danielcalegari Reviews

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

boring forgettable film

[3/10 · 19 May 2024]

It's another one of those films that you watch and soon forget, because it has nothing more than some beautiful landscapes, some special effects... and a story very basic (and stupid).

The biggest problem with the franchise is that it wears out.

How to create something new? Is this still possible?

There is a weak attempt to present us with an epic, but the focus is so reduced to a few characters that it ends up being the same as usual: a family drama. This is not a big kingdom, not a entire planet, it is just a small village of simians.

A big problem at this story: "this was somewhere in the future". But looks like only fews years after the last one movie, no more than one or two decades.

(alert! This is not a spoiler, just a brief resume)

The plot is very silly, simplistic and can be summarized in a short paragraph: a big bad monkey wants to be king of the apes, his buddies capture a clan of monkeys that raise american eagles (gosh!).

There is supposed to be some development, but it fails, the characters are flat.

Traces of Love (2024)

Good and funny, except the actor Porchat

[7/10 · 3 May 2024]

It's a good, funny film. The premise is that of a couple in love who have a song. Every time this song plays, wherever it is, the young man is transported to some moment in his life, to relive it and learn a lesson.

The problem is Fabio Porchat's exaggerated performance. He talks and gestures a lot, it's scandalous. And he says a lot of things, quickly, but unimportant.

Sandy acts reasonably, not bad, she could appear more.

Interestingly, the theme song is one of the most requested and sung at karaoke in Brazil.

New Brazilian movies are funny and light. If not, they are about poverty, violence, suburbs...

Smile (V) (2022)

Almost good except the ending...

[4/10 · 3 May 2024]

The ending is playing a funny music "lollipop lollipop boom boom boom" that has the meaning "please, smile while you leave the theater".

Well, the story is good enough till the last 15 minutes. You could imagine if it is going at the direction "crazy psychiatrist" or at the easy "ghost demon" type of movie.

But as a lot of people said "this movie has a lot of scaryjumps but the final moments are stupid and lazy".

I am happy to watch it at home and paying at cinema. It would cost too much money for what this show values.

Thank you IMDB. All reviews can give us an alert about what to expect.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

franchises are the bane of good films

[2/10 · 17 April 2024]

This "Ghostbusters Frozen" has everything bad that current new movies can have: a dysfunctional family, weird teenager, awkward young, an incompetent adult as a father, bizarre old people.

Some nostalgic items (old car, pistols) and current technology (flying drone, remote control car) are mixed to work together.

Lots of speech. They talk too much. Things about quantum physics... pure nonsense! And the Brazilian dubbing is horrible, really awful.

The worst of all is that from the beginning of the film ghosts appear, as if we live with them normally, and this takes away all the surprise. But it has a purpose: to sell gifts, dolls, collectibles.

Hot Skull (2022)

"A united people will never be defeated", bla bla blah!

[3/10 · 19 May 2023]

"A united people will never be defeated", bla bla blah!

This serie begins interesting, a very curious setup: some strange plague cause people to lost coherence and talk jabbering (chattering nonsense, disparates).

The world is devastated... well, just that city called Istambul... they never show other places.

There is some militar government, very dictatorial, as always. The major is Fazil, strong man, who loves the power.

And there are some nice guys, students at university, groupd at "Plus 1", trying to get back with democracy and freedom and boredom... calling people to march and begging for rights and law... And there is the radical group "Hawk Wing" going to more effect actions like bombs and killing some guards.

The main guy is Murat, he is very boring and imune to the desease, ok. But why? How? We follow him to discover that he was a scientist who participated in some "Project X"...

Ozgur is his friend, also scientist, great menthor, but he is very high at drugs... and his life has no meaning at all, like the episodes 4 and 5 of this serie.

Haluk is the main pacient, the craziest, maybe the 1st one of the pandemic... But he says nothing, just stay there in the void or at the dreams of Murat...

All these over long 8 episodes are just to tell almost nothing, like a over boring prelude, an introduction to something else that will never be delivered, because this serie will have no sequence, it is a total failure!

What a mess!

Nice idea but bad realization.

Open ending, hateful.

Red Rose (2022)

Hateful, you must be a hero to finish it

[1/10 · 2 April 2023]

It has an interesting begining but it just it, the 2nd episode is crap, absurd, messy.

When you mix teenagers using mobile phones and some strange app to talk from other world (demons or ghosts), what can you get?

Nothing really good as they keep doing stupid actions and the drama looks like those about summer school vacation.

I can not understand something: these teenagers are free to do everything, they have money and time, they dont have parents... But they are very short minded, almost zero knowledge about relationship, about danger and safety...

When I was young my mother used to say: do not walk alone in the dark, do not visit cemetery after midnight, be careful of strangers...

Re/Member (2022)

Boredom and meaningless

[1/10 · 26 February 2023]

There is nothing here, just a group of school teenagers traped in a temporal looping repeating the same day and get killed at night by a creature who came from nowhere to chase them while they search for parts of a body hidden at school biulding.

Does this make sense? No, it doesn't.

All of them are really uninsteresting and you don't care if someone is bleeding or cut in pieces.

Maybe there is a message about loniness while at school classes. The group once were stranges, after some nights they became friends. Oh, so sweet!

Final is a very bad happy end and you will be sleeping or just forgetting this movie.

Make My Day (2023– )

Drama at a planet full of worms

[1/10 · 11 February 2023]

Initially it looks good but after 2 episodes it is ruined! The creatures are never explained, but they float and are hungry.

If you get it in original dub, japanese, you feel like watching a drama, to much emotional, about stupid people doing a service to save a young woman giving birth to a baby. Forget the scifi context.

But... If you are watching in Brazilian dubbing, you have to hear that bad accent of Alexandre Moreno crying as dr. Boyd. Be careful, it is hateful.

This episode 7 could be cut off and nothing would be missing at the whole story.

Sometime animation get slow and tedious... Everybody is just chatting useless speech while trapped againg at some base, alone, as all others already have flied.

Then they get runing again to other place, just as before, very easy to find a truck or new ship.

Maybe the original japaneses mangá drawing is a bit more interesting...

Slumberland (2022)

Like "SOUL", try to be funny but failed, it could be better as drama

[5/10 · 6 January 2023]

This movie has the same problem as that other "Soul", it intends to approach a serious subjects in a light and funny way. What's the use of presenting psychological issues by making jokes each 5 minutes?! It could be a very profund drama, a great sad story... but they went to the easy path to sell pop corn for mass cinema (or streaming).

The girl, main character, has a mission and we already know she's going to succeed. There is a supporting pig is for nothing, maybe to sell dolls at cinema store.

That big Balboa tries to be funny... failed!

The movie is worth it for the visual effects.

But I doubt it will please children or someone searching for more than a afternoon entertainment.

The Last Shaman (2016)

Boring documentary about ayahuasca

[1/10 · 26 August 2022]

It is a very boring documentary about a rich young man searching a cure for his depression. Then he went to Peru and visit some shamanic healing centers... That is it.

If you had experienced daime in Brazil or if you know about neo-xamanism with ayahuasca, this movie has nothing new to show you, only some indegenous xamans praying and a lot of forest scenes.

Ayahuasca is DMT and it can cure depression and others.... But it is not related about religion, faith or what ever... DMT is like serotonin, that is it.

I was waiting to watch this movie at Netflix. I just forward it, fast.

Goedam (2020– )

Confuse short stories

[4/10 · 24 August 2022]

It could be really better if you watch backwards from ep 8 to 1. There are some hints, few, not enough to make sense. That is it, look like student work not finished yet...

Don't Kill Me (2021)

Zombie a la mozzarela

[6/10 · 22 August 2022]

It is not so bad.

A girl and her boyfriend died, she come back as zombie. There are some bloody deaths, some love and sex scenes. As usual.

But this movie is a bit different and not so bad, not too much cliche.

You maybe surprized.

But it is no all that good... 6 stars.

Archive 81 (2022)

Fast Forward, past by it and you lose nothing!

[2/10 · 7 August 2022]

Actor Mamoudou Athie is Dan Turner, a depressed man about his childhood and also very boring, he works watching old tapes and fixing them. He has only one expressionless face that you will see several times during the episodes: Dan is in the dark looking worriedly at the tv, he approaches screen and you can count the wrinkles on his face, something scary appears on and he jumps, and you wake up in the middle of the episode wondering if this boring show is still a long way off.

Dina Shihabi is Melody Pendras, a young woman very depressed about her childhood and also very boring, she works as amateur cinegraphist recording scenes and interviews in an old biulding where strange people lives. There is something evil there. Aliens, fungus, ancient entity... But who cares?!

Initial setup is interesting at 1st episode.

Sadly that's all. There are 7 episodes to test your paciency.

Archive 81: What Lies Beneath (2022) Season 1, Episode 8

Why?!

[1/10 · 7 August 2022]

Why Dan tried to save Melody first of all?

Why had other guy saved only Melody but not Dan?

Why this predictable ending? It was like "ah, forgive, we will have not a 2nd chance to continue this sht anyway, netflix cancelled it".

Gemini Man (2019)

Cgi video game

[3/10 · 7 August 2022]

It is just a long action video game of Will Smith fighting against himself. No plot at all.

And a very bad happy ending, as usual.

The girl is beautiful and they travel a lot by air plane like common people take a bus daily.

Spiderhead (2022)

Good concept poor execution

[4/10 · 7 August 2022]

People at high tech prison using drugs to mind control... Is it possible to believe? Ok, it is just a movie.

But why a happy end? Just to finish the movie light and "oh there is justice in the world"!

Deception, that is all.

A Perfect Enemy (2020)

Interesting, "good", except the ending

[5/10 · 7 August 2022]

The movie is interesting to watch: it is about a crazy girl talking to a man at an airport about her life that maybe is his life also... But the whole story is destroyed by a happy end like alot of movie like this always have been finished "oh, nothing of it happened, everything was just an illusion at someone mind".

Apollo 10½: A Space Age Childhood (2022)

if you are nostalgic and like space era 1968...

[4/10 · 20 June 2022]

It is a long documentary about a teenager who lived next to NASA and participated in one of the first lunar trips... Half of the film is him telling what life and boyhood were in those days (1968), in a nostalgic way that only Americans appreciate.

Pure boredom and superficialities like eating ice cream, going to the beach, watching 3 TV channels, playing board games, runing with friends on the street.

If you liked "Wonder Years", imagine a documentary about Kevin, without any plot drama or motivation.

That's what this filmed cartoon lacks: there is no tension or problem to be faced by the character.

It's just a long bad sequence of normal facts and some images about USA lunar space program.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Who Watches the Watchers (1989) Season 3, Episode 4

This is one of the worst...

[1/10 · 3 June 2022]

This one is so bad I promise stop watching STNG.

Bad write at all.

From begining till the end. Just blabla talking about prime directive and very silly stupid actions.

But fans love it and they gave all 10 notes!

Room (I) (2015)

Could be better

[5/10 · 15 May 2022]

Movie could be better if it has explained about the capture, the man, the family.... But it is too focused at the mother and boy relationship only.

Original voices are so annoing that I watched it dubbed, also very very bad!

Brightburn (2019)

Good idea... but just a weak movie

[6/10 · 15 May 2022]

The concept is that one of Super Man hero from space: he came in a small craft landed at some isolated farm in the Middle of nothing. A couple adopted him as their child. But as his powers increase, he became violent and malevolent, not to save our world but to dominate it.

Great! It is an interesting plot.

But it finishes too fast and it is very pooly executed.

To My Beloved (2015)

Interesting but... boring!

[5/10 · 15 May 2022]

The film tells the story of a man who loses his wife and discovers in her things some videotapes that show a betrayal. He sets out to seek revenge...

But the film is slow and boring, it tries to put too much focus at emotional dramas, without explaining actions and situations.

It's ok to leave something open, with a clue to viewer thinkg about it, but this feels like the whole movie is void and just a work yet to be finished. Trying to be an artistic film, it's not that cool, but arrogant and pretentious, haughty.

And as always at brazilian movies: the sound is so bad the sometimes you need legend to understand it. Why?! Are they using 1980 technology?

Te Prego Lá Fora (2021 TV Movie)

Try to be funny but fail

[2/10 · 15 May 2022]

During a weekend teenager Jesus and his cousin Lazarus go dancing party at school....

It could be funny and interesting but no way, it is just a mess of porn appealing jokes.

South Park: South Park: Post COVID (2021) Season 24, Episode 3

For fan only, not a stand alone movie.

[2/10 · 15 May 2022]

Just a long and tedious episode for the fans.

You have to watch the last seasons to get an idea of what happened.

The movie alone is not worth it.

It is not funny.

Choose or Die (2022)

Do not watch! Chose another movie or your are going to lose your time!

[2/10 · 2 May 2022]

Try to imagine a bad movie... full of references to an old text video game from the 80's that was just a text prompt and a question, whose answer also in text, took you to another riddle in the game... till the final prize.

Worst of all is that the film takes place nowadays, with teenagers who have cell phones and computers!

But as always everything works very well, from one platform to another, as if there was no incompatibility between Z80, i286, intel i3, MSDOS, Windows, Linux, Android... The personages are young people, programmers and hackers, they can easily read the game code! As if the Basic computer language was there in text format instead of various machine codes and ciphers, as it was usual in those days of 8bit processors.

Even in a complicated and dire situation, they find the courage to do the stupidest things, but it doesn't matter.

And what could be a reasonable movie at the end, after some explanation from mystery curse and hidden code, everything goes down with a happy ending and that cliché "will be continued" ...