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Reviews
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Fantastic Sequel
To be honest, after Guardians of the Galaxy 2, I wasn't expecting much from this movie.
I am pleased to be proven wrong.
As a Rocket fan I was excited to see the take on his origin story and I guarantee even the stoniest of hearts would be sad for him.
The viewer can see why he's so angry and why he's so loyal to friends.
Still no Howard the Duck as a Guardian, but I'm sure, like the comics, his time will come.
There are a few scenes that might seem strange to anyone that hasn't watched the Christmas special.
It's the 1st Guardians of the Galaxy movie without the Star Lord helmet.
And also the 1st to include the F bomb.
We see a more mature and sombre Guardian team after the loss of Gamora.
Even Drax seems subdued a little.
Will Poulter brings nothing to the movie but that's down to his character, Adam Warlock, being shoe horned in to a movie just for the sake of it.
Adam Warlock is purely there for the end scene of the movie, and no other reason.
I thought when the saw the original Guardian line up at the end of the 2nd movie we were going to see them in some capacity in this movie too, but alas it wasn't to be.
All in all a good solid movie, sure it's a little predictable, but it's one of those rare "super hero" movies where we actually see a character grow.
Go see it!
Get Up and Go! (1981)
Loved it as a child
1 9 8 1 - 1 9 8 5 (UK)
20 minute episodes
Beryl Reid and Stephen Boxer co-presented this kid's TV show from Yorkshire Television which was originally known as Get Up and Go!
Having left the moon and descended down to Earth, Mooncat befriended Beryl and Stephen who helped guide and entertain him.
Looking through the windows of his Moon Machine, Mooncat found himself examining the life of a window cleaner, investigating where the milkman gets his milk from (to ensure that Mooncat could enjoy his beloved Cornflakes), watching a father and daughter take a trip to the library to borrow some books and even delving into horticultural matters by checking out time-lapse footage of mushrooms and plants growing.
Beryl and Stephen read stories to Mooncat which centred on the adventures of the little girl Billie and her animal friends Woodley the dog, Monkey, Mrs Pinkerton-Trunks the elephant and Mr Milford Haven the lion.
Stephen eventually moved out of the shared house to work at a local playgroup, but he still managed to find time to visit Beryl and Mooncat every week. Stephen then opened a second-hand shop along with Mooncat in Mooncat & Co.
Helped by a never-ending stream of customers such as Pat Coombes, Wilf Lunn, Kenny Lynch, Pam Ayres and Patsy Rowlands, Mooncat continued to learn about the ways of the world.
The final series of Mooncat & Co had Stephen's brother Berni (Berni Clifton) taking over the shop
David Claridge was the puppeteer and voice of Mooncat.
Thanks to Nostalgia Central.
Poker Face: Dead Man's Hand (2023)
"There's a voice that keeps on calling me....."
What we have here is essentially a remake of the littlest hobo, but instead of London the dog we have Natasha Lyon.
The cast of actors is good, but this is simply to detract from the obvious short comings of the show.
The plots are obvious.
Like pretty much everything from Rian Johnson the plots are unoriginal, taken from successful movies or TV shows and rehashed, badly.
I'm at a loss at how the man continues to gain employment!
It shows what a sorry state the "business" is in.
Run by the talentless that think anything earlier than 2000 is ancient and anything is black and white is simply not to be watched.
So here we have another show, ripping off a classic from yesteryear, being passed off as an original.
It's not Rian!
We all see through you.
"There's a voice that keeps on calling me....."
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Top Gun: Iron Eagle 2 a new hope!
Save yourself the bother of watching this one and watch the original movie it blatantly rips off, Iron Eagle 2.
Or just watch the original Star Wars movie instead
Because this movie is a scene for scene remake of all 3 movies combined.
Not only does IE2 have better acting and a better cast but the dog fight scenes are also much superior.
Both movies have the same plot and practically the same script. The difference between the two is the references to TopGun shoe horned in to Maverick.
It's a nostalgia cash grab that offers nothing new to an audience.
The US navy launch a missle strike on a runway to coincide with the mission.
"Missles are a direct hit. Runway destroyed"
"That will stop them launching fighter planes"
Yet, some how Maverick manages to steal an F-14 Tomcat (the planes used in the original movie. Though why it's there when every other aircraft is an FA -18F I've no idea) and successfully take off from said "destroyed" runway.
Fantasy Island (1998)
Awful.
This show is awful.
The acting.
The scripts.
The casting.
The production.
I'd say 90% of it is filmed in front of a green screen, much like Sanctuary. Unfortunately the production value isn't in the same league as Sanctuary.
It looks like those really bad fake photographs you see on Instagram where someone takes a low res image from the internet and pastes a HD image of themself on to it in an attempt to make people think that they were actually there.
Malcom McDowell is terrible, but that could be down to his very bad script
A 4 year olds school Nativity play is better written AND better acted than this show.
In the original the viewer was always left wondering how it was all possible.
Yet during the pilot episode we're introduced to the fact that Mr Roarke is a heavenly being and his staff are all beings from Purgatory that are trying to gain redemption for killing themselves.
Rick and Morty (2013)
Should've been cancelled after series 4
No longer funny!
It seems that more effort is now being put in to finding movies or TV shows that they can cram the words "Rick" and "Morty" in to rather than the actual storylines for the episodes themselves.
What was once a cleverly thought out show has now become a mash of scenes that look like they were cut from earlier series for not making the grade and then poorly written scenes have been crammed in to attempt to explain it.
There's just no thought in the show anymore.
It seems as if the writers have either no more ideas or they were forced to create more episodes for contractural reasons.
Stop watching at the end of series 4, you'll thank me!
The Terminal List (2022)
I know it's fiction but at least try to get it right
Let me start by saying I LOVE a bit of Alpha male violence in my movies.
In fact, I love a LOT of it.
So when I read that the Terminal list was getting hate and bad reviews by the shill media for not pandering to social terrorism I thought "Oh I'm having a watch at that"
I'm struggling to watch it though.
Not just because the opening first 15 mins of episode 1 is like watching G. O. T series 8 episode 3 while wearing a welding helmet but the inaccuracies are ridiculous.
The SEAL team are in a tunnel system, wearing night vision gear. They are flashing torches all over the place. As if that wasn't enough to blind them all they whip out cutting torches to get through metal grates (while wearing night vision gear).
It's painful enough if someone turns on a house light when you're wearing night gear I can't imagine how much pain you'd be in with cutting gear.
The 'day light' shots aren't as dark as the opening 15 mins but they're not definitely not 'day light'.
It's broad daylight and Chris Pratt sits in an empty Super Hercules with the bay doors wide open and the internal lighting all on and it's like he's in a darkend room with a single reading lamp on.
Lamps in rooms give little to no light at all.
I don't understand why directors do this!
There's absolutely nothing to gain from it.
This could be the greatest TV show ever made but I'll never know cos I switched it off after 30 mins in to episode 1.
Murder in Provence (2022)
Badly writen and badly acted
Set in a France where even those born and raised in the country have Liverpudlian accents and no one speaks French.
We have yet another murder mystery show that is SO obvious I was able to correctly say who the murderer was in the 1st episode within the 1st few minutes.
Inside Job (2021)
Not funny at all
Poorly written.
Sub par animation.
If your attention span is less than 4 seconds then you'll love this show.
I lasted about 2 minutes in to ep 1 and had to switch it off.
What Netflix needs to do is abandon this show and pump the cash into a 4th series of Final Space.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Attempting to milk a long dead cash cow
Where do I begin?
I watched this via a digital feed and it was so bad I almost walked out of my own house.
A hotchpotch of remade scenes and flashbacks from the original trilogy mixed with badly scripted new scenes showhorned in between to try and push a storyline.
No one wanted this movie, no one asked for it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once More, with Feeling (2001)
WTF
An entire episode of singing.
If I wanted singing I'd watch Glee
Give it a miss!
WandaVision (2021)
Oh this is REALLY bad
Having read the premise I wasn't expecting much.
I was expecting more than this.
After 2 mins I simply couldn't take anymore of the canned laughter and had to switch it off.
Yes I get that it's supposed to be them stuck in a sitcom but there's canned laughter every time someone moves or speaks.
And I mean EVERY TIME.
Wanda switches a light on - canned laughter.
Vision gets out of bed - canned laughter
Wanda walks in to shot - canned laughter
Vision turns look at Wanda - canned laughter
The premise is bad but the actual show is AWFUL
Back to Life (2019)
Boring and unfunny
Put this on as Daisy Haggard is normally only in actual comedy shows.
Came to IMDB to find out what the show is actually about.
Teenager gets 18 years in prison for murder?
The longest sentence for a teenager is 12 years.
Even James Bulgers killers only got 8 years.
It's instantly apparent that Miri is going to be the only "normal" person in the entire show.
We get her mother hiding all the knives.
Her father seems to hate anyone younger than himself.
The neighbour has mental health issues making her swear at people.
I actually switched off after 15 mins of episode 1 when Miri got the call regarding her job interview.
The show isn't funny.
The characters and the premise of the show simply aren't believable.
Don't waste your time.
Watch something else
Black Narcissus (2020)
3 of the most boring hours I've ever spent in front of the TV
Thinking of watching this?
DON'T!
In the 1st hour nothing happens.
In the 2nd hour nothing happens.
In the 3rd hour nothing happens.
Switch your TV off and watch the blank screen for 3 hours instead because that has more story, and more excitement than this dross.
The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two (2020)
The woke agenda invades Christmas
This movie is nothing more than a collection of scenes ripped off from successful movies all wrapped up in an awful woke agenda and tied with a big bow of forced inclusion.
Probably the most cringing scene was the conversation between Santa, Mrs Claus, and the 2 children regarding Santa's village.
Santa states he found the location, the Elves built everything and that Mrs Claus decorated a few of the shops.
Suddenly the forced inclusion children ask "If Mrs Claus decorated shops why isn't is called Mrs Claus' Village?" and from then on it's referred to as just that.
Since the Elves built everything why isn't it known as the Elves Christmas village?
Santa has turned in to a moron that can't think for himself because he's a man!
Thinking of watching this on Christmas day then don't.
Watch something good like Arthur Christmas, Elf, or Santa Claus the movie instead.
Hell, even Tommy Wiseau's The Room is better Christmas movie than this.
Enterprise: Unexpected (2001)
Treats male rape as a joke
Trip helps repair an alien warp system and is raped and impregnated by one of the alien crew.
After telling Captain Archer, T'Pol, and the doctor the whole thing is treated as a joke and Trip is ridiculed.
I doubt very much that if it was a storyline where the situation happened to a female character that she'd be laughed at by the crew.
Perfectly highlights the inequalities that men suffer on a daily basis.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Bogus
29 years and this is the best they could come up with?
Alex Winters slips easily back in to playing Bill but Keanu Reeves looks awkward and uncomfortable in his role as Ted.
Ted wears a suit FFS!
The movie completely dumps on the timeline created in BTBJ for the sake of wokeness!
The movie is basically an all female remake of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, centered on Bill and Ted's daughters with Bill and Ted thrown in as an after thought because the studio realised that would be the only way to get people to see it.
Goodbye to the mixed sex, mixed culture "Great ones".
Hello to the all female "Great ones".
Unfortunately George Carlin is no longer with us to be Rufus, although a brief hologram cameo was a nice touch
Obvious the replacement Rufus character has to be female.
The story line is filled with plot holes and lacks all of the clever time travel storyline from Excellent Adventure.
Set in 2020 Bill and Ted have 90 mins to record the song that will unite mankind or reality will cease to exist.
In a mad panic they instantly steal a phonebox (where have we seen that before) and travel to 2022.
The fact reality still exists in 2022 means that they were clearly able to record the song.
Yet for some reason they continue to panic and travel further in time.
Bill and Ted were never what you'd call intelligent but they managed to have original thoughts in the previous 2 movies.
Goodbye to that too.
Because Bill and Ted are no longer capable of doing anything or thinking of anything for themselves.
Every idea in this movie has to come from one of female characters.
And you've probably already guessed who actually writes the song that unites the planet.
Here's a clue:- turns out it wasn't Bill and Ted because only females could ever do that. Men are clearly too stupid.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
If you're a Phan it'll bring tears to your eyes
Having grown up watching these movies, saw the original back in 81 when I was 8, I find it incredibly sad to see Rory looking so frail but saddest of all is what's happened to Reggie.
I know people are calling out for more nut now Rory has passed and Reg Bannister is getting on a bit I think RaVager is a fitting end to saga.
Yes the FX are a bit "Birdemic" at times, but this movie is all about Reggies journey and on going illness. Did every thing happen or was it part of Reggies senility.
Remember the Tall Man say in part 4 "Ice cream man. It's all in his head".
It was nice to see Rocky back again too.
Even Kat Lester makes another appearance as the lady in lavender.
This is one for the die hard Phans, but then I think us Phans are all die hards.
Death in Paradise (2011)
Must be great being a cop on the island
Okay, so the only crime ever commited on the island is murder but at least there's only ever 1 murder at a time and everything is presented in a neat little package so a bow can be tied around it with minimal effort
Hollywood (2020)
Lacks any depth or character development
The characters easily achieve their goals with zero consequence or effort. The bad guys (cos only the men are bad in this show) see the error of their ways and those that don't are simply never mentioned or seen again.
Racism, bigotry, & homophobia are all wiped out by 1 interracial kiss and a heckler put down.
I get that it's an alternative reality story but the reality seems far too simplistic and it's impossible to fail at anything in it.
Thankfully only 7 episodes to watch
The sets \ costumes are good though.
Death in Paradise: La Murder Le Diablé (2020)
Lost its way & following the BBCs agenda
Throughout the show the DI has been a quirky, but instantly likeable oddball.
Unfortunately this isn't the case with Ralf Little's character.
He's annoying and whiney. There's nothing likeable about him.
The writers are trying to be too clever with the plots to the point where I really don't care.
Male characters all being replced with female ones and of course the male characters that remain are suddenly incapable of doing their jobs without female intervention.
Just going through the motions now for contractural reason.
I reckon it's a shoe in for cancellation after the next series.
Another good show killed by the BBC
Dracula (2020)
More of the gender driven rubbish we've come to expect from the BBC
No one involved in this monstrosity has ever read the novel.
There are 3 main protagonists in the Stoker masterpiece: Harker, Van Helsing, and Dracula.
Harker suddenly becomes a vampire.
Van Helsing no longer exists. A new character, female of course, has replaced him.
Dracula has become a total rip off of the deeply unbelievable Satan character from Lucifer. Only with the added bonus of having even less acting ability.
The faster the BBC goes out of business the better!
Cats (2019)
Not sure why people expected this to be good
Given that the original stage version of Cats is complete rubbish I have no idea why anyone would expect a movie version to be any better.
Pennyworth (2019)
Utter Gash! I'd give zero stars if I could.
London, 1960s.
People locked in stocks and hanging from posts in cages.
Vehicles and dress code from the 1920s.
Zeplins fill the skies.
Made purely for the American viewer this show flashes from scene to scene every 10 to 15 seconds.
Normally I'll watch 3 episodes of a new series before I decide to stop watching but this got 25 mins and that was enough.
They might as well not have bothered making this.
Bob Kane would not approve!