dbh850 Reviews

All Creatures Great and Small (2020– )

All the joy is GONE!!!! This is dead from the gate.

[1/10 · 26 January 2021]

The books are an utter delight. The original TV series sublime. Full of light and joy and love! At least, the first three seasons. Then they swapped the Helen actress and she was deadly dull. Shame.

But this series - I was SO EXCITED to see it - but from the very get-go, it is dead. Dead at the starting gate. Sigfried is a JERK. From the start. None of the exasperating, contradictory charm of Robert Hardy's version of him. And the other characters - there's no LIFE in them!

I'm terribly disappointed. I won't be watching the rest of it. Saw episode one - horrid. Slogged through episode two - no improvement.

Awful, awful, awful. I'm rewatching the original series. THAT one is lovely.

Bridgerton (2020– )

BRILLIANT AND TIMELY

[10/10 · 1 January 2021]

I LOVE it. I see so many reviews complaining that this adaptation isn't true to the books and some references to issues of race, complaining of political correctness.

Whilst I am a lover of literature and deeply love many books, I'm mostly happy with this adaptation. That said, I am very hard on adaptations of my favorite book, Jane Eyre. So I'll own my hypocrisy here.

I LOVE the casting. There is real chemistry between the actors and the characters are entirely believable. I love the racial diversity. If we are going to be historically accurate regarding race, only Whites can play these characters. Ever. I find that disturbing. Why shouldn't we have different races playing these beloved characters? This is an adaptation! I'm White, of British heritage, born in 1954 America, and have watched with my heart breaking whilst racial issues continue to roil. I don't like seeing Black actors only get roles as servants, slaves, or sharecroppers - downtrodden and poor - in historical pieces.

My only complaint, and this may be simply my age, is that there's more sex than I care to see. The kissing Foley (sounds) in film is like chalk screeching on a chalkboard to me. So I skipped ahead during those scenes. I am NOT bothered by interracial sex scenes - just didn't care for the duration of those scenes in the same way I wouldn't like it if all players were White. It's just not my thing.

I LOVE the writing, the casting, the energy, the chemistry, the directing, the costumes, the cinematography - ALL of it. Love it. It's a brilliant adaptation - and ADAPTATION. Not a perfect replication.

It's wonderful.

Little Women (2017)

Audition readings of a beloved book

[3/10 · 10 November 2020]

I'm stunned at this production. I had SOOOO been looking forward to it! And I always, always love BBC productions. This was stunningly disappointing.

Right at the get-go, the actors sound like they are doing a first read-through of something they've never seen. None of the youthful exuberance you expect. That opening line in the book about Christmas not being Christmas without presents is delivered absolutely flat - like a high schooler reading a line she's never seen.

I couldn't believe it!

It was a good start - sets you up to expect an awful production. There certainly were highlights and good bits. Emily Watson and Angela Lansbury were wonderful - as always. Dylan Baker NEVER disappoints, but his role was so small.

I must blame the director, I suppose. There's no chemistry - no heart. The best I've seen is the 1994 version and it remains the best.

Very, very disappointed. And absolutely shocked. Did anyone in this thing ever actually read the book?...

The Love Letter (1998 TV Movie)

Extremely good for Hallmark

[9/10 · 23 August 2020]

For a Hallmark film, it really surprised me. I like the story very much. The music at the very beginning of the film is absolutely terrible. Yes, it's a 1998 film, but we DID have good music then, and Bob Cobert (composer) studied at Julliard - and he wrote quite a lot of good music. Just not the beginning of the film.

I like the time travel aspect of this romance story and enjoyed the film. Particularly for being a Hallmark film.

The Legend of 5 Mile Cave (2019)

For simpler minds

[2/10 · 30 July 2020]

Simple plot. Ok for simple-minded fare. Dialogue needs work - words and phrases they didn't use then. Costumes are terrible - all clean and new - except for a couple of bad guys, of course. Perfectly white, straight teeth, makeup on the women. Beautifully trimmed beards and eyebrows. Everyone is VERY clean. Roads and town streets perfectly flat.

People of that time had clothing that was very worn and stained and their normal daily wear looked pretty rough. They were dirty most of the time and very scraggly looking. Their hair was not perfectly quaffed and beards were not trimmed. Only the girls of ill repute wore makeup and their hair was very simply bound so it would not get in their way while they worked. Some terrible riding - arms flapping. Ridiculous. A guy leaves his horse in the desert when he climbs into a moving stagecoach??? If I were 9, I would like it. As an adult, it's awful. Check out "Open Range." Much better AND family-friendly.

Sanditon (2019–2023)

If you love Austin, DO NOT WATCH

[3/10 · 25 February 2020]

I love, love, love Austin. And I was very much looking forward to this. I never read the book - just read those first 24,000 words that Austin wrote.

I was ready for a more modern take on it. There were some sexual themes that were a bit jarring for Austin but I am aware that people DID have sex, so I accepted it.

The step siblings... that was a bit creepy. No, not a bit. It was creepy. But I accepted that.

I loved bringing racial themes into the story. That was appreciated.

I loved the energy between the two leads. I liked how the young man who was keenly interested in our heroine recognized right off she loved another and took it gracefully, square on the chin. Didn't make a fool of himself. I appreciated that.

Although it wasn't extremely Austin-like, I enjoyed it. And then came... THE END.

WHAT were they THINKING?!?!?? I'm disgusted. We need to see the two main characters, whom we grew attached to and whom we saw develop in their relationship for the entire series - TOGETHER.

THAT is what we expect from Austin stories. I'm disgusted.

A Promise to Astrid (2019)

Um... only watch if you're Christian

[2/10 · 2 January 2020]

It's a faith-based film. If you don't like them, you likely won't care for this one. That said, it's probably the best (least ghastly) faith-based film I've seen.

The acting was good enough, considering their short (or no) experience and the obvious low budget. I have NO problem with low budget films. In fact, I rather enjoy them - I feel like I might just be seeing early work of an unknown master. So I give them a chance and don't much care if they don't have funds for all the best stuff.

That said, who the hell let JoAnn F. Peterson wear that wig?!?!!! It looked absurd and was quite distracting. Pretty much any person you find walking down the sidewalk could find a better wig for her. It made it a bit hard to look at her, which is a shame. She is new to acting and I thought she did a good job.

It's a sweet story and just the thing for a particular kind of Christian. But if you're looking for depth or complexity, this isn't your story.

Falling for Christmas (2016 TV Movie)

**IF THE ICE IS CRACKING, LIE DOWN!!!!

[4/10 · 12 December 2019]

I hate it when the protagonists in film are idiots.

The film is a bit of fluff, forgettable, perfect if you're sick in bed and don't want to do much thinking.

Actors did well with what they had. I always like films including my own sports - I did a LOT of skating when I was young. And... that's a problem here. The skating was TERRIBLE. I'm 65 - I would have been a better stunt double than the actress was as a skater, and that's absolutely terrible. Why didn't they hire someone who can truly skate?

ANY winter sport athlete knows to check ice before getting on it. And we ALL know that if ice is cracking, you LIE DOWN to distribute your weight and reduce the VERY high PSI from standing. In this ridiculous bit, the professional skater is "frozen" in fear when the ice starts to crack. Really?? She's a pro and doesn't know what to do on cracking ice? And the man, MUCH heavier than she, walks to her, PICKS HER UP, and carries her off? MASSIVELY increasing the PSI. They both would have been in the water. That drove me bats, I'm afraid.

The lttle girl is cute but not off-puttingly so. Actors have fairly good chemistry. Sets are nice. Location is good. Script/dialogues made me cringe a bit. I despise "cute" comments. Oi.

Nice, benign story and benign happy ending. Sometimes you're in the mood for that.

A Path in Time (2005 Video)

TERRIBLE writing, acting, directing, camera - FUNDAMENTALIST RELIGIOUS PROSELYTIZING

[1/10 · 9 December 2019]

I didn't know this was a Christian movie. I thought it was sci-fi. I should have read the description. That's on me.

Within a few minutes, it was easy to see that everything about this film is terrible, starting with the writing. The acting was so stiff and unnatural - very poorly written dialogue and absolutely terrible delivery. They looked like 6th graders reading through lines that they didn't understand.

The directing was terrible... was there a director at all? A person who actually can SEE what's happening? The camera work is possibly the worst I've seen. I couldn't stick with it through the whole thing. It just was too ghastly.

I wouldn't mind a faith-based movie if the movie itself was good, but it seems they are always the worst ones. I don't know why this is, but it's long puzzled me. In the first few minutes, I thought "this is as bad as a faith-based movie." Then came a line about God and... that's when I knew it was hopeless.

I was hoping for an indie sci-fi story. Some of those are quite good, without expensive equipment and effects. Young filmmakers starting out can come up with some truly creative stories. This was nothing like that.

Don't spend any time on this awful, awful film. Do ANYTHING instead. Count grains of rice in a bag. Speculate about how many drops of water make a gallon. Read up on the history of Tanzania. Watch your fingernails grow. Just... don't watch this film. Protect your brain!

Civil Love (2012 Video)

Watch paint dry, instead. Seriously.

[1/10 · 21 October 2019]

Simply everything about this film is terrible. The acting, the directing, the camerawork - even the sets and costumes are terrible. The costumes are bizarrely perfect and clean. The roads are flat. The makeup is clearly modern with a shocking lack of the kinds of dirty hair and faces, rough hands, and dirty fingernails you would expect to see in those people.Even the buildings are astoundingly pristine with fresh-cut wood, perfectly square walls, doorways, etc., fresh paint - with VERY few exceptions. Even the tack and saddle blankets for the horses are nice and new - perfect.

Life was rough at that time/place and almost NOTHING was clean and pristine. I understand not blacking and staining teeth for authenticity. In modern times, that would distract us and look ridiculous. But the perfect and spotless costumes? And EVERYONE having very clean hair in the winter in those days? Do the filmmakers have ANY clue how much work it was to bathe in those conditions? C'mon!

As for the acting, what can I say? It's... it's ghastly. The actors' lines are recited like they are being read by the actors for the second time. Ever. The acting is absolutely terrible and it's painful to watch. I really wanted to like this. I watched it with my 87 y.o. dad, and even HE had these observations. "Don't these filmmakers know the people were dirty, the clothes were worn and stained, and the roads were full of ruts and holes? He's 98 and he observed that. Astounding.

The story was weak, but I'll say this - it was the least terrible thing about this absolutely ghastly film.

The film is awful, awful, awful. Watch that paint dry. Or count the loops in your carpet. Either one would be much more rewarding.

Fractured (I) (2019)

Great acting. Cynical, depressing story. I want my time back.

[1/10 · 17 October 2019]

I hate stories that end in a cynical narrative. I like thrillers. I like mysteries. But I despise cynical stories.

I don't like to hang with the protagonist, hope for him, feel empathy for him, and then at the end - WHAM! He failed or he's an awful person or he's... something bad.

I want my time back. Maybe I should research plot spoilers before watching a movie. I like something uplifting or thoughtful. This was neither. It was a cynical, convoluted attempt to be deep, I suppose. Or it was simply an attempt to entertain. Nothing wrong with that! I like being entertained. But I really dislike being led down a path, hoping our protagonist really is the good guy he sees himself as, and learning the opposite.

The Penitent Man (2010)

Good storytelling on a budget - AMAZING work by a very young filmmaker

[9/10 · 28 July 2019]

I thought it was an excellent story line. Science fiction has long told stories about time travel, usually venturing into the philosophical. This story isn't deep, but I enjoyed it. And I like when we explore these questions - what might the consequences be of something like time travel? It's a great question and I always enjoy the different takes on it.

This film was made on a low budget, in the very limited time of a working man, who was VERY young. Not even 25 years of age yet. I find that remarkable. It's a good story, well executed. Much of the film was dialogue in an office - that's a HUGE challenge and it was quite well done. The few here who are harshly criticizing it are failing to recognize the huge challenges and the creativity and artistry of this project. No doubt, they would have shredded Spielberg's early work.

I'm quite impressed with writer/director/producer Nicholas Gyeney. I came upon this film looking through Amazon scifi and almost didn't watch it. I'm so glad I did!

My criticisms: I wish the protagonist wasn't a psychologist - he was written so unprofessionally. I hate that. Make him a neighbor, a friend, a bartender - ANY person who can listen with curiosity. Filmmakers can't know this - it would be good for them to consult with someone about this. But maybe I'm being overly sensitive.

The character says black holes are theoretical. They aren't. In 1971, we had an observation of the first black hole (Cygnus X-1) - astronomers observed that the x-rays coming from the direction of a bright blue star whirling around a dark object. They knew that was a black hole. For storytelling, it's a good idea to research these things - it would only take a couple of minutes on Google.

I don't like cynical endings, so I hated the way the protagonist just tossed the tape into the trash so someone could pluck it out. He would have pulled out the tape and cut it into a zillion pieces. And then burn them. So then the wife takes it from the trash and that's the end. I don't like those kinds of endings. That's just me.

Some here are criticizing the low budget. Okay - so if you don't have 10 million dollars for your project, should you not make it? C'mon! It's art. I love seeing these low budget films - sometimes you find an amazing story.

Overall, I liked it. It was a pleasure. Didn't care a whole lot for the psychologist and the acting of the young couple could have been a bit more natural; the older actor, Lance Henriksen, was perfect.

It's early days for filmmaker Nicholas Gyeney - this was in 2010 - he would have been in his early 20s when he made this film. That's AMAZING! I think we're going to see some interesting things coming from his pen and camera. I'm going to watch some of his other work.

Life Itself (2018)

Absolute Beauty

[10/10 · 28 December 2018]

I don't understand the critics; this film was so badly panned by the professional critics. Are they utterly lacking a heart? A SOUL?

It is a story of surpassing beauty; a story of several generations of a family. It is a story of people who, like everyone, have some tragedies in their family and cope with them in the best ways that they know how to.

Although the lack of specific demarcations of time is listed as a goof, that just doesn't make sense to me. It is clear that the film moves through generations and I had no trouble keeping up with it. Quite a few films are like that; I cannot understand how that is listed here as a goof. The story tells you when - and the different people.

The writing was so beautiful - the direction and camera work were artful and added so much to the experience. The music was flawless. The story, like real life, had some heartbreak but it also had nobility and kindness and most of all, love.

Not every film is for everyone. Some people will have high praise for a horror film - a genre I despise. We're all different - but I cannot understand the criticism of this breathtaking work of art.

I know I will watch it many times. It is, in a word, beautiful.

The Handmaid's Tale (2017– )

Should have stopped at two seasons

[1/10 · 7 July 2018]

Season one held my interest. It was fresh and unique and painted a great picture of religion gone amuck. I loved the trip to Canada - brilliantly done. I loved how the Mexicans who visited showed no empathy for the handmaids, illustrating just how alone they were. I loved the anger and tension between Offred (June) and Serena, the growing love in Nick, the way June handled so many people and was as helpful as possible to the other handmaids.

BUT - as dystopian worlds go, enough is enough. In season two, when June gets away and has the baby and then has to go BACK? I felt like I had enough. I know the book ends dysmally and I absolutely hated the ending. I was encouraged to read that the director of this show feels the same way. But my god! Enough is enough. It's become a string of episodes depicting misery - even shot on dark sets. It is depressing, dismal, and feels utterly hopeless. I think it's dragging out too much and would love to see it end in season two.

As iMDB got rid of the discussion boards (NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!), I can't discuss this with anyone. I would love to say these things and read the opinions of others. I loved that. There are always those rude people who would tell me to grow up or to stick with "unicorns and rainbows." But many more will engage in meaningful discussion and I miss that SO MUCH. I learned tons of things from people who disagreed with my opinion on iMDB. Okay - enough whining.

Everyone is in their own place in life. I have a career that immerses me in the pain of others. I see much of suffering and have to diagnose and explain absolutely terrible illnesses. So yeah, unicorns and rainbows are nice for me. I do not need "realistic" dystopia for my entertainment. I do enjoy dystopic stories - loved The Hunger Games - but they had HOPE. This thing is just a looooong experience of being stuck in deep, dark, depressing mire.

I'm weary of it. Knocked my original rating from 10 to 4. Wrap it up already, guys. Or give us more bits of HOPE.

Siren (2018–2020)

Fairly good TV - better than most

[7/10 · 1 May 2018]

I like it - fresh new idea. Mermaids and marine biologists wrestling with fishermen and big gubm'nt dudes. It's pretty good. Not the best but by FAR not the worst.

It is written for a younger audience. I like the protagonists and I particularly like having a mixed race couple - and an older woman as main characters. Several African American actors - I like seeing people besides white (MY race) get work. I grew up in the civil rights movement era, so I notice things like that. I always appreciate a multiracial cast - like life!

One thing that bugs me is the face sucking. Maybe because I'm older - I just don't see how that drives the story. It annoys me. Am I a grumpy oldster? Quite possibly. But it does seem like they have too much of that - I imagine the writers trying to fill the minutes perfectly to fit that time slot and so throw a makeout session in there to make the time fit perfectly. It does nothing for the plot.

Overall, I like it. I do appreciate the strength and fierce nature of the mermaids - adds dimension to the story. I vote it a good show for watching while you are doing mindless busywork, but I wouldn't sit down JUST to watch it.

Crash Pad (I) (2017)

Hilarious!

[10/10 · 8 December 2017]

The actors were wonderful. I particularly like Domhnall Gleeson and have appreciated his father's work for many years. Christina Applegate is always a pleasure to watch and in recent years, I have really come to enjoy the work of Thomas Haden Church. Don't know how I seemed to miss him for his early years of work.

I loved seeing this cast work together - I like their chemistry. I thought the story was hilarious - I will admit that comedy is one of my favorite genres.

I am looking at the score that IMDb viewers gave it: 5.6 as of this writing. I'm so glad I generally ignore those scores. When I saw whom the actors are, I decided to watch it. Glad I did!

The story is fresh and original, the characters wonderfully written, the direction, editing, even the extras - I loved every minute. The acting was fantastic. Whatever issue people have that caused such a low score, I see it differently.

The Perfect Stranger (2005)

Christian proselytizing - not as terrible as most of 'em but pretty bad

[2/10 · 7 November 2017]

I dislike Christian proselytizing films. I didn't know what to expect, so I gave it a chance. I was hoping it would be creative, but it turned out to just be another case of proselytizing.

I will say this one isn't as terrible as the usual Christian fare. The acting wasn't completely cringeworthy but it was pretty poor. I was curious about what the filmmakers would do - they actually discussed several religions and "Jesus" pointed out how each one of them is wrong. So they lost my respect for this film at that point.

Unless you're a Christian fundamentalist, skip this thing. You'll find the premise that by not being Christian, God is going to punish you in "hell" for infinity. Pass.

Doonby (2013)

TERRIBLE!! TERRIBLE!! Right-wing propaganda soap at about a 7th grade level

[1/10 · 17 October 2017]

Ohmygosh - I watched this film while puttering about - thank God! SO grateful that I didn't actually just WATCH it.

It is one of the worst films ever. Throughout the ghastly thing, I kept thinking, "this is one of the worst films I've ever seen - it's as bad as those Christian films." Well, guess what? It IS one of those Christian films.

The acting is terrible. The writing is even worse. I can't say anything about the directing because everything else was so bad, I wouldn't know where the director's hand is in there.

Everything felt like middle schoolers had written a story and decided to put a show in over a holiday weekend - so amateurish and clumsy. No character was believable. And the premise at the start? Ridiculous!

A mysterious 50-something fellow comes to town and saves everyone from their various troubles. He's a PERFECT man. He could be Jesus. He had been in the Peace Corps and he's literally better than everyone else in that town of greedy, pathetic, hopeless, conniving jerks. Only the bartender and his wife are decent.

He falls in love with a ridiculous, empty-headed, selfish, hard- partying alcoholic 20-something girl. Really? A guy with those attributes and as old as he is falls in love with a vapid drunk? C'mon!!

The film is a sledgehammer of anti-choice, right-wing rubbish. SO glad I didn't pay for it - and so glad I was organizing my drawers while watching it. If I had sat down and watched without doing anything else, I would be very unhappy over the lost time.

Now, if I can get back those 35 neurons that this terrible thing destroyed, I will be happy.

Somewhere Between (2017)

It's the writing. That's the problem.

[5/10 · 4 August 2017]

I like the premise. I like what they were trying to do. I think the actors did well with what they were given... and there's the rub. It's all about the writing.

The screenwriter(s) either hates 8 year old girls or never met an 8 year old girl. I absolutely can't stand the kid - and she's a good actor! I'm sure of it - just ghastly writing. Her dialogue is TERRIBLE - I don't have a problem with her delivery. I think she's doing what the director told her to do.

Eight year old girls don't become obsessed with pop stars. And they don't behave so ill towards parents when their plans are thwarted. They don't get onto the Internet and make their own plans to go to events with friends. They don't say that math makes their heads hurt or whatever the line was. The lines written for that child are TERRIBLE. And they make me want to reach into my nice TV and throttle that wee actress. And it's not her fault!

The parents could do a hell of a lot better. Something is very wrong with their parenting if they, at their professional and SES level, can't approach schooling with positive enthusiasm rather than bargaining and coercion. An 8 year old is naive and innocent and stuck on Mommy and Daddy - and NOT a kid dancing around with her new "friend" - the creepy guy who broke into their apartment. An 8 year old doesn't tell her mother she will hate her if...

I'm so distracted by the bizarre fact that Stephen Tolkin wrote a character in early adolescence and shoved the character into an 8 year old body. It's hard for me to pay attention to the story when that child is doing her adolescent obnoxious bit as an 8 year old.

If it weren't for that character, I might like this much more. She's just so awful - again, NOT the actress's fault - that I'm sitting here wondering what is WRONG with the fellow who created this thing.

The Comedian (III) (2016)

Ugh. Too crude for me

[3/10 · 5 May 2017]

So I bought this instead of renting. Shame on me. I want my money back.

This movie is far too crude for me. I'm no prude, but it's a bit much. I like the actors and thought they would create something fun. But so much of it is bathroom jokes and crude sexual jokes.

I think the acting was probably good. I can't tell, really. I love comedy but I never liked crude comedy. The trailer didn't really represent the kind of humor in this film. And SOOO much time is dedicated to the standup.

Plot is okay. I guess.

I'm disappointed.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

I SHOULD have looked it up - another stupid zombie movie

[3/10 · 26 February 2017]

SO mad at myself for not looking this film up. I despise zombie movies and am looking forward to their fading away to make room for the next fad.

Acting was good. Set, directing, etc. I think the writing was good, too - with an unexpected ending. But at its core, it's just another zombie movie. I don't need to watch actors in zombie makeup eat people. I hate that stuff.

And the ending may delight some because it's unexpected, but I find it cynical and depressing. The whole film is. Even if those children have promise as the next um... step in evolution, I suppose - they'll end up eating all of the animals and they will starve. Ultimately. And that sweet teacher will die - and that's the end of it all.

I want my time and money back. Never again! I'll use movie plot spoiler websites in future.

REALLY miss the message boards!

The Missing (2014–2016)

Halfway into season 1, it's a love/hate thing for me

[6/10 · 26 February 2017]

Or really like/find irritating.

LIKE: Acting, setting, direction, writing, help with my French.

DISLIKE: Writing.

I like so much about this - but the police are such idiots I CANNOT believe they are so stupid and incompetent in France. They get an address for the scarf and in that basement there is the EXACT drawing that boy makes... the reactions of the police - the way they keep saying "no concrete evidence" - has me almost yelling at my television. BOTH of those things absolutely ARE concrete evidence.

The way they closed the case so early? Don't they keep them open for decades in France? Surely, they do. And such an issue reopening it? C'mon!

The mother agreeing with the police on those points is absolutely absurd. NO loving mother would act that way.

Those things, which are so basic to the plot, are driving me nuts. And I CAN'T talk about it on the message boards because IMDb took them away from us! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! Would LOVE to discuss these things with others.

Grumble... grumble... grumble...

I'm going to keep watching, but I am quite irritated by these things.

The River Thief (2016)

Ugh

[1/10 · 30 January 2017]

Well... I don't like faith-based films, not because of religion, but because they are always so awful. Not sure why.

From the get-go, the characters are painted like cartoon characters. The bad boy is terrible - far beyond reason. His behaviors, the things he says, and the things he does are nonsensical and not something the worst troubled kid would do. They exaggerate his negative attitude and his rude comments and behaviors don't serve a purpose for the character.

The grandfather's poorly dyed hair was very distracting. He is a handsome older fellow... without the horrid dye-job. His character was too sanctimonious.

The girl was OK.

The bad guys were ridiculous. Like cartoon characters.

The writing was absolutely ghastly - some of the worst writing I've seen in film. Possibly, those actors have skills that were invisible given the terrible material they were given.

The direction was absolutely terrible - but he was limited by the awful writing. However, given that the director wrote the thing, I give him a big "F" on the entire project. None of the characters were believable except the grandmother, who was only a gravestone, and the granddaughter, who was a fair rendition of a "good girl" at her age.

Some of the religious themes came of a bit ridiculous for me - but I prefer logic.

Overall, I would like my time back. I was in bed with a bad cold. Should have chosen something better for that time while I was curled up in bed with the cat.

For me, this film is a big thumbs down. If I were a fundamentalist Christian, I probably would love it because it's a Christian film. But as a liberal Christian, I judge it on its actual cinematic merits - it's a big fail.

A Better Place (2016)

Quite possibly the worst film you will ever see

[1/10 · 18 November 2016]

I am a nice person. I am kind. I do not like to criticize because I know that when people create things, they put their energy, their creativity, and their time, money, and wishes into them. But this movie is so terrible I must criticize it. My apologies to the gods of film review kindness.

It starts with a fantastic story idea. I love the story idea and somehow I had it in my head that this would be like one of those wonderful Stephen King stories that are about kindness and the good things in mankind that contrast with the bad things. I think this story idea had that same sort of thing in mind, but the screenplay was so terrible, I sat here thinking it is quite possible that my cat could've written a better screenplay. She is a smart cat, although I have never seen her writing.

I utterly despise soap operas and have never made it through one episode of one though I gave it a valiant effort. I would rather watch a soap opera than a movie like this. The story was probably at the level of a fourth or fifth grader. I am not making a joke. It was incredibly juvenile with the characters completely flat and one-dimensional. There was not a molecule of good or of inner conflict in any of the truly evil characters. And the good characters were saintly. There was no real motivation for all of the horrible things the evil characters did. The motivation that the story did provide would've been carried out very different ways. The actions of the antagonists in this story were ridiculously evil at a level that you just don't see in real life. No adults would take in this story and say, "yes, those bad guys really need to be stopped!" Indeed, what an adult would wonder about is exactly what kind of brain injury the antagonists in the story had sustained to cause them to be so simpleminded and illogical in their evil doings. And there were so many of those characters. A small town with some incredibly evil people. Nonsensically evil.

I have no idea if the actors have any skill, but it is impossible for me to believe that they had anything to do with how bad this film is. It is simply statistical nonsense to suggest that every actor in this ghastly thing is a terrible actor. They would have, by sheer chance, found one or two good actors for the film if they had actually been looking for bad actors. You cannot make a Rolex watch from a few pieces of wire and gears that you found in an auto salvage yard. I think the screenplay is of such low quality that the finest actors in the world would've looked terrible in this film.

I cannot tell if the direction was good or not, but I suspect it was not very good. I wrote a few screenplays in my past and you always include a few instructions for direction in them. But the director has some freedom, of course. There were some very weird instances in this film where the timing did not make any sense or times where a character had no awareness of what was going on just a few feet from him. Also, characters did not look at or intervene in situations. The dance between directing and screenplay is a complicated one that I know very little about. And I don't know how much freedom the director had, but if it was a skilled director, it must've been terrible for him to direct this awful thing. Just as terrible as it was for the actors, no doubt.

I am pretty sure my six-year-old granddaughter could have written more realistic dialogue. I cannot get my time back, but in an effort to be a positive force in humanity I must humbly suggest to any reader here that instead of putting time and a few dollars into watching this film, you get out all your sweaters, sit down, and pluck those little lint balls off them. There will be four advantages to this activity. Your sweaters will look pristine, you will be much richer with three or four dollars you don't spend renting this film, you won't lose that little bit of IQ that surely dissolves from taking in such a bad story, and you will be much more amused by the plucking of lint than watching this film.

Wuthering Heights (2011)

Oh... I don't know what to think

[8/10 · 11 August 2015]

First, it's been MANY years since I read the book. It is not a book I plan to read again... too dark and depressing.

That said, I felt, with all its flaws that have been pointed out here, the film did a fine job conveying the mood of the book. Dark, hopeless, despair... all of that. I always wondered about that Bronte sister... what was her emotional state most of the time?

I found the dark, foggy, muddy location to be perfect. And the actors really got filthy - they lived in mud. That's how it would have been there.

I disliked the animal cruelty, but I'll give it a pass, as it probably is realistic for the times and for people in such ongoing despair. But I did fast forward through those scenes. I don't need to see that and I cannot understand why the filmmaker felt compelled to put them in there. And Heathcliff walking away at the end whilst that boy hung those dogs? Wow. That was very off-putting.

I felt the actors were splendid. Every one of them inhabited their character with brilliant skill. I felt the direction was perfect. Some may find the time spent on shots of the surrounding moor to slow the whole thing down too much, but for me, it fit the mood.

The wild characters fit my memory of the book. Cathy was as fickle, selfish, cruel, and passionate as I felt she was in the book... which I read decades ago, so memory can certainly be wrong.

I loved the black Heathcliff. Although he certainly was not black in the book, I felt that was a creative re-imagining.

I sat through the film whilst working on paperwork. I had no interest in investing in intently watching. The book had nothing positive in it for me, and I dislike depressing stories. I felt the film represented the mood, tone, and message - if you will - of the book. I wasn't crazy about it... but I didn't like the book, so it seems to fit.

I vote an 8 because of these things. I knock 2 points off just because I dislike the story.