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Reviews
Spaceman (2024)
Woodn't you like to go to the Chopra Cloud?
Spaceman should have been a movie I loved. It's got a great setting, great visuals, and has some genuinely compelling bits (Hanus, an eldritch space spider who's also a traveler). I don't mind a slow pace in my movies, and didn't mind the pace of Spaceman.
Unfortunately, the way Adam Sandler delivers his lines is so wooden, that it completely takes all the emotional impact out of the story. I understand that he is supposed to be the ultimate loner, but as the movie progresses, and he is learning the error of his ways, his expressiveness never really changes. I'm not sure whether it was a deliberate choice, but everything felt as if he was reading off of a teleprompter, or queue cards. His little "No, no, no..." as Hanus turned into maggots perfectly encapsulates this. All of his lines are very quiet, and rigid. His dialogue honestly reminds me of an ASMR video.
I really want to love this movie. I thought every other actor nailed their parts, but Adam left me feeling Lost in Space.
Hoax (2019)
Not what I expected, but fun.
I refrained from reading reviews about Hoax before I watched it. I was looking for some Sasquatch related horror, and so it seemed I had found what I was looking for.
Right away, I could tell that this was gonna be a little different than what I had hoped for...
Hoax is honestly pretty silly, but in all the right ways. It's like an homage to the B-movies of my youth. Some nudity, some gore, some guns, something in the woods, and lots of cheese.
I thought that the actors portrayal of their characters was not bad at all, with the leader of the group definitely being the most over the top, but I honestly felt like it added to my enjoyment by keeping it light. None of the lines were delivered with much gravitas, but again, I really think it worked.
Hoax has got an assortment of characters; washed up douchebag tv guy desperate to finally get his break, retired military veteran (discount Jocko Willink) hired on as "protection", a primatologist/biologist who's also a medical doctor (?) and really gets worked up about footprints, a camera guy who's got jokes, a cowboy who's lost somethin', an influencer "journalist", a hippie cryptozoologist/bigfoot enthusiast, a helicopter pilot who's also prior military, and some sorta assistant guy who rides a quad. Neat.
It seemed to me like the movie was never trying to take itself too seriously, otherwise this probably would have been hard to get through. Hoax never felt like it was trying to really scare me, either. There were a couple jump scares, but nothing egregious. The practical effects were alright, the "blood" didn't look bad, neither did any of the wounds, and I thought the creature effects were just fine.
The movie takes a twist at the end, and looking through other reviews, it's a rather unpopular one. Fair enough. I thought it added to Hoax's silliness, and I laughed out loud a few times in the last 10-15 minutes.
Despite all the silliness, I did find some of the landscape shots to look great, and shots of the helicopter also looked really good.
I also appreciated the radio chatter, "Go for _____.", and no mentions of "10-4." or "Over." Seems like someone involved has used radio communications as part of a job or volunteer (SAR).
I thought Hoax was fun, but a serious or scary movie it was not. That said, it's one you can just shut your brain off for and enjoy. If you're looking for some good Sasquatch related horror without the cheese, watch Willow Creek.
Mama (2013)
Mamageddon.
I'm a believer in the "less is more" approach for most horror movies. This movie did a great job with that for maybe the first 30-45 minutes. The story isn't really anything terribly original, but that's okay, because I felt that the acting was mostly pretty good, even if it was hard to suspend my disbelief at times. The movie's got good ambiance, and a fine score.
In the first half of the movie, I found the brief, and blurry glimpses of Mama to be fairly spooky. Even more effective were her noises, particularly the angry cat growl or whatever. We got to see her far too soon in the movie, if you ask me, but that's fairly small 'taters compared to my chief complaint.
Unfortunately we see Mama way too much in the second half of the movie. Her effectiveness evaporates against poorly done cgi, zany antics, and wacky body horror. I literally laughed out loud at the hair moving across the floor towards the aunt, and pretty much any time I saw Mama's stupid face.
There was a lot of suspension of disbelief, and some fairly glaring plot holes, but honestly this movie would probably be a 5 for me if it weren't for Mama's massive amount of screen time. (I know, her name is in the title.)
I don't mind it if every question doesn't have an answer, and I can forgive some silliness when it comes to character decisions (even you, Dr. Dreyfuss), but less is more when it comes to horror, especially if your titular character is funny lookin'.
Also, I thought the ending sucked.
Hunting Bigfoot (2021)
Mockumentary, but still worth a watch.
I went in to this completely oblivious to the fact that it wasn't an actual documentary. Normally Bigfoot documentaries are pretty lame, and full of cheese, but I still watch them because "I want to believe." When this one was over I told my wife it was probably the best Bigfoot documentary I'd ever seen...
Then I found out it wasn't real, but that's okay. It was very believable to me, and a very enjoyable watch. It basically tracks an aging widower as he descends deep into isolation in his pursuit of a primate. If you want a true documentary, this isn't what you want.
However, if you enjoy the subject of Bigfoot, and the people who search for them, I think that Hunting Bigfoot is absolutely worth the watch. It's a sad, and lonely story that was shot very well, and acted incredibly well. Would love to see more stuff from the director, and things in this vein!
Also, can we get John Green's workout regime? Dude's built like a Sasquatch!
Raccoon Valley (2018)
Quiet, in a good way.
I really enjoyed this movie. It's slow, and quiet, with very little dialogue except for the beginning. This is definitely not a movie for people who want a lot of action, or violence. I enjoyed the pacing of the story, and was really satisfied with the way it ended, unlike other reviewers. Not every question gets answered, and that's just fine.