2/10
Highly disappointing
17 August 2003
I really, really wanted to like "The Matrix Reloaded," and had rather fond thoughts of it on my way out of the theater. Then it hit me, halfway home. I had not actually seen a movie. I'd seen a Mighty Mouse cartoon.

The flight scenes in "Reloaded." Were they really necessary? What does it mean that Neo can fly? That he's God? That he's Superman? That he is, in fact, Mighty Mouse? Why is there a Superman reference early in the film? Are the creators of the movie aware that they are ripping off a milestone in American popular culture?

I think Neo can fly because A) it presents the opportunity for more gee-golly special effects scenes and B) it allows for giant plot conveniences. Nothing more. Neo never flies when it might actually do him some good, say, to escape 250,000 or so replicas of Agent Smith.

Those replicas. Why the heck are they necessary? Why does Agent Smith keep making copies of himself? He still can't whip Neo! He still does the same ole chop-socky thing! And where do they all go, once Neo has "done his Superman thing"? Hang out at the mall? Shop for new sunglasses? Sip lattes? What?

The dude at the end, in the room w/ all the TV screens. I'm sorry, but he literally stopped the movie to make a speech that had me squirming with intense boredom. Frankly, I didn't know what the guy was talking about or why it mattered. Why didn't Neo just chop-socky him? Or fly away sooner, the better to escape the boredom?

I know. This is all just a set up for yet another sequel, which is refreshing, in this Year of the Sequel. But you know what? "Matrix Reloaded" was so bad, so incomprehensible, such a boring, story-free zone, that I don't care anything at all about "Revolutions." Chris Reeve could drop in for a cameo, and I wouldn't care.

If it weren't for "The Return of the King," my mantra would be "Death to CGI." THAT is how much I hated "Matrix Reloaded."
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