could be re-created to make Seagal the villain. In fact, in this case, it probably wouldn't even require any tinkering. Forrest has no problem with flat out murdering people from anti-environment scumbags to innocent security and army men who are simply doing their jobs. Face stabbings, neck breaking, crotch kicks — nothing is out of bounds for Forrest.
Seagal rants and raves in attempts to justify his violence. He even tells off an Alaskan native (played by non-Alaskan native Joan Chen) for trying to talk him out of rampant slaughter. Like a proper loon, he keeps a stockpile of explosives hidden away in a mountain. For a rainy day. Forrest Taft is a legit maniac. But Forrest is the hero. And so he is allowed to live out the film without being imprisoned. He even gets to deliver a heartfelt speech about pollution and evil corporations in the film's ridiculous final moments.
There are many other things that are utterly insane about this film. Seagal literally beats the racism out of a man. He goes on a demented spiritual journey. He beats up an unprecedented amount of old men. The cast outside of Seagal don't fare much better. Michael Caine tries to put on an American accent for about ten minutes and then stops. Billy Bob Thornton stands around doing nothing and then gets blown up. Dr. Cox from Scrubs murders an old man while chewing scenery like it's nobody's business. It was such a delight watching scenes without Seagal, knowing he was behind the camera shaping this ludicrous masterpiece.
It's amazing that this was allowed to exist. It is a mess of lofty ideals, a giant ego and angry violence. On Deadly Ground is pure Steven Seagal.
Awful Nice (2013)
A very pleasant surprise
I don't understand how more people aren't talking about this movie.
Awful Nice has to be one of the funniest movies I've seen since I was kid. It's not at all perfect, but it's absolutely hilarious, and just goes for it so hard.
I can understand if indie film audiences don't get it. This is more Tommy Boy and It's Always Sunny than it is Sideways or Tiny Furniture (which I like by the way), but I don't understand the mixed reviews and am honestly surprised more people haven't found this film by now. It seems like there's a cult following, but not to the point that you're hearing about it.
I first heard about Awful Nice on Doug Loves Movies, and added it to my Netflix Queue that night. I then of course forgot about it for 8 months. Then I saw it on the top ten on the pirate bay (I was just looking, I promise...) and decided I had to finally watch it. Very glad that I did. I laughed my balls off for 90 minutes straight.
It reminded me at points of Step Brothers and Wet Hot American Summer, and in a different (and almost certainly worse) universe it would be a huge studio comedy starring Jason Sudekis and Paul Rudd. It a better universe, this would've been the next Swingers or Foot Fist Way. Maybe it is and I just haven't heard about it. Either way, if you like funny movies, give this a spin. You won't be disappointed.
Road House (1989)
This is not a "good" movie, but also, this is a PERFECT movie
How do you give ratings to movies like "Road House"? It's not good in a traditional sense, like say a Shawkshank Redemption or ET. It's not original like a Big Lebowski or Edge of Tomorrow. It's not a mindless action movie either, like Con Air or Out For Justice.
But what it is, is a perfect movie. Full of action, character, wit, roundhouse kicks, drama, romance, roundhouse kicks, snappy dialogue, sexy performances, and more roundhouse kicks.
This movie is everything you want out of a movie like this, and yet, somehow, it's the only movie that IS like this. It's better than a B movie, but clearly doesn't aim to be an A movie.
Imagine if all straight to DVD (or now straight to VOD) movies had this much character, this much confidence, this much self-awareness. We would have a plethora of great Saturday afternoon movies on our hands.