sporeviews Reviews

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return (2013)

Avoid

[1/10 · 19 May 2018]

Remember all those straight-to-dvd Disney sequels that nobody liked? You know what would be a really great idea!? Giving that exact same treatment to one of the most beloved family classics of ALL TIME! And boy, is it.

It has a plot that's just as boring. It has songs that are just as meaningless and forgettable. It has writing that's just as child-pandering and groan-inducing. It has performances that are....arguably passable. But you cast Bernadette Peters in a musical and didn't have her SING?

And in a freaky coincidence, the india-based animation company known as Prana frequently teams up with the studio known as DisneyToon that used to give us those movies! And currently makes all the Tinkerbell movies. Well, that also explains why it LOOKS significantly not up to par. Unspectacular, but not TERRIBLE, as some of the ideas and designs seemed upped for Oz, if safe. But the difference in quality from what we've come to expect from theatre animation, is not subtle. Which leads us to the BURNING question: How did this get released to THEATRES? In WIDE RELEASE? In BLOCKBUSTER MONTH?! (May 9th) Oh, and it didn't do well? Well, you don't say!

Oh, and did I mention that the lion, Tin Man and scarecrow are BARELY IN THIS MOVIE?

Now, acknowledgement: This movie was technically based off one of the original Oz books that I haven't read, so I don't know how exactly faithful it is. But I do know that the marshmallow guard that's an extremely prominent character WASN'T IN THE BOOK AT ALL. So that doesn't necessarily give me a bit of confidence. And even if the adaptation WAS faithful, it STILL wouldn't make this movie any less unbearable to sit through for me.

A Troll in Central Park (1994)

A Troll in central Park review

[1/10 · 4 April 2018]

In this movie, a troll called Stanley is sent to Central Park for being too nice, and spends the day with a baby called Rosie, and her big brother Gus. I'm not kidding. That is the film in a nutshell.

This film is heartbreaking to watch, because it's Don Bluth at his lowest point. Bluth abandons any sense of respect for the children in the audience, AND himself, in favor of easy pandering. It's a film where barely anything happens, fret or tension is kept to a minimum, and no bold risks are made behind the scenes. Everything about the film is insufferable, from Stanley the troll, who's only emotion is overbearing happiness, to the whiny, self-entitled children we're supposed to relate to. It's a movie that suffocates the audience with sugar-coated whimsy, and refuses to provide anything enriching, or clever. What sours the film even more, is its terrible message of, "If you dream, ANYTHING is possible." Which is a LOUSY way of inspiring kids, because achieving goals also takes hard work, strong will and intense effort. Three things that this film clearly didn't put into practice during production. Children deserve SO much better than this, and what's worse is that Don Bluth can DO better than this. It's a hollow and shallow film, that left me feeling empty and unfulfilled. Don Bluth himself looks back at the film in regret, once stating in an interview:

"As it is never a good thing that a child is born prematurely, so it is when producing a film. Development of a script is like the development of a child in the womb; it takes time, it must be done right. Building the movie, A Troll in Central Park taught us this lesson, but indeed the hard way. I tell you all this in the hope, that YOU might benefit from our foolish mistakes. Scrutinizing your own work is so important, but let's face it: You're all afraid of not measuring up, so we stubbornly cling to our own opinions, shutting out all others. Stanley could have been a richer character with more levels to his personality. Maybe, he could have had a dark side; a troll side that he struggled with."

I do respect Don for owning up to the film's downfall, because it really is insulting, implying that quality control and intelligence CAN be ignored if children are watching. Which is just pure BS.

Children don't deserve to be treated like gullible idiots, whether in school, at home, OR at the cinema.

The Little Prince (2015)

Beautiful, Charming and ADORABLE!

[10/10 · 2 April 2018]

A multi-country collaboration between a LOT of studios, by the director of Kung Fu Panda adapted The Little Prince, one of France's most beloved children's books back in 2015. The film however, takes a very interesting approach to the book.

For those who haven't read it, The Little Prince contains a lot of philosophical anecdotes, the first several of which have a theme of the child versus the adult. And this movie opens with a girl being raised in a strict household with her mother's intention of turning her into a "proper adult." But then she makes friends with the strange eccentric man next door, who is the aviator and writer of the The Little Prince book, (in universe.)

Just to clarify that The Little Girl is not in the little prince book. Also, none of the characters in the book or the movie, have proper names. The movie cuts between the story of the prince, and the little girl's reaction to the story.

And in a nutshell, this movie is INCREDIBLY good. I love it. It feels like a movie that could have come right out of a mainstream Western studio; if they didn't have to force in a joke every 10 seconds, and were allowed to be subtler and metaphorical. While it does draw the lines between kids and adults in such a blatant, stark way, and maybe her transition from a mini adult into a playful kid is a little bit too easy, and MAYBE this whole lesson of keeping hold of your inner child isn't really one this generation has any problems with, there's still a lot of relatable, inspirational material here!

I love the way she initially reacts to the story in a SUPER literal way, which seems to echo how much fiction is judged that way recently! Also, this film approaches the concept of belief in a remarkably mature and tactful way.

But then the last act suddenly takes a SHARP left turn, and takes on a VASTLY different tactic of re-imaging the book that's an interesting idea, but completely ruined because of how over-the-top spastic-ally CONTROLLING the tone was. Also, because the moral is SPELLED OUT to the audience, which it didn't need to be.

But overall, I thought this movie was AMAZING. It's beautiful, it's touching, and it gets these really complex ideas across in very relatable ways. This is a movie I would watch again and again.

Frozen (I) (2013)

Disney REALLY needs to restructure their marketing department.

[6/10 · 28 March 2018]

Because before the critic reviews rolled around, Frozen didn't exactly have the best buzz going around about it; Mainly in the form of, "Please let me kill that annoying snowman." And, as if it wasn't enough that people were afraid if animated Jar Jar Banks was coming our way, then we had an animator interview that basically confirmed everything wrong with the corporate attitude of creating female characters for animation. But, frankly Tangled had an equally annoying comedy heavy trailer, and THAT movie turned out great. I reserved judgement until I saw the whole film, and how is it? Ugh.... okay, I kind of admit that I have a problem: I have this INSANE tendency to expect movies from Pixar and Disney to always be AMAZING, and I mean 'make you cry and laugh, lift you from your body and go on an amazing journey', epic levels of amazing. But frankly, that's just not healthy. Not only does it set you up for unrealistic expectations, and if the movie doesn't match ALL your excited anticipation of the "best movie ever," even a great movie will seem disappointing.

And yes, it is Disney, which means that the movies are made for families. But I also have to say that I don't believe in pulling any punches, just because it's a family movie. Pixar movies have the reputation they do, not because the critics went EASY on them because they were FAMILY movies, it's because they're movies that work for everyone. And while it's certainly important to understand for which demographic the movie was made, that doesn't excuse it from CRITICISM.

I think that Frozen is a perfectly FINE movie, if all you really want is a cute, funny, and harmless mini-adventure story featuring two female characters, impeccably designed so that they won't bother feminists, but that Disney can still make money off merchandising them as princesses. But if you want a FANTASTIC, interesting story with characters you can emotionally connect with, this probably isn't it.

Now on the positive side, the animation is GORGEOUS. It's not textured, Dream Works gorgeous, but lovely, colourful, active. And of course, given its visual theme, the film LOVES to show you everything it can do with ice and snow, and indeed, the ice and snow looks AMAZING.

I do think the female leads are a bit paper-thin. But the snowman? He's, fine! He's even effectively entertaining! He IS funny, but in a good-natured, likable way. I do like his voice, and for the most part, he's not annoying! Speaking of which, this movie IS also a musical. In general, I find the music okay. Kind of on the same level as Princess and the Frog and Tangled, I can't really pretend that the songs are as good as the great ones from the 90's, but there have been at least two songs from each of those movies that I liked. Including Frozen. The first song is the one played right at the beginning of the film. Then there's the BIG song of the film, and it's the song that Elsa sings, where she REALLY gets to show off what she can do with her powers. Plus, the music with the animation of her using her powers goes together BEAUTIFULLY. Then the rest of the songs are cute, but mediocre.

And then of course, there's the story. Remember when Brave came out, and how everyone's consensus was kind of, "It's not that I didn't like it, I was just expecting it to be a bit... BETTER." Well, that. And it's not just because it really forces in the comedy whether it works or not. It's just that the characters' chemistry just isn't there. And it's not from a lack of effort to try and flesh out these characters, it's just that the story doesn't let them DO that much. As for Elsa, for example: You think she's going to be the villain, but she's not. You think it's going to be this complicated situation where she'll really GROW as a character, but it's not. Every that happens, she basically does by accident. Elsa is basically reserved and scared of her powers, but she is the one character with a real CONFLICT. So why on earth does the movie focus on ANNA as the main protagonist? Which isn't to say TOO much against her, who's personality is caring, but excitable and funny. While I think that Anna's goofiness can eventually irritate SOME people, there's nothing wrong with her besides her not having a lot to do. Because, not much in this movie really feels like anything's at stake. I mean the whole movie takes place in two days! I do like that the story is about two SISTERS, and while they DO show a genuine connection at the start of the film, we never really see that closeness again. Their interactions throughout most of the film are them reciting the same lines at each other, over and over.

And in the end, my problem with the movie, is it's about how much the film tries to keep the emotion at an arm's length because, "It has to be a fun comedy! Because that's what the kids like now, right?!" This movie just feels like it's aiming for young kids, and I know, it's just a silly kiddie movie, that's all they wanted to make. Well congratulations Disney, you've succeeded! And I know that sounds like a lot of bile but believe me when I say I have NOTHING against anybody who goes to this film and enjoys it. If anything, I'm JEALOUS of those people.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks Animated (2014)

Rainbow Rocks is SO much better than the first one!

[10/10 · 10 March 2018]

The first Equestria Girls was basically writing on the gimmick of, "Ha ha, they're all humans now! Isn't it wacky! This is what you wanted Bronies, right! Yeah, we totally did this for you, and not as another toy variation! Or six." It wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good either. What it had in character designs and certain songs, it lost in an incredibly boring villain and her incredibly stupid scheme. And sure the new one is still a blatant toy commercial, but Rainbow Rocks is a VAST improvement in nearly every way.

For starters, there is a stark upgrade to the animation, particularly in their graphics and effects. Seriously, the battle montage was AMAZING! Not to mention the cameo ante has been jacked WAY up, and pays off EXTREMELY well.

I also have to note that I really loved all the shorts Hasbro released, leading up to the movie. They were really cute, and more importantly didn't waste any of the movie's time. And while they seem to have replaced a generic popularity contest plot line, with a generic Battle of the Bands plot line, two things make this story much more effective and entertaining:

1 is the villains. The Dazzlings are pretty much the PERFECT filler villains. Namely that they're not over emphasized. Because they aren't so much characters, as they are conflict catalysts. They don't try to contrive a personal vendetta against Twilight or Celestia; All you need is an origin that makes sense, a skill that's believably threatening, and some mildly quip lines every time we cut back to them to remind us that they exist. They're just necessary and entertaining enough, and nothing more. And that kind of makes them brilliant. It's perfect that the villains in a supernatural battle of the bands story would be SIRENS. And fittingly, they have all the best songs. I also think it helps that they aren't the only source of conflict. As we saw from the beginning, that friction was ALREADY developing between the Mane 6. We brings us to reason..

2. More focus on our girls. The first movie was very much Twilight's story, or at least Twilight's awkward and wacky adjustments in the human world story. But thankfully this one gives EVERYONE a turn in the spotlight and especially a certain one. Which brings us to this movie's greatest accomplishment: Making Sunset Shimmer likable; A feat so insurmountable, it could only be done at the cost of continuity, logic, and likability of the new mane 6. And you know what? IT WAS WORTH IT.

Sunset really was NOT just one of the worst people, but also one of the worst villains out of ANYTHING. She was just so generic and boring in motivation, and execution. Ending with the most abrupt, unconvincing character turnarounds ever. But somehow, Rainbow Rocks takes that unconvincing character shift, and OWNS it, and makes it work. Mostly because she's currently juxtaposed against the rest of the main 6, which are being TERRIBLE. It's not always fun to see our girls being this transparently cruel. And yes, all of the "no offence," lines do feel very forced.

I was more or less okay with it, because it made sense that they still wouldn't completely trust her. Everyone was still in character and in a way, it humanized them. It showed them that they aren't completely perfect. Again, by all logic, Sunset Shimmer would have gone full demon, and killed them all off at several points. But ultimately, I am glad that she didn't relapse; She stuck to her convictions, she seemed honestly remorseful, and I think it all paid off well.

The biggest downside aside from just having to watch the main six be terrible, and the authority figures are utterly useless, was TWILIGHT being useless! But I think that was the point.

The Rainboom songs were okay, but yes, they should NOT have beaten The Dazzlings. And it has a couple of "happens because the plot wills it" moments. And then of course, the ongoing party-killer that is Flash Sentry. Although he was, if possible, even LESS prevalent in this movie, which is at least, something. I know a lot of people don't like the excessive flash hate, a character with SO little impact on the film as a whole, that any lasting thought about him is hardly worth it. And the fact is people's response to him is just a matter of, it either bothers you that Twilight has a meaningless love interest, or it doesn't. But I just can't hide the fact that I can't think of a single relevant, or positive element of his existence brings to this movie. And that bothers me! I REALLY dislike obligatory useless love interest characters on principle, regardless of what gender they are.

But that's all still pretty minor, and overall, I REALLY did enjoy this! And I really am looking forward to a third one because, BEST cliff hanger EVER!

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (2013)

Underwhelming.

[4/10 · 10 March 2018]

Granted, if you're going to make a movie, you might as well have an "out there" concept like trans-dimensional hopping. But for whatever reasons for this idea, the only thing more unbearable than high school is seeing high school being portrayed for ages NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL YET. Popularity contest plot frame, one-dimensional popular girl antagonist, blue-haired Mc Useless love interest, oh goody.

But for the limited credit that it has, the movie does have the character emphasis from the show. And the interactions between the Mane 6 are the best part of the film. In addition, the human designs of the original characters are really good! The animation and what they do with it frankly, is why the movie deserves to exist. I mean, seeing Twilight adjusting to her new human body is just, funny! And the songs are, there.....?

But then the villain is an idiot. Yes, set up a bunch of easily fortified conveniences, only to surrender. And then just jump on her and take the McGuffin with your bare hands, WHAT.

So neither the train wreck the fans dreaded, but not the surprisingly fresh innovation that they hoped for.

Barbie: Dolphin Magic (2017 Video)

Ahhhhhhhh... The fresh smell of merchandising...

[1/10 · 21 February 2018]

I've rented every Barbie-related video for my 4 year-old daughter and of course she seems to enjoy them. From an adults perspective I think they're so-so. They certainly don't have near the quality as any theater release(s) and even some other made-for-kids videos I've seen, but it's suitable for youngsters.

The video was chock full of what would appear to be decent songwriting, but there was nothing that was awe-inspiring or catchy. In the end my daughter lost interest after about 15 - 20 minutes, which isn't a good sign. Of course, with the tie-ins from the endless supply of Barbie commercials with the tag line "HEAR BARBIE SING FOR THE FIRST TIME". I'm sure the sales will be good. NOTE: There's nothing more annoying than a 'staged' blooper reel.

By Barbie's standards and those who love this kind of 'kid friendly' fare, I'm sure it was a noteworthy product. While I realize that it was not written for my age bracket, I still have to sit through it and so am entitled to an honest opinion. While I'm not critical of this movie in front of my own child, my outlet is in this forum.

I have an imagination and have found numerous movies for the younger set entertaining because they'll make a nod or two to the adult viewer. Sadly, I found nothing of that nature in this release and detected the distinct use of a marketing tools/gimmicks to win child viewers. On my end, when the target audience can't even be entertained, I feel a bit more justified in the posting of MY OWN review. Lighten up, it's an opinion and obviously not shared by the apparent 'Magic of Barbie' that was missed by my family.

Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016)

Very disappointing...

[3/10 · 21 February 2018]

When I was looking at the trailer, I was expecting this movie to be AMAZING; and I mean amazing songs, animation that looks like it has FINALLY caught up with other animated films, and GREAT character chemistry.

But unfortunately, the movie didn't ANY of my excited anticipation. The one song that I THOUGHT I would love ended up sounding mediocre at best, especially when it BARELY got any attention in the narrative.

The animation is a mixed bag for me, personally. The backgrounds, scenery and atmosphere all look GREAT, but at times the colours look off, and don't seem to blend well. The character designs themselves sometimes move too fast, and end up looking JARRING, because they don't have any sense of motion blur, especially when they don't seem to be very well integrated with the backgrounds. The settings themselves either look underwhelming, or barley got ANY screen time to let the viewer sink in the moment, or atmosphere.

The characters themselves are okay, but don't leave a very strong impression. And the chemistry you WOULD expect, just isn't there. They aren't TERRIBLE, but they aren't full of charm, wit or memorability either. And that's all I really have to say on the characters.

Overall, I was disappointed. I THOUGHT this would have been a pleasant, charming film, and while there are SOME bits and pieces of pleasantness, you never really FEEL the sentiment that the movie wants to deliver to you. Everything about the film could have been better; The animation could have been better, the songs could have been better, the message of teamwork could have been better with some better character chemistry, and even the story could have gained more SUBSTANCE to it. Even as a DIRECT TO DVD film, I felt like it could have had more substance. That's all I'm asking for.

Girl Meets World: Girl Meets Commonism (2016) Season 2, Episode 28

This isn't easy by ANY means...

[1/10 · 4 February 2018]

Boy, did they EVER get this one wrong! I'm still scratching my head as to how DISNEY CHANNEL of ALL networks, ever agreed to air such a controversial episode, that is SO wrong headed, in its approach. Doing nothing for 22 minutes is bad like World Of Terror, but what they did here, was WAY worse. Let's get the easy stuff out of the way first: This episode aired out of order, which basically means that characters develop BACKWARDS, from the high note that Girl Meets Money left them on two weeks prior. But that's a minor complaint compared to the major problems. This episode tried to equate an entire social ideology to cheating, one of the few aspects of life with no grey area. Cheating is wrong, literally 100% of the time. That's how cheating works! But if you then equate that to communism, or commonism, then the message becomes that those viewpoints are 100% wrong, which is so comically bias, that it could be interpreted as political satire! But it gets worse, because now the subtext essentially reads that America and its democracy is flawless! I'm sure America is a great place with a lovely democracy, and democracy is a good form of government, but calling either perfect, would be like calling this episode INSIGHTFUL. And what's more, it's made abundantly clear that the cast, doesn't even understand the title of the episode, and keeps confusing it with communism. The idea of this trio being communists makes no sense; Not only because they really don't understand the terminology, but it also goes against the rebellious personality Maya has always supported, along with the unique perspective Farkle has always had! Riley going overboard in an effort to help her friends is more in line with her character, but that's not an argument in her favour, this time around. But what really kills this episode even beyond those aforementioned critical missteps, is that not even Mr. Matthews himself, gets the lesson right. Because here, the lesson is taught in such a way that kind of discourages ANY form of group work! Because doing that would be un-American, or something; And spends way too much on the cheating plot line! As it is, the viewership didn't NEED this episode, and this episode was just unnecessary.

Trolls: The Beat Goes On! (2018–2019)

Just when I was starting to look at the animation side of Netflix with a little bit of hope...

[1/10 · 26 January 2018]

Just when I was starting to develop a soft spot for animated spin-offs, Trolls found a way to rip ALL of that away from me. I don't review animated movies as much as television series, and there's a reason for that. I'm more invested in animation than live-action and unfortunately, when it comes to theatrical features, I don't feel very excited as of lately. There have been some pretty good animated movies released in the past decade, but the more you watch them, the more washed-up they feel.

Regardless of which studio has been the most responsible, we can all agree that a lot of animated movies feel formulated, in every single aspect. From the structure, to the art direction. And this very idea was the reason why I didn't even bother to watch Trolls when it first came out; In fact, I had no plans to watch it until recently, when I decided to review the Netflix series. And after watching it, I got EXACTLY what I expected to see; Same types of jokes and gag characters, same sound design, same visual style of emotional implication and perspective shots, needless addition of popular songs, and just to add something a little extra, I disagree with the show's main ideology of "Be happy all the time".

If I had to rate the movie, I would give it a generous 5/10, for the single fact that I acknowledge the effort that was put into making the animation look expensive, and admirable profession, and some of the characters arcs were perfectly competent. My overall impression, was that it was pretty uninteresting. And I would have NEVER want to revisit it, and I DEFINETLY do not see potential in a full series, but I guess I was wrong. Oh wait.. I was right, because just like it's source material, the show is SUPER BORING.

So the series takes place after the events of the movie which, I'll give them props for not driving me crazy with continuity errors; In fact I was impressed at how Branch feels appropriately developed, in which he's more open to the idea of happiness, but he also hasn't abandoned his more cynical side. Which makes sense, since it's now embedded in his personality after years of it defining who he is. But at the same time, this is kind of a flaw with the series. Honestly, Branch was the only character in the movie that I had ANY emotional investment in. He had the most interesting background even if the movie didn't DO much to make him come to grips with it, and move on in a natural way. And his cynicism perfectly contrasted Poppy's naïve optimism throughout the journey they had in the movie. I didn't care for Poppy in the movie, besides how her ideology was clashing with Branch, and I care even LESS for Poppy in this series.

Her main ongoing struggle is to become a better Queen, except this never really feels like an emotional challenge for her. She has no real expectations, it's not like her father pushes her to be the best Queen she can be, and what I don't think was ever established is that she lives in the shadow of her predecessor, so she doesn't really have much to prove in the end. This just feels like a painfully simplistic character struggle. And as for Branch, his character seems perfectly mature and adjusted, so there isn't really much at stake for him, and I don't really find any of them either fun or charming enough, that I would want to see more of them.

So at the end of the day, the only thing you'll end up really caring for, is the tension between the trolls and the bergens, in which Poppy is trying to create harmony between them. Besides the two main characters, there's NOT much emotional connection built that felt significant to me. King Grizzle and Bridget are fine I guess, even if at times it feels like the show wants me to have a stronger bond with them despite the fact that in the movie, they were just tools. But the rest of the troll characters are EVEN worse; in the movie they were just one-dimensional characters, and they don't seem to be any different here. So taking account all of these factors, and add the fact that the stories have, (and this is me being nice) acceptably fine premises with basic structures, you can probably imagine what was my experience. It was a complete drag.

I'm not very fond of the colour choices, some trolls have noses with weird colours that are sometimes TOO bright, and in relation with the colour of the hair, skin and clothes, the combination just doesn't feel aesthetically pleasing to me. I also really don't like the soundtrack; I hate criticizing shows and movies for adding electronic dance music, and in all fairness, there are moments when the addition of EDM is justified, like whenever there's a party happening. But then you have an intense scene that has a musical score with a dance craving beat, and I just think, "Was that REALLY necessary?" You know, I'd much rather listen to generic stock background music than this tone misplaced musical score. There are several songs that sound over processed, including the opening theme song. To be fair, the voice acting is actually good, even if they're not the same voice actors. And to wrap things up, the show is not funny. That's all I really have to add; Humor is subjective I guess. So, yes this show is PAINFUL. The songs are tone-deaf, the colours are mismatched, and the characters are one-note.

Spooky Buddies (2011 Video)

It wasn't spooky, and I sure don't want it to be MY buddy!

[1/10 · 4 January 2018]

I WAS going to be nice to this movie, since it just looked like your typical talking dog movie, and it didn't look all THAT stupid at first. But then it just goes right up the deep end into total GARBAGE.

The villain is an idiot, the hound's means and methods don't make any sense, the acting is terrible, the decent animation is sadly overlooked, the story is full of cliches and contrivances, and seriously, the Halloween hound is defeated by a FART!?

I don't care if this is a direct-to-DVD talking dog movie, I expected BETTER from you, DISNEY. I expected a LOT better.

Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups (2012)

Are you surprised that it sucks!?

[1/10 · 4 January 2018]

Like the other movies she's been in, this one is only worth watching for Kaitlyn Maher. But otherwise, it's just painful!

The pups themselves are bland and obnoxious, the magic STILL doesn't make any sense, the implication in the message that there is NO love outside of Christmas spirit is downright DEGRADING to anyone who has ever loved anything, in other words EVERYBODY, and when you get right down to it, these pups were completely pointless! No seriously, there is a scene with a chalkboard showing animated chalk drawings of carolers, feeding the homeless, cheering up kids in the hospital, and the latest addition to a young family carrying on their own Christmas traditions; the movie never shows the pups doing ANY of this!

Nobody's lives were enriched by the pups' involvement! Sure they grant a wish here and there, but it wasn't because of them! Nobody thanked or even acknowledged the pups for what they did, because the pups had no part in granting these wishes! If Christmas spirit could be wished away completely by accident like this, I think that means these crystals don't actually need anyone for them to grant the wishes.

It could have gotten to Pineville by accidentally falling into Mrs. Clause's purse before she goes on her search for the new ambassador, it overhears and grant's any and every wish within earshot, (even the bad ones), and the Mrs. and Kaitlyn save Christmas because they know that you can't destroy Christmas, as long as there is love in the world. There is literally NOTHING that the pups did, that couldn't be done by anyone else!

Jumanji (1995)

Jumanji is a good movie!

[7/10 · 24 December 2017]

I have to admit, I actually enjoyed this movie! I liked the concept, the characters were likable, and the performances were pretty good!

Now I'll list three problems I have:

1. The 3D animation. I understand that not all movie have the biggest budget in the world, but the CGI bits with the monkeys, the quicksand, and the crocodile, all felt REALLY dated.

2. The board game rules. Throughout the movie, the board game rules were getting really inconsistent, e.g. In the first scene of the movie, bats fly into the room through the fireplace, and appear to be normal-sized. But in the second act of the film, mosquitoes fly into the room, but appear to be giant-sized. Plus, a crocodile appears in the swamp water, but the game didn't mention it would appear.

3. I wish the movie was more memorable. Maybe if the movie had a stronger budget, e.g. having a longer run time to develop the characters, and the cinematography had a stronger sense of stake, e.g. showing the townsfolk running out of town in terror, and either dying or panicking, it would have made the movie more at stake. Or maybe make the characters more memorable e.g. Fleshing out the characters by learning more about them. Sure they were likable, but I kept forgetting their names throughout the movie. But Robin Williams really was the most memorable character, with the most memorable performance.

Despite all that, what does make up for the flaws, is the ending. It was just so uplifting, satisfying, and genuinely heartwarming, it raised my rating of the movie, from "average" to "good".

Trolls (2016)

Trolls doesn't measure up to Dreamworks standards..

[1/10 · 21 December 2017]

Based on the popular toys, Trolls centers on two tiny trolls called Poppy and Branch, who go on a quest to rescue their friends from being eaten at the annual Trollstice, held by the miserable Bergens.

When I first saw the teaser trailer for Trolls, I knew it would be something quite unbearable, and BOY was I right! The whole movie is offensively patronizing, and lazy; Instead of being original, or creative, it pads out 80% of it's narrative with characters randomly performing recognizable pop songs. With little to no concern about whether these jukebox musical numbers, help the story to move forward, or add something to the film. It's the oldest trick in the book; Emotionally manipulate the audience by referencing happy pop songs that sound comfortably familiar. It's much easier than coming up with your own material to satisfy them, or enrich their minds.

This isn't my only gripe with the movie though; It's lead characters are SO one-dimensional and bland, that we know how their character arcs will play out as soon as we see them on screen! Not to mention, the film also forces these two into a romantic connection, just because it's the usual Hollywood tradition. Plus, it's because the studio thinks that audiences are suckers for anything romantic. This just comes across as formulaic and contrived, because they share SO little chemistry; They spend most of the movie arguing.

The cherry on top of Trolls problem's has to be it's desperate and cringe-inducing attempts at being cool, hip and relevant to today's generation. From having characters rap out of nowhere, to having a troll baby scream "YOLO!" at a crazy rave party. It's so embarrassing, and it's going to date this movie TERRIBLY.

Trolls is a desperate, awkward and uninspired movie, with nothing creative, or imaginative to offer. To say that I didn't like it, would be an understatement.

Trolls Holiday (2017 TV Movie)

This movie was REALLY cringe-inducing..

[1/10 · 20 December 2017]

Trolls Holiday special was very cringe-inducing. Just like it's predecessor Trolls, it's not up to Dreamworks standards in the slightest, which have been renowned for having good stories, excellent writing with witty comedy, and quiet, touching moments, with amazing music.

The story starts with the Bergens who have cancelled Trollstice, so they don't have any holidays, to look forward to. So the Trolls gang decide to travel to Bergen Town to give the citizens a new holiday.

My problems with Trolls Holiday, is that barely anything happens, there is NO fret or tension, and it's just a painful, boring experience when the creators are trying too hard to be hip, cool and relevant to today's generation. There is too much dialogue, and not enough quiet moments; plus the storyline is moving too quickly. The song, Poppy and Branch sings, is nothing but loud noises, gibberish lyrics and constant rapping.

There are signs of sloppy writing throughout the episode; This is demonstrated by the character Branch, because he turned happy in Trolls, but in this episode, he is back to being grey with no reason. Even if you aren't going to do continuity, you must be at least CONSISTENT with your story.

I liked Anna Kendrick, and Justin Timberlake's performances, as they are both very accomplished singers and actors. While the special isn't really colourful, in the trolls village, the visuals really shine, from the textures to the felt. And I liked the final song number; It was very catchy and upbeat.

Overall I did not like the episode as it doesn't have it's own style; It's not cute, it's rarely colourful, and it's NOT charming in the slightest.

It might seem unreasonable for me to care about the quality in kids media like this, but Dreamworks themselves have proven to make AMAZING movies from time to time, like The prince of Egypt, or spirit, that can appeal to both kids and adults. Besides, adults shouldn't have to torture themselves watching this with their kids. As long as Pixar was the game-changer to making timeless movies, people are ALWAYS going to hold animated movies to a high standard.

Trolls (2016)

Does not deserve a G rating.

[1/10 · 20 December 2017]

First off, if you are a Christian, do not let your kids see this movie. The main idea of this movie is essentially that the way to get rid of an evil spirit is just to "be happy" enough, which is obviously not what the Bible teaches.

Second, even if your family isn't religious, your kids have no business watching this movie. Either they will be creeped out by it, in which case they are too young (like I said, the "G" rating is outrageous), or they will not be creeped out by it, in which case they are too old or too mature to be wasting their time on this mindless drivel.

Not only this movie, but the entire genre of "overly-happy sappy generic messages, pretty colours" is an insult to any one who has ever experienced the real world. Similar to shows and movies like My little Pony Friendship is Magic, Sofia the First, Puppy in My pocket, or Care Bears, they are overly-sweet, vapid, pandering, the characters aren't put in any danger, or the characters themselves have no personality. While I was relieved that the movie WASN'T overly-sappy, or this decade's version of "A Troll in Central Park", it instead tries to be hip, cool and relevant, all while failing. Not to mention that the characters aren't put in any danger. Don't let your kids watch Trolls, or the upcoming TV show. Buying them the toys is fine, but keep them away from the upcoming animated series. Trolls has no educational or moral value. The whole theme of the entire Troll Dolls franchise is that all your problems will just go away if only you and your friends just "Be Happy" enough. American Greetings, if you're reading this, than all I have to say to you is try telling that to the the little kid who just lost a friend to cancer, or the kid who's dog just got put to sleep.

There are some who would defend this movie as being just harmless fun even if they do acknowledge that it doesn't have a very strong moral foundation. To that I say, first of all, anyone over age 4 will be bored to tears over this intelligence-insulting movie. It is not fun, and as for me, I have no fond nostalgic memories of the Troll dolls themselves. Second, little kids need to be learning how to be effectively dealing with the problems life throws their way, and learning that "Happiness" isn't always enough. They also need to learn the harsh realities of life, like the fact that holding hands and standing in a circle with your friends shouting the "Happiness is inside you" message over and over again will not bring your dead grandmother back.

Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville (2010– )

awful, just awful

[1/10 · 20 December 2017]

Can somebody tell me why does this show exist? What was the purpose of this terrible show? Now, I know it's a show catered to little kids, mostly little girls, but couldn't they just put some EFFORT into making it? Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville is just ATROCIOUS, that has two of the most horridly executed seasons I've seen in any show, terrible flash animation with lazy character animation and awful lip syncing, flat, dull backgrounds, characters that are so bland, so generic and so utterly stupid, an English dub that's just ear grating with atrocious voice acting and some of the worst pacing I've ever seen in any animated show! Please whatever you do, BAN YOUR KIDS FROM THIS SHOW!

Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville (2010– )

Completely Unwatchable

[1/10 · 17 December 2017]

This cartoon came on Cartoon Network's sister channel, Boomerang early this morning. I had decided to watch something on it to help wake me up, and "Puppy in My Pocket" was the only thing that was airing. I was expecting a cute and endearing show about dogs since I love them so much, but no. This is not what I wanted. What I experienced was a poorly animated, cheesy, unsatisfying and stupid excuse for a cartoon about animals.

I noticed that "Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville" was made by the Italian animation company, Mondo TV, the same people who created two, atrocious movies about the R. M. S. Titanic; "The Legend of the Titanic" and its sequel, "Tentacolino." When I saw the advertisement for this show on Boomerang, I was thinking it would be fun to watch. Wow, was I ever wrong!

The animation and character designs are awful, and I saw that most of their mouths were out of sync with the actors' lines. I'm not kidding. The humans and dogs' lips move with their speaking patterns so fast, that you cannot understand what they're saying at all.

Besides the animation, the whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, really, puppies on a magical island, and living together in a large, luxurious, castle-like home? What is this, a dog version of "The Wizard of Oz?"

"Puppy in My Pocket" is a terribly executed show. It makes no sense, the animation is horrid and it almost rips off fantasy styled movies or television programs. It is just a sugarcoated, large piece of garbage. If you have a young child who loves this show, I suggest banning them from it. As for fans of classic cartoons about cute animals, don't bother with this one.

Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville (2010– )

This is the WORST cartoon I have EVER seen!

[1/10 · 17 December 2017]

To the show's VERY limited credit, at least Puppy in my Pocket tries to tell a continuous story, and the flash animation looks very detailed, albeit cheap.

However, this show reminds of another show I don't like: My little pony friendship is magic. In fact, I'm struggling with which show I dislike more. And it's actually kind of tough, because the two shows actually have similarities:

.Both have mediocre flash animation. .The stories are rehashed, predictable and cheesy .There is always a clear good guy, and bad guy. .There is no character development or audience respect. .Everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow with NO lasting consequences.

However, while Puppy in my Pocket has a more consistent story, it's lip syncing and extremely cheap animation don't make up for it. At LEAST Friendship is Magic has better morals, better animation, and is consistent WITHIN their episodes; just not in between. All Puppy in My pocket does, is tell the audience to 'Buy a pet, and all your problems will be solved!' That is a RANCID message, and I can't believe that this was acceptable for children; it's called quality control!

Add in a seriously troubling implication about a blind girl getting bullied, and the fact that there is no character development, audience respect, or adult appeal, makes this show a TRAIN WRECK. So this is WAY, WAY worse than My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.

Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville (2010– )

This is the WORST cartoon I have EVER seen!

[1/10 · 17 December 2017]

To the show's VERY limited credit, at least Puppy in my Pocket tries to tell a continuous story, and the flash animation looks very detailed, albeit cheap.

However, this show reminds of another show I don't like: My little pony friendship is magic. In fact, I'm struggling with which show I dislike more. And it's actually kind of tough, because the two shows actually have similarities:

.Both have mediocre flash animation. .The stories are rehashed, predictable and cheesy .There is always a clear good guy, and bad guy. .There is no character development or audience respect. .Everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow with NO lasting consequences.

However, while Puppy in my Pocket has a more consistent story, it's lip syncing and extremely cheap animation don't make up for it. At LEAST Friendship is Magic has better morals, better animation, and is consistent WITHIN their episodes; just not in between. All Puppy in My pocket does, is tell the audience to 'Buy a pet, and all your problems will be solved!' That is a RANCID message, and I can't believe that this was acceptable for children; it's called quality control!

Add in a seriously troubling implication about a blind girl getting bullied, and the fact that this show has a BAFFLINGLY large fanbase, makes this show a TRAIN WRECK. So this is WAY, WAY worse than My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.

Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville (2010– )

This is the WORST cartoon I have EVER seen!

[1/10 · 16 December 2017]

To the show's VERY limited credit, at least Puppy in my Pocket tries to tell a continuous story, and the flash animation looks very detailed, albeit cheap.

However, this show reminds of another show I don't like: My little pony friendship is magic. In fact, I'm struggling with which show I dislike more. And it's actually kind of tough, because the two shows actually have similarities:

.Both have mediocre flash animation. .The stories are rehashed, predictable and cheesy .There is always a clear good guy, and bad guy. .There is no character development or audience respect. .Everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow with NO lasting consequences.

However, while Puppy in my Pocket has a more consistent story, it's lip syncing and extremely cheap animation don't make up for it. At LEAST Friendship is Magic has better morals, better animation, and is consistent WITHIN their episodes; just not in between. All Puppy in My pocket does, is tell the audience to 'Buy a pet, and all your problems will be solved!' That is a RANCID message, and I can't believe that this was acceptable for children; it's called quality control!

Add in a seriously troubling implication about a blind girl getting bullied, and the fact that there is no character development, audience respect, or adult appeal, makes this show a TRAIN WRECK. So this is WAY, WAY worse than My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (2010–2020)

I used to like this show, but nowadays I HATE it.

[1/10 · 15 December 2017]

I know this is an unpopular opinion but personally, I think this show is EXTREMELY over-hyped. Honestly, it's not that different from the typical terrible toddler shows on Nick Jr. You could just sum up the character's "personalities" in one word: The shy but kind one, the hyper energetic comic relief, the smart bookworm who is perfect in every single way (e.g. in one episode she read many books on running, before competing in an athletic event,) the sport-obsessed tomboy, and the cowgirl southern-accent one. Even when an episode focuses on them specifically, they don't show ANY personality, e.g. Lesson Zero focuses on the smart one Twilight, but all it really shows is that she has OCD issues, and sticks to a schedule. This is also my final issue with the characters; Any little bit of "personality" they have, is just another carbon copy cliche' from EVERY other children's shows that came before or after it.

I give Friendship is Magic some credit that at least the show staff seems to be TRYING to give a bigger audience appeal other than little girls, but it just falls into the same problems the past my little pony shows have: Saccharine songs, corny jokes, (although occasionally funny), done -to-death characters, you name it. Everything this show has done, from the stories to the characters, have been done before, done LATER, and done better. Everything is hyper-simplified, and dumbed down because 'Why should the show staff bother creating animation, plots and dialogue that CHALLENGES little girls, when they can just give them garbage!' Every conflict is wrapped up in a neat little bow with NO lasting consequences; The villains are cliche-spouting bore fests, who are either sent to prison, or easily forgiven. The conflicts are very predictable and pointless. The humor either appeals to the demographic, or unfunny adult jokes that aren't needed, although there are a few funny jokes in there. To sum up, the animation is average, the characters are cardboard cut outs, and the show has EXTREMELY sloppy writing.

Trolls (2016)

I HATE this movie!

[1/10 · 13 December 2017]

There are very few times in life, that I can say that a film has felt like it has ROBBED me of something; like I felt like less of a human being when I walked out of the cinema. This is one of those rare cases. So, Trolls is the newest film from Dreamworks Animation, and boy howdy are they heading backwards with this one! It's based off the old troll dolls that have been around since the 1960's. In this movie, there's this race of trolls, who are living in a forest, they've got lovely lives, they dance, they laugh, they hug a lot. But then one day, this big bad thing called a Bergen comes, and takes some of the trolls away to be eaten. And now it's up to the princess Poppy, played by Anna Kendrick, and this grumpy troll named Branch, voiced by Justin Timberlake to try and get their friends to freedom... and yeah! From that synopsis ALONE, you know exactly what's going to happen in this thing! Okay, now listing one positive: The animation in this movie, isn't half bad; it's very bright, it's very colourful, it's very pretty to look at, so I'll say good job on the animation team for that! But NO. I'm not being nice to this one, let's just get into this MESS. Watching this movie has got to be one of the most insufferable cinema experiences, I've had in a while! This film just feels like an excuse to have a string of pop songs stacked together with a vague, insanely predictable plot, woven in between them. If you have seen a kid's film, you have seen this plot done, and done better, a hundred thousand times, before! It's all about finding happiness, and being happy, and I HATE films that have messages like that. Throughout this whole movie, I kept thinking back to films like Inside Out where the lesson was, the necessity for unhappiness. It's okay for kids to learn that being unhappy, isn't always a bad thing! Being sad, or angry, is important for a person to experience in life, especially nowadays! In movies like Trolls, the lesson is quite simply "Be happy, all the time always, and everything will just sort itself out." That is an AWFUL message, and it annoys me that we're STILL getting movies that teach it to kids! The characters in this movie were beyond, obnoxious; just the way they would talk with these INSANELY dated phrases: "Solid burn, Branch". Solid burn, returned". It gets terrible! Now let's talk about the songs. Yeah, they're bad. It's just the fact that they were bad, it's the fact that they take up the MAJORITY of the movie! Every 5 minutes, they will just cut to another pop song, and then another one, and then another, and then another, and then another. It was just this endless of infuriating pop songs, that just never seems to end! Half of the songs didn't even make any sense, I mean there's a moment when the characters start singing "Clint Eastwood" by the Gorillaz, and I was just left going, WHY? As a person who is really not a big fan of musicals, in fact I hate most of them, this was my impression of what PAIN would be like! Not to mention the fact that the movie is INCREDIBLY annoying, it's also got some of the moronic, and potentially harmful messages, a kid's film could HAVE in this day and age! We are living in a time, where emotional problems in children are becoming more and more apparent, so just telling them to just put on a smile and be happy, and then ALL their trouble will go away, is not only stupid, it's DANGEROUS. So, to sum up, this movie was just disturbing. The characters were insanely annoying, the plot is recycled from 100 other kid's films, the songs make me want to take a cheese grater to my ears, and the message is some of the most BACKWARDS a kid's film can BE.

Inside Out (I) (2015)

I adore Inside Out!

[10/10 · 13 December 2017]

Inside Out, is fantastic! In fact, the general reviewer consensus is that this movie is one of the cleverest and most original films that Pixar, or anyone else has ever made. And yes, I know because one of the most frequent words to praise this film is original, the entire internet is now putting in all their efforts to prove to everyone else that it's not.

Now I know that this is not the first movie, or animation to illustrate personifications of emotions, or internal thought processes; And even as far as Pixar goes, this is hardly the first movie about about two conflicting characters going on a journey in an otherworldly atmosphere. But this is the first time it's been done in a full length family animation with these particular emotions, executed with this level of clever metaphor for the progressing emotional development of a child, so yes, it's still pretty original. Besides, concept is one factor, and execution is another, and in Pixar fashion, it is fine-tuned to a tee to be easily comprehensible, frequently funny, emotionally relatable, with fun and memorable characters.

Inside Out is about the interactions of emotions, inside of a person's head personified as characters. The person in this case, is an 11-year-old girl named Riley; an incredibly happy and well-adjusted child, until her life is completely uprooted, when her family moves to San Francisco. And the movie covers the literally emotional journey that follows. Most of the story takes place inside her mind, and the world the filmakers created to represent the various cerebral functions, is one of the most interesting, engaging aspects of a family movie, that I've seen in a while.

Not just in the very likable characters displaying the arguably core emotions, but also how it conveys functions, like long-term memory, personality, dreams, abstract thought, forgetting, subconsciousness, etc. Most of the movie I imagine, you'll be marveling at the incredibly intriguing metaphorical portrayals of these concepts, and also probably thinking about all the extraneous details the film didn't have time to address, like; shouldn't there be some sort of connection between the subconscious, and dream production?

But if there's a single element that showcases the film's brilliant design, with near perfect entertaining execution, it's the emotional characters themselves. You think the characters meant to embody a single emotion would be one-note, but the movie makes it clear that their purpose is not just merely spontaneously reacting to things; The emotions all have motivations to serve a particular need, like fear assesses danger, disgust is her sense of literal and social tastes, and anger protects her from being treated unfairly. They all have very appropriate, and entertaining personalities.

But the true protagonists of the story are joy, and sadness, who are the ones to embark on the journey, to help Riley get through her emotional crisis, after well, causing it. Pixar has this, frankly brilliant habit of telling stories from the point of view of characters meant to represent parents. And joy is right in this wheelhouse, in her caring and her good intentions, but also for her intrusive, perkiness. Along with Amy Polher's performance, the tireless animation, and the writing, Joy was able to work as an intriguingly flawed protagonist, as well as likable, and entertaining. And it's really that ability to make those sorts of characters, under those sorts to conditions likable that really is Pixar's superpower.

Bing Bong was helpful, caring, funny and lovable. Like joy, his success is attributed to the film's execution; culminating with the film's ultimate philosophy about the conflicting relationship between joy and sadness. And by that, I mean the literal relationship between the happy and sad emotions, because the characters, never really connect that much. But then the film's final conclusion is so mutually devastating, uplifting, and accurate, this film would probably become mandatory watching for preteens, even if everything else about it had failed. Overall, this movie was PERFECT.

Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue (2010 Video)

This movie fails in SO many areas...

[1/10 · 13 December 2017]

After re watching this film I can safely say I thought it was terrible. Sure, despite the Tinkerbell movies (in my opinion) being TERRIBLE quality, this particular movie takes the cake for being the worst in my opinion.

When focusing on the movies CGI the saturation is lovely however that doesn't make up for the dated look of the animation. In my opinion there are better movies made in 2010 with a lot clearer animation.

Overall the only good things I can say about this movie is the color saturation, Background design and voice talent. Besides that, the film is ABYSMAL. I didn't care at all for the characters, the plot lacked any fret or tension and feels like barely anything happens. But the cream on top of the pile, is the black and white morals, the skeptic vs believer, and a very inane, and EXTREMELY sappy script.

I also can't believe that a girl at 9 years of age, still believes in fairies. Girls at that age should be fully aware of the real world, and her reality SHOULD NOT be sugarcoated, and safety- blanketed, at that point.

One thing that legitimately made me annoyed while watching this film, was the 'cat in the cradle' plot line. I don't like how the father was being portrayed as terrible for focusing on his job, and not his family; Sure parents need to focus on their families, but they won't have the money, or budget to be properly fed, or sheltered. Speaking of which, where's the mother? She's just non- existent to what the plot demands, which is sloppy writing!

Overall, this movie was the worst Tinkerbell movie ever; It didn't have depth, complexity, intrigue, or thought-provoking messages. It instead shows a simplified, unrealistic, black and white view on the world, which is a RANCID message for little girls.