richard_markham Reviews

The Man from Toronto (2022)

I had to quit. After 30 mins.

[1/10 · 24 July 2022]

Man oh man, WTF was Woody thinking?

Kevin just drove me insane with his dumb, annoying role.

I assume that at some point something funny actually happens.

Not often that I have to hit STOP just to stop the suffering!

This is just so bad, it is beyond belief that a film this bad got released.

It has no redeeming features, it is just 100% annoying trash.

It was a relief just to exit Netflix.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Dr Strange and the Multiverse of boredom....

[2/10 · 10 May 2022]

Long and boring, like staring into a kaliedoscope for 2 hours...

I actually nodded off at one point, which just goes to show, non-stop CGI and zero plot does not a movie make.

It would probably be a great watch if you were tripping, but it sure wasn't engauging on any level.

Even Cumberbatch was reduced to just doing continual 'straining' facial expressions like he had really really bad constipation.

I guess its just for kids and adults with a similar mental age...

Luckily for us, our local cinema is very cheap!

Giri/Haji (2019)

Anime, Modern Dance, Yakuza, Cockney Gangsters, Love, Sex and Death.

[9/10 · 6 March 2022]

A truely excellent series. It restored my faith in TV production.

Set in London and Tokyo this crime drama encompasses many genres without going woke.

Just a brilliantly written and acted series. Totally engrossing.

Against the Ice (2022)

A stunning true story of survival

[9/10 · 2 March 2022]

It's not easy to convey spending that amount of time waiting for rescue in an hour of film, but this filn does a reasonable job.

To be honest, it's just great to watch a well made film instead of most of the rubbish made these days...

Well worth a watch.

The Hunt (II) (2020)

Bad, just bad. Anyone giving this 10 needs to get a life!

[3/10 · 27 February 2022]

A mash up of several films, completely devoid of any merits.

What was Hilary thinking?

Some people actually rated this drivel 10 out of 10. So I assume they will be shocked it didn't win 5 Oscars... The mind boggles...

Back in the day, this would have been a cheesy B movie but it tries to push some sort of message and fails miserably.

Maybe the writers think they are being clever?

Thank God for decent Netflix series. The movie industry is doomed.

The Power of the Dog (2021)

5 stars for the nice scenery. Otherwise it was a yawnfest.

[5/10 · 10 December 2021]

Some reviewers gave this 10/10, so the best film they have ever seen... Maybe they haven't been out much...

Lots of big homo erotic hints being dropped in an oh so subtle way, not.

I really dont know what they were trying to get at here. It just goes nowhere and the shock ending was also blindingly obvious.

Left me feeling very underwhelmed.

Also left so many questions unanswered. Why is Phil clinging on to the good old days? Why did Rose turn or return to drink? Why did Phil's brother do literally nothing and why did he wear a three piece suit to herd cows?

Man, such a wasted effort. It tippy toes about so many themes when it could have gone in head first and really got down to the nitty gritty.

All in all a pretty pointless film that leaves you felling empty and a bit depressed (and not in a good way).

No Time to Die (2021)

Some nice cars and nice locations. That's it.

[3/10 · 11 October 2021]

First film we've seen since Covid! What a massive let down.

Just a rambling, disjointed series on un-connected set pieces with the touchy feely Bond.

The evil villain was just a joke.

It's no SkyFall thats for sure.

Just so dissapointing.

I Am Wrath (2016)

Wig tastic!

[3/10 · 13 August 2021]

Worth looking at just to see the am-dram style hair piece. I couldn't stop looking at it.

Not a single hair moved despite the many fights.

I just don't know how stuff this bad gets made any more.

Just trash.

Enemy Lines (2020)

How can period films be so bad?

[3/10 · 23 May 2021]

I'm no expert, but when the British HQ are using cold war soviet radio sets, you have to wonder...

Lots of reviews commenting on costume errors too.

The scenes at sea were also laughable. Looked like it was filmed in the bathtub.

Weapons all wrong. No ejecting cases. No recoil. Rates of fire all wrong.

Seriously, why bother?

If you are going to make a period film, why would you not bother to make it accurate? It's not like the plot or script is going to carry the film....

I've seen re-enactments at the local village show do a better job of battle scenes.

Does this film have any saving graces? Errrrm. The snow looked real.

Saving Private Ryan it ain't.

Breach (IV) (2020)

How does this get 2.9?

[1/10 · 23 May 2021]

Not often I can finish a film, but man this one is sooooo bad.

Low budget doesn't have to mean a bad film, but this is so low budget, you have to try really hard not to laugh at the props and sets.

How can any so called professional be involved in making this drivel and feel like they'd done a good job?

If you can last more than 30 mins, you're doing better than me.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Zombie fun!

[7/10 · 21 May 2021]

A great Zombie film. It has some fun movie meta-references, in fact it's worth watching just to count them all up!

All in all, a fun film. Quite a lot better than expected.

None of the cast over acted or hammed it up.

Las Vegas looks suitably post apocalyptic.

Top marks to the CGI teams. Almost seamless.

It's a Zombie film, so don't go looking for a deep and meaningful story.

Leonardo (2021– )

How can anyone rate this as 10???

[3/10 · 19 April 2021]

So a few people rate this as 10 out of 10. The best TV drama they have ever seen.... Blimey.... Have they been living in a cave?

The script is so one dimensional - to go with characters. It's like a school drama.

Even Poldark can't save it.

I am only 2 episodes in and really struggling to keep on going.

This could have been a masterpiece, uncovering the enigma of a man who was hundreds of years before his time, but no. It's like a bad soap.

I assume this was made with the Covid restrictions but even so, it's just so boring and lame.

I can't wait for it to end.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Just watched all the Terminator films ending here. Not impressed.

[5/10 · 29 December 2020]

We didn't see this at the cinema so this viewing, at the end of a Terminator binge fest, was our first.

I had hoped that they might have improved on Genysis. But sadly not.

I can barely remember the film, the day after.

Watching all the films really does show how good the first and second were and that Salvation was too bad either but this one is just a re-hash with no new ideas to bring to the table. Much like the Alien series that get progressivly more tired and pointless.

I don't really understand why they made this, other than to try and wring a last few drops of cash out the franchise.

So many scenes are just repeats of previous films and so many things are just daft. For example, why bother to spend years building an arms cache of weapons that will all be completely usless against your primary opponent??? You might just have well collected a vast selection of pointed sticks and catapults!

Oh well, it's only redeeming feature is good old Arnie and the classic one liners, if you can handle the cheeseyness of it.

The Queen's Gambit (2020)

A whole series about chess? Just shows that stunning programs can still be made!!! Well done Netflix.

[10/10 · 16 November 2020]

Not sure how this is only scoring 8.8. It's a Solid 9.5 - 10.

Totally captivating.

A masterclass in film making.

If I had to make one comment it would be that I would have liked to hear the internal monologue going on in Beth and Borgov's heads during the final match.

A truely great series.

Upload (2020– )

For once I agree with the high scores.

[8/10 · 20 September 2020]

Truely a hidden gem. An interesting mix of sci-fi/romance in the style of Black Mirror but less dark. Just as synical.

It's not often I laugh out loud to anything on Netflix or Prime, but this is really quite funny.

It's not sci-fi as you might expect it, but its very contemporary. Upload your mind to a VR heaven. Sounds great until you can't afford the data plan...

Can't wait for season 2.

Great TV.

Venom (2018)

A great film... If you're six.

[2/10 · 28 August 2020]

I can only assume other reviewers have not seen many films, but regardless, this is truely awful.

It makes Deadpool look like a work of high art.

Just poorly written, plotless, pointless and totally predictable.

Not even Hardy can save it.

So much on Netlix/Prime these days that puts films like this to shame.

Oh well, thank god I didn't pay to see this in a cinema.

The Courier (2019)

I didn't realise they still make films THIS bad...

[1/10 · 23 August 2020]

Man oh man, WTF is this dross.

I mean some idiot rated this 10 - what seriously? The best film they've ever seen? Some people must lead very sheltered lives.

I'm not going to pick it to bits. It's not worth it.

The only thing going for it, is that is does make you laugh out loud from time to time with it's complete sillyness.

I've seen school plays better than this excuse for a film.

Mr Oldman should be ashamed of himself.

Line of Duty (2019)

5.4 score? Really?

[1/10 · 30 June 2020]

How TF do people pay money to make films this bad in 2020?

Can anyone over the age of 6 not see that this film sucks?

How did the Director and Producers sit back and say "Job well done" after putting this steaming pile of effluent out....?

Man it was bad. And not in a good way.

Cringey, Laughably dumb, a truely bad film. Oh well, good job I didn't pay to see it.

Messiah (2020)

Totally addictive!

[10/10 · 9 January 2020]

I don't review much, but this series was amazing. Kept us on the edge of our seats with twists and turns.

Truly captivating TV.

Aquaman (2018)

So exciting, I nodded off....

[3/10 · 18 December 2018]

Not sure what other films people have seen to rate this as anything above 5/10, maybe this was their first trip to the cinema?

Not since one of the last Transformers films have I slipped into a comatose state watching a film.

It started off promising with a bit of humour then went into silliness (giant red eyed ant head man) and then into terminal boredom (vast CGI battle scene - crabs vs sharks or something).

Wonder Woman was a masterpiece in comparison to this...

It was good to Dolph again and Defoe was more wooden than Pinocchio - we both guffawed out loud when he turned up!

Silencer (2018)

Someone actually gave this 9 out of 10????

[1/10 · 22 November 2018]

Man I have seen some bad ***** films on Netflix, but this takes the cake.

Some of the worst dialogue and acting ever.

Plot totally devoid of originality.

How can anyone put a film like this together and then sit back at the end and think job well done... The mind boggles....

If you really don't have anything else to do, like cleaning hair out of the plug hole, emptying the bins or just contemplating mortality, then waste some hours of your life watching this.

I had to finish it just to see how much worse it got.

Altered Carbon (2018–2020)

Epic series! We are addicted to it.

[9/10 · 3 February 2018]

Not read the book, but I will now.

Ignore the reviews that say "why are there bicycles 250 years in the future?" This is great Sci-Fi (read: fiction not prediction FFS!).

I find it amazing that a series can be made that is this engrossing, detailed, well acted, beautifully filmed and yet we still have to watch non stop drivel on the big screen... It puts all the big block buster films to shame.

Netflix can be proud to have put this out.

Yes it will remind you of Blade Runner, The Matrix and numerous other films, but it is a great mix of these and creates it's own world.

It's suitably complex to be unpredictable and you do have to use the wetware occasionally to keep up with whats going on.

It's well balanced with adult content too. Not over the top but not safe either.

Keep it up Netflix!

6 Days (I) (2017)

Not bad, but not accurate.

[8/10 · 4 November 2017]

Forgetting the weird Kate Aide thing, the rest of the film is quite watchable.

The interleaving of original footage and simulated original footage works well.

Not much is shown about the events leading up to the siege.

What spoilt it for me was the inaccuracies with the shooting of the terrorists in the telex room (who had surrendered) and the struggle between PC Trevor Lock and Salim. Also the shooting on the stairs was not correct.

Read here for the details: https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/jul/24/military.features11 For a docudrama it's a shame that the story was changed...

Anyway, a lot better than the usual Hollywood tosh!

Alien: Covenant (2017)

7 out of 10? This should score 3 at best!

[1/10 · 15 May 2017]

I'm not going to reiterate all the bad reviews on here, just to say, thank god our cinema only charges £2.50 a seat! The highlight for me was seeing the JCB logo everywhere in the hold. (yes it's that captivating) Morons from outer space, if the human race has evolved to become so dumb, then I vote with David. Exterminate! Exterminate! I think these space colonists should invest in some Karma drones to go with those 100 year old GoPro cameras they all carry about.

Some shooting lessons wouldn't go amiss either... or some surplus NBC suits...

Last of all, the script writers need some lessons in script writing too.

So this film has absolutely nothing going for it, shame on you Ridley.