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Kai_Proctor
Reviews
Devs (2020)
Snoozefest Alert
Great cinematography.
Nice shiny shades of gold a la G.Klimt.
Ruined by far too much of the following flaws namely : exposition of the multi-verse theory, staring into nothingness
; repetition of certain vistas e.g. Maya or whatever the child's name was (yes we get the in-joke of the repetitiousness of the simulation theory)
; too many ARRI scenic shots (hey we have an ARRI woohoo!) money to burn on the technicalities but at the expense of the script
; scene setting shots for the sake of over-indulgence and padding of the running time
; soundtrack set to shuffle (available of spotify/amazon/itunes etc)
; sparse substance to warrant eight episodes, perhaps the creator wanted us to get the infinity sign from the character "8"?
; too many long pauses - so much so that I watched the last seven episodes at 1.40x the speed as this was beyond annoying (thanks VLC)
; delivery of lines was strained and unnecessarily so
; pacing, even with it speeded up was at a snail's pace.
; plot holes aplenty.
Nick Offerman's CHARacter had a security detail of Grandpa Kelton (Z. Grenier) good actor but come on he's hardly Vin Diesel. Grandpa Joe looks like he is about to keel over with a heart attack yet kills Sergey (30-40 years his junior) with a plastic bag - yet Sergey seems to forget to use his hands to attack Grandpa Kelton or poke holes in the bag, furfuxake if Sergey was a spy he would have had basic CQC training from the Spetsnatz.
Grandpa Kelton goes on to kill another spy who was probably twenty years his junior in a parking lot with a little bit of difficulty, although his victim had him in a sleeper hold/back strangle position.
Victim number three, Jamie - Asian defensive programmer/hacker similar age to Sergey. Grandpa K tortures Jamie in a bathtub, the believability of this is beyond naff.
Jamie of course frees Lily Chan from her psychiatric sectioning, but all we see is Jamie at her bed and telling her it's me lets go or words to that effect. There was no preamble to what he did to free her apart from magically teleporting to her bed (is he the Green Lantern or Nightcrawler?)
The main actress seems to be devoid of any emotion apart from staring or looking away. Which is a shame as the rest of the ensemble are up to the task.
Another plot hole is the security of the complex, not exactly hidden as a Google satellite would pick it up on a routine orbit/sweep.
Undoubtedly, I will be called a dullard for not getting the trendy science from this, but the simulation theory is not a new concept. Descartes and even some Roman historians have posited the simulacrum theory from which the word originates.
In the last episode the idea of the God mode, heaven or best of all endings or possibilities is the finale, yet I imagine for all the programmers out there who have guessed that fittingly, this outcome or strand of the perceived multi-verse may be a virtual construct of itself, perhaps even a sub-routine or program within a program. q.v. the simulation simulating itself.
One could even suggest that the program or run through of the multi-verses and those that witness it via the McGuffin in the series is
just a universal holographic representation of perceived or apparent reality.
It can also be argued that our collective perception of reality is a simulation as the very nature of the present goes through a physiological filter which has a delay of the senses on an molecular level.
e.g. We see an event, namely we watch a bird in flight. It takes time for the light to reflect from the bird via our perspective, the time that takes from, we the viewer or observer to process that event is undertook by our brain and from that delay we the present may indeed be an ever constant illusion of the present as marred by the passing of time.
q.v. "Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream", Edgar Allen Poe
TLDR:
Russian Boyfriend gets killed by Grandpa Kelton with whale killing carrier bag and is missing for violating an NDA. Girlfriend investigates disappearance of boyfriend. Girlfriend discovers Russian boyfriend was a Spy.
NFRB reviews footage of suicide and notices from watching too many snuff movies that the flames are fake.
Company tries to clean up loose ends by sectioning girlfriend in a mental facility and expedite her suicide. Non Russian former boyfriend (NRFB) saves her using unseen teleportation device.
Beardyman (owner of the MucGuffin - parallel and multi-verse visualisation device) likes to stare at simulations of past, present and possible home movies of deceased family (aww all say aww), Hooks up with blonde woman. Other workers in the complex like to watch reruns of jesus Christ Superstar (in black and white for the purists) and sex reels of M. Monroe and A. Miller.
Other workers in the Devs team explain the concept to the audience via proxy, namely other androgynous female character (seeing a trend here) representing those that may be confused and older gentleman explains to those who are hard of thinking.
Androgynous female lead plots her revenge by going back to the complex and killing Beardyman. Non Russian Boyfriend gets killed by Grandpa Kelton, BUT shocker Grandpa Kelton gets strangled homeless Russian spy by smelly shoelaces (suspected) as he attempts to murder androgynous female lead.
Androgynous female lead returns to Devs complex to exact revenge using Chekhov's gun with suppressor. Beardyman explains the multi-verse theory (repetition of a closed loop) to Androgynous female lead. She kills him after a lot of pausing, staring, falling and wobbling. Hence with the execution of Beardyman effectively resetting the reality of those that have expired for this simulacrum.
History is rewound to the start of the first episode's time-line and Androgynous female lead wishing Sergey (who may still be fatally allergic to carrier bags) good luck for his presentation to Beardyman.
However, she has deja vu or paramnesia and knows or senses that Sergey is not all he seems. Thus she dumps him and then we see her approaching Non Russian Ex-boyfriend with romantic overtones or undertones.
(Then they all live happily ever after - well who really knows anyway).
Shame that it (the series) outstays it's welcome as the material is stretched beyond tedium, deduct the repetition, multi-exposition at every available opportunity, the navel gazing/staring into space, over stressed scenic shots peppered with unfitting muzaq, unwarranted and unnecessary introductory scenes and there might be three and a half episodes of actual content.
Pointless, indulgent, pseudo intellectual fluff in which your time would be better spent watching glue harden. However if you liked Russian Dolls (over-rated tripe), I'm sure you will love it, otherwise avoid.
Wolf (2019)
Wolf ... more like cry wolf.
Oh Dear.
Start with the good bits.
Costumes and make up were fine. Location : sunny and snowy Scotland. Acting wasn't bad.
Now for the bad bits.
The script was bereft of polish and drafts. The plot left a lot to be desired. Special effects for the monster(s) lacking, perhaps a lack of budget was the culprit. The fangs were at best amateurish or cheap - being kind.
Cinematography was acceptable. However some parts could have used some rudimentary lighting assistance in the shape of some reflectors to counteract the shadowing of the eyes which any film student worth their salt would have noticed immediately. Cardinal sin - you have to see the actors faces in particular their eyes. it's no use if their eyes are in blackness or shadow.
Lack of variety of wide angle shots showing the characters, except for the aerial drone or Arriflex shots. Didn't give the audience a sense of varied perspective.
Watch, Wolfen, An American Werewolf in London, The Company of Wolves, Silver Bullet or Ginger Snaps instead of this garbage.
In short avoid.
Rating withheld for reasons of the ability to rate zero out of ten.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
(The first film I walked out of before it ended obviously)
There used to be plots. Characters that the audience could invest in.
Don't get me wrong the cinematography was spot on.
Nice production values and set design.
Very Good "Acting" from the leads but the child star may have stole the show, granted it was technically a tie between her and the Brad Pitt's Pit bull terrier, but the dog won as it had more purpose.
Walked out of the movie after before the ninety minute mark as I was thoroughly bored.
Reminds me of that scene from Planes, Trains and Automobiles, where Steve Martin talks about John Candy's anecdotes,"
Honey I'd like you to meet Del Griffith. He's got some amusing anecdotes. Here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it."
"I could tolerate any insurance seminar, for days I could sit there and listen to them going on and on with a big smile on my face"
-"How can you stand it?"
"Because I've been with Del Griffith"
When you're telling a story, have a point. It makes it so much interesting for the listener.
Now I truly know how Steve Martin's character felt.
Tarantino was obviously messing with the audience by having us watch the making of the Western Show (pretending to be meta and all that guff).
Uninteresting anecdotes. Check.
Unfinished or events of non closure told in flashbacks to ransom the audience. Check.
Unnecessary scenes. (Party in the playboy mansion (sans nudite), buying an expensive first edition of a book, repairing a tv aerial) Check.
Glorification of smoking. Check.
Foot/Shoe fetishism. Check.
Watching scenes from older movies in a movie "The Wrecking Crew" as a vain effort to be meta or break the fourth wall. Check.
Undoubtedly, I am sure that all the Tarantino fans/sycophants will of course down-vote this review. Regrettably I am not in the habit of drinking the cool-aid so to speak.
Hope that Jerry Seinfeld sues him for ripping off his idea of comedians in car getting coffee. Minus the coffee, comedy and any significant dialogue.
I've heard and engaged in better conversations whilst in a dentist's chair.
Dull, pointless and disrespecting Bruce Lee was very uncool and unnecessary on so many levels.
Thank goodness it is his last film.
Pity that he could have retired a lot sooner.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Very Bad Times at the El Royale ... Rotten in fact
Funny how you can have $32 million dollars and still get a movie that quite frankly reeks.
Length and pacing -
The first two hours of this movie (pun intended) moved at a glacial pace.
Far too much over use of scene setting and unnecessary fluff.
e.g. Too many characters literally standing about waiting for the concierge.
The last forty minutes is the only bit that is worth watching even then it's too contrived for it's own good.
The bug scene too long.
How many times do we have to see a jukebox operate?
Characters -
Only one and half characters are of any interest or emotional connection or depth.
Now I can imagine a few critics of this review state such as , "but it was what the characters didn't say that was so important and it left a lot to the imagination to fill in."
What they didn't say was the result of a script padded with exceptionally long pauses.
My imagination was wondering what was the point of all this over rated drivel.
Did it take a lot of imagination to throw together a few amoral (with the exception of one and half) characters and make a hostage crisis?
>designated sarcasm zone>
Wow that is so imaginative!
<end of designated sarcasm zone<
Furthermore I had already lost interest as there was too much same scene - different viewpoint, killing the flow of the movie trying to rip off Rashomon. (Rashomon being infinitely better than this dumpster fire)
Then filling in with some back story that was too matter of fact to be engaging and killed the pace to boot.
Then we have plot devices that sadly are there for the sake of closure or in this case non disclosure.
This entices the gullible viewer to lay in wait for the big reveal but sadly no.
Plot device : The reel of film with a passed away congressman having congress (sex) with someone he shouldn't have.
Plot device : Chekov's gun/knife/shotgun/bottle of whisky/impromptu improvised weapon.
Plot device : unresolved entities/people on the phone adds to the mystery or lack of thereof.
As the old timers would say all the gear and no idea.
Do yourself a favour and avoid this film like the plague.