saintorr Reviews

The Artist (I) (2011)

Why do people think this film is so good?

[3/10 · 19 February 2012]

I haven't posted a review on IMDb for a long while but I feel I need to post a comment on this movie.

All the reviews I have read suggest this is a certainty for a big Oscar haul and it almost swept the board at the Baftas.

I don't get it. The film had nothing new to say and for long spells I was bored.

Dujardin looks good and he can dance, Bejo looks great and can really dance but these performances can't justify all the enthusiasm surrounding this movie.

If you have seen "Singin' in the Rain" and "Sunset Boulevard" (and I'm certain you have), don't waste your time on The Artist. It tries to tell the same story as these classics without the charm.

Apollo 18 (2011)

Remarkably poor movie

[4 September 2011]

Had a couple of hours to kill yesterday so went to watch Apollo 18. What a terrible mistake.

I hadn't read any reviews but the trailer looked interesting. Why do I keep falling for that trap? This was an absolute stinker of a film with absolutely no redeeming features. The storyline was simply ridiculous, the plot was riddled with holes, the acting was one dimensional and the thing was so badly filmed that it was difficult to watch.

What this looked like was a student film that had been put together at the last second by a slacker student who hadn't been to a class all year.

Stinker and I wish IMDb would allow me to give it zero out of ten.

The King's Speech (2010)

Likable but shallow

[7/10 · 9 January 2011]

I enjoyed this film but apart from Geoffrey Rush's fine acting and some amusing snippets of dialogue, it did not strike me as an Oscar contender.

The film covers the period between the end of the reign of George V and the early days of George VI (Colin Firth).

Firth plays Prince Albert ("Bertie" who later took the name of George on his coronation) as a character demanding our sympathy. A young man struck by a debilitating stammer from childhood who was never expected to become king.

Apart from the speeches, which are part of the historical record, all the dialogue comes from the writer's imagination. Not in itself a bad thing but some of the exchanges appeared unlikely.

Go and see by all means but don't expect to remember it a few days later.

Edited 28 February 2011: Shows how much I know!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

A film that lives up to its hype

[8/10 · 6 September 2010]

I don't know anything about comic books and it must be over 20 years since I last put away my Megadrive so I don't expect I fitted the film's demographic. I don't care.

I thought this movie was original, funny and exciting and I left the theatre with a huge smile on my face. Thanks to all involved for giving me a big dollop of cheerful escapism.

Pilgrim is a slacker who is destined to go through life "between jobs" and the film records some of the trials and tribulations he faces while trying hard not to grow up.

Forget about the plot - there isn't one to speak of, just enjoy the original way that sound and visual effects overlay the film in a way that threatens to get out of hand.

Some funny lines too.

Loved it.

Inception (2010)

Dreary, over-hyped nonsense aka : "Style Over Substance"

[2/10 · 8 August 2010]

I am fascinated by the range of opinions people have about this film and I am astonished that people have rated it highly. Some people have even suggested this is one of the top 5 films of all time. Bizarre.

What Inception really reminded me of was the Emporer's New Clothes. If enough people say something is great a lot of others are likely to be swept along by the idea, frightened to go against popular opinion. Well I'm glad that a lot of people have been honest enough to say that this film is not half as good as the marketing department would have us believe.

The latest I heard from the pluggers was the film has to be seen more than once to appreciate it. Ha! Good try guys but I can't imagine anyone being prepared to give this another try.

The script made no sense and the characters were unbelievable. Worst of all, I felt no attachment for any of the characters and did not care what happened to them.

In my opinion, this is a meaningless, uninspired waste of time. Unoriginal idea, weak script, insipid acting, plot and logic holes galore do not add up to a blockbuster. The film gets 4 marks for the impressive CGI but loses 2 of those for the derivative James Bond sequence.

The lady to my left spent the last two hours sound asleep. I was very jealous of her.

Skeletons (2010)

A Hidden Gem

[8/10 · 11 July 2010]

I hope as many people as possible are given the opportunity to see this gem of an independent movie from a first time director. This is further proof that you do not need a massive budget or international superstars to make a genuinely interesting film that challenges and entertains at the same time.

Someone told me this week that it is easier to get a film made than to get a film distributed. I don't know if this is true or not but I am delighted that people cared enough to get this film made and screened.

Nothing about this film is conventional and it is difficult to describe it without giving too much away but imagine "Men in Black" made by Charlie Kaufman. Or "Don't Look Now" made by Terry Gilliam. That might give you some idea.

We all have skeletons in our cupboards and these are the "Skeletons" referenced in the film's title. Don't expect crucifix-wielding exorcisms but prepare for a refreshing, intelligent suggestion of how people could look at their lives.

This film is not perfect but is certainly worth searching out.

Robin Hood (2010)

What is the point of this movie?

[1/10 · 16 May 2010]

I really resent having to pay money to watch a second rate prequel.

Didn't anyone from the studio see the final cut before release? What were they thinking about? Come on guys, a little historical research (even for a fantasy film like this) wouldn't have done any harm.

This movie was a collection of nonsense from start to finish. OK, Robin Hood is a character from fiction and story tellers are at liberty to use this character as they wish but surely some historical context or realism are necessary to allow the suspension of belief?

The French landing did not happen.

Magna Carta is an important part of our history and should not be messed around like this.

Don't get me started on the geographical screw-ups. Do the film makers have any idea how far it is from Nottingham to the South Coast? Or where the White Horse is? Idiots.

But it is only a movie and I have been happy to sit through other films that have mangled history to a worse extent than this, so what was wrong?

EVERYTHING!

The script, the absence of plot, ludicrous casting, bizarre accents, poor lighting and cinematography, inaudible dialogue (thanks), unexplained background characters and hours and hours and hours of nothing happening all add up to a momentous car crash of a movie.

Did I mention it was derivative? It stole the best parts of the Robin Hood legend, Saving Private Ryan, the Disney animated classic and Braveheart and wasted them.

Do not waste your time on this or the inevitable sequel.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Not The Worst Night I've Ever Had At The Cinema - how's that for praise?

[4/10 · 2 May 2010]

I was such a big fan of the original movie and had been looking forward to this sequel for a while. Sadly this effort just didn't live up to expectations.

That is not to say the movie is terrible or boring but it just missed something.

Downey Jr, Rourke, Rockwell, Paltrow and Johansson performing together should have added up to something great but unfortunately it just added up to something that was OK.

Hard to identify a single flaw but I got the impression that the film makers started off with a project that was just too ambitious (a cynic might describe it as a project that was too poorly defined).

Some of the plot leaps, clunky dialogue and vanishing characters made me think a lot of material had been cut and gaps had been filled with hasty re-shoots.

Go and see this by all means. You will probably enjoy it but it really could have been so much more enjoyable.

Kick-Ass (2010)

Didn't Work

[3/10 · 18 April 2010]

Had looked forward to seeing this movie but was really disappointed.

It seemed to me that the makers didn't know what they were trying to create: a teen-comedy? a comic-based actioner? an uber-violent fable? None of these worked.

I thought all the characters did their stuff well: Nicolas Cage and, of course, Chloe Moretz were fun to watch but the in the end, the overall package was well short of satisfactory.

Others might disagree but I felt very uncomfortable watching a 10 year old girl being beaten up (quite realistically) on screen. Maybe this film wasn't intended for fathers of ten year old girls?

Ratatouille (2007)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 22 October 2007]

Watched this my children (11 and 13) as a "treat". Sorry kids!

I have been a big fan of Pixar from day one, but this movie just didn't work. Without a doubt the animation was excellent but where was the storyline, the characterisation and (sadly) the laughs?

The strength of movies of the calibre of Toy Story is that within moments the audience forgets it is watching CGI and gets wrapped up in the story and characters. With Ratatouille the sole strength is the CGI.

I would have much preferred to watch a movie with OK animation that had an interesting plot but here all the energy had been put into making rat fur look realistic.

Gets 4 out of 10 for being visually stunning and beautifully executed. Would have grabbed a 10 if the script and characterisation had been up to expected Pixar standards.

The Departed (2006)

Perfect

[10/10 · 9 October 2006]

The perfect ensemble delivering believable dialogue in a marvellously photographed movie. What more can you ask for £6? I was a little nervous going to this film (I still haven't got over Gangs of New York, which IMHO was a shadow of the film it should have been). Could Marty serve up a spectacle that matched the hype? Would he be able to corral the all-star cast while still allowing enough artistic freedom? Would Jack chew every single scene to shreds? The answers to these questions is an unequivocal YES, YES, YES.

I loved every minute of it and was wrong-footed more than once by the surprise plot twists. What could have been a very predictable good cop/bad cop movie was lifted to Oscar favourite status by sublime direction and a rich screenplay that will, I'm sure, become every bit as quotable as Goodfellas in the years to come.

DiCaprio and Damon are fantastic as the hunters/hunted. DeCaprio has one brilliant scene in particular where the stress of living the undercover life is obvious in his nervous twitches but the Oscar will surely go to Jack Nicholson. He overplays his role to perfection and effortlessly dominates every scene. He plays a perverted psychotic killer who clearly enjoys his job but it's still our Jack and I couldn't help smiling as he revelled in his g(l)ory.

Mark Wahlberg also deserves a special mention - haven't seen him do anything half as good as this before.

Go and see this film and expect to be entertained.

The Queen (2006)

Please Understand: This Is A Work Of Fiction

[2/10 · 18 September 2006]

I'm very worried that some people might think this movie is a faithful depiction of recent history.

IT IS NOT.

What we have is a series of set pieces where some fairly good actors deliver lines of fiction. I am no apologist for the Royal Family but I am concerned that people may watch this film and, mistakenly, think they are being allowed to see what goes on behind the scenes at the Royal palaces and Downing Street. This is simply not the case.

The news reels are true and the beauty of the Scottish scenery is true but the rest is just made up. No one knows what the Queen and the Prime Minister discussed after Di's death and I would have preferred this to have been made clear at the start of the movie.

It struck me that the film was target at the US audience who watched this unfold at a distance. That may explain some of the clunky dialogue: Tony Blair: "Who is he?" Assistant (holding phone): "He's the Lord Chancellor - you're on your way to meet him at the airport." Come on. Massive signpost anyone?

Viewers outside the UK may not know that the Stephen Frears/Michael Sheen partnership have been seen before in a very successful UK television drama where Sheen played the part of Blair. Just because someone can do a decent impersonation of the British prime minister does not appear adequate justification for making a 97 minute film.

As I left the cinema I tried to work out why the film had been made. Couldn't come up with a single good reason.

Serenity (2005)

Great fun

[8/10 · 10 October 2005]

Serenity has just been released in the UK and I was lucky enough to catch it last night. I didn't see Firefly (in fact, I'm not even sure it was shown in the UK) so I can't comment on how the movie matches up with the TV series. I didn't feel my pleasure was in any way diminished by my lack of prior knowledge and I don't think you will either.

This is a good old fashioned space-western that is great fun from start to finish. The characterisation and FX are excellent but, in my opinion, the script writer deserves a big hand. Some of the dialogue was very sharp and enjoyable.

Do yourself a favour and see this while you can. Escapism at its best.

Broken Flowers (2005)

Pure indulgence (...and not in a good way)

[3/10 · 5 October 2005]

Saw this last night at a free preview and I'm glad I didn't have to pay for my tickets.

Nothing happens for the first 20 minutes and then nothing keeps on happening for the next 2 hours. Dull, dull, dull.

Jim Jarmusch obviously created this film as a Bill Murray vehicle - I love Bill Murray and all his works but come on! The point of watching BM is watching him underplay his role and steal scenes by standing still or making the smallest movement while surrounded by chaos. This trick only works if his laconic style is in counterpoint to the rest of the action. In this film there is NO action. Nothing happens.

BM's character, for reasons too boring to relate here, visits four old girlfriends so we get to see him riding in a lot of cars and sitting in a lot of airplanes again and again and again.

There are plenty of other good movies out right now so you should be able to avoid this without too much trouble.

Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)

Kooky, Quirky, Worrying

[6/10 · 20 September 2005]

I feel a little guilty that I enjoyed this movie so much. I was totally absorbed by the story and loved how it looked. Every character was believable and engaging and the plot moved along at just the right pace.

The story is simple and is told with a lot of charm. John Hawkes has never been better and this role allowed him to show that he can carry hurt, humour, anger and comedy equally well. We are going to see a lot of him in the future.

I hadn't seen Miranda July before - I found her kookiness appealing but it would have been nice if some of the "performance" could have been turned down a notch or two.

Everyone will love little Brandon Ratcliff - if they were casting for Cute Kid Number 1, they made the perfect choice.

So why the worry? Well it didn't really strike me until I had left the cinema but I think the movie went too far along the voyeuristic path. We didn't have to see under age girls practise "Jimmy Ha-Ha" or see the pretentious gallery director engage in online sex talk with a six year old.

Miranda, I hope the next time you stick with kooky and leave out the creepy.

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Awful

[1/10 · 8 August 2005]

This movie was a huge disappointment. What started out as a fun idea turned into an overlong, predictable, sentimental bore. There was enough here to sustain a perfectly acceptable trailer but certainly not enough for a two hour (TWO HOUR!!) summer blockbuster.

What possessed Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn and the normally brilliant Christopher Walken to associate themselves with this rubbish? There simply were not enough laughs in this disjointed time waster.

Will Owen get the girl? Will Vince punch out the bully? What do you think?

Avoid at all costs.