There must be more Arquette family members out there then I thought if this flotsam got over a 2. This is film is not just garbage but the kind of garbage that leaks that nasty melange of trash water whose brackish color denotes a mixing of foul condiment bases. Haas and Arquette (two actors whose stand-ins should get higher billing) play gay prostitutes who dream of saving enough scratch to make it out of LA for the dream factory that is Branson, MO!? As many wads as the two of them have no doubt taken in real life I swore I thought this was a comedy for the first fifteen minutes given their innate lack of talent. But then the clichéd writing and amateurish directing kicked in and I began laughing out loud as this cinematic abortion lurched to its trite "shocker" of an ending and I realized that "Johns" took itself seriously. No, don't go on that "last date" John! Don't go on this date at all. And don't get me wrong, it's not the subject matter (Chuck and Buck is a personal, if creepy as all get out, favorite) it's the execution-which speaking of, if you can hear me God, please put Arquette down like the dog this movie is.
