davesykes Reviews

Parallax (2023)

I guess everyone who worked on the movie reviewed it !

[1/10 · 8 May 2024]

That's the only logical explanation for the exaggerated rating of this "movie''. The movie tries to be all metaphysical and mysterious but it ends up being long and boring.

I had a hard time finishing it.

The acting is mediocre. The 2 main actors are like High school level actors. The dialogue is laughable and so poorly delivered that it made me uncomfortable. Seriously, don't waste your time watching this one, may as well re-watch one of your favourite movies than this snooze fest. Clearly one of the hardest movie I've suffered through. I know all I've written is the opposite of the other 14 reviews but, Hey...I didn't work on this movie.

The Long Night (2022)

Not worth the time

[2/10 · 24 March 2024]

It could've been better with other actors. These 2 were bad, like high school play bad ! It goes nowhere, it's so stretched out that you have to skip forward.

The only great thing about this movie was the music it was a thousand times scarier than the movie

It could've been better with other actors. These 2 were bad, like high school play bad ! It goes nowhere, it's so stretched out that you have to skip forward.

The only great thing about this movie was the music it was a thousand times scarier than the movie. The only great thing about this movie was the music it was a thousand times scarier than the movie.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

MEGA letdown. A waste of $$$ and Time.

[1/10 · 22 November 2022]

So bad. The casting, dialogue . The Orgy of bobble gum CGI. All of it. In the Graphic Novel Valerian is a tough guy with greying temples, he's like 40 at least. Laureline looks to be 25. In the movie they have KIDS portraying them. I was really waiting for this movie,I' m being a big fan of the graphic novels, what a MEGA letdown !

REPEAT : So bad. The casting, dialogue . The Orgy of bobble gum CGI. All of it. In the Graphic Novel Valerian is a tough guy with greying temples, he's like 40 at least. Laureline looks to be 25. In the movie they have KIDS portraying them. I was really waiting for this movie,I' m being a big fan of the graphic novels, what a MEGA letdown !

The Monster (2016)

Could've been good if...

[4/10 · 5 November 2022]

This movie could've been good if it didn't go deep into non sense fast !

I'm not going enumerate all of the non sense happening in this movie as I have only one life to live, and many reviewers better than me have already done so. I do like the actress who plays the mother (Zoe Kazan) and she's good in this movie. Proof is we all hate her after only a few minutes in. Her daughter (Ella Ballentine) is also pretty good and believable in her role of a kid who had to grow up too fast because of her mother's problems. Their relationship is as much the Monster as the ''real'' Monster, yes we got that too. What sucks about this movie is the scenario and the dialogue, not the idea itself. The idea is time tested : Stranded and facing death. Which is how I felt after 30 minutes watching this. The creature itself is laughable, but even that could've worked if the scenario and dialogue were better AND logical. The creature seems to also be highly flammable, so much so that I had to go back to see if I had missed something, like maybe the little girl had doused it in fuel or alcohol while I blinked. But nope, just your average highly combustible monster I guess. One last thing the movie is dark almost ALL the time, we rarely see what's really going on. Unless you're just in to watch an ok movie while doing something else, I would not recommend this movie.

Coherence (2013)

Great story, the rest is crap

[1/10 · 27 October 2022]

The shaky camera work is enough to send you running out the door screaming. The fact that no shot is longer than 3 or 4 seconds is very irritating to say the least, the out of focus cam also is so repetitive that it gets on your nerves. The Constant chatter and speaking over each other will also drive you mad. I found the acting poor. This thing feels like a play more than a movie. Alot of people loved it. I think maybe they loved the idea of it. Because the delivery sucked on so many fronts that it made it unwatchable for me. This movie (and many of its reviews) feel pretentious. Like :oh you don't get it. Watch something else please !

Planet of the Sharks (2016 TV Movie)

Did anyone else see her ?

[2/10 · 5 October 2021]

It is a given that those movies are so bad they are good, or at the very least funny. This one is just very bad. They are in 3 to 4 feet in the water. It's so shallow that they have to stand on the side or even touch the bottom.

Now..about that ghost. Did anyone else, or was it just me that saw a black girl (the one rescued from the first (barrel) attack. What's up with her ? She does nothing, says nothing, has nothing to do in the 'plan' During the movie I was sure she would somehow save the day. And it's suppose to be super hot on earth yet she super overdressed ! So I though maybe she's hiding something ! YES ! She was some kind of Mutant ! She would reveal a fish body or some special appendage to guide or talk to the sharks But nope. She might as well not have been in the movie, yet she's with the main characters and almost in every scene.

Worse part. The 3 feet/1 meter deep ocean ! And everything else, the animation is...so so bad. The action scenes are ridiculous, the flying weightless sharks. Every single CGI was laughable. The acting is bad very bad (The award goes to the crazy black hair lady with an unrecognizable accent. She was like a caricature of a WWF wrestler or the Evil Woman Vilain in the Power Rangers TV show. A total joke. A plant would've have been better) Though the captain was pretty good I think, believable at least. Shaw also wasn't a bad actress (the main Female lead, the blonde one) So I guess there's a little bit of good. Watch this ONLY if you have time to waste.

Devil's Island (2021)

Good start but no ending...

[3/10 · 21 July 2021]

The movie looks like a draft of a movie. It's lacking all the parts where you'd normally go " Ahh ok !" So much is left unsaid that you have to make your own story with the 2 or 3 details they do tell us. The girl has a certain charm and is not a bad actress. That can't be said for all the other actors in this "movie"

Spinster (2019)

I was pleasantly surprised.

[7/10 · 13 July 2021]

Not my style but I liked it a lot. I thought the movie was good. It feels like you are watching real people being real. Definitely not a Romantic Comedy. More like a slice of someone's life.

I clicked on that movie because I like Chelsea Peretti. I think her Stand-Up is great and she's the only reason I kind of half watched Brooklyn 99. After watching this movie I like her even a little more. In short: Not a Romantic Comedy , more a slice of real life.

Missing Link (1988)

A look into our past

[8/10 · 27 January 2006]

This is not your usual movie. First off there is no dialogue, only a Narrator (who does a great job). This film is made as if a national geographic team had travel back 1000 000 years in time and made a documentary on the last ape-man, one of our many ancestors. I found it more than entertaining, you will actually learn somethings in this movie. The "Star" 's make-up is just awesome and unique as far as i can remember the few films that tackled the prehistoric genre. So If you like anthropology, or are just curious about Man's past and struggles you will love this one. It's scary/funny/tragic/sad... lifelike. And the "Bad Guy" in this movie is YOU and ME - Homo Sapiens. In the line of "Quest for Fire", but even more real.