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pleasantcow
Reviews
The Open House (2018)
Spoiler Alerts Don't Matter Because There Is Nothing To Spoil
Good job Netflix! You bought total crap! After watching this I can't help but feel like the "writers" of this trainwreck are sitting in their beanbag chairs and taking turns patting each other on the back. Instead of congratulating themselves they should be taking script writing classes. This was the laziest piece of crap that I have seen in a VERY long time. "Oh! We have a great idea for a movie!...I mean...we don't have any structure and we don't have a clue how to finish it...but maybe people will think we're geniuses for just phoning in the entire ending of the movie!"
Listen...there are no spoiler alerts here. This movie is a complete waste of time. If these two morons ever hope to make another movie...maybe they should learn something about structure...plot...climax. I feel like this movie was written on a napkin at a Denny's and then left on the table and the busboy decided to make it.
It's just awful. Stay away. And pray they never make another film in their lives. There are too many talented writers and directors out there to waste any time on these two.
There...I said it.
Hot Pursuit (2015)
Just Don't
Dear Lord. I don't usually write reviews. But I had to this time to stop you from wasting even a moment of your life. Just stop! Don't watch it. It's like you're telling your ancestors that you don't care what they went through to get us to where we are today. It's awful. Awful. If your girlfriend or wife is still saying, "it can't be that bad."...leave them...forever. Nothing about this movie is redeemable. Nothing. Please for the love of anything pure...don't press play! I know there's nothing about the actual film in my review...and that's because there's nothing to review. Please...for the sake of your children and our future as a species...don't...do not!...press play.
It's just SO bad...anyone who actually gave this more than a star..must be related to someone who worked on it.
Please help us all if this is where cinema is heading.