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Reviews
Undead (2003)
A fun zombie film
A great gory zombie flick with a tiny budget. How could this be not worth watching? This film delivers in every cheesy department there is. Tons of gore? Check. Cheesy one-liners? Check. Defying the laws of gravity? Check. Homage to Romeros work? Check. These guys know where this genre came from and what it means in this modern day. Using such a tiny budget for the films advantage is an achievement all by itself, but making a very good movie with it is shows true enjoyment and love for the 7th art for both the filmmakers making it and the audience watching it. Watch this film with your friends who are aware what trash means and for what it stands for and you're all bound to crack up with this gem. This film reminds me a lot of "Evil Aliens" so if you haven't seen it and have enjoyed "Undead" be sure to watch it as well.
9/10
Frailty (2001)
See it
Well this movie is that good that it doesn't need a lot of words, its very watchable and enjoyable. Like those two little boys who acted their little hearts out. Of course both the script and Bill Paxton as a director work very well. The story is dark and disturbing and has a great twist at the end. Of course this unexpected twist doesn't make an enjoyable second sighting but that is as expected. What this movie lacks with its great atmosphere is more on screen violence. Most of the violence is off screen except for the very end. Since they already slapped the rating on the film, it couldn't have hurt to put more gore in it. I wonder why they didn't. Well anyway, this film is a great, not so gory but disturbing, experience. It works well with substandard film-making formulas and makes it an enjoyable experience. Rent the DVD or video of it if you didn't see it. It's well worth it
Frequency (2000)
Everyone will like it
This is a great movie. It doesn't let down in any aspect. It gets its hold on you from the very begging and doesn't let you down until the end. The characters are very well developed and the casting is on the same level. Not only that they look like New Yorkers but they sound like them too. The acting is excellent and you can feel for the characters and care what happens to them thanks to that. The best part of the movie is its story, which goes on on many levels, leaving you eager for more throughout the films duration and satisfied at the end of it. The director didn't get in the way of the story either, he leads you through it with flare and tells it very well. Dennis Quaide and Jim Caviezel both gave great performances, but IMO Jim Caviezel eventually excelled and took the cake there although Quaide was right behind him giving a very very good performance overall. I really cant think of any bad things in the movie that would deserve to lower the rating I'm going to give it.
10/10 stars and a definite must see for everyone. Because everyone will like this movie, thats just the way it is.
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Moderatly enjoyable
I just saw it and being two AM here i might as well write something about it.
Of course I didn't watch the show the movie was based on being Croatian and all. All in all, I think only Mad Max has a cooler car than those two lucky bastards (complete with the confederate flag and all it really is a sort of an epitaph to cool). I always thought Jessica Simpson is pretty hot, so only thing left to do after seeing this movie is imagining a hard core porno version of the movie. Not only her but all the chicks in this movie are hot. The movie has good and greasy car chase sequences so you can almost smell the oil when you see them. In fact the car chasing parts are the best part of the film. I liked the opening bar brawl sequence as well.
On the other hand, jokes could be better, and the slapstick comedy parts aren't that funny. I could really feel huge unused potential in Willie Nelsons constant jokes. If only they'd been funnier. The only one consistently funny character is the dorky sheriffs deputy Enos Strate (Michael Weston). Not only that everyone pronounces his name Anus :) but he really played his part as well. Sean William Scott had his moments too, but in my opinion they were too rare. I didn't expect much of the story but i got a little disappointed there anyway. Way too weak. The actors didn't do much acting, except Burt Reynolds who was as good as ever. Jessica Simpson cant act and thats a fact, but who cares, shes hot and can get away with it. I think she didn't even try to act anyway. Why act when you're that hot? I would put her in every movie just to see that hot body over and over and over again.
This movie is stupid don't get me wrong, but I wasn't bored watching it for what it is: an absolute nobrainer. If you go into it not expecting anything at all like i did, you wont be disappointed or disgusted by the movie. On the other hand if you expect anything, anything at all your fire will soon be put out.
It is quite possible to enjoy The Dukes Of Hazzard with your brain on standby.
BloodRayne (2005)
Some of it really cracked me up
Where to start with this one? I'll point out that i watched it only because i heard that Kristanna Loken shows her boobies here. I didn't play the game nor have i known anything about the plot from that point of view. So i'm writing this solely on the movie experience.
I must point out that the movie has its good sides.
Most notably Ben Kingsleys horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE wig. I couldn't stop myself to burst into laughter anytime he was on screen. Its simply hilarious and worth the admission price alone.
Another good thing is the guy with the mullet (Matthew Davis). He looked almost as ridiculous as Ben Kingsley with a wig. By the way, I had no idea that mullets were that popular in 19th century Romania but the filmmakers sure proved me wrong. Maximum respect for the mullet Matthew, wear it proudly.
Of course you do get to see Kristanna Lokens boobs in a raunchy, makes no sense at all, sex scene so that also is a good thing.
I must point out that fight scenes, although they occur pretty rarely, are pretty rich with gore. They really surprised me there and i must say that i wasn't disappointed by that aspect of the movie. And you wont be either. Of course if you aren't into the bloody mess type of stuff the fight scenes will suck. But hey, who isn't into bloodbaths anyway? So some really good stuff there as well.
Now for the not so great aspects of the movie.
First of all the dialogs are completely and utterly, mind numbingly stupid. Its like a 6 year old wrote all the dialogs. The screenplay is very bad too. Think "American Ninja 2" in 19th century Romania when you think about the screenplay and dialogs in the movie. Really, really naive and infantile stuff there. Also they stole one ninja trick from American Ninja 2, you'll see it in one of the final scenes in the movie. I guess you could call it a homage to it though. Come to think of it, no, you couldn't. Its just plane old plagiarism.
Acting sucks too. Ben Kingsley just stares in the camera with his bad wig, Kristanna Loken does a lot of moaning and thats about it. Don't expect wonders from Michael Madsen either. Billy Zane does his thing regardless of anything, so if you like his style he could be acceptable. I like it.
Oh yeah, they have a MeatLoaf cameo. Now thats what i call weak. Then again, the topless babes in his scenes totally make up for his fat ass.
The director Uwe Boll isn't really that bad as people say he is. He gave us blood and tits, yes. And in a pretty good way, i might add. But he delivered nothing more. Blood and tits go without saying for modern day directors anyway. So i'll point out that he sucks as well but not as much as meatloaf.
Although this movie is really bad I'm not sorry i watched it. If you want watch it and if you'll appreciate the trashy aspects in the movie you wont be sorry either.
I'll give this one a 4/10.