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Reviews
Deep Rising (1998)
A decent movie
I'm not sure why it's got such bad reviews, sure its cheesy, but I dunno, I guess its the good kind of cheesy. The characters are a bit linear, and the film takes a while to lift off, and get to the action, but I'd say its worth it. I'm not sure about Janssen's part though, sure it was there, but I think she was a bit underdeveloped, and just sort of 'throw in there'. Don't get me wrong, I really like her, but her part could have been a bit more interesting.
This was a bargain film that I watched with a few mates just a sec ago, and we all laughed and enjoyed it. If you've got a spare hour and a bit, I'd give it a go.
Bit of a open ending, but meh.
Creep (2004)
I'm ashamed to be British because of this film.
Turd. Pure Turd. This film was 85 Min's too long.
Firstly, the main character had many chances to kill 'the creep', but rather than do so, she decides to make this film like a Scooby-Doo episode, by running away screaming, going through endless tunnels and train tracks!
[*Some info below I learnt from the bonus features DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW M-KAY?]
Second, OK SO, the Creep's name is Craig, he was a little boy that was being tested on, and when some government dudes came to save them all, he decided to HIDE, so he was stuck down there. Sounds OK right? SO
[*YOU CAN READ WITHOUT SPOILS NOW KAY]*
WHY IN THE NAME OF THE GOOD LORD DOES HE HAVE SUPER HUMAN ABILITYS? Just because you live in a cave/underground tunnel, doesn't mean you suddenly gain these ability's. BUT THATS NOT ALL. Not only is he SUPER HUMAN, he also kills people for no god damn reason.
Thirdly, why was there unneeded sexual stuff in there? OK I'm a girl, and they represented women as dolls in this film. The main characters aim was to have sex with George Clooney. Stereotypical? Oh yeah, and there was a rape scene also, and stuff about a mans wilkins. All had nothing to do with the plot.
That about raps up this turd heap of a film.
Kidulthood (2006)
Hideously Stereotypical
OK, so I'm 16, live on the outskirts of London, in a little place called Bexley. I go to a London college/school, go to central/most parts of London on a weekly basis.
Now you know that I live in the same sort of area that this film is set, I can now tell you from experience of living here that this film is just awful.
It takes the typical 'chav' stereotype, and for those that don't know, a chav is normally a teen, that wears hoodies over caps and tasteless 'bling'. Chavs by definition, are a group of youths that like causing misery, either to old people, by intimidating them, or mugging them, to the middle aged, via asking them to buy fags and alcohol, and to people their age, by beating them up e.t.c
What this film does, is take this extreme stereotype, and makes a film on it, making London life seem like a pile of steaming turd. Chavs total about 10% of the total college/school population in my area, its different in other places. So this film, TAKES this small percentage of thugs, and makes it seem like EVERYONE in London that is a TEEN is like this.
The basic plot consists of typical 'chav' life:
Getting your girlfriend up the duff! Doing drugs. Drinking excessively. Having underage sex.
(sarcasm) YES. This is what London life is like for TEENS. THIS FILM IS ACCURATE. ALL 15 YEAR OLDS DO THIS IS London YUP. (/sarcasm)
Seriously, if you don't live in London, don't judge us on this. I feel ashamed to be a Londoner because of this film. I can string a sentence together, with real English, unlike the plebs in the film.
Fat Slags (2004)
Yawn...
OK this movie ain't bad, I mean it was an OK laugh.
It just lacks any real plot, it's bland, and the humour doesn't really make up for the whole film being about two, fat, loud mouthed northerners.
I was just really shocked it wasn't better, mainly because there are LOADS of top notch British actors in it. The character 'San' was in 'Smack the Pony' that was really popular, James Dreyfus, was in 'Gimme gimme gimme' another popular show. Ralf Little, also in another popular show, 'The Royale Family'. Not to mention Anthony Head and Naomi Campbell. The film makers even got Eamonn Homes on there, along with the guy that used to do 'Have I Got News For You', Angus Deayton. And many more...
Why am I mentioning these names that most readers don't bat an eyelid to? It's because they're decent British actors/actresses/whatever, and they are in this s*** film. Whoever made this film had a lot of cash, to bag all those actors/actresses to star in it. Now all of them wish they hadn't starred in it, I bet they all deny they are in it, it's that bad.
But hey, what the hell can you expect? It's called 'FAT SLAGS' and its based of a comic. If there's 'nowt' else on, watch it, its a cheap laugh. Just don't expect a HILARIOUS film, with a plot.