The Skydivers (1963)
1/10
Woah! Did that just happen?
17 February 1999
This film tells the turgid tale of a man named Harry who is cheating on his wife (who is played by an actress named Kevin), who is cheating on him with his ol' war buddy Joe. At one point Harry dies, I think. The film-makers were a bit ambivalent on this point.

Anyway, this is a total movie-going experience. For one thing, Tony Cardoza, in the role of Harry, cannot act. Well, make that "DOESN'T" act. He says every line in the same monotone voice. It doesn't matter if his Skydiving Center is being shut down or he suspects his wife & best friend are making out on ladder or it's his turn to pick a song at the jukebox: HE NEVER CHANGES HIS EXPRESSION! It's pretty entertaining.

Don't worry, the supporting cast more than makes up for Cardoza's lack of a screen presence. Apparently director Coleman Francis stuck in all his odd, lumpy friends in the background of this epic. There's the excited Scotsman in his kilt, a manly woman who beats up a scrawny, Iggy Pop-esque fellow while dancing, a noodly retarded photographer, a bland guy holding a guitar for no apparant reason, a beatnik holding a rooster, a gal who wears Roller Skates and an Ice skating outfit no matter where she is (including a bar), a perky gal in a polka-dot bikini dancing at the airfield (the camera focuses on her buttocks for 75% of the dance sequence), the confused millionaire, the weasly lawyer (wonderfully played by Harold Saunders from Francis' Red Zone Cuba), the confused old lady in a straw hat, the excited immigrant girl, and Steve, the creepy, stubbly Skydiver who falls to his death after yelling that skydiving is "FUN"!

Personally, I love all of Coleman Francis' unique films. Each chapter in his trilogy paints a portrait of a dark, plane-obsessed man who drank a lot.

And that's just fine with me.
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