Review of Billy Jack

Billy Jack (1971)
1/10
It's True What They Say About "Writer/Producer/Director/Actors"
31 August 2004
It has been many years since I have witnessed this nadir of American cinema so I may get some things a little out of order. That won't matter one bit. Believe me. And you will if you've seen this thing. Really.

Anytime that the same name appears as the writer, the producer, and the director, one has to at least be mildly suspicious that nobody else seemed to want to help out. Add lead actor to the credits and you have a recipe for disaster. Somewhere Michael Medved's Golden Turkey is squawking at this load of horse excrement that through it's antidisestablishmentarianism reputation became something of a cult movie. As cult movies go, it is no better or worse than most. The bad thing about this gut buster is our hero, Tom Laughlin. Some things are impossible to fabricate. Tom's contribution to the list of such things is his decision to put himself on the credits as producer under a pseudonym. What false name did he use?, you ask. Why dear reader, he used the name Mary Rose Solti. See. I could not possibly have made that up. I checked the IMDb listing for dear old Tom and found that he's used enough pseudonyms in his career to be the most wanted interstate bank robber in history. Too bad he chose another calling.

Enough about Tom! What could I say that hasn't already been said anyway. I will give him this much.....Billy Jack was an incredible investment that returned over 80 times the initial capital required to make it! It was, however, a case of a blind squirrel finding a nut. Tom just happened to be in the right place at the right time. The three (count them) movies that he made after this demonstrated even more heavy handed preachiness than Bea Arthur off of Prozac. Two of those three featured, you guessed it, Billy Jack! The other took place too long in the past for Billy Jack to have been born yet.

Okay.....really enough about Tom!

Billy Jack is the classic story of peaceful, back-to-harmony-with-nature good folk being put down by the man. Or in this case, rednecks. It seems that the "Freedom School" has run afoul of the local banjo-boys who want it shut down, bulldozed over, and replaced with a Wal-Mart. (I'm making the Wal-Mart part up because Wal-Mart had not, by the early seventies, penetrated as far as the desert southwest where the movie takes place.) The local ruffians, with the half-hearted help of the local constabulary are intent on running Jean Roberts and her subversive school out. They are being bankrolled by the big rancher who represents American greed and capitalism. Exactly what the school teaches (aside from Freedom) is never actually explained, nor is the vehement opposition to the school. Wait, it has to be that the school helps the local tribe and the bad guys are even worse than we thought because they are kicking the Native Americans when they are down and out and are perpetuating racial stereotypes and prejudice. Little do they know that their kids will someday be begging the tribe for janitorial jobs in the Bear Runs With Cash Casino. Maybe the "Freedom School" is teaching the finer arts of the gaming industry. We'll just never know. To this maelstrom of bad feelings and violent sentiment is introduced Billy Jack. He's a half-Indian half-White tribal policeman who just happens to have been a Green Beret and who just happens to be a martial arts expert and who just happens to be really messed up because he just happens to have been over in Nam. Since he is also doing a fairly decent Robert Blake impersonation, we know he is not to be trifled with and that sooner or later all that pent up rage is just going to boil over and erupt and it ..... Ooops, I'm rambling nearly as badly as the monosyllabic dialogue. Billy Jack knows injustice when he sees it and, wouldn't you know it, sometimes the only way for peace loving touchy-feely types to flourish is to get a genuine Bad Ass like Billy Jack to do their dirty work for them.

Pretty soon, the rancher's son up and kills somebody (but not before raping his victim). Billy Jack can no longer rely on words. Sometimes an avenging angel's gotta do what an avenging angel's gotta do. With the help of his trademark Funky Hat, he kills the damnable miscreant. Oh yeah, the rape victim was Billy's love buddy. Since he has stepped over the line, he seeks sanctuary in a church (call him Quasimodo) but he gives himself up to an angry throng in order to prevent further death and chaos. I knew that Mel Gibson got that movie idea from somewhere, now I know where. We're left with the quick wrap and set-up for a sequel, The Trial of Billy Jack.....followed by the three-quel, Billy Jack Goes to Washington. Hey, a felony is no barrier to public service. Damn right.

The plot is basic and emotionally charged. In the proper hands, this would have been done decently. For example, Sam Peckinpah would have had a scene in which someone has their ears torn off with vice-grips. That would have been great cinema! This train goes off the track at the outset with the theme song, "One Tin Soldier". This song is, at best, a bad parody of really really bad folk-anthem. Hint: I think the songwriter(s) really thought it was quite good, else they surely could not have slept at night.

The trademark, Funky Hat, is almost a character in and of itself. Having been ten years old when this movie came out, I endured an entire decade of seeing really "cool" dudes wearing replicas of Funky Hat. They also wore black outfits and never seemed to have girlfriends (or boyfriends for that matter). Even today, there are those who still relish its feel on the head, its broad brimmed protection from the sun, and its ability to render the wearer totally ridiculous in appearance. I suppose you could hide a lot of pot up there in that dome and the customs officers at the border would never notice.....they'd be laughing too hard to make you take it off.

In the proper hands this movie would have favored character development while blurring the lines between good and evil ala Norman Jewison. Not so in the ham fisted directorial style of Tom Laughlin (or should we call him Mary Rose?). Tom seems to subscribe to the school of cinema that holds that audiences only recognize extremely polarized characters. Either that, or Tom had some sort of experience with peyote that rendered him incapable of crafting two dimensional (let alone three dimensional) characters. Suffice to say, you are not going to find any conflicted good guys or bad guys here.

There is not a single character that I wanted to see alive at the end of the movie. As the show drug on, I was hoping for some biblical justice that would wipe all these people from the earth.

I'm not even going to delve into the total lack of production values. That would be akin to shooting fish in a barrel. Let's just say that Ed Wood put together more polished productions. I'm sorry to all of you who have such an excitement going for this movie. It is just plain bad.
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