Final Ascent (2000 TV Movie)
Lightning Strikes Twice
26 November 2000
I thought the De Niro/Pacino faceoff in Heat was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see two of our premier actors engage in a mano-a-mano display of their craft--until now. Watching Muldoon and Sabato exchange lines in their sinisterly similar monotone, one recalls perhaps Olivier and Barrymore treading the boards at the Old Vic. A critic (I believe it was Pauline Kael) once said of Muldoon: "He has all the emotional range of a piece of oak furniture." And yet here Sabato matches him in the lumber department, splinter for splinter.

Final Ascent is a remake of Cliffhanger, except without any of the good parts. And if it seems merely mediocre, wait until the last act when it enters the realm of the truly terrible. Watch as our heroine parachutes hundreds of feet off of a mountain, and then climbs approximately twelve feet back up the same mountain to save the character that had been standing right next to her. Watch her climb 10,000 feet in the snow with no gloves and never once give any indication that it's cold. And watch as another character is buried underneath an avalanche, and yet emerges without a trace of snow on him.

The other big reason to watch this movie is Heidi Noelle Lenhart. She runs around a lot and seems very serious about something (maybe a relationship) but I wasn't sure what she was carrying on about because she's just so cute. Her little nose gets so red and runny that you just want to tell her, "Stop chasing the bad people, go back to the lodge, wrap yourself up in a blanket and have a nice warm brandy or maybe some Rumple Minz. And for gosh sakes put some gloves on."

Final Ascent is above all a film for fans of great acting. And just as De Niro one-upped his rival in the hearts of most moviegoers, here it is Muldoon who emerges victorious: he is perhaps the least expressive actor of his generation. Sabato should keep Muldoon around as a sidekick (maybe they could remake an old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby "Road" movie?), because he comes off like Michael Caine by comparison. Muldoon sums it up best when he comes down with altitude sickness and pukes: "What's the matter, you've never thrown up before?" Yes we have Pat. Yes we have.
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