dahita-54585 Reviews

Billion Dollar Heist (2023)

Typical sloppy streched-out Netflix doc

[3/10 · 23 August 2023]

Another archetype of Netflix's so-called "documentaries".

Get a bunch of people who were part of the story to tell it for you. Put together a few drawings to illustrate their thoughts. Zero investigation, no journalistic research whatsoever. You'd think they would send a few investigators on the tail of those cyber-crooks? Interview the only person that was found guilty, the lawyers, the bank? Integrate the small world of hackers to get some insights? Think again. It's hypothesis after hypothesis. Fill the blanks with endless random images representing futuristic network connections around the world along with stressful music, you're done.

The result is what we're all too used to by now; something that looks like a high tech commercial predicting the end of the world by computers, buttered with blend statements on cyber-threats that everyone's well aware of, while watching video clips straight for the Netflix free bank of computer related imagery. You almost end up forgetting what the actual topic is initially about.

That's all it takes in Netflix' view to make a good documentary . This masterpiece would be about 15 mins long if it wasn't for all the fillers. Spare yourself from this garbage.

Bullet Train (2022)

Another overdone, braindead bad action movie

[1/10 · 3 November 2022]

These movies are made because of fast-paced, non-stop video content platforms. They imitate the feeling those provide to kids to try to appeal to larger crowds. That's why we're ending up with empty shells of movies like this one.

The scenario is as simple as it gets. Every character's personality is a caricature in its own style, exaggerated in its traits, while lacking any sort of depth. They end up coming off uninteresting, shallow and idiotic. Everything here relies on quick paced snapshots of an action-oriented movie put together to overflow you with shiny images and noises, so you don't have time to think of how lamentable this trash really is until it's too late for a refund. A little "comedy" is used to try to justify the lack of depth, in a miserable attempt to avoid any responsibility in this disaster.

I can guarantee you that nobody here will ever watch this garbage twice in his lifetime, even the ones leaving positive reviews. We stopped watching after 30 mins of agony. You'd think they'd learned their lesson with The Grey Man.... Avoid at all cost.

Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life (2010)

Everything you shouldn't have done as a director

[2/10 · 30 September 2022]

The movie is as bad as Eric Elmosnino is good. The director felt it was useful to add artsy personal touches on the author's life using a spirit of Gainsbourg as his side charactor, focusing on his art forms and music hits developments. The movie completely fails at describing what actually took place in the artist's life and what experiences made him what he became.

Instead, we get this boring flick where the imaginary crosses Gainsbourg's most famous songs every 10 mins. It adds nothing to what we already know of his life. No epic stories (and there was so much to talk about regarding his early and late years' night life), no vibrant momentum, no real character or relationship developments, no depth, nothing.

This movie could have been so much better if it had been shaped like "Cloclo" (about the famous Claude Francois). What a shame, what a slap in the face of Gainsbourg and his interpret which, once again delivers a stunning performance that could have be much better used.

Nightmare Alley (2021)

Pretty interesting movie

[8/10 · 26 July 2022]

This movie is a little long, and the entire first hour could have been better put together for a shorter, more coherent film. However, the story ends up becoming really interesting, and the decors, noir ambience and acting end up making it worth watching. The picture quality is phenomenal if you have an HDR compatible screen and the experience feels like reading a good book on a long winter night. Would recommend.

The Gray Man (2022)

Absolute Garbage

[1/10 · 26 July 2022]

I know everyone's standards have lowered over the past 10 years, but this is a new low even for a Netflix Movie. Mash up James Bond, Jason Bourne and John Wick, add all the cliches a teenager would think of regarding the CIA and secret operations around the world and you've got this boring, brainless, empty shell of a "movie". The non-stop action cannot cover the lack of... everything, from the scenario, the direction, the horrendous dialogs to the ridiculousness of each situation these poor actors are thrown in.

I'd rather be forced to watch the last Bruce Willis action flick 4 times in a row than another minute of this non-sense. Producers must really thing we're all very stupid to keep doing this to ourselves. Turn off your Netflix account and read books, quick!!!!

Meltdown: Three Mile Island (2022)

Another over-dramatized, over-extended "mini-serie" from Netflix

[1/10 · 21 May 2022]

This mini-serie is so badly made you don't learn what precisely happens by the third episode out of the four. All you see and hear about are testimonies of clueless neighbors for hours long. It feels like every single "documentaries" from Netflix follow that same recipe to extend their length. It makes for a boring, uninteresting, waste of a time show that I wish I had not come across.

Mission to Mars (2000)

Atrocious direction for a sub-part story

[1/10 · 7 March 2022]

This movie feels like it's been directed by a high school project group. It is cut so badly it's hard to believe DePalma had anything to do with it. I have to go with the assumption he subcontracted the direction to his neighbor's kid.

From the very beginning, the scenes are long and the acting painful to watch. The setting of the background story during the first 15 minutes is the classic direction move where characters rehash out loud what happened to one another for the sake of spectator. Made up example: "Bob, I know you spend the last 25 years working on this project, missing your kids' birthdays and Christmases and losing your wife and dog in the process. Achieving nuclear fusion, in your garage, sounds almost impossible as we told you many times. This is what lead us to this moment, drinking together at this party on the front porch of your colleague, James, who has been your new assistant since the suspicious death of your co-worker John 10 years ago". It's that bad.

The entire movie is just as predictable. Long trip to Mars? Throw in an engine issue on the way to make an artificial exciting event. Everyone gets scared, then rationalize, get to action, fix the issue, move on. Every single scene is expected. Some are corny, cringy even. Couples make out during work sessions in space with cheesy lines and incoherent situations. Heroes raise from unnecessary actions and superficial dramas. The scene move from one another as if they weren't parts of the same movie. There is absolutely no depth to the scenario, the story, the situations, the characters. Without spoiling the movie, even the outcome makes absolutely no sense.

This movie is a train-wreck. It is painful to watch good actors waste their talent on camera trying to make it work. I'd almost recommend to watch the first 10 mins out of curiosity. It's difficult to comprehend how the same man could direct this and Casualties of War. One day, I'd love to be able to ask him what happened.

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

Force-fed neo-feminism / "diversity" ruins everything

[4/10 · 28 January 2022]

As usual with most new TV shows, Dexter New-Blood is not escaping the current trend of force-feeding the spectator with feminism, LGBT content, religion bashing, minorities issues. Women must be the ones fixing cars and being know-it alls, white men with money are evil, white popular kids are bullies, you name it, it's all in there. They even went as far as using the expression "creator knows what" to keep rubbing a little "diversity" on you every way they can. Problem with it is, it's so cringey it's distracting, and since the plot is not the most interesting piece of scenario ever written either, you end up watching the show for the decor (where is this town btw? Looks great!). Too bad; Michael C Hall is a hell of an actor and deserved much better.

Love Actually (2003)

Absolutely terrible. Really.

[1/10 · 27 January 2022]

This movie is so cheesy it's unbearable. Characters lack substance, everything is predictable, situations are as tacky and as cheesy as it gets ("Oh, I'm the head of the state, but I'm so intimidated by the delivery girl, Good lord in heaven!"). Over two hours of my life that my wife and I will never get back. How this movie got good reviews, I will never know.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Pretentious Movie

[1/10 · 31 December 2021]

One can write a review with cryptic interpretations regarding phantasmal allegories that every character, sentence and situation in the movie is about.

Reality is, no one will have the same understanding because the movie is left obnoxiously vague in every aspect, with just enough fantasy and and peps that it still looks attractive to the naked eye (albeit terrible technical qualities - picture is horrendous even in 4K, and voices are mainly recorded in studio). The result is a plot that constantly serpents around its main direction without ever behind fully coherent.

To me, this is a pretentious, empty movie, and God knows why the pompous movie buffs keep pretending there's any genius behind it. Watch it at your own risk.

Free Guy (2021)

Teenager woke movie

[3/10 · 30 September 2021]

The characters in this movie sound fake and look cliche, just like the dialogues. The story could have been interesting but it ends up being hollow. Little elements of woke culture are spread around, mentioning "white privilege", making every bad guy white, etc. We really wanted to like it but it seems Hollywood doesn't know how to make movies anymore.

Friends: The Reunion (2021 TV Special)

I was surprised!

[10/10 · 28 May 2021]

I have no idea why I was imposed Justin Bieber or Carla Delvinge, but other than that, it was such a pleasure to see them again. This episode was well directed, not as over-emotional as I feared, filled with interesting fact and just a nice moment overall! Many thanks for making this happen.

Driveways (2019)

Cliche, boring, unoriginal

[1/10 · 14 May 2021]

I watched this movie mainly for Brian Dennehy being in the cast. I really wanted to like it. Unfortunately, this movie is bad on so many levels it was a pure waste of time.

First off, Lucas Jaye and Hong Chau are a bit of a disappointment. They aren't believable in their characters and won't be nominated for an award for this movie, at least not for their acting skills. Brian Dennehy saves the day, but not the movie. Next, the cliche issue. The ignorant white nosy lady next door, the two white redneck kids, the bingo playing seniors, the nice and kind black lady (let's stay in tune with today's themes!), they are all in there. Every single character is conventional, just adjusted to today's "diversity" flavor of the month. A good example of how unoriginal this movie is, is when the white nosy lady asks her Asian-looking neighbor "where are you from?", to which Hong Chau answers "Michigan", and gets a surprised look in return. Sigh.

The result is an uninteresting, dull, boring movie that brings absolutely nothing new to the table.

Captain Fantastic (2016)

Condescending, pseudo-intellectual, boring

[1/10 · 12 May 2021]

This movie is based on a very simple anti-capitalism story and is a pretentious attempt at elevating consciousness around its absurdities. Problem is, a 12 year old could have written the points made by the movie, and it propbably would have been more entertaining. Reading is good, TV is bad, politics don't solve everything, running after money isn't a fulfilling goal. Well thanks a lot, you just opened my eyes! Add a bit of feminism, over dramatic scenes and bad jokes and voila! You get yourself a pseudo-intellectual movie.

I think the scene that represents this movie well is the part where a kid is explained how babies are made. Priceless! That is also the moment we decided to move on, and if you don't want to waste 2 hours of your time, maybe you should too.

Nobody (I) (2021)

Copycat of John Wick...

[1/10 · 21 April 2021]

Which was already a dull, boring movie. This one literally takes shamelessly everything from John Wick except the dog. Even the vintage sports car is in it.

The only good thing about "Nobody" is the fact that it's only 1:30mins. I couldn't tell you why we made it to the end, maybe out of respect for Doc Brown. Still, Odenkirk is a great actor and deserves a lot better.

Shooting the Mafia (2019)

Poorly made

[2/10 · 16 April 2021]

The title of this documentary is misleading. It is not directly about the mafia but about the biography of the photographer. It seems she has had a strange life but it is very difficult to decipher as stories from her past are suggested and not clearly put together. There is no clear milestones to help follow a clear timeline of what is happening in her life, so it ends up becoming a very confused autobiography where a hectic love life and blurry career moves are mixed incoherently to form some kind of feminist testimony told by a red hair grandma. As far as the "mafia" pictures, it seems she spent most of her life taking shots of mafia victims. Not sure this was the best way to spend 1:34min of my life.

Cosmic Sin (2021)

Why do producers keep making these movies?!

[1/10 · 4 March 2021]

I gave up on Bruce Willis a while ago unfortunately, but I had just discovered Franck Grillo in Boss Level and he did such a great acting job I thought I would give this one a shot.

The acting, or rather, the direction for the acting makes no sense from the beginning. Reactions of characters facing situations are totally incoherent. The dialogues are rock bottom, I'm talking middle school level at best. The interactions are mindless (especially since it involves a lot of military folks who respect neither the enemy nor their superiors), even the scenery is bad! I can't think of anything, objectively, that wasn't cringey at best during the entire 20 minutes of watching this piece of trash. And I am really infuriated, because my 3 old niece could have done a better job at directing this thing, and I will never get those 20 minutes back.

Stop producing garbage, I beg of you!

Boss Level (2020)

Surprisingly good!

[9/10 · 28 February 2021]

I was very pleasantly surprised watching this movie. The acting is great (and it's always good to see Mel Gibson!), the story is well crafted, well directed, and it really just takes you for a cool ride between action and comedy. This is what happens when producers give a shot to good scenarios as opposed to agendas and polls. Well played!

Seconds from Disaster (2004–2018)

Very well made

[10/10 · 24 February 2021]

This show is one of the few that remains interesting over the years. It is very well crafted, well documented and the stories are fascinating. We need more shows like this.

Ruby & Quentin (2003)

Horrible, pathetic, empty shell of a movie

[1/10 · 8 February 2021]

I am a big Depardieu/Reno fan. I watched this movie based on the IMDB rating, even though usually, I know better. What a disappointment! The story is very basic, the direction of the movie is atrocious, the jokes.... are they supposed to be jokes?! Nothing like the classics from the eighties like Operation Corned-Beef or Les comperes. Depardieu's role does not fit him well either, and the result is a failed duo navigating randomly in a movie that makes very little sense. Your time will be better spend listening to your hair grow.

Tenet (2020)

Boring beyond belief

[1/10 · 9 December 2020]

So apparently, according to Nolan, criminals now like to torture people in open air on train tracks, while train drivers pass by. Indian women talk to their husbands like they'd talk to their valet, and folks on the street of India are unfazed that some men jump-rope from buildings' top floors around, then nonchalantly walk away in the crowd. You can also put a guard to sleep within a second using a magic piece of cloth held loosely under the nose (very convenient!). I'll pass on the super-hero fighting skills of the main protagonist, or his unnecessary and constant attitude towards anyone, because it is not as irritating as the situations and character stories (the blond art aficionado wife divorce issue is a good exemple) thrown at us during the entire movie. Actually, I shouldn't say entire movie, because we got so bored we left before the end.

There's a new style of movie in town, a little bit like the more recent James Bonds. It is made out of over-complicated scenarios based on bad, cheap "witty" interactions and dialogues, intertwined with extended, pompous action sequences that are incoherent and quite boring.

One very strange fact to notice; the airplane preparation sequence soundtrack and scene construction, around 30 mins in, resembles the Kane plane heist scene in Batman 3 a little too much for comfort.

Lastly, I have to talk about the sound. This movie, just like Inception or Dunkirk, is LOUD but the dialogues are not clear. You can barely understand anything that is said, while the rest of the movie will shred your tympani to pieces.

Low Cost (2010)

Hilarious movie!

[10/10 · 17 November 2020]

This movie is very original by its story, well crafted and well paced. Actors are doing a great job and, all in all, come off hilarious as well. I was very surprised to see that it has a low rating on here, but, as usual with french humor, it's not for everyone I assume. If you like french comedies in general, go for it, this movie is excellent!

Intelligence (2020–2023)

Too "woke" for my taste

[2/10 · 25 October 2020]

Take the fantasy of a 16 yo democrat and turn it into a show and you obtain intelligence. Characters are too much of a new-age caricature, they are incoherent and added for the sole purpose of satisfying some left-wing producers. Too bad because it had a few good jokes and a nice potential.

Through the Fire (2018)

Excellent drama

[9/10 · 11 September 2020]

It is so refreshing to watch good movies like this one lately. No hidden agenda, no politics, just a heart-wrenching story well told and brilliantly interpreted. I learned about the fact it is based on a true story only after watching it, which makes it even more special. I highly recommend this movie.

City Hunter (2018)

Awesome movie

[10/10 · 12 June 2020]

Non-french viewers will not get the movie as it is loaded with references to the mythical "Club Dorothee" we all watched when we were young. The movie does an amazing job at capturing the essence of City Hunter, using a plethora of celebrities (including Dorothee!) to achieve the perfect mix between nostalgia and fun. Excellent surprise, I really hope they go for a trilogy.