bertverwoerd Reviews

Katy Perry: Making of the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show (2015)

Katy 'Clockwork' Perry

[8/10 · 4 August 2016]

This documentary is fantastic in the way it shows just how much work a 12-minute Super Bowl halftime show really is. For months on end, a hundreds-strong production team works their asses off and rehearses dozens of times to get everything just right.

Eight minutes to get the bizarrely huge stage on the field, then 12 minutes in which absolutely nothing can go wrong, then even less time to get everything cleared off the field again for the second half of the game. Hundreds of truly dedicated people in sync like clockwork. A fantastic sight to behold.

On top of this pyramid of machine-like precision is the current queen of pop, Katy Perry. Throughout the 70 minute documentary she shows herself to be a ruthlessly precise and professional person. She shows not to have achieved success because of circumstance, but because of a lifetime of very hard work -- the embodiment of the American Dream.

At one point she confidently stares into the mirror just before the show's about to start and tells herself: you got this. You are worth it. You are where you're supposed to be. She does, and she is. As such, this documentary is all about a truly fantastic woman pulling off the best halftime show in Super Bowl history.

In My Father's Garden (2016)

Made by atheists for atheists

[3/10 · 4 April 2016]

Though I am not religious anymore and have not visited a Dutch Reformed church in a decade or so, I retained enough knowledge about my former faith to be very annoyed by this movie. It gets so many details so blatantly wrong, that it's clearly made by people who have never seen a church from the inside, and is aimed at non- believers only.

As such, it fails to deliver on its premise of painting a portrait of the very devoutly Christian Dutch 'gereformeerden.' At one point a child actor sings one of the most famous psalms in the Dutch Calvinist churches, but completely, totally, screws up the melody; more than enough to not be able to suspend one's disbelief any longer. Just another example of shoddy research: the actors read Bible verses in the old 17th century translation, but never do this in the singy, nearly Muslim-like way all Reformed people do it.

Additionally, the movie appears to have had a budget of about $3.50. Its OST consists of a 10 second loop of orchestral music which blatantly rips off Michael Kamen's Band of Brothers soundtrack, and its camera work is so shoddy you keep thinking they just couldn't be bothered to do any retakes.

Also, the casting is horrible: several actors are either just really bad, or talk in Brabantian (southern Dutch) accents while no Reformed person in the history of Calvinism would ever have talked in such an accent (the Bible Belt is north from Brabant). Then, there are numerous anachronisms: for example, music that is supposed to sound like mid- 60s Beatlemania rock (as the scene is set in 1965) actually sounds like mid-50s Buddy Holly-rock 'n roll. Lastly, the director chose to end a movie about the most die hard Amish-like hardcore Christians you can find on the planet, by playing an evangelical 'hallelujah!' song while the credits roll. Appalling and laughable.

All in all, a movie to avoid, except if you want to waste two hours of your life on a totally incorrect and sloppy portrayal of zealous Dutch Christians. If you réally want to spend two hours on getting to know the Reformed Church, they'll gladly show you for free twice every Sunday at a location near you (though I'd suggest you stay in bed instead to Netflix and chill).

Perfect Match (2015 TV Movie)

Idiotic

[3/10 · 16 February 2016]

If you like ALL your men portrayed as a particularly mongoloid subspecies of Neanderthal, and ALL your women stuck in a worse princessy Disney rut than any real life royalty ever was, then this movie is for you.

The gender roles would have been called ridiculously dated in Victorian times, let alone in 2015. A script so outdated and unoriginal that the writers seem to try to underline the fact that history always repeats itself. A plot so contrived and unfunny that the 1939 invasion of Poland probably got more laughs.

We know Danica McKellar can do so much more. Here, she certainly doesn't get the chance to do so. As such, the whole movie is one big waste of talent, money, and, if you choose to watch this, time as well.

A War (2015)

Danish cinema delivers once again

[8/10 · 19 January 2016]

Over the last decade, we've come to expect a lot from the Danes when it comes to making movies. This film, too, shows a lot of promise: its writer and director Tobias Lindholm also wrote the scripts for the fantastic Kapringen and the utterly haunting Jagten. Its lead actor Pilou Asbæk shined in R, Kapringen and Borgen. Does this talent show again in Krigen? Yes, it does.

It certainly does. The film excellently portrays the atrocities of warfare in Afghanistan through the eyes of company commander Pedersen (Asbæk), who is confronted with questions and decisions only soldiers have to deal with. Issues of survival, of morality, of death and life come to the fore in a film that shows nothing in war is black and white.

Why decide so-and-so? Why did such-and-such happen in this or that way? Could it have been altered? Could lives have been saved? Did I do the job I signed up for, or more, or less? The ways in which such issues haunt soldiers, their commanders, their families and even the Afghan locals, form the basis of this important film.

Lindholm refrains from falling into the pitfalls of making a typical gung-ho war film, or copying any of the thousands of battlefield depictions already produced. He produced a motion picture that will certainly stand the test of time because it is as much about the human condition on the battle- and home fronts, as it is about the fighting itself.

The cinematography is great, the sound is very decent and the plot ultimately leaves you with the same ambiguous feeling that many of the soldiers depicted will undoubtedly have. Krigen is a solid film that does not blemish the Danish film industry's good reputation, and is certainly a serious contender for this year's Academy Award for Best Foreign Picture.

Son of Saul (2015)

Silent screaming

[8/10 · 18 January 2016]

The room is filled to the brim with happy, healthy people aged 20 to 80, who just stocked up on American drinks and candy of all sorts and eagerly await the start of the movie. After some commercials and a trailer, the lights dim and the last conversations between these movie-goers come to a halt. Silence ensues.

FESTIVAL DE CANNES / GRAND PRIX, the screen states. The film begins. A seemingly never-ending scene is shown in which we follow the stoic face of a man who walks among hundreds of others, gently prodding them to move along, walk faster, go on. Everyone present in the cinema immediately knows what's going on. Silence continues.

The people undress. They are herded into the 'shower' rooms. The doors are shut. The Jews who are forced to help the Nazis murder these people are asked to throw their full bodyweight against the doors, so nobody can escape. Screams, endless screams, envelop the theater. High-pitched children's screams, men's despairing yells, women's cries and sobs. After what seems to be an eternity, the screen cuts to black and the movie title is displayed. The screams fall silent.

Filmed in a World War 2-like 4X3 aspect ratio, we continue to follow the protagonist literally head-on for an hour and a half. The 21st- century audience knows the stories, the names of the camps, has read books and seen dozens of movies about the Holocaust. But never like this. Screams alternate with silence, gunshots juxtapose stillness, life rubs in death. And through all of it, the audience is silent.

Some gasp and put their hands in front of their mouths, others have the same dead stare the protagonist shows throughout the movie. Most everyone has trouble breathing as the movie grabs them by the throat and does not let go. Silence screams from the throats of every movie- goer present.

As the credits roll, nobody talks, but everyone is in a hurry to leave the theater. Everyone wants to escape the living hell they've just experienced for an hour and a half. And everyone is more keenly aware than ever that for 15 million people a mere three generations ago, escape was not an option. The audience was never this silent during any of the hundreds of movies I saw on the silver screen. No coughs, no crunching on chips, no unscrewing of bottles, no talk. Merely silence.

As the audience shuffles out of the door, they all realize that silence is all that remains: silence screaming from the theater itself, screaming silence from the screen. They know that no matter how many books, history lessons or movies are made about the subject, it's a silence that still should be screamed, yelled and cried into the world for generations to come.

The Magical World of Disney: Davy Crockett: Indian Fighter (1954) Season 1, Episode 8

Started the Crockett craze

[8/10 · 21 January 2015]

It's astounding that this particular "Disneyland" episode hasn't got any reviews yet, so I figured I'd write one. Why the lack of reviews is astounding? Well, for several reasons. For starters, this particular episode featured the catchy and instantly recognizable song 'Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier', which would become the theme song of all following Disney-made Davy Crockett episodes and movies.

Additionally, this was the first episode of a five-parter which was commissioned by Disney in an effort to both popularize American historical figures and at the same time make a buck out of them. If this strategy would prove successful, Crockett and others would also get their own section in Disneyland.

And popular they were. Over 300 million dollars worth of Davy Crockett merchandise was sold in just over a year, or 3 billion dollars in today's money. The franchise was successfully exported to Britain and mainland Europe. A French translation of the song topped the French charts for five consecutive weeks.

This and the following episodes were filmed in color at a ranch in California and a Native American reservation in North Carolina. Though originally broadcast in black-and-white, the color reels were restored a few years later and broadcast again after color TV was introduced.

I won't spoil the story, but it's pretty straightforward. Davy Crockett fights 'bars', helps fight rebellious Native Americans in the Creek War of 1813-1814 and at the same time helps create greater understanding of and respect for each other on both sides.

The script's fine, the acting's nothing to be ashamed of and the production values are great for 1950s television. Whether or not the episode (and the following four episodes in the five-parter) actually merited the Crockett craze which followed it, well, even Disney couldn't say: he later stated the whole craze left him dumbfounded and came as a total surprise.

Sommer vorm Balkon (2005)

Good morning, sunshine

[8/10 · 25 November 2014]

Though I've been watching films all my life and have been active on IMDb for nearly a decade, I never bothered to write an official user review. Up until today. (Well, duh, or you wouldn't be reading this.) With just three reviews in nearly ten years, this film seems to be greatly overlooked as well as under-appreciated. Which is a pity, as it conveys so much in such an understated way.

First of all, several establishing shots of the town it's set in -Berlin- are not only beautiful, but will also put a smile on the faces of everyone who, like Marlene Dietrich, loves the city.

Next, the film wonderfully shows average life – it does not pretend to have a blockbuster-type script. There are no spies, murderers or explosions. There are just normal folks with normal, rather dreary lives, with quite average problems, jobs and so forth. The way in which Nadja Uhl's job -homecare of senior citizens- is depicted, is respectful and loving. Like so many aspects of this movie, this depiction closely resembles real life. And the romance she ensues makes you scream at the screen: stop that, he's bad for you, a lot like what happens a lot in real life as well – regardless of gender.

Also realistic is the way the movie conveys the desperation of Inka Friedrich, a single mom who has trouble finding any sort of reliable job and too little money to adequately take care of her son. Again, many people from all the seven continents will be able to empathize with or recognize her situation.

Then there's the great use of music to establish the location, namely Germany: many typical 'schlager' songs are featured and the use of Nana Mouskouri's 'Guten Morgen Sonnenschein' is not only very clever, but also ensures that particular (very catchy) song to be stuck in your head for days to come.

To save the best for last: Nadja Uhl. This great actress, also known for her roles in De Tweeling, Dschungelkind, Die Stille nach dem Schuß and Der Baader Meinhof Komplex, might be the prettiest woman and one of the very best actresses ever to have been 'Made in Germany'. Unfortunately, both her looks and skills have been criminally undervalued internationally. Luckily, there are films like Sommer vorm Balkon, in which we get to see her shine like only few actresses can.

While the film might have its faults, much like nearly every other film does, the combination of its honest script, great use of music, Berlinesque setting and great acting -as said, in particular Mrs. Uhl- make it very worthwhile.