Change Your Image
zacharybell
Reviews
Pelleas et Melisande (2012)
Terrible Staging
For an opera praised for it's human expression, this staging is as robotic and emotionless as is possible. This really hurts the experience of the opera. I'm not against abstraction, but it is pretty absurd for a character to sing about how it feels to hold the other person's long hair while they are on the other side of the stage with their hair in a bun.
The lighting is also very strange. There are a few very stark changes that seem to happen at random places, rather than highlighting a climax or important moment. Aside from these spots, it is mostly a stagnant blue the entire time.
Musically, the orchestra did a good job, and the singers did a pretty decent job.
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022)
One of the worst movies I've ever seen
The plot makes no sense, the subplots aren't tied up, the characters are stupid, the script is awful, and the music is terrible. I'm astonished to see that most user reviews of this movie are positive. Am I going crazy?!?
The family is scared of the crocodile but once he sings they are suddenly in love with him (seriously, what's the deal with the mom flirting with Lyle???)
This whole movie played out like some sort of fever dream, and now that I'm done watching, it seems like my brain is repressing my memories of it (thank goodness).
Why is Javier Bardum in this movie? He's not Hugh Jackman.
And again, the music is terrible. The chord progressions are cliche, the lyrics sound like they were written by a child, and the singing is some sort of terrible boy-band style pop washed with autotune.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Cleverly Bad
This movie is better at being bad then many movies are at being good. Obviously, it is intentionally a terrible movie, and it succeeds in many ways, making it a decent movie.
August Rush (2007)
Insulting to Actual Musicians
I'm not sure what the creators of this were thinking, I suppose they were relying on the general public's ignorance, and based on the average User Rating, it worked.
Every scene involving classical music in the movie was a joke, and was deeply insulting to me. The Juilliard school would never accept the character of Evan because his music is crap, especially his orchestra piece. The New York Philharmonic wouldn't have a guest artist play such an easy cello piece, and certainly wouldn't have a guest artist who couldn't play perfectly in tune. Evan messed up conducting multiple times. The list goes on.
For someone who heard music all around him in New York, Evan's orchestra piece sounds like it came out of the CPE. Listen to composer Eliot Carter, who actually did use New York as inspiration, and compare the music.
Very annoying to watch, but perhaps even more annoying was reading the high ratings reviews given by the public.
Enemy (2013)
Low Ratings are Due to Lack of Understanding
I thought that this movie was ok, but after reading an explanation, I saw that there is so much more to "Enemy" than most viewers will pick up on. I really appreciate how Villanueve doesn't just hand the audience immediate explanations. Instead, Villanueve treats the audience as mature adults capable of understanding a complicated movie. Unfortunately, most of the audience would rather not think.
Green Room (2015)
Way overrated
None of the characters in this film made any sense, and the way the Neo-Nazis tried to kill them was the most incompetent plan I've ever seen. For example, Patrick Stewart kept saying things like "we need to sprint now" and things to that effect, implying that they need to kill them quickly, but at the same time, he would only send in like 1 or 2 guys to go do it, and didn't learn from the fact that they would come back without killing everyone each time. The script was awful, and things just didn't make sense, especially the blonde girl. She went from the character of a crying, scared girl to the character of a capable, slow walking killer in just a few minutes. They also kept returning to the "desert island band" line which was neither funny or symbolic of anything. The reason it's a 3 for me and not a 1 is because of the exposition.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Mary Poppins hates poor London Learies
Mary Poppins has a scheme in this film; a scheme to wipe out all of London's learies in one fell swoop and shroud London in darkness. She brilliantly tricks all of the working learies into climbing up the side of Big Bend using only flimsy wooden ladders, only to torment them psychologically by flying up and doing the job herself. Much to her dismay, the skilled Londeners survive this endevour.