1/10
Altogether the most horrible and at the same time hilarious movie ever made
15 February 2004
Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings is the most fantastic movie I've ever seen, for a number of reasons. Most importantly, the cast, crew, director, make-up "artists", cinematographers all take the movie in complete seriousness. This is remarkable considering the abysmal quality of the line delivery, horrible costumes, EXCEEDINGLY AWFUL script, and absolute lack of skill and knowledge of the craft of film on the part of everyone involved. All these factors combined, however, makes this film a masterpiece of late-night heckling material. My friends and I bought this for $5.50 at the Wal-Mart Bargain Bin, and the investment more than paid off in side-splitting laughs of disbelief.

Max Magician is a middle-class suburban kid with no friends, but a penchant for the magical arts. He has a creepy pedophile neighbor, Mr. Tim, who at one time was a great wizard (apparently) and gives young Max guidance to "achieve his destiny." He gives Max a poorly-constructed "magic book" which allows him entry into the fantastical world of Bluebell Forest. Max is the "savior" of the village that is being tyrannized by Lord Dadga (the worst actor in the history of cinema). He meets all sorts of ridiculous characters, who deliver absurd dialogue with no knowledge of delivery. At the end he saves the village by using his magic book to summon knights out of the ground.

It's necessary to reiterate that there is not a single saving grace in this film except for the (highly unintentional) comedic implications. Every solitary aspect is done with the least skill and least amount of cinematic expertise possible. The script skips from scene to scene, introduces new "plot elements" which had never been alluded to and are now apparently crucial to the "story". The dialogue is cliched and nonsensical. The characterization is ungodly predictable where not non-existent. The characters take long, painful pauses between lines. The entire soundtrack was redubbed and the dialogue very seldom matches up with the mouths moving. The props are pathetic (the "propmaster" on the "behind the scenes" feature shows a battle hammer which was made from a foam swimming toy.) Occasionally we see extras walking around in the background. The foley work is perhaps the funniest part of the movie, as sometimes the background sound of birds will cut out altogether, voices will cut out in the middle of lines, and giant "swooshes" are used for characters getting out of chairs -- the same sound over and over again.

Which brings us to the acting. There is not a single actor with previous experience (except Tom Tit Tot, who is still one of the worst) and it shows more than you would think possible. Of course they get no help from the script, but this is the single worst ensemble of amateur actors ever put together. I can honestly say that with very little doubt. For this reason alone it's probably worth investing in to appreciate just how bad something can be. Only buy Max Magician, even for $5, if you want to truly understand the meaning of "awful" and wish to have many a laugh at the film's expense. If you buy this to entertain your children you may taint their appreciation of art and cinema from a young age. No young person deserves that.
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