jensmahlernielsen Reviews

The Creator (2023)

Very disturbing but unsatisfying SF.

[1/10 · 20 January 2024]

This is a sad movie in many ways:

It exploits the sufferings of the South East Asian people in the China-American wars.

The antagonist is a big floating Tesla emblem.

Whats with the hollow heads.

There is no sign of the philosophy of or the rules fo the source-code that would support the peace-loving AIs/androids/mechanics/robots.

The main character Alphie has less charm than a green rubber doll.

Whats with hollow heads?

HAL had more presence than any Ais in this film.

The imagery of the film is unimaginative - nothing new! Having reviewed thi 4K disc multiple times I still feel hungry for new concepts - a hunger easily satisfied with a review of 2001, Alien, Bladerunner and mostly Ex Machina.

... Artificial Intelligence is a great idea - but does it have to be artificial?.

The Northman (2022)

SAXO revisited

[9/10 · 1 January 2024]

Being danish and in process of re-reading SAXOs Gesta Danorum - The Chronicles of the Danes - I am very pleased with the imagery and characters of this film. The Northman doesn't boast of the foundation in the year 1200 story of the danes, but even if the manuscript is a cut & paste rendering of the chronicles mixed with the icelandic sagaes and baltic druidism it still rings true.

The best thing is that Amleth gets a glorious death. Saxos Amleth just fizzles out and Shakespeares Hamlet is reduced to a disgruntled teen-ager.

The norwegian Louis Mode made a series of illustrations for the 1898 danish version - they get new life after having seen this film.

Iron Fist (2017–2018)

Kung Fu devoid of Chi

[1/10 · 9 August 2022]

Moronic scripting and acting. Only glimpse of Kung Fu is the episode 1.8 Drunken Master fight - a short segment but worth watching. The comic was stylishly penciled, this show is just bland and Danny Rand a moron.

Iron Fist: The Blessing of Many Fractures (2017) Season 1, Episode 8

Lewis Tan fights Drunken Master style

[10/10 · 9 August 2022]

The only watchable fight of the series. Lewis Tan is amazingly graceful and totally at ease fighting the drunken master style. Reminds me of the grace of David Carradine of the Kung Fu series. Only episode above 5⭐

Inhumans: Something Inhuman This Way Comes... (2017) Season 1, Episode 5

Plodding with the F4 wannabees.

[2/10 · 11 February 2022]

The primary attraction to the comic was the sexy Medusa with the fantastic hair. But when your CGI budget is wasted on the dog you just shave Medusa for the whole season. What a waste if time.

The Expanse: Redoubt (2021) Season 6, Episode 4

Hard Hat SciFi

[10/10 · 31 December 2021]

Just as the action slows down Naomi catches her cup falling as freefall is replaced by a burn. These underplayed moments of space physics makes the series the best Scifi since 2001: a Space Odessey.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Full fathom five

[10/10 · 20 December 2021]

The original Pirates Trilogy is a swashbucklers delight. This is what you get when you mix barrels of rum, bales of opium and end stage syphilis - delightful! Johnny Depp is perfect! Syphilitic chanker on his jaw and tabes dorsalis almost not noticed in this over the top (edge) performance. Bill Neighys performance is equally magnificient. The sea-changes would have made Shakespeare envious: Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made; Those are pearls that were his eyes: Nothing of him that doth fade, But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange.

Life (I) (2017)

10 stars for silenzing Ryan Reynolds

[10/10 · 12 December 2021]

Cool hardhat sci fi yarn with a nicely guarded twist. Reynolds shuts up !!!! Useable newtonian physics and visualization of a working spacelab. Reynolds shuts up !!!!

Jungle Cruise (2021)

JungleTubbies

[1/10 · 17 October 2021]

Just like eating fastfood you feel cozy in a river of clichées from any adventure movie from the last 100 years. Only 4 screenwriters are credited - it should have been all or none.

The indigenous people and their culture is portraited as phony and easily totally obliterated (twice in the movie).

It is OK to have an amazon ride in Disneyland but putting Disneyland rides in the Amazon is so not 2021 - and feels like Preparation for Appropriation. The Amazon indigenous people are few and precious.