dnljordaan Reviews

Despite Everything (2019)

Don't waste your time.

[1/10 · 20 August 2019]

The Spaniards are known for producing below standard comedies, but this one takes the cake. It is long winded and totally predictable. This movie also dances with stereotyping minorities and the laughs are non existent.

Trafficked (2017)

Don't waste your precious time.

[1/10 · 15 August 2018]

Not much to say about this movie other than it's very, very bad. They have really scraped the barrel in terms of actors.

Demon (2015)

Artsy romantic horror thriller?

[4/10 · 9 August 2018]

Not sure what to say about this movie other than it has some kind of personality disorder and tries to stick it's finger into too many movie genre pies.

I have however learnt that Polish weddings are a blast and I'm off to make some Polish friends so I could get invited to their booze fuelled celebrations.

Left Behind (I) (2014)

Christian Propaganda - VILE

[1/10 · 4 August 2018]

The gambler, flirter, liar, Muslim, millionaire, drug user, 'nonbeliever', cheater - all get to stay behind on earth while the 'holy' are magically sucked up to heaven (aka rapture). This movie is best seen whilst being COMPLETELY stoned. It's is a terrible, terrible movie and you shouldn't waste your time with it, unless you're on your way to heaven.

The Charnel House (2016)

Ratings higher than 5 for this movie are probably fake.

[1/10 · 3 August 2018]

Just when I thought that I've seen the worse movie in my life so far; this came along. Don't waste your time - it is truly awful.

Romina (2018)

I have no words

[1/10 · 21 July 2018]

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. How on earth did this make its way into Netflix? It was probably some film-student project... Nope, not even going to try and justify it. Don't watch it. Just don't.

The Con is On (2018)

WTF?!

[3/10 · 17 July 2018]

I don't understand how and why previously successful actors become involved with toilet humour projects like this. The Mexican housekeeper is funny though; hence the 3 stars.

Realive (2016)

Slow start. Slow end.

[3/10 · 17 July 2018]

Although the idea behind the film is interesting, the acting, set and overall production are not going to win any Oscars. All in all; a good one to watch whilst browsing Instagram - you will not really miss anything.

The Skin of the Wolf (2017)

The moral of the story...

[5/10 · 16 July 2018]

...do NOT trust your in-laws; especially if you can buy their daughters for some wolf skins.

How It Ends (2018)

Edge of your seat watching

[8/10 · 14 July 2018]

Action thriller which kept me anticipating and thinking all the way to the end. Yes, it stops abruptly but no questions are left unanswered. It is and end of the world movie which is one of the more realistic I've seen. I enjoyed it - each to his own though.

The Midnight Man (III) (2016)

Horrifically Bad

[1/10 · 8 July 2018]

There is absolutely no point to the plot, and the acting is scarier than the concept. Skip this one, going to the dentist would be more of a pleasure.

Flatliners (2017)

A complete and utter flatline.

[1/10 · 2 July 2018]

Don't waste your time and life watching this film. The acting was so poor it left me gasping for breath. Diego Luna's oily hair was the most entertaining aspect of the whole movie.