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Reviews
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
We need a movie like this every few years
A reminder of where many, many people would put us if given the slightest chance and how we can never let that happen.
Admittedly, there's a certain something holding this back from greatness--it mixes up a few core influences to produce something solid, yet just this side of too familiar. Definitely agree with the Get Out: For Women comparison, for better much more than worse.
I was already fond of Olivia Wilde's directing, and was pleasantly to stunned to see her name on this in the end. She could carve out a wonderful place in film for herself if she keeps going, tons of potential and great ideas.
Florence Pugh continues to be our next Kate Winslet, Harry Styles continues to be talented to the point of absurdity...I just wish there had been a tweak there or a new element here to really let it soar. This could have been a highlight of the decade instead of just 2022.
Last Christmas (2019)
The ending is literally an old meme about cheap, melodramatic twists
If you know what 'reblog if you crey' means, you know where this movie is going. Like, exactly where it's going. Almost to the word. I almost couldn't believe it.
Not only was is it so over-the-top soppy and blatantly lazy in it's cheap bid for emotion, but it even depends on a punny double meaning in its namesake's lyrics that had me dry-heaving. I was at least enjoying Henry Golding and had a mild interest to see where their relationship was headed but....welp.
The Nice Guys (2016)
Lightning doesn't strike twice.
The Nice Guys is a VERY clear attempt at a spiritual successor to 2005's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang from the same writer/director. While it has a good handful of memorable moments and lines, it doesn't come anywhere near it's predecessor on any front.
-The friendship (and the development of the friendship) between the two leads isn't quite as satisfying.
-The comedy isn't quite as sharp.
-The plot isn't quite as tight or engaging.
-The thread of humanity and vulnerability underneath the crime and action is largely absent...
-...making what little character development there is lack real meaning and emotional payoff.
If you're a Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fan who wants another hit out of the park from Shane Black in a similar vein, this isn't it. (Which isn't Black's fault per se, I mean the planets really aligned for KKBB in a way that doesn't happen often period, let alone the crime/comedy niche subgenre.)
Glass (2019)
Mostly right execution, mostly wrong plot.
With an entirely different first half, this long-awaited sequel could have been incredible. Instead the movie spends the first hour trying to convince the characters what we 100% is untrue, which robs it of any tension whatsoever while we wait for the inevitable. You could almost cut out the first hour and just start the movie there.
It's a shame, since the cast is A+ as per usual and Shyamalan has mostly regained his abilities after a *god awful* decade-long slump. If you've been actively waiting for this movie since 2000, give it a watch but go in with middling expectations. Other than that, pass.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
Heaven forbid women have a fun action movie made just for them, amirite?
This is a fun, sometimes silly, action-espionage popcorn flick that is 100% made for women. They should have a stamp on the movie posters that says "no dudes allowed," and I mean that in the most harmless way possible.
I was expecting to skim through this for Kristen Stewart (I'm a fan) but found myself watching this from beginning to end. It was just so unapologetically FUN. In the first half I wasn't sure if they were gonna take the time to have the main girls really bond, which would have been okay but a little disappointing. Fortunately, they pretty much came through in the end and created a trio of women I would have loved to learn more about in future installments. (I say 'would have' because this movie, sadly, didn't make nearly enough money to warrant a sequel. It's like 2016's Ghostbusters all over again, except this one actually WAS overt with its feminist messaging.)
And yes, I greatly appreciated the deliberate "we are here to be a fun and empowering place for women" vibe throughout. I'd much rather have annoyingly pointed feminism than the annoyingly pointed *sexism* in every single silly action flick the straight dudes salivate over.
Speaking of which, butthurt dudebros have absolutely tanked this movie's rating for all the usual reasons, a chief one being they really, REALLY hate it when something isn't made specifically for them. They have umpteen million fun, silly, over-the-top action flicks tailor made to their gaze, taste, and sense of humor. Maybe they should go watch one of those and leave us alone with the one (1) decent action chick flick we get every couple of years.
The Lodge (2019)
As a fan of "elevated" horror, this definitely falls short
Positive reviews seem to be from fans of the slower, psychological horror films like The Witch, Hereditary, and the like. They laud it as intense, thought provoking, shocking, well shot.
Negative reviews seem to come from people who want your more average pacing and less obtuse storytelling, and they're calling the film boring as hell with no story at all.
Neither camp is totally right.
It's slow paced even for "elevated" horror, to the point where it becomes obvious runtime padding. There's not enough story here for an hour and fifty minutes, not even for an art-house film. Even "elevated" fans should be able to see that. But there is, in fact, a story that is being told, and you'd think the naysayers would be able to see that.
The setup is superb and has just enough of a unique spin on it to make you wonder where they're gonna go with it. The problem is that they hinged the plot on something entirely absurd that nobody, regardless of age, would ever do to the extent that is portrayed. So yes, a story is here, but the way they facilitate the ending is ludicrous, and that facilitation takes wayyyyyyy too long.
Really, this movie shouldn't be satisfying either type of horror fan. But I guess some people just really, really love cinematography.
His Girl Friday (1940)
It's a romcom, then it's not, then is it again in the last five minutes??
I've finally watched this movie because it sounded right up my alley: a romantic comedy with a journalism backdrop and rapid-fire dialogue. But...I'm baffled.
The first half hour sets up as expected, with an ex wife about to remarry and an ex husband who's willing to do anything to stop it because he's still in love. We expect a movie where she keeps resisting, he keeps insisting, and through the backdrop of a breaking story she realizes she still loves him and the job, while he learns to respect her wishes and her as a person even if it breaks his heart. Then they finally come to terms and live happily ever after.
Except that's not what the rest of the movie did. At all.
This is supposed to be a romantic comedy, we're here to watch the relationship overcome obstacles and that's what you've sold us. So why on Earth do the main characters completely separate for FORTY MINUTES? The entire movie is only ninety minutes long! Aside from one brief all-business phone call, the people who are supposed to finding their way back to each other haven't shared another second of screentime. What IS this?
And when they're finally in the same room at the same time, it's the same schtick from the beginning of the movie--he tries to talk her into staying and after some resistance she gives in to the job she loves. Then at the end (literally in the last five minutes) they remember it's a romcom and quickly shove in a supposedly happy ending? And this is supposed to be well written? WHAT?
Like I said, I'm baffled.
Lovesong (2016)
There's slow paced and there's flatline
This movie was just kinda under everything--underwhelming, under developed, under communicated, etc. If you're going for slow naturalism you still need a heartbeat, but this script is too lethargic to hold attention. At the end of the day it felt padded when it could have made a really poignant half hour short film...
...or rather it would if the plot and characters were laid out better. The main character is as passive as other reviews say. I can sympathize with a woman winding up in a mundane, boring life where motherhood doesn't feel like her end-all-be-all and her husband has essentially abandoned her. It's a very real-world situation. But she does nothing to improve it. Maybe, MAYBE, her attempt to improve it is by going to her love interest's wedding in hopes of running away with the bride...but I have no idea as very little character motivation is ever established. We don't even know why it ends the way it ends, and instead of feeling indie and human and ambiguous it feels like we just wasted a bloated ninety minutes to watch yet another disappointing end to a LGBT story.
In that way it felt extremely dated. Essentially the same story can be found in numerous LGBT books and films that were made in the 80s, 90s, and even 00s. It's 2020, dude. Do something different.
Euphoria (2019)
We haven't had high school exposed like this in far too long.
An excellent, refreshing, tense, unique, stylized, hard-hitting look at the areas of adolescence nobody wants to talk about. I've been dying for something like this for years. Even better that the extremely talented Zendaya is at the heart of it, finally able to show off the serious acting chops we all knew she had.
The show feels like one long drug trip for obvious reasons, but knows when to sharpen up and when to let things lazily wash over the audience. It's just soapy enough to keep you on the hook plot-wise, but certainly manages to make its serious points hit home along the way. The juggling act while creating this show must be absolute murder on all involved. If it tips even a touch too far in any one direction, it'll fall apart FAST like a Riverdale that takes itself way too seriously. Let's hope that day never comes.
One reviewer on here said it would be 'more realistic' if the show centered on college kids and not high-schoolers, and I laughed. Their privileged experience of high school must have been super fun, but that doesn't mean the dark underbelly doesn't exist for many, many people. I love Mean Girls as much as anyone, but those of us who even brushed up against the darkness in this show are finally getting to see some actual reality reflected back at us. It feels something like relief.
Hillary (2020)
The people who never understood her now have no excuse.
As the documentary makes clear, the press and the public gave Hillary every reason and then some to close herself off from prying eyes over the past few decades. Hell, given what she's been through it's amazing she didn't go in a hole and stay there *just for her mental health.* So color me surprised when she started making decisions post-2016 that opened her up instead of hid her away--first her deeply personal account of the campaign in her book What Happened, and then a documentary to delve even further.
They really get into all of it here, which is why it takes four hours. Every high and low is accounted for and addressed in a way that gives MUCH needed context, not just from her, but from the people who witnessed it all right beside her. They look at every major mistake and paint a picture as to what they were thinking in the moment and what their goal had been at the time. They try their hardest not to lean on hindsight but instead present the events, warts and all. The result is an even greater understanding of Hillary and the how/why of 2016. By the end it almost feels like the result couldn't have gone any other way. It's cathartic, heartfelt, and informative. It's fair. It's human. It's what I've always wanted to see from her.
If you ever wondered what Hillary really has to say about *anything* that she's been at the center of, this is the thing to watch.
If you ever wondered why Hillary behaves a certain way in front of cameras--very polished, by the book, professional to a fault--this is the thing to watch.
If you ever had any question or curiosity about Hillary, this is the thing to watch.
Circle (2015)
Good premise, bad everything else
The bad script results in bad performances results in a generally bad, ham-fisted experience that isn't nearly as thought provoking as it thinks it is. Especially since it identifies all the typical roads it could go down...and then goes down those roads without hesitation.
If they tweaked the rules of the game and put it in the hands of better everything (filmmakers, actors etc) then it could really be something. As it stands it gets one star for the idea, and another two for the couple of times I was genuinely surprised.
Upgrade (2018)
A painfully cliche beginning becomes a compelling deep dive into true sci-fi territory.
I was rolling my eyes for the first section of this movie, as it couldn't possibly come off more rote: a technophobe living in a tech advanced future wants revenge after his wife gets fridged? Please. Even the development immediately afterwards, with the implant as a cure all for the main character's paralysis wasn't particularly interesting. But then a certain 'aspect' (for lack of a better word) revealed itself and finally made me sit up.
That's when things start to spiral and, therefore, get interesting. The mystery, developments, clues, red herrings, and sci-fi predicament we've never seen quite like this before all culminate in a thought-provoking, surprising, brutal finish that knocked me on my ass. An instant fave in the genre, and a readily welcome addition to the woefully underfed cyberpunk subgenre. (And as a flashy bonus, some of the camera work in this simply outstanding.)
Do not look up spoilers. Just watch it.
Hagazussa (2017)
It depends on how you like your horror.
Hagazussa is a good example of the type of slow burn, art-house horror I've never been able to get into. For every painstaking reveal of new information you get five minutes of absolutely nothing. And I mean NOTHING.
Fortunately, that makes it easy to recommend:
Did The Witch, Hereditary, or Midsommar test (or lose) your patience? Don't see this.
Are movies like Under the Skin, Suspiria, and Antichrist on your 'Best Horror Films Of All Time' list? See this as soon as possible.
The Perfection (2018)
Could have been an instant classic with a better director.
The story by itself is a terrific concept with the potential to go to some truly dark, brave places. But:
-The cinematography and color palette are too cartoonish in too many places.
-The CG fails at far too many critical moments.
-The script is built for a cheap, soapy horror/thriller but that sells the characters and concepts WAY too short.
-Both the writer and filmmaker aren't as clever as they think they are. Of the twists, only one was well hidden. The others were so painfully obvious that the "rewinds" were almost insulting to the viewer.
If they had given this to a director who wanted to take things seriously, it could have been the next big thing in horror. It even caused some okay buzz as is. Now, aside from some aspects of the content, it'll be forgotten in a year.
Gone Girl (2014)
Comes close to the book's brilliance--and that's a big compliment.
They were never going to pull off the *exact* same feeling and depth of the book, as many narrative devices used in the book are impossible to translate to film. What David Fincher and Gillian Flynn came up with, however, is a close second.
The story of Nick and Amy Dunne could not have found a better director or cast. Then they had Gillian Flynn, the original author, pen the screenplay. Boom. Yes. That's how it needed to be done. All aces so far.
Much of the plot's aspects and details were included, even if they are rearranged and adjusted for the film's benefit. The most satisfying survivor of the transition is the now infamous Cool Girl speech played over THE pivotal moment in the story--possibly the part in the film that gets the closest to the thrill of the novel.
Where there thematic arguments, points, and plot developments missing? Of course. Did I miss them? Of course. There were a couple of huge things missing that changes the DNA of the story a little too much, rendering it less gut-punching than the book. I'd tell you what they are, but in the world of Gone Girl almost *everything* is a spoiler.
A vital element of the book is just how relentlessly thorough it is--the narrative doesn't stop until every single point is made with brutal accuracy. So in contrast, a movie version will inevitably feel truncated, or like a "best of" montage. That's why I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading the book first, waiting a few weeks, and then watching the movie. That will be the most satisfying way to experience this insane, razor-sharp story.
Ultimately, this should have been a mini-series. But what they managed in a 2 1/2 hour film was remarkable.