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BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011)
That's what I call a painful experience
Say what you will about Uwe Boll, but I kinda like the guy. I'm serious, in my book he is getting better as a filmmaker. Rampage was a pretty great movie, Tunnel Rats is a flawed but worthy flick about Vietnam and Postal is funny in its own perverse way. Yes, I say Boll is not THAT bad as they say. Although, that doesn't change the fact that BLOODRAYNE 3 is really bad.
So what is wrong with this flick? Every single minute. I'm not expecting a big story from this type of movie but I need something. It has no story whatsoever. The characters are badly written, I had no sympathy with any of them. There are some random sex scenes which I like, but it was freakin' pointless. I mean okay, put in some sex, yeah that's great, the lead actress has great tits but that's about it. Like at the ending of the movie where Brendan Fletcher and that chick started to have sex. While they captured. Okay, right. Jesus Christ! Really, I am not a Boll-hater but this film is absolutely worthless, awful and BAD in every single aspect. I love trash but that was boring.
The Punisher (2004)
"This is not vengeance. It's punishment." More like a joke...Bad joke
I expected to see a good old fashioned action flick and I disappointed. Very disappointed. This movie is very, very bad! Not the worst movie, but close. Don't get me wrong, Thomas Jane would be perfect for the role. He would be the perfect Punisher. He has the voice for that and the look, but for God's sake, where is the director when a film needed him? Oh yeah, it has a director, called Jonathan Hensleigh. But he didn't do anything for this picture. The dialogs are so incredibly bad, it's painful to hear, and what about those idiotic annoying neighbors? What are they doing here? This is just wrong! So what about the action? Well, the action on the other hand was not so bad. Well, let's just say: good. I liked the scene when Frank's family got killed. It was great and somehow disturbing to me. That was really good. But there is more bad thing in the movie than a good thing. Some scenes are so bad you are laughing about them. John Travolta's character for example. I love Travolta. I never see him giving a bad performance. I saw him in a bad film but never a bad performance. But here...He's awful. Sorry, but that's the truth. He was like "What the heck am I doing here? Okay, I play the bad guy, so I say something really bad." He's acted like he didn't give a damn about the whole project. Well, I can understand him. That's the point where the film needs a director. But the director is nowhere. That's bad, isn't it? Most of the actors in this movie are awful so it's not just about Travolta. Meanwhile the Punisher take his bad-ass-suit and do something really...Well, honestly he didn't do anything bad-ass only at the final showdown but that was not enough. He's crying, he's like a grown-up-baby. So the last thing you would think about him is: "That guy is bad-ass." No, he's not. He's pretty lame for being a guy who kills every single bad guy in the streets. That's it, that's the sad truth. So how's the final showdown? It was pretty good after that damn car-thing. Jesus...That was the worst main villain-death ever. Really. It was hilarious but not in a good way. Awful I say. Painful to watch but not in a good way. Just bad. So, so bad. It's punishment, all right. For the viewer. Capital Punishment!
Avoid this movie! Go, watch War Zone or the Death Wish-movies! Those are awesome but this is crap!
Ong Bak 2 (2008)
Tony Jaa = Cinematic God
I just saw this movie, and I completely amazed by it. Tony Jaa is one of the most talented, most gifted martial artist in the entire planet, the best since Bruce Lee or the young Jackie Chan. When I saw the Ong bak (2003) I was literally went nuts. The fighting scenes were more then awesome, that was something new, something that you didn't see every day. Then came the Protector. More and even better action, more fury, and more fun. "Okay." - I wondered - "How can they top this?" I mean you saw Tony Jaa kickin' ass, and kickin' more ass, what's next? Go back to the golden ages of martial art flicks and see how an instant classic movie done. Now you have Tony Jaa as a director and a star. The movie takes years and years ago, and it's about a young martial artist. The camera work is superb, the soundtrack is fantastic and the most important thing: the fighting scenes are absolutely nuts! I mean damn great! If you saw all of the Bruce Lee-films, and Jet Li's entire filmography, you still didn't see anything like this before. There are sword fights, fights with bare hands and elbows and there are kicks, punches, cuts, THIS MOVIE HAS EVERYTHING! The final fight scene is just EPIC, you will cheer and scream, and you want to see it again. You will have a geekgasm, my friend!
Halloween (2007)
Not that bad for a remake
I know, lot of people hate Rob Zombie. You think he's a talentless a**hole who raped the memory of a great, classic horror movie. Well, you're part right, part wrong. First of all, I like Zombie's movies. I like the House of a 1000 Corpses, and I love The Devil's Rejects. I wondered what would he do with the Halloween remake. I was very curious to see his vision of Michael Myers. Well, I liked it. Not loved it. You know why? Because it's a damn remake, that's why! I love the first 20-25 minutes of this film, it was great I think. I loved the young Michael, even though it was a bit cliché but Zombie handled it pretty well. Then came the movie that we all seen before, except it was gorier and bloodier than in the '70s. But don't get me wrong! I enjoyed the deaths, it was intense and I was thrilled by the end of the movie. It was scary and rough, bloody. Not like the classic Halloween. It's different. I prefer Carpenter's movie of course, but I don't hate this movie as most people do. I can't wait for the sequel, I'm pretty sure that it's gonna be fantastic!
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
I love you, Lexi!
In these days action movies are too soft, too light hearted and lame. Okay, there is a Bourne kid, he knows something, the Bourne-films are great, and I even love the M:I-3, but you know something...I miss those great, bloody, gory action flicks from the eighties and nineties. Movies like Death Wish, Rambo, Man of War and The Killer. Those movies were awesome! They were violent, and brutal. And where are those action stars? Stallone is still in fantastic shape, but where are the other action stars? The new generation is suck ass, except Jason Statham, he's great! So what do we got in here? We got a vigilante, named Frank Castle alias the Punisher. He doesn't foolin' around, he's kick ass. Okay? He's like the Rambo of the big city. He's family got killed, you know the story. This is a great material, it's got a potential for a badass '80-like action flick. The other Punisher, the one was made in 2004 was awful. Not because of Thomas Jane, but the direction and the script was just terrible. I hated that movie. Now we got a reboot. We have a female director, and you got every right to be worried. I was worried, though. But when I saw the second red-band footage of this film, I was like: "Dude, this has to be the most badass action-flick ever made!" And I wasn't disappointed, I can tell you that. So how's the movie? Damn violent! Frank Castle is a violent, show-no-mercy-take-no-prisoners-mean motherf*cker in this flick. When he points a gun at somebody's head, you have to be pretty sure that the guy's gonna die pretty bad. I love everything about this movie! I love the photography, the music, the acting (especially Ray Stevenson, Dominic West and Doug Hutchinson) and the blood, I love every damn second of this flick! Of course it's not perfect, but you know what? If you truly love action films, you have to appreciate Lexi for making this movie. Now I love her! I recommend it! Trust me it's worth to see!
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
My God! That was really BAD!
I mean BAD! No kidding, this movie is on par with Ghost Rider. Not awful, but one of the weakest comic book movies ever made. And you know what? I loved the X-Men movies. I love the comic books (the Chris Claremont-series), and of course Wolverine is one of my favorites character. He's badass, cool, and mean son-of-a-b*tch. He doesn't't f*ckin' around. Don't get me wrong, in the previous X-Men flicks I really liked Hugh Jackman's performance as Logan. He was great. But the difference is that those movies had a great director. A director who can handle the entire mythology, who gave us a faithful comic book adaption. Now we have Gavin Hood. He doesn't have a clue what's going on in this universe. He doesn't know who is Wolverine, he doesn't understand the character, etc. Of course the action scenes are not so bad, the final action is pretty good I say, but that's just not enough. Remember Brian Cox from the X2? He was an awesome Stryker! Danny Huston is just...Well...He's bad. I wanted to slap him in the face, but not in a good way. Brian Cox was the devil but Danny Huston was pretty lame. Liev as Sabertooth was pretty good, though. So what? Didn't change anything. Oh and for f*ck's sake, what the hell is Cyclops doing in this movie? And how the hell got his glasses before he met Xavier? It's just plain damn lame. The opening scene sucks too. So why I gave this movie 4/10? Good question! Maybe didn't worth that much, but I can't entirely hate it. You know Gambit was a cool guy in this picture. Cool, but not enough screen time. Damn! Not a very good picture, but not as bad as Catwoman. That's something, heh?
Far Cry (2008)
You know what? I LOVED this flick!
It was directed by Uwe Boll. So what? Is that makes this film instantly the worst film ever? I know, Uwe Boll is not the greatest director ever. I saw Bloodrayne and it was pretty awful. But you gotta believe me, Far Cry is an entertaining, action-packed flick, and if you love those "B"-movies from the '80s and '90s you will love this movie as much as I am. Believe me please, and give it a chance! It has some corny jokes but still great! And I mean it! Till Schweiger was good in his role, Udo Kier is an icon, it was a pleasure to watch him, and...Great action, explosions, car-chase, boat-chase, blood, and everything you need! Great movie!
Hell Ride (2008)
Could have been so much better but it's still a damn entertaining movie!
Well, at least for me it was very entertaining. I know that lot of people hate this movie, and honestly I can understand them, I know it's not perfect, but somehow I enjoyed every goddamn minute of this biker-flick.
First of all, let's say some bad things about this. The running time is - let's just say - ridiculously short. Well it's not necessary a bad thing, but could have been much better movie if if they've made it 20 minutes longer. That would served the story, which is good, but in some place you don't know what's going on.
That was the bad side of it...
Now the Good: it is unbelievable cool and badass! If you forget about the plot-holes of the story (as I did), you can enjoy the hell out of this flick (as I did). Larry Bishop plays Pistolero. The guy is not very likable, but he has style, and some pretty cool one-liner. And there is Michael Madsen. I love that guy! I mean Michael has a lot of bad movies, really truly crap movies, but here he's just cool. Wheel not as cool as he was in Reservoir Dogs but it's close, man, really close. The music is also pretty well done, I can say that! The cinematography is great, and the violence is satisfying. Oh, and...David Carradine! He was GOD! He has just one scene, but...He was GOD, and that's it.
So I liked that movie. I know you hate me for this, but I can live with that. To each his own as they say.
Day of the Woman (1978)
Brutal...Very brutal
Let me tell you that I'm a sucker for these types of movies. I love revenge-movies, I like when a movie pushing the limits, when I'm on the edge of my seat and when the director is brave enough to direct those "hard-to-watch"-scenes.
The story of this flick is simple. The girl who just wants to be alone and write her own novel in a beautiful weekend-house, gets f*cked up pretty bad by some guy. 4 guys actually. Then, when she wakes up, starts plan her revenge. Pure and simple...
The rape-scene in the beginning is pretty tough to watch I can say that. But that's what I like about the exploitation-movies. There is NO music in this film, not a damn soundtrack, and it makes the movie more intense and more frightening I think. The girl who played Jennifer Hill is done a great job, congratulations! After she gets raped and walking totally nude in the forest, dirty and bloody...Man...You can't see like that in today's Hollywood-movies. Jesus...
Let's talk about the revenge. It's damn satisfying! Of course it's disturbing and brutal as hell, but satisfying when those prick gets what they deserves! I can highly recommend that movie for anyone who loves exploitation-films and revenge-flicks. It's truly an underrated classic bit of a genre. Diamond in a rough!
Eraser (1996)
Arnold Schwarzenegger is God...
...and that movie is one of his best work. If you liked his classic pictures like Red Heat, Raw Deal or Commando, you will love this one that's for sure. He's badass in this one, there are some classic funny one-liners, and the action is top notch! Well okay...If I wanna be honest with you, the CGI is a bit crappy in one particular scene, but that doesn't matter.
The story is simple, the acting is good, I really liked James Caan as the bad guy. He was so funny, if you see his face, it's just f*ckin perfect! The perfect bad guy! Vanessa Williams is beautiful I think, she gave us a solid performance. Nothing special but hey this is a Schwarzenegger-movie! Who wants Oscar-nominated performances from a "guy's movie"?? You get everything what you want from an action-flick! Big guns, big explosions, big muscles, the action is over-the-top a bit, but that's okay.
Great movie, one of the best action films of the '90s. One of my favorite Arnie-movie along with Commando and Terminator - Judgement Day. See it!
Delta (2008)
Masterpiece!
Mundruczo Kornél's latest movie is not just one of the best Hungarian movies ever made, but I can tell you honestly that Delta is one of the best movies of all time. Well it's not for everybody, not for the popcorn-audience. If your room is full with HSM posters and pictures, well this film is not for you. But if you like art movies and movies that makes you think you will love every second of it. It's slow but that's not a problem. The two main character is brilliantly played by Tóth Orsi and Lajkó Félix. They're both done a great job. Congratulation! The camera work is amazing, there is some long-long shots I liked them. The scene where Orsi got raped, now that was pretty disturbing but brilliantly filmed I can say that. The ending was sad and haunting, but necessary I think. As I said before it's not a damn popcorn-movie, don't expect happy end, you will not gonna get it! Sad movie. But man...What a masterpiece! Must see!
Daredevil (2003)
Criminally underrated
This is one of my absolute favorite comic book movies ever made. It's dark, it's entertaining, it has great story. And I gotta tell that Ben Affleck is great too in the costume of Daredevil. He's great and that's that! I don't know why he was nominated Razzie Award, in my opinion he was awesome. The other actors in the movie are great too! There is Colin Farrell. Usually I not a fan of him, but here, he's gave us an awesome performance as the professional killer the Bullseye. He can kill you with nut. No joke. He's a great character. And there is Michael Clarke Duncan as the Kingpin. Well, I know that in the original comic book, the Kingpin is white, but you know what? Doesn't matter. This Kingpin is similar to the comic book-Kingpin, except the color of they're skin. Both of them are big, both of them are brutal and Duncan has a voice that makes my skin crawl.
The direction is perfect I think. Dark and stylish, like a good Batman-movie. The story is good too, because it's not just a typical superhero-story, it is actually a tragedy if you think about that. It has drama and blood, not funny at all, but okay it has some funny moments, but not much.
So I don't understand why people hate that movie so much. It's great! Grow up people! See this movie with an open mind! Damn...
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Die Light
Let me tell you that I really like Bruce Willis and most of his movies. I liked the original Die Hard-movies, I'm fan of the Last Boys Scout and The Last Man Standing. These are awesome action movies! Well, I really wanted to like the new Die Hard-flick as much as I loved the old ones, but I just couldn't think of it as a Die Hard-movie. Why? Because it's PG-13. And that's a serious problem my friend, if you ask me. If I wanna see a pg-13 action-flick, I go and see the Bourne Supremacy. Good movie. But if I want to see a good old fashioned balls-to-the-walls action movie with Bruce Willis - well - I'm afraid that's not the right movie to see. This is truly Die Light. The only thing remind me the other chapters of that series is Bruce Willis, but I think he looks a bit tired. And what about the villain? There is NO villain in this movie! Oh, yeah Timothy Olyphant plays a guy who want to teach America a lesson. He's so weak. He's so not good. And what kind of villain is that who doesn't kill anybody? I mean, come on, remember Alan Rickman? He WAS the perfect Die Hard-villain. He has balls, he has voice, he was evil and that's it. Sorry, Tim, you failed! You are a crappy bad guy! Let's talk about the action. Good. I have to say that the action is good. Not awesome, not terrific, just good. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing special.
The one-liners are not bad but...I think that the writers tried too hard to find a good one-liner and...Some of it feels so un-natural and un-authentic. But that's just my personal-opinion.
The weakest of the Die Hard movies.
Urban Legend (1998)
Not bad!
Actually this movie is pretty cool and scary I think. Well not very scary, I mean the Twin Peaks is scarier that's for sure but it has some scenes that freaked me out a little bit. Also this movie is funny and not too serious as many teenage-horror movie wanna be. It's just funny, bloody entertaining stupid horror film with stupid people and...Oh I forgot! There is Robert Englund of course! Freddy Krueger! One of my favorite! The girls are hot, the humour is good (my personal favorite is the Dawson's theme...you will know what I'm talking about), all you need is a lot of beer, friends, some popcorn and a sense of humor. If you have all these things you will enjoy this movie a LOT! You won't be disappoint I promise!
Le battant (1983)
Good, but...
...could have been much better if the director (Alain Delon) can handle the atmosphere of the film. I mean...There is no atmosphere in the movie and that's the single problem with Le Battant. Otherwise it's a pretty good, hard boiled revenge-flick, and in some scenes reminded me Mel Gibson's little thriller called Payback. Alain Delon is cool, he's a silent murderer in this movie, he didn't give a damn about anybody, he slaps the poor girl when the situation needs it, so he's just a cold blooded killer who's only interested in his freedom and the money he deserved. The story has some twist (but nothing special), some violence, but as I said before it could have been much better.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Maybe I'm the stupid one...
...but I really love this movie! Many people was disappointed when saw the fourth chapter of Indy, and I don't get it why. Because the UFO-thing? Actuelly I thought it was pretty cool. Weird a bit but I liked that idea. Or Shia? In my opinion Shia is a good young actor. He's funny and cool, etc. I'd like to see him in more movies. Or...Maybe Cate Blanchett the weak point of the movie? I don't think so. She was just perfect! Not an Oscar-worthy performance but who's expecting that from an Indy movie? She's evil and that's it. Plain and simple. God bless Spielberg for the old school action sequences, I was on the edge of my seat while I watching the jungle chase but not just that scene, all of the action scenes was awesome! A little CGI was there (and don't blame Lucas for that!) but I didn't notice them.
You see, as the big man (Spielberg) said the Indiana Jones-movies are "B"-movies but with a budget of an "A"-movie. If you like "B"-movies you are gonna like this movie or the other Indy-flicks. I think that too. Turn off your brain and just enjoy! Indy rules!!!!! As good as the old episodes of the series!
Rambo (2008)
That's what I'm talking about!
Rambo would punch the hell out of Bourne. And I love Bourne! I mean the Bourne movies are great, but something's always bothered me. The rating system! PG-13 for an action movie? Come on! Back to the eighties and see the action movies like Cobra, Rambo-movies, and Schwarzenegger's classic the Commando. Those are awesome flicks! Now, in 2008 new century etc. Stallone is now 61 years old, and honestly I didn't believe in him when I first heard about that fourth Rambo-movie. I was worried I can tell you. But one day - when they put the first footage of the trailer on the internet - something of a miracle happened! I was amazed when I saw the footage! And I mean it! I almost fell off the chair, my jaw was on the ground.
Now let's talk about the movie! As many people said before me this movie is not for the squeamish and definitely not for the faint of heart. Brutal with capital 'B'! The violence is on the top, and Rambo is meaner and angrier than ever. When he's killing, he's KILLING! As the tag line said: "When you're pushed, killing is as easy as breathing." That's not just another "The tag line is great and that's gonna sell the movie"-type of line. Sly raise the bar with the action scenes in the movie, in the third act everyone goes nuts, all hell breaks loose, and that's good! I am happy! Sly is back after all those crappy movies like the Driven. He's back...With a vengeance!
Death Proof (2007)
Underrated!
Mr. Tarantino was always my favorite director. Well, not THE favorite, but I really like his movies, I think he's one of the most original movie makers ever lived, and - in my opinion - he doesn't repeated himself. Always something new, something different, one genre after another, but the most important thing is: he is Tarantino! When you see a Tarantino-picture, you will know that it's HIS movie! From the greatness of the dialogs, the camera-work, and from the story, that is very simple, you've seen somewhere else, but not in that way. This is QT's universe. You never know what's gonna happen in the next scene, who's gonna die, or raped or who's gonna cry. Full of surprises! Now this movie is very stylish, it has very dirty language (like in every Tarantino-movie), and it has very very memorable scenes. Scenes that you will remember 'til the day you die. For example, the car-chase-scene. Transformers has car chase, and many movie has car chase, but this IS the real deal! Fast, adrenaline-filled, and you can't breathe. You're jumping, and screaming while the girls kicks Mike's ass! It's glorious, believe me! Violent as hell, but this not the 'Scorsese-type' of violence, it's a bit cartoonish, like the Tom & Jerry.
As a Grindhouse-flick it works but better if you see this movie as a Tarantino-film.
Doomsday (2008)
One hell of a ride
Doomsday is funny, violent, stupid in some places, but man, this is entertainment at its best! I loved the hell out of The Descent. It was one of the best horror films I've ever scene. Then came the Doomsday, and - punch me if you want - for me it is on my "The Year's best movies" list. You see, this is the kind of movie where you don't need to use your brain, don't need to thinking logic, you have to lay down on your bed, get some popcorn and coke and just enjoy the Ride! The action is non-stop, the adrenaline is high and you gotta love that crazy car chase at the end of the movie, which is almost as good as the Death Proof car chase-scene. Wild and cool, brings back the sweet memories of The Road Warrior.
Last Man Standing (1996)
One of Bruce Willis's very best movies
In my opinion this movie is far better than Live free or die hard. Yes, you heard me! The last man...is just a blast. Great, bloody action sequences, Bruce is great Walken is just Walken, nothing special about him in this picture, but the atmosphere is just perfect. I mean wonderful. The music, the cinematography...I was amazed when I saw this first time, I was shocked how underrated is that movie. Walter Hill created a masterpiece, and don't say that: "It's just another Hollywood-style remake." Not it's not! Remember, that The Fistful of Dollars was a remake of Yojimbo! I'm not say that Bruce's bloody carnage is best or as great as Sergio's classic, but trust me when I'm tell you: it's worth to see it, and not just only once!