Blue Crush (2002)
3/10
AWFUL!!!!!!! Where are the Razzie People when you need them?
11 April 2003
Let me just say I pity anyone who had to pay to see this. I saw it at a friend's party, and I feel robbed of time. The film is SUCH a mess. Where do I begin?

Okay, the editing is done appallingly. I barely even know what film editing is, and I can tell it's terrible. And then there's the script, or lack thereof. This is an actual excerpt of dialogue: Talking about their teacher: "I bet you thought he was hot." "Shut up, Lena!" Okay, I say more original things than that in real life. And there's actually a scene where the spoiled blonde bitch overhears people talking about her in the bathroom. Oh, my God, I've never seen a scene like that before! Note my use of sarcasm. And the plot...what plot? It's as if they just grabbed a bunch of drama camp students off the street, put bikinis on them, and just randomly started filming. Okay, I can understand that the whole point was to have a bunch of girls in bikinis, but if you're gonna do that, at least get girls that fill out their bikinis nicely, not that I'd know or anything. And I can also understand meeting a guy and having a fling with him, but sleeping with him? Not slapping the skittles out of him when he UNTIES YOUR DAMN BIKINI strap like the day after you met him? Realizing it's true love at the end? Puh-lease.

Why, do you ask, am I giving it a 3/10 instead of a zero? Well, the fat guy was pretty funny, the scenery wasn't bad, and they tried. But really, save yourself the nausea and avoid this "film" like a shallow pit of hungry alligators.
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