Steven Spielberg finally figured out how to make a movie that is critic-proof and if anyone was going to do it, the former summer box office champ with a career long love-hate relationship with the nation's film reviewers is the man. He has reached back into the pages of history that saw his rise and done what all good modern filmmakers do - taken something familiar and given it a new twist. Apparently boning up on his Watergate trivia, Spielberg has taken that favorite of Nixon mouthpieces the non-denial denial, and given it a new, cinematic twist. He has made a non-movie movie.
Most cleverly, he passed on the director's duties to Joe Johnston so moviegoers will not be tempted to state "It must be a movie! See, Spielberg's name is on it." Looking at the progression of Johnston's work from Honey, I Shrank the Kids to The Rocketeer to Jumanji it seems he too has been doing his share to get to the non movie movie as well. October Sky is looking more like the exception than the rule. Spielberg has also gotten writers Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor III to get on board this non movie movie idea as well. Hopefully they will escape back to greener pastures that produced Election and Citizen Ruth.
So what is Jurassic Park III? Luckily, I spent the day Monday at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California and not dying from a brain aneurysm on Goliath I am here to tell you that without a doubt what this 95 minute series of images most resembles is a trip to the theme park of your choice. All you are supposed to remember are the thrills, not shuffling along for 20 minutes to get there. Just like in the movie, I saw and met other people (we can call them characters if it helps) as we filed up to the attraction. In the case of Monday, there was the nice trio from Orlando who I rode Riddler's Revenge with just like there's this trio headed by William H. Macy and Tea Leoni in Park who we get to know just as well.
In fact, Leoni is that hyper affected woman you get stuck next to who screams shrilly from start to finish. Only in her case it was acting in way so unbelievably life threatening to the other characters that their inaction had me wanting to belt this woman so badly Ike Turner would blush. If a films success should be judged by the emotional reaction it elicits, then congrats, Steven, I have never wanted to hit a woman so bad in all my life. Sure NOW really appreciates that.
So what are the big attractions? Well, we have the Overhead View Ride, the Crash The Plane Ride and about half a dozen Run Like Hell Rides. There are parts that were lots of fun and parts that just weren't worth the wait in line. My least favorite was seeing how much Taylor Nichols has aged since first breaking out in Metropolitan and Barcelona, the Good Lord, Have I Aged ride. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time Monday helping Time Warner AOL pad their bottom line by going on Viper and Batman, so too parts of Jurassic III - The Ride, Not The Movie. There were some great visuals, nifty new creatures and a few sequences that were very effective. Just don't call it a movie because then we have to get into things like story and character, something you just don't find in theme parks unless you provide them through your own imagination. Which, it seems, all the otherwise talented people behind JP3 expect you to do with their ride as well.
Most cleverly, he passed on the director's duties to Joe Johnston so moviegoers will not be tempted to state "It must be a movie! See, Spielberg's name is on it." Looking at the progression of Johnston's work from Honey, I Shrank the Kids to The Rocketeer to Jumanji it seems he too has been doing his share to get to the non movie movie as well. October Sky is looking more like the exception than the rule. Spielberg has also gotten writers Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor III to get on board this non movie movie idea as well. Hopefully they will escape back to greener pastures that produced Election and Citizen Ruth.
So what is Jurassic Park III? Luckily, I spent the day Monday at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California and not dying from a brain aneurysm on Goliath I am here to tell you that without a doubt what this 95 minute series of images most resembles is a trip to the theme park of your choice. All you are supposed to remember are the thrills, not shuffling along for 20 minutes to get there. Just like in the movie, I saw and met other people (we can call them characters if it helps) as we filed up to the attraction. In the case of Monday, there was the nice trio from Orlando who I rode Riddler's Revenge with just like there's this trio headed by William H. Macy and Tea Leoni in Park who we get to know just as well.
In fact, Leoni is that hyper affected woman you get stuck next to who screams shrilly from start to finish. Only in her case it was acting in way so unbelievably life threatening to the other characters that their inaction had me wanting to belt this woman so badly Ike Turner would blush. If a films success should be judged by the emotional reaction it elicits, then congrats, Steven, I have never wanted to hit a woman so bad in all my life. Sure NOW really appreciates that.
So what are the big attractions? Well, we have the Overhead View Ride, the Crash The Plane Ride and about half a dozen Run Like Hell Rides. There are parts that were lots of fun and parts that just weren't worth the wait in line. My least favorite was seeing how much Taylor Nichols has aged since first breaking out in Metropolitan and Barcelona, the Good Lord, Have I Aged ride. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time Monday helping Time Warner AOL pad their bottom line by going on Viper and Batman, so too parts of Jurassic III - The Ride, Not The Movie. There were some great visuals, nifty new creatures and a few sequences that were very effective. Just don't call it a movie because then we have to get into things like story and character, something you just don't find in theme parks unless you provide them through your own imagination. Which, it seems, all the otherwise talented people behind JP3 expect you to do with their ride as well.