The Skydivers (1963)
1/10
Made by Coleman Francis, bankrolled by Folgers
28 September 1999
Never before in the history has so much coffee been consumed! Never before has there been so much skydiving! Never before had I been bored off my rear end than by watching this movie!! What Roger Corman does for walking, Coleman Francis does for skydiving.

The story concerns a small skydiving school that teeters of the brink of ruin. The owner's wife is fooling around, people are jumping out of planes left and right, a sinister plot is afoot, and more coffee is being consumed in two hours than in one year at a Starbucks. Oh, and did I mention that someone falls to their death?

Coleman Francis knows three paces in movies: slow, turgid, and dead. Your common box turtle moves faster than this movie does. However, I will say that it does not reach the level of "Red Zone Cuba", Francis' magnum opus. At least The Skydivers has that cheeky woman to look at towards the end; "Red Zone Cuba" gives us a horrible Fidel Castro impersonation.

This movie is required viewing if you plan to work in an ad agency that has Folgers or Maxwell House as a client. If not, use this to cure your insomnia.
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