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The Amateur (1981)
Don't Bother
It requires a complete suspension of disbelief for the viewer to engage in the baffling circus of events that make up the groaning plot of this film. Savage is a CIA cryptanalyst who upon the murder of his girlfriend in Munich decides to blackmail his employer into allowing him to carry out a reckless revenge plot in Czechoslovakia with a .45 and some plastic explosives. The government, who refuses to negotiate with the terrorists for his girlfriend's life at the beginning of the film, rolls over with hardly a grumble to Savage's demands and simply trains him for his "mission." Once he has received a good day or two of training, he eloquently tells them he is done -- he "would flunk out anyway" by golly. So without hesitation they send him into the abyss, because... well he told 'em to. Mr. Bean, or Inspector Clueso, would have been less obtrusive than the snaggly brown toothed "amateur" spy carrying out this spoiled-boy spree of hapless chaos. He spends nearly every scene (literally) running through the streets of eastern Europe and -shouting- corny English expressions to his equally incompetent female associate. He couldn't stand out more if he had CIA written in red paint on his face. You will be hard pressed to remain awake for the action, but that is okay because there simply isn't much of it to be had. What started as an interesting premise, logic aside, turns into a dreary romp that gets more boring with each turn. If you survive to the end you will be equally baffled by the inept and abrupt conclusion. I'm certain Lindsy Lohan has written better scripts than this on her blackberry after imbibing several bottles of raspberry Vodka. Don't waste your time.
Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)
A Werewolf Country-Musical!?
A toe tappin', leg slappin' werewolf hoedown! The acting in this movie is 3rd rate (at best) -- not to mention it is practically a "musical." There was more bad country music in this film than in a Russian cowboy bar at happy hour. The plot is overly slow, there was no suspense or terror, and it simply doesn't logically flow into a cohesive whole. It even contains loosely tied together footage from previous Howling films, which only seem to resolve themselves into a self contradictory knot of nonsense. It's on my personal list of the worst films of all time, and I feel dumber just for having sat through it in it's entirety. Please don't ever watch this, if you do you may never watch another Howling flick again. You'd probably do better drinking a pint o' antifreeze, you ken?
Zombie Cult Massacre (1998)
Troma Look Out!
If you love Troma flicks, you will love this film! The viewer should consider first that the intent of the movie is to mock both culture and the genera, and at that it does an _excellent_ job! The "cheap" Blair Witch feel and mountains of gore will have you rolling with laughter and squirming with disgust.
Since this was filmed around the Cincinnati area, I had the unique opportunity of seeing a sneak peek back in college. Ever since I obtained that first rough-cut preview from a friend, I spent a lot of time looking for the final version of the movie for my collection. Only recently did I manage to obtain it, and I am still impressed. The imagery of granola hippy zombies and ultra right-wing religious zealots continue to delight me as it will fans of this type of cult hit.
Also check out "Redneck Zombies".
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Rob Zombie Does It Again!
This film, without a doubt, brings back the grit and terror of the great horror flicks of the 1970s. The scenes evoke the brutal slasher feel of cult hits like Texas Chainsaw and Hills Have Eyes (Michael Berryman is even in it!). It also has an interesting message, just watch how your emotional reaction changes through the film. In my theater you could feel the gasps change to adulation, as the role of victim and victimizer dramatically shift. Where once you felt revulsion, you then feel excitement. Zombie's message is clear, our bloodlust is just as strong as that of the psychopaths on the screen -- we just have a different perspective on who should be on the receiving end. For a horror fan, this is a must see.
House of 9 (2005)
Awesome Ending!
Dennis Hopper brings a unique angle to every film he stars in, and this is no exception. His persona is a great fit! Some have bashed this film for poor acting on the part of the mostly green cast, but their fresh faces actually give the viewer a better personal connection with them. The writing is over the top. This is not an action flick, nor is it your average psychological thriller. It doesn't fit cleanly into the "horror" genre either. It's really about the beast in all of us, and what we get for our "reward". There are some tedious moments, cultural stereotypes, and bad editing. Without saying too much, the ending of this movie makes the entire thing "not suck". Watch it.