jackmuley Reviews

What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Better than you'd think!

[7/10 · 14 July 2008]

I know what you're thinking-- this is too high of a score. And I would have agreed with you. That is, until I actually saw this movie.

I had no desire whatsoever to see this movie, and when the reviews came in that the ship was sinking, there was no convincing me otherwise. Then it came to the dollar theater and my wife pleaded. Her reasoning was that even if it's awful it's only a dollar, right? So I resentfully went along with some friends of ours. Surprisingly, half-way through the movie, I'm not annoyed with it. In fact, despite every urge to call it crap based on pre-judgments, I find myself laughing out loud. It wasn't a fluke either. Our whole theater was laughing. Because it's a funny movie.

It was a good comedy-- no question. Usually I can't stand Cameron Diaz, but she seemed fine to me. Ashton Kutcher was his usual stupid yet charismatic self, and Rob Corddry was the highlight for me. Every single time he got on screen I was guaranteed a laugh.

So for those of you looking for a comedy that is actually funny, look no farther. This movie just fell victim to being rated on the same scale as the Godfather, when people should really rank it from 1-10 based on what they expect from a comedy.

Wishing I could-- 7.5 out of 10

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Not as Good as Advertised

[4/10 · 17 June 2008]

I had hoped that since the last Hulk movie came out only five years ago that this one would be something really incredible, something so good that it couldn't have waited. And it wasn't.

The movie tries to be too dramatic. Several scenes go into slow motion and drag themselves out, trying for drama but just taking more time. It seemed as though they were ignoring the pattern of a story (beginning, rising action, etc...) and just went for climax after climax, which I didn't buy into because there was no rising action.

The visual effects were impressive, but personally I can't enjoy a film that is powered mainly on how it looks. That can only be cool for so long.

In the end, I didn't really care much about any of the characters. Emil Blonsky was the most forced of them all, who just seems to be the generic bad guy without being an awesome bad guy.

slight spoilers!!! Towards the end of the movie, the Hulk does a "Hulk Smash" by pounding on the ground, and he unfortunately says, "Hulk Smash!" right before he does it. It felt like hearing "it's morphing time" or something equally cheesy.

My personal recommendation is to play Hulk: Ultimate Destruction instead.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Saddest Moment

[1/10 · 26 May 2008]

You may hear reviews that seem somewhat positive. What you are really hearing is the inner child who is crushed by this freakishly awful movie, crying out in desperation for something to hold on to.

That's what I wanted to do throughout this movie. As it failed over and over to catch even a whiff of the original trilogy's flavor, my head sunk further into my hands.

Complete with needless/cheesy looking CGI essential for any recent George Lucas movie, unforgivable dialogue, and all new levels of unrealistic scenes. And I don't mean scenes where the Ark uses magical power, because that's believable, I mean where there is no mystic power involved but things still happen that 10 year old kids won't even buy.

I can't help from thinking that Lucas should be forced into retirement. People will defend this movie only on the pretense of their love for the originals, but any brain that operates so poorly as to think that this was a good movie shouldn't be allowed to make movies in the future.

I wanted to cry the whole second half. 2/10

The Benchwarmers (2006)

Happy Madison strikes again!

[10/10 · 29 April 2006]

You know what? After all of the criticism I had heard surrounding this movie, I fully expected it to be horrible. But once again, it turns out that snobby critics just don't seem to understand Adam Sandlers sense of humor. Regardless of their ignorance, this was the funniest movie of 2006. Jon Heder (Napoleon) proves that he's pretty much going to make people laugh whenever he opens his mouth. Benchwarmers had a lot of the guys from the Longest Yard, which was the last movie to be as funny as this one. I wasn't looking forward to David Spade, who had avoided actually funny movies since Joe Dirt, but he really rocked in this one. You could easily forget who the actor was because he looked so different. His brother, despite being weirder than all get out (eg: eating Sun Screen from the bottle) was hilarious. The movie does have plenty of bathroom humor, groin hits and physical humor, but it's always done just right. In one scene, Heder hits himself three times in a row with his own bat, but it just gets funnier each time. As a movie in general, this was really quite good, but as far as comedies this year, I give it a ten out of ten.

Life Is Beautiful (1997)

Top three best movies of all time

[10/10 · 13 March 2006]

I think that people are initially very hesitant of watching this movie because of the subtitles. IT IS WORTH IT. My wife was not excited at all, but later admitted that she loved it. It is her favorite movie now, and I can't blame her at all. I'm a guy, and I like guy movies, but this movie will make the most macho man in the world have at least an allergic reaction. Between my wife and myself, we probably used half of a box of tissues. I don't think that a movie has ever been so serious and funny and romantic all in one. Everything is done so well, and it's clean. A child could watch it, as long as they could read, but an intellectual movie buff is not above this movie. Ten out of ten. I don't think that any part of the movie could have been improved on.

Hook (1991)

People forget....

[8/10 · 13 March 2006]

I have read some horrible reviews for a great movie. Complaints about Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, etc. But they were perfect. Captain Hook was never meant to be a menacing villain. He's afraid of a dead crocodile. And Robin Williams was perfect as the chubby Peter Panning, mainly because he's perfect in pretty much any kids show (see Alladin, Mrs. Doubtfire). This movie is tons of fun for kids, or anyone else who has a youthful imagination. If there is a downside of the movie, it is the subplot of Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts, who is horrible in Hook) being in love with Peter. This never goes anywhere, and I think we often look for the plot to follow the big name celebrities. She really wasn't needed and didn't help the movie. But the overall feel is fun. I recommend it for anyone who is or ever was a little kid.