This movie has a great cast, good looking people who can act. The campfire scene in the beginning sets up characters nicely, with understandable dialogue and the viewer quickly gets to know the protagonists sufficiently. Unfortunately that's everything the film has going for it. First of all it's simply too hard to watch with the constantly shaking and zooming camera. The editing is so erratic, immersion can never happen for the audience. I was looking forward to see how they solved the logistical and continuity problems that would arise from the preposterous premise, bomb vests which transfer remaining time to anyone who kills the wearer, since I am a big fan of the Saw franchise. But given the bad camera work I'd rather read the story than watch this.
Reviews
23 Reviews
The Walking Dead: World Beyond
(2020–2021)
Enough Already!
6 October 2020
Mumbled words (bad acting), shaky camera (bad directing), boring story (bad script), no screen presence characters (bad casting), annoying score (bad producer), still old cgi gore effects (bad visuals).
Congratulations, this turd sandwich has it all. They should have stopped making this after the umteenth hostage situation in the first series. Fear started strong but went the same way, World does not even try in the pilot. Is it still make-up people doing this?
The Old Guard
(2020)
Unwatchable
12 July 2020
This B-movie directed by an amateur has a horrible soundtrack you only will find pleasing when you never had the chance to develop a taste.
The super star you love from Fury Road has a boyish haircut that makes her even more unlikable than a missing limb and baldness.
One of the opening scenes is her (Charlize Theron's) buddies betting on her being able to name the ingredients of a piece of pastry she eats. Who cares? Not me. Does it do something for the plot, story, or character development? Of course not. There is no meaningful dialogue either. Nothing makes the viewer want to find out why these people have Wolverine's healing powers.
Here is a tip for making a scene believable: When a crew of mercenaries gets shot down in an ambush and starts moving again in a room full of enemies, one will notice. And a lot of gory head shooting would ensue. Not a melee dominated by wonky pseudo martial-arts, which unfortunately was depicted.
Not even an extra star due to production value for this hot garbage.
The super star you love from Fury Road has a boyish haircut that makes her even more unlikable than a missing limb and baldness.
One of the opening scenes is her (Charlize Theron's) buddies betting on her being able to name the ingredients of a piece of pastry she eats. Who cares? Not me. Does it do something for the plot, story, or character development? Of course not. There is no meaningful dialogue either. Nothing makes the viewer want to find out why these people have Wolverine's healing powers.
Here is a tip for making a scene believable: When a crew of mercenaries gets shot down in an ambush and starts moving again in a room full of enemies, one will notice. And a lot of gory head shooting would ensue. Not a melee dominated by wonky pseudo martial-arts, which unfortunately was depicted.
Not even an extra star due to production value for this hot garbage.
Witches in the Woods
(2019)
Solid Scary Stuff
28 August 2019
This movie has a minimum of magic, and leaves room to argue there is no magic at all. But it really looks like the crew of college kids are in trouble with the supernatural, and it's fun to watch and never boring.
So, pace is great. Acting is great. Casting is fine too the people are all reasonably pleasant to look at, but are not unbelievably beautiful. Which means the viewer can focus on the story.
The story is constructed well, nothing too original but that doesn't mean it's bad. There are barely any moments of overly dumbness, which would be normal for the genre. The plot holes are far and few in between.
I would have wished for some closure. But maybe there is a sequel which would be awesome. I rate 8 stars because the couple of jump scares and overall spooky atmosphere was spot on and I was entertained throughout the whole thing. <3
So, pace is great. Acting is great. Casting is fine too the people are all reasonably pleasant to look at, but are not unbelievably beautiful. Which means the viewer can focus on the story.
The story is constructed well, nothing too original but that doesn't mean it's bad. There are barely any moments of overly dumbness, which would be normal for the genre. The plot holes are far and few in between.
I would have wished for some closure. But maybe there is a sequel which would be awesome. I rate 8 stars because the couple of jump scares and overall spooky atmosphere was spot on and I was entertained throughout the whole thing. <3
Native Son
(2019)
I'd skip the book too.
8 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is not how you make a good movie and here is why. First off the protagonist is hard to get into, is he a punk or appreciative of the fine arts, is he a bicycle man or a driver, is he a hard ass or a lover? The story telling could not decide, there was evidence for everything. There is no way a broad audience can root for a scrawny, talent free nobody who's sense of humor is defined by holding a dead rat to his sister's face. The second big mistake, two thirds into the movie a main character dies. That's like eating a meal and half-way through someone takes away your side and says go ahead, eat up it's art now. At that point in the film it is safe to fast forward, skipping pathetic conversations the pot head fake-glasses-wearing hero has, with his bathroom sex jealous instead of happy for him girlfriend. And lastly, the probably biggest flaw of this "story". The plot was non-existent. Things happen, but none of them are intertwined. There is no structure, events just happen without connection, other than the time-line. Where are the scenes of importance you remember when interesting plot-twists happen? Where is the build-up? Character development? "Native Son" is not that kind of movie. "Native Son" is a bad movie. 3 stars for production value.
Wildlife
(2018)
Warning: Gyllenhaal is not the lead here
2 January 2019
We see a boring family break apart from the perspective of the young boy. End of story. Safe to say there is no story, but there could easily have been one. Clearly the father is the most interesting character in "Wildlife". Being fired from a job that is not that good in the first place, he retains some of his pride and self-respect by refusing an offer to go back to that kind of work, an offer from the very same people who discarded him before. Instead he shows everybody and himself what it means to work hard, for little money, and do some good in the process. That is the story that should have been explored, not the son's take on things who, admittingly, acts admirable in the face of adversity, but is just not very interesting as a human being. Maybe it would have helped if the actor had any screen presence, or would have even remotely looked like his parents, for believability. Acting is great, from everybody in the film. Setting is awesomely done, camera work is fine. Score is not memorable, but that might be because the pace of the movie is so off, considering there was nothing to tell.
The Predator
(2018)
"Long story short"
28 November 2018
Unlike the clueless reviewer who I quoted in the headline, I will not proceed to write 5 paragraphs of meaningless drivel about a movie I hate.
Usually all of the AvP movies, Alien, Predator and the cross overs are at least a solid 7. Of course the original Alien trilogy as well as Predator 1, 2 and even Predators stand out as being very original. The difference between the originals and the spin-offs is clearly the tone they set. In this movie we get a comic book style presented, with by no means bad CGI (dogs looked more real than in Predators for example), a secret research conspiracy, and charismatic heroes getting slaughtered (or not, no spoilers). Just like in the graphic novels, the pace is neck breaking. The ending felt almost rushed, to introduce the new Predator Killer Weapon. It is understandable how regular movie goers are put off by the constant over-stimulation, but I would not want it any other way. The action is over the top, definitely. But there was great attention to detail how the action scenes played out exactly, as opposed to lesser action films in which a flurry of cuts leaves a thinking audience just confused about what just happened.
Sure, I would have loved a darker vibe throughout the film too, especially in the beginning the score reminded a little of a Disney orchestra playing. But "The Predator" was a hell of a ride and deserves a special place among the spin-offs.
Usually all of the AvP movies, Alien, Predator and the cross overs are at least a solid 7. Of course the original Alien trilogy as well as Predator 1, 2 and even Predators stand out as being very original. The difference between the originals and the spin-offs is clearly the tone they set. In this movie we get a comic book style presented, with by no means bad CGI (dogs looked more real than in Predators for example), a secret research conspiracy, and charismatic heroes getting slaughtered (or not, no spoilers). Just like in the graphic novels, the pace is neck breaking. The ending felt almost rushed, to introduce the new Predator Killer Weapon. It is understandable how regular movie goers are put off by the constant over-stimulation, but I would not want it any other way. The action is over the top, definitely. But there was great attention to detail how the action scenes played out exactly, as opposed to lesser action films in which a flurry of cuts leaves a thinking audience just confused about what just happened.
Sure, I would have loved a darker vibe throughout the film too, especially in the beginning the score reminded a little of a Disney orchestra playing. But "The Predator" was a hell of a ride and deserves a special place among the spin-offs.
A Quiet Place
(2018)
Works for a normal audience, not for critical thinkers
27 June 2018
Almost an 8 on imdb with almost 14 hundred reviews at the point of this review written. The hype is distorting the ratings of this movie, like the script is distorting the physical laws of sound.
A creature film should not be hard to make, and the producers here had the budget, the special effects and the actors to do something interesting. Unfortunately suspending disbelief is impossible when nothing makes sense and so many questions are left unanswered.
How can a pitiful monster like that overthrow mankind? Where is the power coming from? Not a single sound trap in the whole film? Did she turn off the faucet eventually? The creatures can come and go inside the shelter without breaking anything down (which you would hear)? But the humans did not prepare silent exits in their home? What even happened?
And there is no story. The creatures come, humans make some sounds, they don't even fight, end of movie. It's like watching a boxing match with one guy weighing double the other, then last round the same guy weighs only half the other. How cheap and boring, I want to scream the screenwriter in his moronic ear.
Disappointing and anti-climatic.
Submergence
(2017)
10 minutes in you will realize this is not done well.
12 May 2018
Movie starts, a heap of production companies show their logo, dozens of producers and makers are listed. The intro feels like the credits are rolling and that would have been a good idea. Just those 5 minutes of sweet music and the book promotion would have done so much more for this story.
First scene, female star mumbles her text to a supporting actor, who is hard to understand also. Granted, not many people in real life speak load and clearly, like an actor, but maybe an actor should. I would be willing to suspend disbelief, I have done so for wilder stories than this one.
Next scene, french captain briefs his crew in a heavy accent, but what he says sounds like an American putting the words in his mouth. Probably what happened. At least the viewer can understand. Not that the narrative does anything for character development, story progression, sparking an interest or doing anything at all for the film.
Then we see something unusual, a wounded looking man deep in trouble somewhere in an underdeveloped country. What is he doing there? Don't worry, the next disjointed time and space jump will explain more than you want to know. Literally.
Cameras cut on the faces during dialog like following some kind of guidebook. Again, not a good idea. The European actors in this movie are not exactly models. If you have the money to shoot this, why not give us some interesting angles and show off the acting skill of the uglies you cast and not cutting every 5 seconds. This major production looked like a telenovela, what a disappointment.
First scene, female star mumbles her text to a supporting actor, who is hard to understand also. Granted, not many people in real life speak load and clearly, like an actor, but maybe an actor should. I would be willing to suspend disbelief, I have done so for wilder stories than this one.
Next scene, french captain briefs his crew in a heavy accent, but what he says sounds like an American putting the words in his mouth. Probably what happened. At least the viewer can understand. Not that the narrative does anything for character development, story progression, sparking an interest or doing anything at all for the film.
Then we see something unusual, a wounded looking man deep in trouble somewhere in an underdeveloped country. What is he doing there? Don't worry, the next disjointed time and space jump will explain more than you want to know. Literally.
Cameras cut on the faces during dialog like following some kind of guidebook. Again, not a good idea. The European actors in this movie are not exactly models. If you have the money to shoot this, why not give us some interesting angles and show off the acting skill of the uglies you cast and not cutting every 5 seconds. This major production looked like a telenovela, what a disappointment.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer
(2017)
What a shame this could have been excellent
18 December 2017
This film depicts the life of upper class people as we like to imagine it, and brilliantly so. The medical doctors couple have it all figured out, speak in complete sentences and are firm and polite. The house is gorgeous, the children are smart and well behaved. The setting of the story as a whole is very well done, believable and with great actors to boot.
The score is not so great. At times we have experimental "music" that just annoys and does nothing for the mood, but the visuals are exciting to watch, we have interesting camera angles, no shaking and clever zooms and motion.
The pace is slow, yet "The Killing of a Sacred Deer" is never boring. There is always a plot twist which is explored after, things take their time but rightfully so.
Why the relatively detailed review for a 3 star rating? The problem is that the climax is just a huge letdown. The audience can't help themselves but wonder what is going on, guessing on the crime the apparently genius 16 year old villain commits. It is never explained. The makers thought it would be enough to have the bad guy win. It is not enough.
In the end everything good about the movie was negated by breaking the suspension of disbelief in a petty way, just ending the movie.
Even "The Leftovers" explained its phenomenon, and that show did not need to. There the mystery was the premise for character development, here the mystery is a tool to keep the viewer's attention.
I'd like to give less than 3 stars, because of how cheated I feel and because of the waste of talent and production value. But I'm sure there are people who love this and people who will learn from this.
The score is not so great. At times we have experimental "music" that just annoys and does nothing for the mood, but the visuals are exciting to watch, we have interesting camera angles, no shaking and clever zooms and motion.
The pace is slow, yet "The Killing of a Sacred Deer" is never boring. There is always a plot twist which is explored after, things take their time but rightfully so.
Why the relatively detailed review for a 3 star rating? The problem is that the climax is just a huge letdown. The audience can't help themselves but wonder what is going on, guessing on the crime the apparently genius 16 year old villain commits. It is never explained. The makers thought it would be enough to have the bad guy win. It is not enough.
In the end everything good about the movie was negated by breaking the suspension of disbelief in a petty way, just ending the movie.
Even "The Leftovers" explained its phenomenon, and that show did not need to. There the mystery was the premise for character development, here the mystery is a tool to keep the viewer's attention.
I'd like to give less than 3 stars, because of how cheated I feel and because of the waste of talent and production value. But I'm sure there are people who love this and people who will learn from this.
Hangman
(II) (2017)
I want to see a movie made by professionals, not this.
26 November 2017
In this film you will find exceptionally bad acting. Even the two heavy-weight names of Hollywood, Pacino and Urban can only do so much with the terrible script. Like in other flicks similar to this one, the makers probably meant to give a realistic edge to their storytelling, by having half the people stutter, filming the car chase like a YouTube video, or having the actors stare into nothing with a thoughtful (dumb) expression on their faces.
Whoever gave the director/editor/writer of "Hangman" money for this abomination, next time give that money to me please, I promise not to flush it down the toilet.
Two extra stars for Al and Karl, I love you guys.
Whoever gave the director/editor/writer of "Hangman" money for this abomination, next time give that money to me please, I promise not to flush it down the toilet.
Two extra stars for Al and Karl, I love you guys.
Jungle
(I) (2017)
Not even that bad
28 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Four douche bags hike into the jungle, one of them Hairy Potter, and not one of them has a significant reason to do so. Immediately the viewer is rooting for the wilderness to take them out one by one, but unfortunately we don't even see that happening.
This wasted opportunity could have been so interesting, with survival action like building a shelter, cooking water, making fire, finding edible food, fighting predators, fighting each other, finding the killer, getting the girl... Instead we are presented a "true story", boring, dragged out and without a climax of any sort. Instead, we get a monkey shot off a tree, clobbered to death and eaten above a pre-made camp fire without even taking it apart. Unbelievably Hairy Potter's actor lost weight for this garbage.
Acting, camera, score, action scenes and computer generated images are all top notch. Cannot save the movie from a mediocre 5 of 10 though. If a true story is boring, get inspired. Don't just re-enact it.
This wasted opportunity could have been so interesting, with survival action like building a shelter, cooking water, making fire, finding edible food, fighting predators, fighting each other, finding the killer, getting the girl... Instead we are presented a "true story", boring, dragged out and without a climax of any sort. Instead, we get a monkey shot off a tree, clobbered to death and eaten above a pre-made camp fire without even taking it apart. Unbelievably Hairy Potter's actor lost weight for this garbage.
Acting, camera, score, action scenes and computer generated images are all top notch. Cannot save the movie from a mediocre 5 of 10 though. If a true story is boring, get inspired. Don't just re-enact it.
Alien 3
(1992)
The end of an epic trilogy
4 August 2017
Everything has been said about this movie already, but let's find out why the rating of it is so low. Here are some points of a popular reviewer, who has almost 100 percent support of their readers.
1. At some points the audience is bored stiff and at other moments they are confused by the outlandish action sequences.
Outlandish action? Was it too alien? And sorry you were bored by the exceptional cinematography, underlined by a pace that was just right not to rush things, which brings me the second point.
2. ...a disjointed mess that feels forced and rushed.
Story seemed linear to me. And which one is it, boring or rushed?
3. The direction is never clear and there is no real screenplay here at all.
This is just saying it was bad, without saying anything at all. How is this helpful.
4. Charles Dutton is pretty good, but his character lacks the development to really make him interesting. Everyone else is just present...
Dutton's character needs no development. What do you want, him finding Jesus again? Dance's backstory is interesting, and we get to know little details about everyone else like for example the IQ of one of the guards who then later unexpectedly gives his life for what he believes in, pretty strong character development for a minor player in a Sci-Fi Thriller. And that is the main problem people have when rating "Alien³", they don't know it's not a horror film like "Alien" and it's not an action flick like "Aliens".
5. Overall a disappointment that is not very impressive at all. 2 stars out of 5.
More bashing without sound reasoning behind it. This film is clearly underrated, and if the aforementioned reviewer had seen what we have seen in 2017, especially in the Science Fiction genre, he might even agree and change his opinion about how a "disjointed mess" looks like.
I give 10 not to up the overall score, but because "Alien³" ends Ripley's ordeal in a stylish and original way, without insulting the intelligence of the viewer, or rehashing previous plot lines.
1. At some points the audience is bored stiff and at other moments they are confused by the outlandish action sequences.
Outlandish action? Was it too alien? And sorry you were bored by the exceptional cinematography, underlined by a pace that was just right not to rush things, which brings me the second point.
2. ...a disjointed mess that feels forced and rushed.
Story seemed linear to me. And which one is it, boring or rushed?
3. The direction is never clear and there is no real screenplay here at all.
This is just saying it was bad, without saying anything at all. How is this helpful.
4. Charles Dutton is pretty good, but his character lacks the development to really make him interesting. Everyone else is just present...
Dutton's character needs no development. What do you want, him finding Jesus again? Dance's backstory is interesting, and we get to know little details about everyone else like for example the IQ of one of the guards who then later unexpectedly gives his life for what he believes in, pretty strong character development for a minor player in a Sci-Fi Thriller. And that is the main problem people have when rating "Alien³", they don't know it's not a horror film like "Alien" and it's not an action flick like "Aliens".
5. Overall a disappointment that is not very impressive at all. 2 stars out of 5.
More bashing without sound reasoning behind it. This film is clearly underrated, and if the aforementioned reviewer had seen what we have seen in 2017, especially in the Science Fiction genre, he might even agree and change his opinion about how a "disjointed mess" looks like.
I give 10 not to up the overall score, but because "Alien³" ends Ripley's ordeal in a stylish and original way, without insulting the intelligence of the viewer, or rehashing previous plot lines.
Somewhere Between
(2017)
Groundhog day with crappy actors
25 July 2017
The lead in this show is a cross between J-Lo and Halle Berry, who when she was starring in "Precious" had charisma, but lost all that with age. Unfortunately everybody else seems to be cast around her. Great pains were taken to have nobody in the show outshine her, couple that with the mediocre script and you find the whole thing a borefest.
I get that if you have a groundhog series you probably want to stretch it out as long you can to avoid repetition, but without production value, without decent actors or script you need to make the story-telling blazing fast, or you will end up with this garbage. "Dark Matter" is a good example of that, weird looking actors with no screen presence, abysmal CGI and action due to lack of funds, and yet it is good fun to watch. And all it does is copy the Star Trek universe and pick up the pace.
So if you copy something, make sure you do it right. This one doesn't.
I get that if you have a groundhog series you probably want to stretch it out as long you can to avoid repetition, but without production value, without decent actors or script you need to make the story-telling blazing fast, or you will end up with this garbage. "Dark Matter" is a good example of that, weird looking actors with no screen presence, abysmal CGI and action due to lack of funds, and yet it is good fun to watch. And all it does is copy the Star Trek universe and pick up the pace.
So if you copy something, make sure you do it right. This one doesn't.
Pilgrimage
(II) (2017)
Could be the beginning of a great saga
7 July 2017
This film is great, believable action, characters and setting. Good soundtrack, charismatic actors, it's well paced and has decent camera work.
The story has a certain pen and paper role-playing feel to it, we have a party of adventurers going on a quest, and there aren't many movies made like that.
The novelty of it aside, it never gets boring due to its plot twists and realistic looking action.
There is an epic historic novel called "Raptor" which has a similar story, at least the first few pages of it. When "Pilgrimage" ends you can't help but wonder what happens to the young monk going out into the world after being cloistered away for his whole life.
The story has a certain pen and paper role-playing feel to it, we have a party of adventurers going on a quest, and there aren't many movies made like that.
The novelty of it aside, it never gets boring due to its plot twists and realistic looking action.
There is an epic historic novel called "Raptor" which has a similar story, at least the first few pages of it. When "Pilgrimage" ends you can't help but wonder what happens to the young monk going out into the world after being cloistered away for his whole life.
Traffic
(2000)
Someone needs to go back to directing school
9 June 2017
This gem of the millennium comes with a great story (which has been done countless times before and after), great actors (funny faced most of them), and very well done action.
Unfortunately all is wasted on the terrible actual telling of that story and its people in action. We get weird colors, useless zoom ins, shots into nothing, a boring soundtrack, the whole thing stripped off any continuity and stretched to 2 hours 30 minutes.
It is understandable the makers of this film wanted to underline the realism with a documentary style, but come on. Or maybe they just were on some of the drugs shown in the picture, or maybe, and that must be it, they wanted the audience to feel like they were on drugs.
Unfortunately all is wasted on the terrible actual telling of that story and its people in action. We get weird colors, useless zoom ins, shots into nothing, a boring soundtrack, the whole thing stripped off any continuity and stretched to 2 hours 30 minutes.
It is understandable the makers of this film wanted to underline the realism with a documentary style, but come on. Or maybe they just were on some of the drugs shown in the picture, or maybe, and that must be it, they wanted the audience to feel like they were on drugs.
Life
(I) (2017)
Yes, okay.
3 June 2017
Boring characters, wasted superstars on a meaningless script, huge Alien rip-off which didn't work, an almost Marvel-style hologram on the ISS, laughable. Everything is so bad in this movie, except for the production value. We see gorgeous floating in zero-g, a sweet looking alien and easy on the eye actors. The boring story is not as boring as it would have been if the budget was low.
Still, some major flaws in story-telling make this an average flick. The pretty alien does not look scary at all. The characters are not introduced properly. The whole plot is disjointed, we get the facts of the story served without any sense of purpose. Finally there is no immersion, life on the ISS is as alien as the creature without weaknesses, for which you will be rooting half-way through this film.
Still, some major flaws in story-telling make this an average flick. The pretty alien does not look scary at all. The characters are not introduced properly. The whole plot is disjointed, we get the facts of the story served without any sense of purpose. Finally there is no immersion, life on the ISS is as alien as the creature without weaknesses, for which you will be rooting half-way through this film.
Here Alone
(2016)
This is what The Walking Dead wants to be
1 April 2017
Believable characters, realistic action and an interesting story, all delivered in the right pace. Very well directed in all, barely any of the dreaded shaky cam low budget productions seem to like so much, the shots of nothing to set the mood are kept in check and the audience is spared any cheap jump scares.
Even the score supports the images, which is something a lot of filmmakers struggle with. Dialogue is relatable, use of profanity appropriate.
Here Alone is definitely worth a watch.
Even the score supports the images, which is something a lot of filmmakers struggle with. Dialogue is relatable, use of profanity appropriate.
Here Alone is definitely worth a watch.
Come and Find Me
(2016)
Snoozefest
13 January 2017
I'm sure the director thinks he shot the film in a certain "style". He did not, it's just bad craftsmanship. The script goes the same way, it is probably supposed to convey a sense of realism, while actually it is just boring. Watching Aaron Paul stutter on the phone, disjointed scenes of him talking to friends "have you seen her?". Yea, we get it she's missing.
This is one of those movies that could've been done with a total length of 15 minutes, and that would've been better. Because neither Aaron Paul nor the blonde playing his girlfriend have the screen presence to carry a whole movie, despite Aaron Paul being an excellent actor and a true asset to any TV-show.
The opening scene is him and her following each other to the same home address, discovering they both live there, and being surprised by a framed picture of them apparently knowing each other. That story arc caught my interest, but unfortunately was just foreplay role play.
"Come and Find Me", the missing girlfriend story done wrong. If you want this, watch "Gone Girl", solid directing, and solid script that will hold you in suspense.
This is one of those movies that could've been done with a total length of 15 minutes, and that would've been better. Because neither Aaron Paul nor the blonde playing his girlfriend have the screen presence to carry a whole movie, despite Aaron Paul being an excellent actor and a true asset to any TV-show.
The opening scene is him and her following each other to the same home address, discovering they both live there, and being surprised by a framed picture of them apparently knowing each other. That story arc caught my interest, but unfortunately was just foreplay role play.
"Come and Find Me", the missing girlfriend story done wrong. If you want this, watch "Gone Girl", solid directing, and solid script that will hold you in suspense.
Ben-Hur
(2016)
Booooooring
26 November 2016
As with most major productions, "Ben-Hur (2016)" gets an extra star for production value.
Bad camera, unlikable characters, ugly costumes, this film has it all.
Early on the two brothers are introduced, who will have their biblical vendetta throughout this movie. Clearly the adopted one is supposed to be the bad guy, while the viewer is encouraged to root for the Jew. But questionable decision making of the 'hero' paired with the comical anti-Semitism which permeates America is going to bring the audience over to the side of the scarred underdog, whose name is not in the title.
This movie would have been great, if it had ended with the arrest of the rich fool, who harbored a fanatic in his home and didn't even have the good sense to guard him, or the variety of weapons he kept in open display.
Unfortunately it goes on and on, and no doubt "Ben-Hur" will learn a thing or two about life, love and combat during the 2 hours ordeal. But will that count as character development, and will it sway your favor back to him when he finally mounts his cart and races his brother for the final time? I don't know, you watch this drivel, and you decide.
Bad camera, unlikable characters, ugly costumes, this film has it all.
Early on the two brothers are introduced, who will have their biblical vendetta throughout this movie. Clearly the adopted one is supposed to be the bad guy, while the viewer is encouraged to root for the Jew. But questionable decision making of the 'hero' paired with the comical anti-Semitism which permeates America is going to bring the audience over to the side of the scarred underdog, whose name is not in the title.
This movie would have been great, if it had ended with the arrest of the rich fool, who harbored a fanatic in his home and didn't even have the good sense to guard him, or the variety of weapons he kept in open display.
Unfortunately it goes on and on, and no doubt "Ben-Hur" will learn a thing or two about life, love and combat during the 2 hours ordeal. But will that count as character development, and will it sway your favor back to him when he finally mounts his cart and races his brother for the final time? I don't know, you watch this drivel, and you decide.
Patient Seven
(2016)
A well made film, but pointless.
12 October 2016
Patient Seven has great actors, a good score and interesting dialogue. It delivers seven horror short stories that are never boring.
Unfortunately the film makers never went through the trouble of connecting those stories, offering closure to each of the patients, or even giving us a proper ending.
Instead of reusing horror elements throughout the various plots, (same monsters, same crimes) they could have used the content to paint a bigger picture.
In all, an opportunity wasted.
I am giving "Patient Seven" 5 out of 10 stars.
Thanks. (10 lines yay, sometimes there just isn't more to say)
Unfortunately the film makers never went through the trouble of connecting those stories, offering closure to each of the patients, or even giving us a proper ending.
Instead of reusing horror elements throughout the various plots, (same monsters, same crimes) they could have used the content to paint a bigger picture.
In all, an opportunity wasted.
I am giving "Patient Seven" 5 out of 10 stars.
Thanks. (10 lines yay, sometimes there just isn't more to say)
Cardboard Boxer
(2016)
Unfortunately not Bumfights
16 September 2016
Sep 16, 2016 I wrote:
This movie is incredibly boring, and not very well made. No character development, shaky cam for no reason, long shots of nothing. There is never explained who the main character is. The kids recruiting him for fighting are vilified in the most amateurish way.
The plot is not so much about the fighting (very few scenes badly done), it is more about the homeless man, his environment and his delusions, using an imaginary friend to... talk to, I guess. I would go so far as to say the plot is really absent.
In the end the director uses a cheap surprise ending (which is predictable enough) and heavy music to evoke an emotional response.
No reviews yet and the film has a rating of 7.9, I wish I could say I give 1 star to alleviate this, but the reality of the situation is "Cardboard Boxer" is garbage.
Jan 14, 2020 edit:
I'm so sad not many people found my review helpful. Looking back 4 years later I find it to be very accurate.
This movie is incredibly boring, and not very well made. No character development, shaky cam for no reason, long shots of nothing. There is never explained who the main character is. The kids recruiting him for fighting are vilified in the most amateurish way.
The plot is not so much about the fighting (very few scenes badly done), it is more about the homeless man, his environment and his delusions, using an imaginary friend to... talk to, I guess. I would go so far as to say the plot is really absent.
In the end the director uses a cheap surprise ending (which is predictable enough) and heavy music to evoke an emotional response.
No reviews yet and the film has a rating of 7.9, I wish I could say I give 1 star to alleviate this, but the reality of the situation is "Cardboard Boxer" is garbage.
Jan 14, 2020 edit:
I'm so sad not many people found my review helpful. Looking back 4 years later I find it to be very accurate.
Now You See Me 2
(2016)
Now You See Me (but why would you)
25 August 2016
Stage magic and movies are very much alike. The more convincing, the better. Unfortunately the action in this film, magic tricks, sleight of hand, hypnotizing people, is simply unbelievable - in a bad way. This is not an alternate universe with different rules of physics. This is not a group of super heroes using their powers, this is not a tale of magic becoming reality, this is simply unrealistic garbage.
As for the actors, most notably we have Mark Zuckerberg (played by Lex Luthor) trying to take away the leadership of the "Horsemen" from "Jack" (played by someone without any screen presence whatsoever). Then we have a new person in the crew, an obnoxious girl, replacing someone from the prequel who I can't remember, because they were just as forgettable as the whole drivel that makes up both stories. We have Woody, Morgan Freeman, Caine, and Harry (Potter). In other words no one likable, unless you like them. Mark Ruffalo (Hulk) also shows his unlikable side.
I tried to keep this on to help me sleep, but during the action scenes they cranked up the volume (as is customary in movies for some reason) so I ended up switching it off.
The extra star I gave is for production value.
As for the actors, most notably we have Mark Zuckerberg (played by Lex Luthor) trying to take away the leadership of the "Horsemen" from "Jack" (played by someone without any screen presence whatsoever). Then we have a new person in the crew, an obnoxious girl, replacing someone from the prequel who I can't remember, because they were just as forgettable as the whole drivel that makes up both stories. We have Woody, Morgan Freeman, Caine, and Harry (Potter). In other words no one likable, unless you like them. Mark Ruffalo (Hulk) also shows his unlikable side.
I tried to keep this on to help me sleep, but during the action scenes they cranked up the volume (as is customary in movies for some reason) so I ended up switching it off.
The extra star I gave is for production value.
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