I'm dumbfounded at the generally positive comments here for HEARTBREAKERS. This movie starts out shaky and completely derails before it's over; a couple of funny bits don't make up for 2+ hours of idiocy one must endure to find them.
First of my complaints is the movie's lack of characters to care about. Take Jack, played by Jason Lee, for example. Can he be any more stupid? I don't understand why he would fall in love with a girl who treats him so horribly; "Jane"'s schizoid feelings and obvious lying would make any man of reasonable intelligence kick her to the curb. Why is he so blind? Yes, she's got a nice body, but men don't fall in love with a girl's physical attributes, no matter how well they're displayed.
What's going on with Jason Lee, anyway? KISSING A FOOL? STEALING HARVARD? A GUY THING??? Kevin Smith frequently chides Ben Affleck about his more questionable Hollywood movies (ARMAGEDDON, PHANTOMS); I wonder if he's given Lee any pithy comments regarding his failed non-View Askew attempts at romantic-lead status.
But back to J. Love. It's nice to see her continuing to pursue an acting career by way of the Wonderbra. I'm amused that she believes she's got a real future in the movie business, as much as I snickered when her latest CD dropped (off the charts). She should do the Playboy layout while her girls can still hold themselves up.
Enough about Ms. Love - let's talk about Paige, her character in HEARTBREAKERS. How, I wonder, does a mother purposefully raise a child to be an amoral criminal? Did she ever question her mother's way of life? Rebel as a teenager? Turn her mother in for spite? A movie as long as this should have provided some backstory, so we could understand where these people have come from.
Both she and Weaver employ in HEARTBREAKERS screenplay device I abhor: talking to "themselves" (i.e. the audience). The makers of this movie have such a low opinion of their audience's intelligence that they give dialogue to their actresses that can be left unsaid. Hello! HEARTBREAKERS is easy enough to follow - we don't need people muttering what's obvious to anyone with half a brain.
I suppose, if there's anyone in this movie to like, it's the tobacco tycoon played by Gene Hackman. But the movie doesn't help us here, either; this character is just as clueless as Lee's. Surely a successful millionaire would be able to spot such a ruse like Weaver's noticeably spurious Russian act. Gimme a break.
But that's not all. What happened to him after he died? Was his death ruled a natural one? Did the cops wise up to these scam artists? Who discovered the body, and when? Who inherited his fortune? His former maid? Why did th e movie completely forget to resolve this plotline? Why is the movie so absentminded it can't remember its own plot?
Hackman is, by process of elimination, the only character we can possibly like in HEARTBREAKERS, even though he's in only about half the movie. Since the other males are either moronic (Lee) or crooked (Ray Liotta, whose character runs a chop shop), it's a grave error to dispose of Hackman so carelessly.
HEARTBREAKERS contains unlikable characters who inhabit the most contrived plot that's filled with improbable points (like the car accident and the manner of Hackman's final return to his home), all of which is wrapped up in, of course, a happy ending in which all sins are forgiving. These people deserve each other.
3/10
First of my complaints is the movie's lack of characters to care about. Take Jack, played by Jason Lee, for example. Can he be any more stupid? I don't understand why he would fall in love with a girl who treats him so horribly; "Jane"'s schizoid feelings and obvious lying would make any man of reasonable intelligence kick her to the curb. Why is he so blind? Yes, she's got a nice body, but men don't fall in love with a girl's physical attributes, no matter how well they're displayed.
What's going on with Jason Lee, anyway? KISSING A FOOL? STEALING HARVARD? A GUY THING??? Kevin Smith frequently chides Ben Affleck about his more questionable Hollywood movies (ARMAGEDDON, PHANTOMS); I wonder if he's given Lee any pithy comments regarding his failed non-View Askew attempts at romantic-lead status.
But back to J. Love. It's nice to see her continuing to pursue an acting career by way of the Wonderbra. I'm amused that she believes she's got a real future in the movie business, as much as I snickered when her latest CD dropped (off the charts). She should do the Playboy layout while her girls can still hold themselves up.
Enough about Ms. Love - let's talk about Paige, her character in HEARTBREAKERS. How, I wonder, does a mother purposefully raise a child to be an amoral criminal? Did she ever question her mother's way of life? Rebel as a teenager? Turn her mother in for spite? A movie as long as this should have provided some backstory, so we could understand where these people have come from.
Both she and Weaver employ in HEARTBREAKERS screenplay device I abhor: talking to "themselves" (i.e. the audience). The makers of this movie have such a low opinion of their audience's intelligence that they give dialogue to their actresses that can be left unsaid. Hello! HEARTBREAKERS is easy enough to follow - we don't need people muttering what's obvious to anyone with half a brain.
I suppose, if there's anyone in this movie to like, it's the tobacco tycoon played by Gene Hackman. But the movie doesn't help us here, either; this character is just as clueless as Lee's. Surely a successful millionaire would be able to spot such a ruse like Weaver's noticeably spurious Russian act. Gimme a break.
But that's not all. What happened to him after he died? Was his death ruled a natural one? Did the cops wise up to these scam artists? Who discovered the body, and when? Who inherited his fortune? His former maid? Why did th e movie completely forget to resolve this plotline? Why is the movie so absentminded it can't remember its own plot?
Hackman is, by process of elimination, the only character we can possibly like in HEARTBREAKERS, even though he's in only about half the movie. Since the other males are either moronic (Lee) or crooked (Ray Liotta, whose character runs a chop shop), it's a grave error to dispose of Hackman so carelessly.
HEARTBREAKERS contains unlikable characters who inhabit the most contrived plot that's filled with improbable points (like the car accident and the manner of Hackman's final return to his home), all of which is wrapped up in, of course, a happy ending in which all sins are forgiving. These people deserve each other.
3/10