visforhendrix23 Reviews

Rampage (2018)

Rampage has too much dumb in the destruction

[3/10 · 11 April 2018]

Like many kids of my generation, I spent numerous fond memories playing Rampage. Maneuvering the joystick, I commanded my monster avatars to ramshackle buildings, punch-out windows, and gobble-up helpless pedestrians. The simplicity of the destruction is where the charm was: a gorilla (with a striking resemblance to King Kong), a lizard (also with the deja vu of Godzilla, bridging copyright infringement), and a werewolf (the creator's obviously needed a filler character) ramshackled cities across the United States, evading the pursuit of military forces. After eradicating the city to rubble, you move on to the next location and start the chaos again.

Unfortunately, Hollywood has a proclivity for botching button-mashers adaptations; the film version of Rampage is a joyless mess -- a disaster porn flick that lifts the Midway title and it's monsters, but showcases them in a stale vehicle primed for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to fill his yearly quota of blockbusters.

Johnson is Davis, a primatologist that prefers the company of animals to people. Whenever possible, he shies away from social situations. Already, The Rock is renowned as the people's champion, so this characteristic is a stretch. Within a San Diego wildlife sanctuary, Davis is friends with George (a very original monkey name), an albino ape who was rescued after his parents were butchered for their hands to be turned into someone's ashtray (a direct quote from the movie, I'm not that creative.)

Meanwhile, in space, a flubbed experiment causes a rat to grow exponentially and wreck the cargo bay of a space shuttle. Canisters descend to earth and crash in different locations; one is gobbled by a crocodile; another hisses into the face of a wolf; the space debris conveniently lands in George's sanctuary. The pathogen in the canisters morphs the animals into city levelling monsters. George wakes up and murders a grizzly bear, for no other reason than they frightened each other.

From seemingly out-of-nowhere, Davis is joined by Kate (Naomie Harris), a disgraced genetic researcher who provides informational aid whenever the plot requires. She explains that the doomed space experiment was called CRISPR -- which sounds like a robotic McDonalds' invention that inevitably replaces human employees. The pathogen caused increased size, strength, ability, and -- most troubling -- aggression. Genetic editing combined the growth rate of a whale, speed of a cheetah... you get the idea. CRISPR rapidly changed George's DNA overnight, and he awakens with a super-monkey bod. The monkey doesn't like being cooped up while the silly humans squabble about whatever, and he goes bananas, busting out to do what the movie title implies.

Pursuing the critters are the Wyden siblings, yuppies who run Energyne and want their pathogen back. The duo are obvious Trump spawn -- from their diction to their attire. They create an antenna that emits a bio-sonar frequency, an invention more appropriate for Lex Luthor's scheming in Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. The device drives the monstrosities nuts, causing them to migrate to the tower and stop the racket. The Trump kids assume the police will kill the threat and they can extract their sample. Obviously, in the durpy world of poor planning by ne'er-do-wells, it doesn't go as planned.

Like other recent Warner Bros. genre offerings Kong: Skull Island and Pacific Rim: Uprising, Rampage is a stereotypical disaster movie that fails to leave much of a memorable impact. Sometimes, films are supposed to be mindless romps into escapism. But, how many times are we supposed to enjoy ourselves when precious time escapes us and is invested into such a poor movie. Leave your smarts at the door for this farfetched brawler.

The Night Before (II) (2015)

'The Night Before' a gift for those on the naughty list

[8/10 · 19 November 2015]

Winter is the season audiences are forced to unwrap gifts of the latest Holiday- themed movie offerings. The taped wrapping paper – festive and jolly in it's presentation – causes the viewer to squint from the boisterous colors, like nursing a terrible hangover from downing an excessive amount of eggnog the night before. The films are usually lackluster efforts, forcing the message of 'joy to the world' down the consumers throat like a stale and unwanted candy cane left over from a Christmas past.

Watching 'The Night Before' – the latest offering from talented director Jonathan Levine (Warm Bodies, 50/50) – is like Santa fulfilling all your wants on a Christmas list, despite being very naughty all year.

Seth Rogen, Anthony Mackie, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt star as three friends – a comedic parallel of the biblical three wise men – whom reunite each Christmas Eve to stage various shenanigans. After Ethan's (Levitt) parents tragically pass away, Isaac (Rogen) and Chris (Mackie) step in to assume the mother and father role for the wayward youth. Several years later, the trio receive lumps of coal in their stockings in the form of adulthood – Isaac is an expecting father; Chris is a social media famous football player, juicing up to stay relevant; Ethan is a retailer belittled in an elf costume, unable to let go of his morbid past.

The shifts of maturity have made them distant from one another; with their lives moving in different directions, they decide this Xmas reunion will be their last together. Mischief abounds when Ethan discovers tickets for the "Nutcracker Ball" in a patrons clothing at a coat check- a fabled party that the boys have sought to attend since they originally started the tradition.

Rogan steals the show. When Isaac's wife slips him a hodgepodge of various illegal substances as reward for being a devoted husband, Rogan displays each violent hallucination with hilarious intensity.

There are plenty of 'Ho Ho Hos' to go around, and the sleigh-loads of laughs lasts the entire movie – a rarity in comedies when the third act is usually a reprieve for various characters to have epiphanies and change their lives.

'The Night Before' is destined to be a Christmas cult classic akin to 'Bad Santa'.

Pan (2015)

'Pan' prequel falters mid-flight

[5/10 · 9 October 2015]

Movie studios are profit famished entities, consuming current film trends for monetary sustenance. The current fad of reboots and prequels has producers salivating – eagerly pouring through source materials for any possibilities of spawning a franchise, like pirates pillaging unsuspecting vessels for treasure.

'Pan', the latest retelling of author J.M. Barrie's beloved Neverland fable, does little to unearth box-office gold.

The film, directed by talented Joe Wright (so capable with 'Atonement', but lacking with his latest efforts of 'Hanna' and 'Anna Karenina'), is at times creative eye candy that sweetens the senses, but also putrid fluff that wrinkles the nostrils.

'Pan' begins with Peter as a baby, abandoned on the doorsteps of an orphanage by his mother Mary (Amanda Seyfried), who harbors secret ties to Neverland. She drapes a necklace adorned with a pan flute around the babies neck, and vows an eventual reunion with her son, murmuring "I'll see you again, in this world, or another."

Peter (Levi Miller) grows up as a rambunctious orphan; he eagerly disobeys oppressive nuns, and seeks out mischief as World War 2 desolates London.

During an airborne bomb raid, the orphans are plucked from their beds by bungee jumping pirates, descending from the roof and snatching them up onto their levitating pirate ship.

The captives are taken to Neverland, where they labor within mines presided over by Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman, clearly having fun with a role with limited depth). The pirate has a fondness for Nirvana and the Ramones, hosting sing-a-longs with his slaves and belting tunes like a displaced character from 'Moulin Rouge'.

Blackbeard desperately seeks 'Fairy Dust', a fossilized crystal that possess the keys to immortality.

After Peter is falsely accused of pocketing 'Fairy Dust', he is sentenced to walk the plank. When he tumbles to his death, he flies for an instance, and captures the attention of fellow miner James Hook (Garrett Hedlund).

Blackbeard takes Peter to his personal chambers and tells him a prophesy of a half- human and half-fairy boy who is destined to defeat him. To prevent this from happening, he imprisons Peter. While in captivity, Peter agrees to use his flying abilities to help James Hook escape, if he returns the favor by aiding his search for his mother.

Accompanied by Smee (Adeel Akhtar), Peter and Hook flee. Shortly after, they are intercepted by the Natives, where they meet Tiger Lily, who pledges herself to assisting their plight.

Their adventure is an interesting and flawed addition to the Peter Pan myths, but lacks originality or relevance to distinguish it from past movies from a clunky script.

Prior Peter Pan movies ranged from the good – 'Peter Pan (1953)', 'Hook (1991)', 'Finding Neverland (2004)' – to the awful – 'Return to Neverland (2002)', 'Peter Pan (2003)'.

The latest telling ranks somewhere in the middle – a decent adaptation that lingers between the realism of early 1940s London and the fantasy of Neverland, but never quite showcases the enthralling magic exhibited by it's finer predecessors.

Its unusual that Wright's 'Pan' was created, when superior material existed for a better adaptation.

Within the last decade, authors Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson wrote a fine young adult trilogy entitled Peter and the Starcatchers – prequels that garnered both praise from critics and audiences alike.

Anticipate a redux in the future, especially when the taste of a possible blockbuster series is a financial delicacy for those profit hungry studios.

Freeheld (2015)

Moore's performance holds 'Freeheld' together

[5/10 · 1 October 2015]

2015 was a landmark year for gay rights in the United States.

Same-sex marriage was deemed legal throughout the entire country – a civil rights issue finally rectified with a progressive ruling.

Its difficult to criticize 'Freeheld' for lack of trying, especially when the remarkable true story that avoids sentimental clichés.

In her first role following her Oscar win for 'Still Alice', Julianne Moore immerses herself in the role of Lieutenant Laurel Hester, a detective in Ocean County, New Jersey that has served over 24 years on the force.

Laurel is closeted with her preferences, and is convinced that coming out will jeopardize her chances as first woman in the county to make lieutenant.

Laurel likes to be in control, but is often aloof and amiss when not on the beat; she competes in volleyball scrimmages out of town to pick up dates, and is clumsy during play. During a match, she meets the youthful Stacie Andree (Ellen Paige), a mechanic nineteen years younger who is open with her sexuality.

Homophobia of the times lingers over the film cloud like a dark cloud of hate, and is a gloomy foreshadowing of the billowing conflict to come.

During an honest admission, Laurel tells Stacie she was committed for psych evaluation after coming out to her mother. At a gay bar, Laurel spots a fellow officer, who pleads for anonymity, in fear of losing his promotion as detective if anyone discovers his secret. As her relationship with Stacie intensifies, Laurel concocts new excuses for the presence of her companion- calling her as a sister, roommate, and friend to fend off unwanted interest.

The couple registers as domestic partners and purchases a home together.

Their domicile bliss is abruptly shortened when Laurel complains of pain in her side; a doctor discovers cancerous tumors in her lungs, and she is given only months to live.

As her time expires, she hastily writes to the Ocean County Freeholders to transfer her pension to Stacie – a right given to heterosexual married couples under New Jersey law.

The five county "freeholders" deny the claim, initiating an uproarious advocacy against the governing body that propels Laurel forward as the face of the gay- marriage cause.

Moore's performance is heart wrenching; her portrayal of Laurel captures the triumphant spirit of gay rights, and the arduous struggle towards inevitable reform.

You wince at her pain as her body deteriorates from lung cancer, and grimace as she barely musters the strength to pioneer for the necessary ramifications to leave Stacie the house.

The rest of the cast stumbles where Moore strides.

Ellen Paige is serviceable as Stacie, but doesn't quite find the emotional resonance within the character.

Michael Shannon is typecast fodder as Dane Wells, Laurel's partner investigating a double homicide – a subplot that is never fully realized and only scantily mentioned during lulls of the main story.

Steve Carrell's acting seems to sneak out of the projector from a neighboring theater; his performance comes out of left field, and he portrays the activist as Michael Scott with a lisp – a caricature that dangerously toes the line between comic relief and mocking stereotype.

The problem is that 'Freehold' doesn't quite know what it wants to be.

It begins as a daytime cop drama, transitions into a tender romance, and intensifies into a courthouse drama during the latter act.

The focus jumps back and forth, shifting the focus from lovers sharing the waning moments before inevitable loss, to the media frenzy that clutters the county courthouse with an eclectic cast of protester.

The film loses it's way, but finds itself whenever Moore is on the screen.

Her performance carries the weight of the story; Moore's Laurel is an embodiment of the rights movement, through the eyes of those who suffered and persevered.

Imperial Dreams (2014)

Imperial Dreams a star-making vehicle for Boyega

[7/10 · 5 March 2015]

The 2015 Oscars was a controversial affair. For the first time in over a decade, a cast of all- white performers competed for acting awards.

Next year, expect a slew of honors to recognize diversity.

Meet John Boyega, a future superstar in the making and protagonist of 'Imperial Dreams' – a likely candidate for award season attention.

Actor Michael B. Jordan was previously snubbed a nomination as Oscar Grant in his celebrated performance in Fruitvale Station, a similar film depicting former convicts struggling to reform in an unforgiving American system.

Both films won the Audience Award at the Sundance film festival.

However, Boyega is better, and so too is 'Imperial Dreams'.

Director Malik Vitthal portrays Los Angeles as a city devoid of any hope and opportunities, the bright promising rays of a California sun blotted out by ghettos dilapidated with poverty.

Bambi (Boyega) is a recently released gangster, devoted to living an ethical lifestyle for his young son Day (Ethan and Justin Coach). As he struggles to find work, he attempts to make a living as a writer, finding solace in his words to distract him from illegal persuasions of his past.

Badgered by his Uncle Shrimp (Glenn Plummer, excellent and reserved like a coiled snake, ready to strike with a venomous bite), Bambi is kicked out of the house unless he makes a drug run to Portland.

With nowhere to live, he is forced to live with his son in his car in a vacant parking lot.

He's stalked by detectives Gill (Sufe Bradshaw) and Hernandez (Maximiliano Hernandez), who are eager to pounce and arrest him after any misstep.

The trials and tribulations are predictable, and are similar to Will Smith vehicle 'The Pursuit of Happiness', but the low-budget production gives the film gritty realism and heart.

The movie belongs to Boyega. We feel his frustration with each failure, the struggle etching his face with pain and frustration. You root for his character, and his shortcomings break your heart.

Director Vitthal based the movie a true story. He screened the movie for the films inspiration and he hated the movie, but loved it after watching the audiences positive reaction at Sundance.

The film is scheduled for a December release weeks before Star Wars Episode 7, which also stars John Boyega.

Anticipate the actors name headlining movie posters in the future..

He's that good.

Chappie (2015)

'Chappie' finds beating heart in artificial intelligence

[8/10 · 5 March 2015]

'Chappie' is a feature length Die Antwoord music video, and that's not a bad thing. The South African rap-rave group star as alternate reality version of themselves in director Neill Blomkamp's third feature, and influence nearly every aspect of the film's production. Their songs blast through the movie, they tattoo the robot Chappie with various spray-painted images from their discography, and etch illustrations in the background of numerous locations.

The casting choice is a risk that Sony remarkably allowed – casting two musicians with relatively scant prior acting experience in a big-budget blockbuster.

It's these chances that makes 'Chappie' so special.

It's a 21st century retelling of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz, if the Tin Man was hip with current slang and wrote hilarious posts from a twitter account.

The film opens in the slums of Johannesburg setting that Blomkamp previously utilized in his previous movies 'District 9' and 'Elysium'.

The crime rate has plummeted since the police department deployed armed robots called Scouts. We follow the Scouts creator Deon (Dev Patel), a Red Bull chugging scientists who lives in a house cluttered with small android helpers, the interior of his home recalling the talking furniture in an episode of 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse'.

After an insomniac night of research, Deon discovers the secrets to artificial intelligence, and delivers his findings to the company who manufactures the droids. His boss Michelle (Sigourney Weaver) rejects his proposals, and Deon sneaks out a damaged Scout without permission for experimentation.

A radical competing engineer and former soldier Vincent (Hugh Jackman, sporting questionably high cargo shorts) campaigns for overkill security measures in the Moose, a murderous tank of a weapon operated by remote control. The creation is rejected, and a scorned Vincent is intent on sabotaging Deon.

The robot is intercepted by Yo-Landi Visser and Ninja of Die Antwoord, who give him the name Chappie and train him for a heist to pay off a debt to a maniacal thug.

Sharlto Copley performs the motion capture to perfection. Credit must be paid to the visual effects department, who detail Chappie's movements from naïve infancy to swaggering gangster outlaw.

'Chappie' journeys down paths reserved for ambitious independent and foreign films, resolving in an outlandish ending that leaves the possibility for a reported trilogy.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel finishes last

[4/10 · 26 February 2015]

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Watching the ensemble of veteran actors in 'The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' is like witnessing an elite retired chef belittled to heating up dinosaur chicken nuggets for his hungry grandchildren.

The unnecessary sequel to a movie that needed no continuation displays its cast like wax statues at a Ripley's museum — they are pleasant to look at, but lack any depth in a film void of any discernible story.

The plots are scattered throughout the various rooms of the Exotic Marigold Hotel, and the retired Brit occupants carry on through scenes better served on BBC1 sitcoms.

Sonny (Dev Patel) seeks to find investors in expanding his business to a second location. A U.S. retirement home business expresses interest, and sends an inspector under cover to inspect the hotel.

Maggie Smith shines as Murial. Constantly grumpy, she observes the events for Sonny's wedding, serving as the films moral compass, dusted off and carelessly used as a sporadic guidance for selfish characters.

Douglas (Bill Nighy, another bright spot in an otherwise dim narrative) gives guided tours, an earpiece shoved in his ear receiving instructions from a local Indian boy. He fawns over widowed Evelyn (Judi Dench), who may leave the hotel for employment as a full-time fabrics buyer for a European company.

Norman (Ronald Pickup) believes he accidentally put a hit out on his girlfriend Carol (Dianna Hardcastle), and is suspicious of her potential infidelity.

The most irritating character arc is the blossoming romance between Madge (Celia Imrie) and her cabbie. He's forced to drive her to one of two potential suitors, distinguished as right or left. She slowly falls for him, despite the driver being nothing more than the receiving end of a therapy session in his cab. I can't even imagine the future mental repercussions, like when he wakes up trembling at night, wondering why he's a single man sleeping next to an old philanderer.

Most of the subplots are tidied up quickly, or discarded. After a certain amount of time with the pensioners, the audience stops caring about these characters, and their petty conflicts.

The original film was a sleeper hit, grossing $137 million on a $10 million budget, so another duplicate of the movie was a necessity. This one is diluted, self congratulatory, and overstays its welcome within the first half.

The film seems perfect for an elderly person attending a noon matinée, where an escape to India beats the droll repetitions of household errands.

For someone in their twenties like me, its akin to visiting my parents at their Del Webb residence, and preoccupying myself with watching the residents squabble over scattered tiles of backgammon, or sweat during a rigorous bout of Pickleball.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015)

Hot Tub Scalding with stupidity and laughs

[6/10 · 20 February 2015]

3/5

Author H.G. Wells once said, "Nature never appeals to intelligence until habit and instinct are useless. There is no intelligence where there is no need of change."

In regards to intelligence, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is the bored jock who changes the initial H.G. into Huge Gainz, before tossing The Time Machine book aside in favor of Tinder swipes.

We find that the Hot Tub deadbeats have used the Jacuzzi to travel back and change their fates.

Lou (Rob Corddry) is a billionaire responsible for inventing Lougle, a google rip-off. Nick (Craig Robinson, always reliable) is a recording artist who stole music from famous musicians in the past. Lou's nerdy son Jacob (Clark Duke) serves as his father's butler.

After Lou is shot in the nether-regions during an impassioned narcissistic speech, the crew travels to the future in 2025 to find his killer.

The plot holes are as gaping as worm holes, and would probably cause Einstein to discard his theory of relativity in disgust at the total blasphemous science of the movie.

It's when the crew uses the hot tub time machine that the fun begins, and hilarious gags are aplenty.

All future scenes are directly lifted from Back to the Future 2, and often relies on gross-out humor to appease the funny-bone, but countless scenarios are entertaining.

Choice scene include the characters starring unwillingly in a virtual reality show called Choozy Doozy Celebrity, in which they are forced to perform homoerotic acts on one another. In another, a self-driving smart car holds bloodthirsty intentions, fuming with a vendetta over Lou mistreating it.

Shame on the trailers that portrayed our protagonists traveling to various historic moments in time, and rewriting history. The scene runs through the end credits, the scrolling names unable to distract a marketing ploy as deceptive as Star Trek: Into Darkness obliterating the Enterprise.

If H.G. Wells had a time machine, I imagined he would travel into the future and instruct the creators of this sequel on basic writing, while the writers sit at their desks, texting dirty jokes to one another beneath the table.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Kingsman is a royalty of laughs, style, and violence

[8/10 · 15 February 2015]

When "Kingsman: The Secret Service" was moved to the 'dump month' wasteland of beginning of the year, my expectations for the movie were lowered significantly.

The advertisements for "Kingsman", which glamorized a variety of displayed weapons, promised an October release date, but was pushed back by the studio until February. A film can be delayed for a variety of reasons, but the common assumption is that a shift guarantees box-office and critical failures.

Leave your expectations at the theater door.

Director Matthew Vaughn leads a stellar class in an original and modern interpretation of the spy genre. Similar to his work on "Kick-Ass" and "X-Men: First Class", Vaughn continues to prove himself as an established filmmaker, especially when adapting graphic novel source material.

The usually stiff and reserved Colin Firth is unleashed as Harry Hart (codename Galahad), a veteran secret agent who emphasizes personal etiquette and style. An enthusiast of Hemingway and Horman quotes, Hart carries the appearance of an English professor, but fights with the brutality of the deadly killing machine that he is.

After a mission in the Middle East is botched and results in the death of a fellow agent, Hart delivers a medal with a contact number to his murdered comrade's mourning family.

The son Eggsy (a star-making performance by relative newcomer Taron Eggerton) grows up and is a reckless youth without job or a future. After stealing a car, and accelerating it into a police vehicle, Eggsy desperately phones the number on the medal from prison.

The Kingsman, with code names from Arthurian legend, recruits Eggsy and other selected youths as potential members of the spy program.

Hart works alongside fellow Kingsman Arthur (Michael Caine) and Merlin (Mark Strong) as both trainer and mentor, presenting the candidates with a number of grueling tasks to determine their qualifications.

The agency finds itself pitted against Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson), a billionaire tech genius intent on implanting SIM cards inside of people for his own sinister and megalomaniac intentions.

Jackson, having fun with a lisp that sounds like a Mike Tyson impersonation, is the best he's been since his remarkable performance in Django Unchained, and his villain is a testament to the Roger Moore Bond films, when the baddies used to be fun with their preposterously foul intentions.

During the films crowning scene, Hart fights through a Kentucky church overflowing with bigoted rednecks, and blood sprays to the tune of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird". The graphic visuals are brilliantly choreographed, and makes your jaw drop at how hilariously violent it is. The scene seems to last forever, and that's not a bad thing.

Updated advertisements of the film with the corrected February release date displayed characters standing beneath the splayed artificial legs of Gazelle – the hottie Oddjob to Valentine's Goldfinger. The posters are a homage to "For Your Eyes Only", in which Roger Moore stands beneath the legs of his adversary.

The images are a fitting testament in how Vaughn effectively handles his subject material – a loving tribute to a genre that is enjoyable and relevant, without straying far into the realms of parody.

With the Bond and Bourne franchises glooming with humorless realism, "Kingsman" strives to make an espionage feature enjoyable again.

The posters of Kingsman are destined to grace the dorm room walls of college kids, thumbtacked next to the likes of Fincher, Nolan, and Tarantino offerings.

With his fifth consecutive excellent film, Vaughn is destined to join these ranks of these applauded and revered directors.

Alice in Wonderland (I) (2010)

Alice in Blunderland

[4/10 · 2 March 2010]

I was able to catch a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland tonight on March 2nd. Despite some pretty nifty visuals, and jaw dropping set pieces, I found the movie to be incredibly dull, flat, and utterly full of itself. The film is merely a vehicle for Johnny Depp to showcase his talents, and he portrays the Mad Hatter as an actor who can't quite find the right shoes to fill in the role. He rotates from a Scottish brogue, to a feminine lisp, and staggers once in awhile as the unmistakable character of Captain Jack Sparrow. Where the visuals triumph, the story lacks. The proposed 'sequel' to Alice in Wonderland is literally a rehash of most of the finer points of the original, except a lot more Johnny Depp- a character who the audience is supposed to sympathize with and root for, but who i found a bit annoying and tiresome after awhile. The plot is fairly simple. Alice (the stone faced, newcomer Mia Wasisoska whose acting is limited to mildly concerned, mildly puzzled, and mildly agitated) flees from an arranged marriage proposal from a wealthy lord. She follows a curious white rabbit and tumbles down a hole into Underland, referred to as Wonderland by Alice. She then meets a variety of odd characters, most of them familiar from the original Alice. The plot is fairly simplistic, and a tad boneheaded. The Red Queen (Bonham Carter, slightly overdoing it, but arguably the best actor of the bunch) rules the land, but is pitted against the tiresome goodness and light of her sister, The White Queen (Hathaway doing an air-headed imitation of, you guessed it, Captain Jack Sparrow). Alice is destined by some ancient scroll to defeat the Jabberwocky and end The Red Queen's reign of terror. Alice boils down to mere eye candy-something that is visually pleasing, but is only a piece of fluff. If your a fan of Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this movie is right up your ally. I prefer Burton at his best with movies that attempt to involve the audience like Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, and Big Fish. However, this bloated mess is sure to rank in hundreds of millions of dollars, but it tugs at our wallets rather than our hearts. It's a scary thought, but I hope that Burton's best work isn't behind him. 4/10

Big Top Pee-wee (1988)

The Only Movie I Ever Saw to Make Me Cackle All The Way Through...

[8/10 · 7 August 2006]

Don't believe the low average rating below, Big Top Pee Wee is the only movie I have ever seen that made me cackle throughout it's 90 minute run time. Paul Reubens portrays the childlike Pee Wee with such wondrous physical gift, that if it weren't for the infamous movie theater event that ruined his career, he would be compared to the likes of Chaplin, Keaton, and the Marx Brothers. The story line also runs smoothly, providing bubbling amounts of sheer joy for the audience members to soak in. See this movie immediately and enjoy it as thoroughly as I did. Pee Wee won't leave you without tears of laughter streaming from your face, you can count on it.