terminalsofa Reviews

The Lost Daughter (2021)

Tedious

[3/10 · 9 January 2022]

I've been trying to write a review but I'm giving up because it was all just too boring. I didn't care about any of the characters; the plot went nowhere and (probably not much anyone could have done about this but) a Greek island cliche was an almost immediate turn-off for me.

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)

Just sit back and accept it.

[7/10 · 27 December 2021]

It's not in the same class as the Muppets Christmas Movie but it has the same sort of nonsense feel to it. It's what you want if you want to be entertained for a couple of hours without having to put in any effort. I can understand that it's not to everyone's taste, but if you don't like it, switch off.

I liked the choreography precisely because it was working hard and it was high energy.

Most of the music was a notch above Musical Mediocrity.

Just a shame that Buddy looked like a Wall-E/ET hybrid. Could have done a little better with that.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Ridley Scott where are you?

[2/10 · 9 May 2021]

I've seen this 3 times now, and each time it gets worse. I can't believe that Ridley Scott had anything to do with this. The plot was nonsensical, all of the characters were shallow and ill-drawn, the script was, at times, excruciating, and as for David the God-android, Ian Holm must be spinning!

There are some good visuals, but go back to the originals and they're secondary to a good plot and a main character you actually care about. Which brings me to Noomi Rapace: blank-faced and one-dimensional in every film I've seen her in (I did a little count in my head, must be at least 10).

For Alien fans and Ridley Scott fans, best avoided.

Thunder Force (2021)

A waste of talent

[3/10 · 10 April 2021]

This probably looked good on paper, but between page and screen it fell into a quality vacuum. Given the talent in the cast it serves as proof that if they're working with rubbish, there's not a lot their talent can do to salvage it. The script is weak, the plotline is thin and McCarthy needs reining in or she needs some new tricks. That Octavia Spencer and Jason Bateman got suckered into this defies understanding. Having just watched Bateman in "This is where I leave you", this was embarrassing. If you want a sideways take on superheroes just go back to Hancock or Deadpool - something with a bit of intelligence in it.

Just throwing a load of CGI at something doesn't make a good film.

It's for hard-core McCarthy fans only.

Passion (2012)

Cut your toenails instead. It's a better plot.

[1/10 · 18 March 2021]

Here are the four circumstances under which you should watch this movie. 1. You are a total die-hard, absolutely last man standing fan of either McAdams or Rapace. Even then don't bother: neither is on top form. 2. Murder She Wrote is too realistic and intelligent for you. Even then, try Midsomer Murders. 3. You like movies that hinge on scenes involving a big toe and an obsolete Nokia (or whatever brand it was). 4. Someone has broken into your home, tied you to a chair and super-glued your eyelids open.

It's rare that I find a movie with literally nothing to recommend it. Undoubtedly the highlight of this one was the trashing of a Coca-Cola vending machine. Great product placement. The plot is so full of holes and unbelievable contrivances that it's barely joined up at all. When the fact that a pivotal plot development depending on the cops being so stupid that they hadn't noticed the date on the incriminating email, is made to look totally believable by a crucial plot development depending on the faux villain just happening to turn up dead drunk at exactly the right time, then crashing his car and leaving the door conveniently open to allow the planting of incriminating evidence against him, then you know that there are lesser minds at work. The whole thing reeks of having to keep going back to re-write scenes in a desperate attempt to try and make it hang together. Fail. It's not really worth the time to go through everything else, even the sets and locations are dreary stereotypes. Given that it was released in 2012 it's sloppy 1970's movie-making of the worst kind. Paint a wall and watch it dry for a couple of hours instead.

The Sisters Brothers (2018)

Drama vacuum

[3/10 · 14 March 2021]

Just about as disappointing as a film with this cast could be. It is a drama-free, tension-free, humour-free zone. The story line is disjointed and, at times, incredible. I didn't care about any of the characters. It might have improved slightly if someone had seen fit to cut about half an hour out of it, but the "plot" might have been even less believable. So where do I get 3 stars? Well, for fans of Reilly, Phoenix and Gyllenhall I suppose it's just about worth a watch for the sake of saying you've seen it, because they at least put in a reasonable shift considering the dross that they're working with.

Greenland (2020)

Witless tripe

[2/10 · 6 February 2021]

It's depressing that anyone thinks that facile, unimaginative, witless tripe like this is worth putting any money into. The only reason for not giving it no stars is that there isn't any pandering to the Chinese market, which would have made it totally unwatchable.

Venom (2018)

Strangely enjoyable.

[7/10 · 14 September 2020]

Yes, it's drivel. Yes, it's a mess. Yes, it makes no sense. But I still found it weirdly watchable. Of all the MCU movies, this and Deadpool really are for comic book fans. It's also a movie that works for Tom Hardy fans. I've watched it twice and can't imagine anyone else in the role. The only real downside for me was the very hard to follow shape-shifting fight between Venom and Riot.

Unorthodox (2020)

Really gripping.

[9/10 · 14 September 2020]

Firstly, I must congratulate the producers of this series for having the courage to keep it to only 4 episodes, and for not finishing ep 4 with a set-up for a potential season 2. This alone, earns it 6 stars. Add to this the strength of the story, the superb acting and the unflinching but human representation of the Williamsburg Jewish community and you get a gripping, if not always easy, watch.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Overblown

[6/10 · 14 September 2020]

Although this is the usual Avengers fare it comes nowhere near the quality of the previous MCU outings. There are just too many characters in it. Hardly anybody gets a chance to develop. As much as I enjoyed other MCU movies, this one just felt like a bit of a chore. And the final half hour was just grindingly hard work as the camera worked its way through so many Marvel characters, that I wouldn't have been surprised to see all the X-Men, Daredevil, Jessica Jones and the full cast of the Beano thrown in for good measure. But it's still watchable - just.

Away (2020)

Huge disappointment

[2/10 · 14 September 2020]

I imagine the planning meetings went something like this. Gather together 1,000 13-14 year-olds. Tell them to think what it would be like to fly to Mars without their mobile phones. They all scream "No way!!" Ask them to write 1 stupid idea each on a piece of paper. Get a chimpanzee (sorry chimps) to glue them all together. And there you have it. Not really sure where I got the 2 stars from. Probably because I feel sorry for Hilary.

Hostiles (2017)

Brutal and intense.

[8/10 · 16 May 2020]

There might be equal billing for others of the cast but this is undoubtedly Christian Bale's film. That said, the cast is superb throughout, and Scott Cooper's direction is full of empathy with many assured touches. Christian Bale captures perfectly the conflict and doubt of one who does bad things in the course of duty, although at no point does he offer that up as an excuse for what he has done. The film evolves at a slow pace and at times evokes an almost dream-like quality, inspired by the landscape, which more than once put me in mind of Herzog's classic, Aguirre: Wrath of God. Interspersed are episodes of raw violence, which are not in the least bit glamourized or sensationalized, making them even more shocking. The film explores multiple themes surrounding human relationships and it is to everyone's credit that there is never any feeling of falseness or contrivance in the way those relationships evolve. In particular, the bonds that grow between the main characters perfectly capture the central trope of basic human decency. I wouldn't argue with anyone who felt that it could lose 10 minutes, but I was never bored. There is some fine cinematography, and if one or two scenes are a little clichéd, the landscape almost dictates it and they are in any case so well handles that they don't jar at all. SPOILER ALERT! (Read no further if you have not yet seen this movie.) My one small quibble is with the ending, and I wonder if the film might have been conceived with an alternative ending. In the final scene, I was steeled to endure the same tearing of the emotions as I did at the end of "The Remains of the Day", where I would be shouting at the screen "Get on the train! Just get on the train!" So when he did, I felt a bit cheated. Or maybe I'm just a sad emo.

Not Another Happy Ending (2013)

Karen Gillan and not much else.

[5/10 · 9 May 2020]

Why do so many rom-coms rely on preposterous premises? When they work (rarely, such as in Sliding Doors) the overall feel of the film can overcome its shortcomings. In this case, without it's female lead it would be pretty much unwatchable. I liked the idea of Jane's protagonist, Darcie, dogging her during the writer's block, but this was too underplayed and could have provided a lot more comedy than it did. The male lead character lacks all credibility and Stanley Weber's performance is mind-numbing. Otherwise, the supporting characters are badly drawn and barely justify their screen time. In particular the male support to Weber, supposedly a secondary school teacher is laughable, in all the wrong ways (how did he manage to get hold of a taxi?), while Jane's sleazeball, mistaken love interest (Willie) is stereotyping at it's worst. Karen Gillan carries the film on her own, and it's worth watching just for her performance. In the end the overall feeling is that there was a much better film trying to get out. Continuity and editing weren't much good either, but nice locations. Curiosity point: interesting to see non-sexualized nudity actually justified by the plot.

The Party's Just Beginning (2018)

An emotional wringer.

[10/10 · 9 May 2020]

I've never forgiven Dr Who for killing off Tom Baker so didn't discover Karen Gillan until Jumanji. I was so impressed with whoever was playing Ruby Roundhouse I've been catching up on her, starting with "Not Another Happy Ending" (see review). But then, coincidentally, saw her in "The Circle", where, in a supporting role, she acted everyone else off the screen. Then, after discovering her short, "Conventional", I was led on to this. After watching a film that I rate highly I always read the negative reviews to see if I've missed the point or misunderstood something. I didn't and I haven't. This film is amazing. As a directorial debut, Gillan keeps a tight rein on every aspect of the film (no point in picking specifics: it's all good). I can imagine the finished product is very close to her original vision. Those who dismiss the film as boring or depressing, simply have no concept of the pressures of life for some young people. For too many life can, and far too frequently does spiral rapidly downwards out of control because of situations and events which are to them inexplicable and beyond their understanding. At times, I found it almost too painful to watch and really could not find the "humour" in it. Scraping someone off a train line is never funny. But Gillan gives a powerful and affecting performance, and I believed in her character throughout. It's not an easy watch but Gillan's presence will repay the effort. Now can we have a proper rom-com with a decent script and cast please? I really want to see that other Karen Gillan that I'm sure is in there.

The Lion King (2019)

Lazy re-make.

[2/10 · 21 July 2019]

Here was an opportunity to re-think, re-invent, re-boot - whatever you want to call it. Instead we get a lazy, virtually scene-by scene re-make, but with LOOOOOADS of money thrown at the CGI. Some of that money would have been better spent on a script that didn't sound like breeze blocks knocking against each other. It was that clunky. When Beyonce (waste of money) says "Lions attack" I laughed out loud. Back to Beyonce (and she wasn't alone)- in terms of voice characterisation, the characterisation part of it seems to have gone missing. These guys should have listened to any Pixar film to find out what's involved in bringing a character to life. Where was Scar's villainy? Where was the hyenas' menace? In the original cartoon Poombah and Timon were what made me squirm most but here we could have done with a bit more of them. They provided the only parts of the script that came alive and I suspect that a lot of that probably relied on ad-libbing. I don't mind a bad film if somebody's trying, but this was just weak, poor and above all lazy.