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Psychomania (1973)
Fun 1970s horror
This movie was probably too much fun to watch. Sure the pacing was a little slow. Sure the graphics are a level of dated that I never thought possible. Sure its frog-worshiping, death-defying antics are laughable. But it's laughable. A biker gang systematically committing mass suicide to return as invincible superhuman zombies so that they can terrorize marketplaces and local bars is, to say the least, a ton of fun to watch. I would recommend this to anyone regardless of its timely technical difficulties.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
Astonishingly bad
First and foremost, I adore both the Alien and Predator franchises. The first AVP was garbage outside of a stretch of 10 minutes where we saw the fighting that we paid to see. But the hybrid creature that burst from the Predator's chest at the end? Enticing cliffhanger. What happens when you crossbreed a perfect killing machine that sulks in the shadows without being seen, with the perfect hunting creature that hides in the trees? Apparently you get a big lizard hellbent on smashing his head against literally everything in sight. The characters are garbage, the plot is garbage, it's a technically bad movie in every sense of the word, but primarily it's an over-the-top gorefest without any of the fun attached. Good god, this movie is unwatchable. Especially if you enjoy either of the two bastardized franchises.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Style over substance
I desperately want to like Anderson's filmography, but movies like this make it increasingly difficult. It's flashy and colorful, sure, but exclusively in the visual sense. The characters are lacking in every department, the acting is passable, and the movie itself lacks any sort of depth or character. The plot trudges along over its two-hour run-time with no direction or destination in mind. The man singing Bowie in Portuguese, I believe, was a nice touch. Overall, it's a weak, yet visually striking and unique movie abundant in overqualified actors as underdeveloped characters shuffling along an underwhelming plot.
Teeth (2007)
Sloppy B-movie body horror with a great message
Though the feminism, homages, minute jokes (banana split sign), and environmentalism are greatly appreciated, they are not enough to salvage this movie from the crippling restraints set upon it by its low budget. If this hadn't been a B-movie, perhaps the additional funding could've given the themes a strong foundation to make a real cultural impact, but unfortunately a movie about a woman taking control of her sexuality and gaining confidence in it will more than likely remain a cult classic without any real cultural impact, regardless of its obvious potential importance. Loved the message, but the execution was sloppy B-movie horror with all of the pitfalls that traditionally come with it.