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Freddy vs Ghostbusters (2004)
An incredible find
ABout two weeks ago, on a trip to South America, I was cavorting through a flea market and made an interesting discovery: a street peddler was offering his
usual wares of bootlegged items and pirated movies and, among the many things he was bartering were copies of something he claimed was The Return of the
Ghostbusters or something like that. I was intrigued by this concept and, no wanting to part with the couple bucks it would have cost me to buy the darn
thing and being a rabid Ghostbusters fan, when I returned to my hotel room I checked IMDb for any reference about such a beast. Nope, it isn't Ghostbusters or Return of the Ghostbusters, but Freddy Vs Ghostbusters, a fantastically creative fan movie created by Braxtanfilms, a team of
fans led by Hank Braxtan. My initial reaction was utter disbelief about the final product and some badly directed anger toward it. But that was my inner fan
speaking; there must be some heavy forgiveness over a movie that was made by a bunch of people, a camera and a 500 bucks budget. In a second watching, I began to dismiss the overly static shots, focusing problems and lighting issues about this baby and took notice of the efficient
editing and story telling of this small gem and found it extremely enjoyable: I heartily recommend that Hank Braxtan should enroll in any Film Institute to
polish his film making style. Man, I would even keep him in mind if I ever decide to make a movie from a couple of scripts that are moldering in my trunk. No
wonder Freddy VS Ghostbusters leaked out from the Internet and found its way to the South American bootlegging market. A couple of tips, however. A few scenes would have benefited with a more balanced lightning and tighter editing. And the movie loses a couple of great
dialog opportunities to make good banter, which in the end would had been bigger, better jokes. For Example, I'd have written the scene where Neal and
Eugine enter dream land as follows:
EUGENE: Where are we?
NEAL: This is it. This is my dream.
EUGENE: If this is you dreams, where are the naked ladies?
With the addition of just a tiny, bitty line, that particular scene would have become a extremely funny. It's refreshing to see new talent and fresh blood entering this jaded trade of ours and I commend IMDb for allowing an entry for this great find.
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Lucas Films Goofs
When talking about Return of the Jedi, it's impossible to discuss the movie without mentioning its two versions: the original one released in 1983 which was a touch of genius and the digitally restored version released nearly a decade and a half later. Recently, Lucasfilms has launched a DVD release that contains both versions; original and digitally restored. That's one big mistake; you can now compare them at your leisure in the coziness of your home. Digitally restored, my butt. Digitally meddled and messed and demeaning are a list of more proper descriptions of what Mr. Lucas did to its work. Most of the changes in the second version were disruptive at best; a few were interesting to see and they complement and flesh out some details but only proving out that Mr. Lucas was only stupid and/or lazy enough of not doing them from the start, marring one nearly perfect film. Other changes were totally disruptive, showing that he doesn't care of his fans' memories and he's more than willing to alienate any possible new following. At the end of both movies it's a big celebration sequence: The original one was plain though heartwarming; simple yet self-contained. In the digitally restored mess, this same sequence loses the carefully timed rhythm of the first version and adds footage that only rabid Star Wars fans would get and tolerate. The Cloud City and Imperial Coruscant sections are to be understood only by those who have faithfully followed the series from the very start. One final note: with this dual DVD release, Lucas made another terrible mistake. He didn't provide us with nice and clean copies of the originals; they're not restored, they're scratched, dusty and a few frames were distorted by age. The digitizing was lousily done, allowing for some heavy flickering in some scenes. And yet somebody ought to tell Mr. Lucas that I'll cherish its original work with all its flickers and flaws and put it in a place of honor in my film collection. His updated work will be more useful as a Frisbee for my dog.
The Wedding Singer (1998)
Wonderful novie that Fizzles!
Mr. Sandler has done it again. Such an incredible entertaining movie that show great movie, but he still lacks enough control to make it through. His past five movies suffered from a hurried, tacked-on ending and this one is no different. The final scene, though lovable and making the Internet message boards buzz on how they loved it, conveys the feeling Mr. Sandler really didn't know how to end the film in a coherent way related to the rest of the movie. Too sweet for such a cynical endeavor. The highlights? Wonderful mid-movie song: "Somebody kill me, please." Excellent eighties atmosphere. It sent me back through time.
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Formula sequel making
Recently I sat on a Ghostbusters marathon, having bought the double deal package just for continuity's sake. The first movie had me so entranced I almost cried from nostalgia. Oh, to be a kid again and go to the summer screening of the original. The sequel I'm now have the intention to comment has ripped-off the original plot only doing the following: A) Exchange the Marshmallow Man with Miss Liberty B) Exchange Gozer for Vigo C) Exchange the Marshmallow gook with pink slime D) Exchange the wonderful Elmer Bernstein's movie score for an awful and forgettable music. E) Tried to make a Rap-like version of the original stuff. Just say no to this one!
The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)
Regular Joe is caught in stupid spy web
The other day I read again Maltin's review on this movie and found it unfairly unjust. What's the guy talking about of not letting Hanks be funny in this movie? Has he seen the same movie as I? The main strong point of this film is a normal guy ensnared in the web of stupid bunch of paranoid spies. He doesn't need to funny with more than his face that reads "Oh, my god! In what mess have I fallen into?" The rest of the team provides an incredible comedic value to the movie, acting like the dumb jerks they really are and seeing a conspiracy where there is none apart from the guys who set up the trap. Okay, the pace is uneven and some characters are overdrawn, like the two spies that follow Hank around, protecting him. But it's a nice movie to see in a pinch if you're down to an awful selection at the video store.
Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
Real Ugly Follow-UP of the first MOVIE!
The plot was predictable, more than so for a revenge movie. Instead of surprising us, this film is on the intent of just shocking us being only the Taarna sequence of the first movie blown up to nearly ninety minutes of boring stuff. (The bathing sequence is a direct rip-off). The final result smacks of a vehicle film for Kevin Eastman wife, Julie Strain. Mr. Eastman should stick to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sequels from now on. Dialogue is horrid and the film makes the awful mistake of making secondary characters more interesting than the main ones. Example: Germain and Julies's sister. And that little rock guy. There was a great sequence in the film, though. Check out the bar brawling when Julie meets Tyler at gunpoint. The slow motion was lousy but the dialogs shows up the wit the overall movie ought to have had.
Batman Returns (1992)
Icky DeVito's performance.
As a writer, I'm more sensitive than the Regular Joe to plot devices and character motivations. While Nicholson offered us a top notch performance as the Joker in Batman, neither DeVito nor Pfeiffer provide enough strength or motivation to become the so called villains of this motion picture. I went to the theater with high expectations (I even rented Batman to get back high on the subject) and came out utterly disappointed. Even a Luke warm homage to Burguess Meredith would have been a better sequel to the first Batman.
Imagine this: DeVito could have played a millionaire eccentric bird lover whose fortune had been taken away, (obviously a rip off plot from Trading Places) but it would lend the character some more power. Then he attacks the city with his army of penguins. Lovable!
Soylent Green (1973)
Great mystery but everyone knows the answer before Heston does!
This is a wonderful movie despite all its ham acting and the cardboard essence it oozes. Strictly a yawn maker if you come with great expectations. But I digress: what I really want to write about is the magnificent sequence where Solomon dies, euphemistically known as Going Home. It's the kind of scene that won't make you cry if your cables are wired wrong inside your head. Its like the end reel of Disney's Snowhite; you are deftly manipulated through your emotions. This is the place the makers of this movie achieved what I usually call "touching the mind of God". It's so masterfully crafted and then the rest of the movie is sort of a let down. (Does anyone outside there who doesn't actually know what Soylent Green is made of?)
Up the Creek (1984)
Wonderful White Water W-Fun
Salacious white water raft race. Actually, it's a watered-down toga party. (Pun intended) Tim Matherson's presence is highly suspect. Good Fun for the time being. Highlights: the charade sequence near the film's silly denouement. You gonna love the frisky dog. Most imaginative use of explosives in a sophomore movie and most unbelievable bad guy's foul up I have ever seen. Otherwise, keep your brain in a jar and enjoy it. Is anybody ready to start a signature campaign to get this nice doggy err... movie onto DVD? Count me in. Hope MGM ever makes up its mind onto this. Time is running out. Cybercaf'e clock running. gggg
Modern Problems (1981)
Troubled traffic controller gains mental powers in weird mishap
This is the first time I saw a movie that required viewing instructions. If you have a DVD player, skip the first five episodes and you'll find this movie funnier. Utterly zany, but actually funnier. (For those still in VCR stone age, fast forward the first twenty-five minutes to reproduce previous step.) Later, if you want to flesh out what you just saw, watch what you skipped and you'll get much more enjoyment of your viewing.
This is as first caught my glimpse of this crazily fun movie (with a Spanish soundtrack to boot! Which is a cahoot! By the way, the guy who lent his voice for Dabney Coleman in the Spanish version was better in character than Dabney himself! Not with that silly southern drawl that seems to come and go without him noticing!) and found myself wondering what this silly thing I was watching and fully expecting what was at the next turn. Later I caught the first reels and that made the movie more solid, but were rather slow and disappointing. Personally, I cannot make better recommendation, specially for a movie that so pin-pointedly expressed my opinions of male ballet dancers. Rent it, follow instructions and enjoy!