savvypatachonica Reviews

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Just no

[20 May 2024]

I have a lot of patience for movies like this, I love a mindless Kaiju flick... but this was messy hot garbage. I couldn't finish it and that was after an hour and a half. It is mind boggling to me that visually most of the film looked like a trailer for a PlayStation game circa 2008 with a budget of 135 million. Utter madness and inexcusable. Where did the money go? Not on the cast, not on the incredibly sloppy script. I like Dan Stevens but he's not that expensive, and wasn't at his best. If you really want to watch a mopey ginger ape derp around for two hours with useless background humans who never seem to understand the plot themselves, go for it I guess. Lame.

The Good Doctor: Skin in the Game (2024) Season 7, Episode 2

Jumped the shark. And maybe an orca.

[30 April 2024]

I have to bail on this show once and for all... I was hanging on by a thread the last couple seasons because I love a few of the characters but things have just gotten lazy and repetitive, and the characters I liked are consistently acting, well... out of character just for the sake of drama and friction. I get it, have to have conflict somehow, but it feels like they're really spitballing and phoning it in the past few years. I understand the concept of "oh, what if there's another person on the spectrum who doesn't get along with Shaun, wouldn't that be interesting?" Turns out, no. It's very grating and uncomfortable. She's supremely unlikable, though clearly some people like her based on other reviews unless they're shills, and she makes Shaun's character less likable in the process. Also an unrealistic scenario, not that realism is the show's primary goal. I'm sure the two will find common ground and it'll all be unicorns and rainbows in the end but what I've seen so far has been pretty hard to sit through. I wish I had stopped sooner because I don't really like anybody anymore, and their motivations are all bizarre. Plus there's gratuitous baby stuff on two fronts no more. It's the last season so I thought I should stick it out, but just... no.

Tracker (2024– )

Just embarrassingly bad

[25 March 2024]

It's going to take me more effort to hit the required character count in writing this review than it took to write any given episode of this show. I'm almost annoyed with myself for bothering to spend any time at all on this sad attempt of a series, but I feel insulted by this show on several levels. It is pure lowest common denominator, like a bad soap opera except those lean into to the absurdity so much that they are at least funny. This is not funny, or entertaining on any level at all, and I am genuinely concerned for the careers of anybody who touched this show. The actors seem like they're reading from a teleprompter half the time. Do they not have the budget to do a second take? I've been to table reads that felt more natural. What a total waste.

Madame Web (2024)

Looked like it might be bad, was even worse than imagined.

[28 February 2024]

I don't know what I was thinking getting a ticket for this stinker in advance... the trailer was full of cringe, but I suppose I was just bored and wanted something fun to go see on a date night. I'm also pretty well versed in this universe, but all I can say (before I continue saying more because there's a character limit on IMDB) is ICK. There is nothing exciting or remotely endearing about this mess. Just another super hero movie because that's been a cash cow in other situations but this particular film is just a soulless placeholder trying to get people in seats. Congrats, you got my money. I hope nobody else is as dumb as I was. Complete waste of time.

Doom Patrol: Immortimas Patrol (2023) Season 4, Episode 9

I enjoy this show. This episode was a miss.

[26 January 2024]

I agree with the other reviewer. Musical episodes have become a weird gimmick on TV shows, often when a series is coming to an end. I'm sure it's fun for the cast, but it's not usually so fun for the viewer. There are definitely exceptions when it works, but only a small percentage.

This show is very wacky, so I could handle one quick musical number but not a whole episode. It was poorly executed, unnecessary for the plot or character development... clearly meant to be fun and refreshing, but to me it was total cringe.

I literally couldn't stand it after about 15-20 mins and just skipped to the next episode and watched the recap. I clearly missed nothing important.

I recommend you do the same.

Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

I wasn't expecting much, but yikes.

[1 January 2024]

The first one was really quite bad, but at least seemed self aware of its mindless creature feature nature. It still had the occasional jump scare and silly "so bad, it's funny" moments. This sequel has absolutely nothing going for it. I'm being generous with a 2/10. It was boring nonsense from beginning to end. Terrible performances across the board, worse than terrible writing with wall to wall cringe worthy dialogue... I get what they were going for trying to pack in other scary creatures but meh. Lame execution and didn't care enough about any single character to respond to what crazy thing was eating who.

Maybe the stupid "Chomp On This" hip hop credits song would have been funny if any part of the movie had been remotely entertaining. Instead, it made it even worse because the confident tone of it only works if any part of the film had been successful and satisfying.

Do not waste your time.

The Killer (2023)

A solid 7. Not as bad as some say.

[18 November 2023]

I like several of Fincher's previous films a lot, so my expectations were reasonably high with this one. I admit, I was a little let down overall, but it wasn't bad. Good performances, nice camerawork... great score. However, the pacing was slow (I admit, I fell asleep during a whole section and had to double back), and the ending fell flat. There was all kinds of build up, only to fizzle out completely at the end. I understood the subtext, it wasn't particularly subtle about the message, but it was still ultimately not terribly satisfying. That being said, it was perfectly decent for a rainy weekend afternoon. Not trash, not Oscar worthy, just watchable. Fincher can do and has done much better.

Fool's Paradise (2023)

A very generous 3/10

[18 November 2023]

Just a total snooze fest. It's been said in other reviews, and I'm not normally one to pile on, but dead lord... what happened here? I like Charlie Day just fine, the rest of the cast is good, the plot is of course quite dumb which isn't always a bad thing in a comedy such as this one, but it's simply not funny... ever, at all. It's just like the world's worst episode of curb your enthusiasm or something where there's no script at all and we're all expected to find it funny because the actors were funny in other things we've already seen.

I am someone who sticks out bad movies - almost always - but I gave up and stopped watching a little more than halfway through. I just didn't care, wasn't laughing, and had better things to do.

Skip this one.

The Nun II (2023)

Was it bad? Well sure!

[7 October 2023]

Ah crud, I have to say more about it... the first one at least could be relied upon to occasionally startle you. The Nun II was just a nap waiting to happen. I literally fell asleep twice and had to be nudged back to consciousness... twice. Not scary, not clever, not worth your time on any level.

Crap, still need to write a few hundred characters about nothing. This will benefit nobody, what is the point of this character requirement anyway? I'm not a bot, ask me about anything! You're a bot! You're not, you're just a form, it's just fun to yell.

Anyway... Nun II sucks, don't bother unless it's fee on your streaming service of choice, in which case put it on and enjoy a tranquil slumber.

One Piece (2023– )

I didn't expect much, but I absolutely love it.

[25 September 2023]

I admit, when I write reviews it's usually when something is so dreadful it makes me genuinely upset. I should take the time to write more positive reviews when something is deserving.

I am a fan of anime and manga, but this one somehow escaped my notice until now, so I'll have to go back to the source material after this series.

Everything about this show is endearing and fun. It's exciting at times, silly even more often, heartwarming just as often. I have nothing negative to say. The cast is great all around, and the actor who plays Luffy is just painfully lovable through and through. Moreover, it's a great family show to be enjoyed by tweens and oldies alike.

Netflix has had a lot of big misses the past few years, but this one shows they can still put out some great content. Well done. (I don't think I've ever given a 10/10 before on IMDb...)

Ragnarok: Ragnarok (2023) Season 3, Episode 6

Oh my... it's a big no.

[4 September 2023]

If this was going to be a psychological drama, there needed to be hints of it sooner than the finale. Just dumping the "it was all in his head" thing on us during the very last episode is anticlimactic and lazy. It also doesn't make sense in the context of the rest of the series. It seems like a weird choice someone made when they thought there would be a 4th season and was told this is where the series is going to end... sloppy, sloppy, sloppy... awkward and unsatisfying. It's such a shame because there were a lot of lovable characters who had some decent development, both good guys and bad, and this finale did them a disservice.

What a shame. It was a pretty fun show that totally fell off a cliff at the last second. Yuck.

Heartstopper (2022– )

I didn't know this show existed but...

[9 July 2023]

It's so heartwarming and relatable for people like me. I was very lucky to be in a progressive private school since I was quite young, so I wasn't bullied much (not to say I wasn't bullied at all), but I came out at a very young age and my first love was a bisexual guy who was very confused about his identity. It's nice to see this represented... I've only had a couple bisexual friends and they were both extremely frustrated because gay people often assume people claim to be bisexual because they don't want to be "fully" gay... it's sometimes a stepping stone to coming out, when all your friends are talking about girls. But bisexuality is a real thing, and it's not cool to assume someone is just afraid to say they're gay when they're going through something else that is perhaps more confusing.

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent. Really sweet show. Funny, heartbreaking, heartwarming... good stuff all around.

The Flash: Wildest Dreams (2023) Season 9, Episode 7

Better than the previous episode, but...

[30 March 2023]

Not by a whole lot. The previous episode was just kind of a dull filler episode that had me looking at how close I was to the end so many times I eventually gave up a little before the end.

This one, I'm giving a 5/10 since it was watchable but mediocre at best. Lots of boring dreamscape scenes with Iris and Nia (and a big blue Jawa stalking them), awkward scenes between Mark and Khione including an incredibly cringey bar scene with an awkward jam-packed chorus of unnecessary and over the top reaction shots from every extra in the background listening in on their conversation... this was so weird I was convinced it was another dream sequence at first, and about 5 minutes total of Barry screen time (zero minutes total of Flash on screen).

This season has been a let down, but this is the second worst so far. I hope it picks up. It would be nice to see the series go out on a high note, but it's not looking good.

Alaska Daily: Rush to Judgment (2023) Season 1, Episode 9

Well... there it is. Cheap canned conflict.

[23 March 2023]

I had high hopes for this show, still do I suppose. Hilary Swank is great, as is the supporting cast. Gabriel is unusually lovable, for one. The underlying topic is also extremely important and needs attention... the treatment of indigenous women within our justice system and in general is beyond troubling.

It is fresh and important to bring light to that particular subject, and I give major phony phpoints for doing so.

Unfortunately, it wanders into all too familiar boring territory after a few episodes. We are set up for an interesting serialized mystery but what we're going to get is a monster/story of the week it's a slow aimless subplot. What a bummer. It could have been something special and this isn't going to survive to season 2 if this is the path they've chosen.

How to Get Away with Murder: Stay (2020) Season 6, Episode 15

Are you kidding with these high marks for the grand finale?

[23 March 2023]

I suppose it makes some sense that only the super fans made it all the way to the end, and would give it such praise, but a 10? Lots and lots of 10s? I smell a pile of shills.

I struggled to get through season 6, but in for a penny in for a pound... figured I might as well finish. I honestly don't know where to begin, but it's just about as unsatisfying an ending of any series in history. We knew there was going to be a twist or two with the Annalise funeral teasers. That's fine I guess. But the whole season was aimless and meandering... and just ended with a mindless thud like a sack of doorknobs.

Oliver and Connor are getting a divorce! Oh wait they're now like 50 something and still together. Annalise was murdered?! No just Bonnie and Frank were shot but nobody cares. Annalise died of old age and magically got her life together I guess. Wes is still alive?! No, his son just looks like him with a haircut... Laurel's story? Pretty stupid and unresolved. Michaela? I can't even remember her at the very end, she became so irredeemable I started to block out her character.

What a terrible end to a show that had some potential.

Gotham Knights (2023)

Well... I seem to be one of the few smack dab in the middle

[21 March 2023]

There's a big pile of 1 star reviews, and a big pile of 10 star reviews (which are suspicious and likely part of a marketing campaign to offset all the negativity). If you truly enjoy the show, and I can believe some do, it would be at best a 7 or 8 unless it's the first time you've ever watched television.

For me, it's landing with a big boring thump of a 4/10. The cast isn't terrible, production design is decent for a CW show. That's pretty much where it ends. The show starts out with the only character any of us really care about dead on the sidewalk. We suffered through CW's cringy Batwoman, thankfully that's dead, but was hoping for a cool Gotham centric show to replace it. This isn't it. There is definitely an angle where a story about an adopted kid whose father dies and then learns his dad was Batman all along, could be engaging and interesting. This isn't that story. It's clumsy, the characters are generic unlikable teens with no chemistry and no reason for us to care about any of them. And then there's Harvey Dent who seems to be possessed by the spirit of a lazy Jim Gordon.

I don't know what to say really, except yawn. It's only the first episode, I'll make myself watch the second before I give up for good... pilot episodes are often really lackluster at best, but I'm not optimistic.

Will Trent: Two Hundred Dollars and a Bus Pass (2023) Season 1, Episode 8

I really want to like this show

[4 March 2023]

It's episodic which is fine. It's also formulaic crime show... it's a popular format, I get it. Unfortunately it's already so formulaic that it's hard to care about the characters as a viewer, and hard to care about the relationships we see on screen.

I know we're supposed to be rooting for the title character, but I find myself ambivalent. I haven't read the book in this case, but you shouldn't have to in order to enjoy an adaptation.

There is an extended character requirement these days, which I feel mixed about... but I have to keep going, apparently, as a result. Chihuahuas are not my favorite breed but Betty is quite cute. Will's love for her is an important and endearing part of the story.

I have hope for this show, but it hasn't found its footing quite yet.

Glass Onion (2022)

I'm glad others enjoyed it, but I feel like we were watching different films...

[31 December 2022]

I liked the original Knives Out ok. It was maybe a 6-7/10 for me. This Glass Onion installment is a completely different story. Great cast, passable concept though nothing extraordinary, but the writing, directing and editing (good gracious, the editing) were amateurish at best... a notch above abysmal. Yes, I get that it's satire, no it wasn't going over my head. Being satirical doesn't give you a free pass for sloppy filmmaking. You don't get points for ATTEMPTING to be original, quirky and stylish, you get points for actually succeeding at those things. Glass Onion is a swing and a miss on all those fronts. I couldn't make it to the end, which is a shame because I really wanted to like it. The trailer made it seem like good fun, but I think I now have wrinkles on my face from cringing for the entire 50 minutes or so that I managed to sit through. Thankfully, my friends felt the same way and we were all waiting for someone to chime in and ask if it was ok to turn it off and watch something else.

The Vampire Diaries: The Downward Spiral (2015) Season 6, Episode 16

Enough already

[30 September 2022]

I was happy to be along for the ride, but I think I've officially run out of patience with this show. It's had its highs and lows, but it has gotten extremely repetitive and predictable to the point I don't care what happens to anybody anymore. Part of the problem is everyone is constantly dying and coming back, so the stakes aren't ever real. The other problem is characters we used to care about are constantly swinging wildly from likable to loathsome. Just kill everyone and be done with it. It is mind boggling to think there are two more seasons after this one... I only made it through the first season because of quarantine boredom, and then it got better for a few seasons. It is god awful now, and I don't have another 2 1/2 seasons of optimism to make it through the rest of this nonsense.

The Blacklist: The Protean (No. 36) (2021) Season 8, Episode 18

Liz's character took a bad turn and is making the show flat out frustrating.

[29 May 2021]

I'm still watching because I'm a little invested, Red and Dembe are still an interesting, likable duo, and the FBI task force folks are consistent. Aram and Cooper remain likable and there are lots of fun characters on the sidelines... but Keen needs to be killed off pronto. She was perfectly good for a bunch of seasons but they've written her into a bad corner. Her motivations are unrealistic, and she's become completely unhinged and unlikeable. She's now a traitor, a terrible mother, and getting friends killed left and right. She's also not interesting or charismatic enough to make her a compelling or complicated villain/antihero like Red is. Liz needs to go... She's irredeemable at this point. Kill her off or end the show. I don't see any path back for her.

Earth to Ned (2020–2021)

Slow build, but eventually silly and delightful

[19 February 2021]

I was not at all into the first episode, but kept watching because it's Covid times and I'm bored. It got more goofy and lovable as time went on, and you become attached to the characters (and the quirkiness of the puppeteering) and the puppets themselves / the absurdity of it all.

It's not genius but it's cute, harmless fun. A lot of the guests are fun and on point, and it's well edited. It makes me smile, even if it's dumb. I think we all need a smile where we can get one... plus in true muppet fashion, it's kid friendly but there are jokes only adults will be giggling at.

Tilting the score a bit higher because it deserves more of a chance to grow.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995)

Holds up, in every way.

[9 February 2021]

I really can't find anything to pick on. I recently rewatched Batman Beyond (which has lots of issues but is still fun) and decided to keep working backwards and here I am with BMTAS.

There are fewer frames, but they are beautiful Art Deco Gotham magic. And the score, not just the main theme, the music throughout each episode of the series is so singularly great for a show like this. I get chills from the music and long story short, they really don't make them like this anymore. A rare gem from the 90s.

Earth to Ned (2020–2021)

Pretty fun if you give it a chance

[2 February 2021]

I was highly skeptical, because of other shows like Muppets Tonight that have tried a similar concept and fell flat. After a few episodes, I found myself full on giggling at the absurdity of it all.

It's very light and silly, the voice acting (and editing) is very solid, the creature/puppet design is great... it's all just goofy fun. I've had a hard time winning others over to give it a chance, but it's a refreshingly silly little show with some lovably odd alien puppets that might make you smile if you let them.

Bridgerton (2020– )

I appreciate what they're going for, but... HORK

[28 January 2021]

Painful and cringe-worthy. There's not much to say about this, it's just a swing and a miss. The Great did an awesome job of seamlessly integrating a diverse cast in a story which would traditionally be super white. This attempt was clunky, and that's not the worst of it... the writing is iffy and the romantic elements are downright uncomfortable. I could go on, but this review isn't worth your time any more than the show is. Hard pass.

Earth to Ned (2020–2021)

Surprisingly silly and cute.

[22 January 2021]

It's a very goofy concept, and I was highly skeptical, but it's actually pretty quirky and fun. Kind of like a cross between Jiminy Glick and Space Ghost Coast to Coast but with muppets (and with a bit of a Comedy Bang Bang tone, if you're familiar). Great voice acting and editing too... not every joke totally lands, but no cringe worthy humor so far and it has made me laugh out loud several times.

Light, silly and refreshing, with great puppeteering from the Henson studio.