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Reviews
McGregor Forever (2023)
Curved mirror view
Yea yea it may be inspirational at times. But what it also is incredibly repetitive as they use Conor's interviews where his thoughts really repeat on cycle. It's not like the guy is full of clever quotes and deep thoughts.
Also, it's selective in it's approach in covering the events. It's magnifying some that the producers want to emphasise and diminishing other events they're not too keen on. It's not a documentary, it's a subjective Conor promo movie that lacks the impartial view of things. In the end you're left wondering what was the point of this 4 eposode docuseries and why did they stop there.
Assassin's Creed: Valhalla (2020)
The more you play the worse it gets
I'm in almost 70 hours of this game and those horribly boring arcs just won't end!!
I absolutely loved odyssey. So muc better game end to end. This one contains changes that are unnecessary and poorly constructed.
The stealth element, should you wish to use it, is very clunky and almost impossible to use in a way it would be fun and you'd actually feel like you're an assasin. This entire thing just does not work. The missions are super boring, all built on the same pattern so it's just repetition repetition repetition. For a game that contains thar much fighting to the variance in fighting is actually very low. You don't have too many cool stunts, finishers etc.
Oh and btw, having so little to choose from in terms lf appearance and different armor sets is BS. At this point I'm just running though the story to see what lame ending it has.
The Natural (1984)
Below average
This movie is completely predictable and a full on cheese fest. You can see everything coming from a mile away and it's just cringeworthy how some things have been dragged along such as letting the guy know that he has a son. Come on, we all knew that anyway.
One of the weirdest things in the movie is the fact that a middle aged Robert Redford plays a teenager and then 18 years after getting shot, he's supposed to be around 35 and he's still too old for that role as well. Same for his girlfriend at the time. I don't know what the director was thinking. I had to rewatch the beginning in order to see if I misunderstood the timelines and what's happening but nooo- there we have 2 middle aged actors playing 18 year olds with straight faces. Super silly! To be fair, everyone else in the movie calling Roy old, are as old themselves so it's like this is an alternative reality or smth.
Free Guy (2021)
Poor execution
It's an interesting idea and reading the plot it has all the makings to be an original film but it's poorly executed and it doesn't live up to its potential.
Ryan Reynolds just plays himself and this shtick got old 10 movies ago so mostly everything he does now is just cringeworthy. I'm actually wondering whether he can play a different role.
The main issue is witht the fact that the story isn't engaging and the entire thing is just bland and boring, starting witht the dialogue and finishing with action sequences. The way the story unfolds is super predictable as with almost every every hollywood movie.
Red Notice (2021)
Terrible
Terrible script. Raynolds is playing himself/deadpool as always but is ok to watch. Gal Gadot's performance however is totally obnoxious, prancing around everywhere with supernatural powers and bland acting. Super predictable so don't even know why they make movies like that. Just couldn't finish this garbage as it was an irritating waste of time. Therefore can't give it more than 1 star.
Army of Thieves (2021)
Flawed and forgettable
It was better than Army of the dead however at first I didn't even know it was a prequel and didn't put 2 and 2 together even while watching it. It's how forgettable the main actor and the sequel was.
It was pretty cool at first but pretty quickly started going downhill when the writers struggled to move the story along and whipped up some utter nonsense. In order to build up tension, they brought back the part of the crew for the last safe cracking who apparently wanted revenge but based on what was told to us earlier, they had 0 motivation to do that. Noone screwed them over and they kept all the money from last heists. Some way they are able to track the gps of their crew members and a hacker girl who is supposed to be a computer genius, couldn't hack their phone but rather tries to sneak up on their car and ends up being caught by interpol. Why? Why did she even go there? What was the plan? Without those illogical series of events they would have escaped without any issues and that's that. So the writing is super poor.
And given how in love our protagonist was with a female character and promised to wait for her in order to take on the last safe together, he rather quickly forgot about her.
King Arthur (2004)
Lost opportunity
I don't know whether there has ever been a decent King Arthur themed movie. At least this wasn't it. There was a fair amount of exitement at first seeing how this story could turn out to be a bit different and the cast seemed to be pretty good but they failed to capitalise on that and in the end it fell short. Full of cliches.
I liked how Keira Knightley was supposed to be almost dead in the basement with her perfect eyebrows and skin only to brush it all off in a few hours once she got in the cart. And fast forward an hour more she was already on her feet, shooting a bow.
The motivation of the knights was difficult to grasp especially why they chose to change their mind. There was nothing that changed in order for them to rethink their motivation.
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
An irritating experience
All the bad reviews out there are true. All the good reviews, I'm guessing, haven't just paid any mind for the story and logic. This movie is carried on plot holes and everything just seem to happen not because it makes sense but because otherwise the movie would fall apart and end abruptly.
In the end all the wasted oppurtunities just irritated me and I was waiting for this to end. And the ending was the largest lackluster.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Horrendous and utter piece of garbage.
Everything has been said before by other reviewers a million times. Character development, stupid dialogue, plot hole after a plot hole after a plot hole leaves you pissed off that you even watched this movie and then hoped that it might get better towards the end. It's actually painful to watch. And I think almost everyone is ignoring that apparently zombies also now reproduce (!!!!), wear helmets, staffs, capes, keep pets and ride undead horses . Ridiculous!
The Irishman (2019)
Sub par in every aspect
Oh god how this movie drags along and is full of fillers which do not pose any importance from the storytelling importance. Not only are they unimportant but also confusing. An example of that is Franks daughter Peggy, who, since the start of the movie is a completely unnecessary character but yet throughout the years we see camera zooming in on her odd qazes and facial impressions as of they mean anything. Throughout the movie the dialogue between some of the main characters and Peggy has a innuendo and is awkward to watch. One could argue that it's important since in the end Frank's daugther figures out what he has done and disappears from his life. Wrong! This is a stretch given how the father-daughter relationship was portrayed during this excessively long movie.
Also, the entire thing isn't believable even with the deaging. They wanna tell a story of a semi young guy who works his way through the ranks in some 30 years or so. De Niro and the rest of the group looked old to begin with so it was difficult to understand the timeline advancement in the movie. Also, De Niro can try as much as he'd like but he had a posture of an old man from the start. The stunts and fight scenes were also laughable. De Niro beating up a grocery store guy wa so fake and you could see from a mile away he wasn't actually touching the guy. Almost every gangster in the movie was a senior.
Given the length of the movie, it's absolutely unclear how de niro became such a man of power because the entire film is just a bunch of hints and mainly him standing on the sidelines when something important takes place.
This attempt was just weak and embarrassing.
Game Night (2018)
Nothing new
Mostly very bland movie, nothing clever, nothing new. Bateman plays the same character he always does and my guess is the only character he knows how to play- this dimwitted twerp that has some bright moments and although dumb as he may be, is still not the most stupid out of the whole cast. The movie is also a series of logical inconsistencies which can only exist because the writer/director are either too lazy or they know that the audience doesn't care. Well, I do.
The only reason I give this movie 2 stars is because the creepy neighbor character- definitely the most interesting one throughout the entire movie.
Fist Fight (2017)
Not that entertaining cliché.
Yeahh, this movie is crap.
Completely random plot and below the par dialogue. What, the school is pretty much firing every teacher that are shown in the entire movie except for one but they're still planning to keep the school running? There's a story of a pusharound who everyone knows is a pussy, and as a cliché of all clichés, towards the end of the movie he'll finally become a man. But in the meantime he just runs around irritating everyone (viewers the most), trying to bribe and lie his way out of a fist fight. Dude who didn't even know how to make a fist with his hand, suddenly knows how to fight and almost wins. A daughter who can't really even get a word out of her mouth during a talent show all of a sudden starts rapping with a megaconfidence throwing around profanities.
It just gets boring and doesn't even deliver as a light and stupid entertainment that I guess it's meant to be. It's more irritating than fun.