sickwix Reviews

Malignant (I) (2021)

High-fueled stand out

[8/10 · 11 September 2021]

James Wan, the master of his craft; I'm convinced he is incapable of making anything insufficiently.

Albeit this film felt like a melting pot of styles and clichés, an amalgam of composites that should not work together, it somehow homogenizes itself effortlessly. There's an uncertainty in the film's trajectory, yet its congruence of arbitration just made sense. Well, oxy my moron.

There were a lot of signature Wan moments that I appreciated inordinately; stellar Bishara score and immaculately composed lighting. Conversely, anyone who is a set-design junkie will appreciate its finessed splendor indeed.

Amidst the pervasive plethora of modern garbage it's certainly a stand-out; high-fueled fun which scores considerably on the rewatchability scale.

Secrets of the Morgue (2018– )

Decent show, BUT

[6/10 · 18 August 2021]

Please, for the love of Forensics, FIRE this narrator. What in the actual robotics is her voice? None of the producers noticed this glaring problem?

Other than that, this show is decent.

Tell Me Your Secrets (I) (2021)

Convoluted Nap

[4/10 · 22 April 2021]

Unpopular opinion, but the score is just about the only thing that saves this vapid snoozefest of a mess.

Also, if users here could post actual reviews again instead of getting offended that everyone isn't sharing your opinion that would be great. YOU'RE SO 2021.

Up and Vanished (2019– )

Atrocious

[3/10 · 25 March 2021]

These amateur "investigators" have about as much personality as a cardboard box. These two ACTUALLY have a podcast and a show?

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

I would like my 4 hours back please

[4/10 · 12 February 2021]

I've grown beyond weary of this hackneyed stylization so typical of the modern crime doc, this one is no exception as it is generously served on a trendy platter via slow-mo dramatizations scored by violent violin strings.

This doc could have and should have been abridged to an hour- it is tediously and unnecessarily drawn out. Any decent and relevant information is obliterated via the obnoxious glorification of YouTubers' theories; which incidentally you can watch all of that on... well, YouTube.

Criminal Minds (2005– )

Cringe with a side of CORNBALL

[4/10 · 8 February 2021]

This show has managed to take the ominous subject of crime and strangle it to a death of cornball acting and cheesy dialogue.

The high ratings here are absolutely confounding to me.

The Affair (2014–2019)

Uneventful NAP

[4 February 2021]

Seriously... How did they get away with making FIVE seasons of this absolute SNOOZEFEST?

You keep watching, not because it's great but because you keep waiting for something (ANYTHING) to actually happen... to justify this overrated NAP. But nothing EVER happens.

You'll be far more entertained watching paint dry than enduring these unlikeable and tediously boring characters.

The Undoing (2020)

Banality with a side of "meh"

[4/10 · 17 November 2020]

What a shameful buffet of "A list" actors hammering their way through a lifelessly dull and amateur screenplay.

Whoever describes this as "riveting" should run themselves through the dishwasher like a murder weapon.

This series is beyond flawed through the complete void of character development; I could not possibly care less about any of these people... let alone the chick who showed up for a hot second in the premiere and got axed.

Spare yourself from this utterly painful NAP.

American Woman (2018)

Snoozefest with a side of meh

[4/10 · 15 August 2020]

This film was just bad; anticlimactic lifeless banality.

Skip it. You'll have more fun watching paint dry.

Little Fires Everywhere (2020)

Absolute dreck

[4/10 · 10 August 2020]

A 7.8 for this low-hanging fruit makes me lose hope in humanity. I never read the book so my ridicule is not based upon that comparison.

Kerry Washington's "I smell something funky" snarl is just unbearable.

The absolute horrendous soundtrack spewing "trendy" crap remakes of classics was just obnoxious.

Hiring younger actors in the flashback scenes was so distracting and completely unnecessary- they looked and acted NOTHING like Reese or Kerry and it was like watching a different series entirely.

Unsolved Mysteries (2020– )

Snoozefest with a side of meh

[4/10 · 27 July 2020]

For any of you who sat through the cringeworthy, overdramatized and painfully slow series "Cold Case Files" you will find this series to be an absolute carbon copy of prolix dreckitude.

Void of narration homogenized with tediously long tales of "get to the point", this drowsy series successfully manages to NOT pay any homage to the original series.

I think they were going for "edgy and brooding" here but failed miserably.

Conversely, of all the unsolved mysteries in history THESE are the stories they chose to open a reboot? Most of the episodes' cases appear to be solved, they just didn't arrest the guilty party.

Inheritance (I) (2020)

A for ATROCIOUS

[4/10 · 26 July 2020]

The ONLY reason this absolute atrocity deemed 4 stars from me was through Simon Pegg's performance. Lily Collins was absolute dreck in this ridiculous blunder. The anorgasmic "twist" was blatantly obvious within the first hour of this bloody mess. Do yourself a favor and don't waste a moment of your precious life on this absolute rubbish of a plot.

Bloodline (2015–2017)

Absolute SNOOZEFEST

[3/10 · 29 April 2020]

I gave this series a second chance after struggling to get through the first episode upon its release; it's so inordinately boring and unfortunately it doesn't improve. The characters are lifelessly dull and boring as all HELL, the plot is "meh" in a sea of more "meh". I kept hoping something intriguing "enough" transpired before I completely gave up on this absolute NAP.

I lose faith in the entertainment community when such banality is given 8 stars.

The Murder of Laci Peterson (2017)

Slick and Stylish

[8/10 · 31 March 2020]

Straight, to-the-point, factual and fascinating. I seriously wish all crime docs could be of this caliber.

Albeit stellar and impeccably edited, I found myself so annoyed by Scott defenders. Seriously, if you believe him to be innocent, who the hell did it then??

I hadn't known much of this story, so I was curious to watch this and it did not disappoint.

The Cheshire Murders (2013 TV Movie)

Inordinately Dull

[4/10 · 30 March 2020]

Such a revolting and heinous crime completely disserviced by the most lifeless and disjointed documentary.

This long and anticlimactic snoozefest is all over the place, jumping from here to there with no meat in any of the interviews.

This story holds inordinate potential for a stellar and in-depth documentary, but this one falls completely flat.

ER (1994–2009)

Void of soul but watchable

[6/10 · 7 March 2020]

The characters are vapid and entirely void of personality. The nurses are straight up whiny and unattractive hags, constantly complaining with never even an offering of witty banter or quirk to make them likable.

The storylines, or lack thereof, carry such little weight. Never a cliffhanger, never a "can't wait to see what happens next" moment.

The first three Seasons are quite possibly the worst- Season 4 however picks up with a lot more edge and wit.

Candy Corn (2019)

A for ATROCIOUS

[29 September 2019]

You could rub this film with 40-grit sandpaper and it's still a flaccid, trite and underwhelming piece of crap.

Independent films don't get a hall pass JUST for being low budget; indie horror should BLEED the passion of the filmmaker.

The score was decent but inordinately disjointed from the scenes it paralleled...

Horror Convention Celebs couldn't save this snoozefest...

Blah blah blah, I could go on and on but that would take time away from watching truly great horror films, to which "Candy Corn" is the antithesis of.

Cold Case Files (2017– )

Great for the mystery, yet cringeworthy

[8/10 · 24 September 2019]

I enjoy this program for its intensity in mystery build-up; the cinematography is also stellar.

Albeit some cringeworthy elements; the cheesy over-dramatization, the snail-like "get to the point" pacing and Danny Glover's inordinately irritating and incomprehensible narration, the show is more than decent and worthy of any true crime lover.

Unbelievable (2019)

Stellar acting, a drama worth the watch with one major flaw

[8/10 · 16 September 2019]

I love crime drama, I would never normally watch one of this particular subject but so glad I did. Truly well written with an incredibly believable and stellar cast.

Winding down to the last episodes were irritating however; she totally turned this around on the police, like it was THIER fault that she lied (but didn't lie) about being raped. Regardless of the trauma she endured she clearly stated that she fabricated the entire thing, how was the detective to know? The lies were entirely her fault to which she deserved no apology, as she so rudely requested (as well as monetary compensation). For lying?

Other than that climactic let down, it was really pretty great. I would love more seasons of this series diving into various criminal cases.