5/10
From tears of boredom to tears of laughter
8 March 2003
One would be hard pressed to find a medium that has not glorified the institution of war. It has credited with turning boys into men, spurring economic and social revolutions, and delivering the oppressed from enslavement. Amazingly, the downsides –destruction, famine and of course death – often get overlooked. It wasn't until Oliver Stone's `Platoon' hit the big screen that laymen got a glimpse into the real ugliness of war. I remember an interview with a Vietnam Vet who after seeing a preview screening of "Platoon" stated (I'm paraphrasing) `If I had seen this instead of `The Green Berets' I never would have gone to Vietnam in search of heroism.' Hopefully this generation will not have to learn this lesson first hand.

When a violent coup pushes Nigeria to the brink of civil war, Lieutenant AK Water (Willis) and his crew of navy SEALS are sent in to extract Lena Hendricks (Belluci), an American doctor doing missionary work in the country. Dr. Hendricks is reluctant to leave her charges, and demands that they also be evacuated, leading to a cross country race to escape the vicious hordes of the rebel army.

The timing of this film's release is quite fitting given the prevailing global climate, but don't worry I'm not about to launch into a polemic about international events, this is a movie review after all. Suffice it to say I'm sure the distributor is counting on this to stimulate some box office. That's about the only thing that will save this film.

The first thing that struck me was that although `Tears of the Sun' is being billed as an action film, it plods along at a snails pace for the first hour and fifteen minutes. The movie also embodies everything that can go wrong with a war film: it is jingoistic, filled with scowling stock villains, is nonsensically simplistic reducing everything to black and white and limps along with ridiculous dialogue eg. After Willis' character is slashed with a machete and blood is literally flowing down his hand he dismisses attempts to help him saying `Don't worry I'm okay.' Let's not forget the classic disposable armies – we're expected to accept that in spite of vastly superior numbers and firepower, the enemy soldiers are notoriously poor shots losing at least a hundred soldiers for every good guy that bites the dust. There's also the genocide - or should I say "ethnic cleansing" to help offend your moral senses.

Even if I could get past all these failings, I can't forgive the crux of the story, that Waters' epiphany that leads him – a dedicated and stoic soldier's soldier -to countermand a direct order. Normally this would earn one a court martial and an all expenses paid trip to Leavenworth to turn big rocks into little rocks. In this case however, even though he essentially sparks a war and unnecessarily risks the lives of his men, he still gets the girl, the glory and hero's homecoming. It boggles the mind.

I was going to address the performances, but what is there left to say? I've always enjoyed Bruce Willis whether he was being self-mocking in `Die Hard' or serious in `The Sixth Sense'. Unfortunately he is forced to utter some of the most ridiculous dialogue I've heard in a long time and his attempts to sound dramatic come off as cartoonish. His co-stars fare no better.

I can't leave without mentioning two screw-ups that I couldn't help dwell on: first how is it that the SEAL's facial camouflage magically disappears (the only time I tried it it took forever to wash off); second despite rain, sweat, and tramping through jungle foliage and muck Belucci's character's lipstick is always perfectly applied.

Hooah!
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