imdb-9866 Reviews

Road House (2024)

just.. not good.

[5/10 · 26 March 2024]

This movie could have really been something. The original is wonderful 80s cheese to tee, but despite some good performances, the plot was so thin it was completely transparent.

I don't know what is with Hollywood and hiring people who can't act (Post Malone, Conor McGregor) because of star power, but it really needs to stop. Both of their performances were laughable. Fortunately in the case of the former, it's short.

That said, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jessica Williams, Arturo Castro, and Hannah Lanier all turned in excellent performances.

But it's not really worth watching in the end. There are a few parts you can chuckle at, and it's fun watching Conor McGregor play a sociopath (though that's not really acting for him), but your time is better spent watching and appreciating the original again.

BASEketball (1998)

This movie is *wildly* underrated.

[10/10 · 7 November 2023]

Look: if you turn this movie on expecting a cinematic masterpiece, you're already in the wrong place.

But if you go into it expecting a hilarious, infinitely quotable, silly, dumb movie that will make you laugh for an hour and a half, then this is a fantastic movie.

For starters, the cameos by Al Michaels,Bob Costas, Ernest Borgnine, and Robert Stack are worth the price of admission by themselves.

Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Dian Bachar are comedic geniuses who deliver hilarious lines literally through the entire movie. There are no low points.

It is (as one might expect) a little light on the actual plot. There definitely is one, and it works, but it's really not the point at all. The movie is basically a series of hilarious, filthy, low brow, stupid, unbelievable events.

I have a few 'go to' stupid movies to put on when I just want to laugh, and this is high on that list.

Dude, I love hospitals!

No you don't, you love Taco Bell!

Benjamin (II) (2019)

Unwatchable.

[2/10 · 31 October 2019]

This movie is just abysmal. It's like it has no idea what it wants to do.

The story line is absurd, the characters are absurd, it's all over the place, and it's just.. not good. Don't waste your time on this movie. Seriously. You'll regret it.

Only gave it a 2 instead of a 1 because Dave Foley and Cheri Oteri are absolutely wonderful in this movie. They almost make it watchable.

Just kidding: it's dreck.

Tango & Cash (1989)

I love the hell out of this movie.

[10/10 · 4 March 2015]

This was the first real action flick I ever watched as a kid, so maybe it's nostalgia.

Maybe instead, it's all of the awesome one-liners in this movie.

Don't get me wrong: this is a super campy 80s action flick, and the cheese is very thick.

But it's still an absolutely wonderful movie.

Between Brion James' laughably bad cockney accent, to Jack Palance's eminent awesomeness, this movie has everything: completely unnecessary nudity, plenty of profanity, people jumping from explosions, and a little bit of the awesome Clint Howard!

This is one of the few movies I can watch again and again and again.

So if you want an evening with a little bit of 80s campiness, and you've already watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles recently, this movie's for you.

The Animal (2001)

God awful.

[1/10 · 5 October 2013]

I'm usually laughed at by my friends for liking Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider movies.

This one, however, is bad. And it's not so bad that it's funny again. It's just bad.

The jokes fall flat, the premise isn't funny, the plot sucks; it's just unwatchable.

John McGinley is the only slightly funny thing about it, and Norm MacDonald's 45 on-screen seconds are funny. That's it.

If you want a Rob Schneider movie worth watching, try Deuce Bigelow. This one will just leave you annoyed you wasted your time.

Dads (I) (2013–2014)

This show is /bad/.

[1/10 · 26 September 2013]

With all the talent of Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi, this show is just god awful.

The jokes are flat, it offers nothing but lame one-liners that aren't even slightly funny, (despite the constant idiotic laugh track -- it's 2013, can we ditch these please?), the characters aren't likable, there's no semblance of a plot anywhere, and it provides no laughs whatsoever.

I haven't even so much as smirked at a single joke in this show.

Another huge swing and a miss for Fox. I suppose this means they'll renew it for another 7 seasons.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Honestly the worst movie I've ever been subjected to.

[1/10 · 13 January 2010]

AI is one of the few movies that made me cry.

Because it robbed me of 2.5 hours of my life I will never get back.

Just when you think the movie is over, it keeps going.

And it sucks. Really, really, really bad.

The plot is idiotic, the story is unbelievable (and not in a good way), the movie doesn't end, and it jumps off into these really unbelievable, weird twists that my 8-year-old son would be annoyed with.

AI redefined 'bad movie' in my vocabulary. Everything else that was a 0 instantly became a 3 because this movie was in its own league of awful.

It's kind of funny that the movie is called 'AI' because you'll need some new intelligence to replace the dead brain cells created by this pile of junk.