Good god, didn't Stephen J Cannell SAVE any of his money? This is a guy with dozens upon dozens of hit TV shows, and he's producing THIS crapfest? Nobody can act, the plot is lame, the FX are pretty bad (the world's PHONIEST bird attack), about the only thing this turkey has is several fairly attractive girls in skimpy outfits, and not enough of that to make me feel like the hour and half was well spent. Where do we begin? The "football" player, who's all of 5'9", 135 pounds (waterboy, maybe?) who's "gotta get his scholarship", the token black couple with some horribly bad "urban" slang, the "rich-bitch", the Goth chick, oh yeah, every stereotypical character is here, the principal of the school wears bow ties (lives in a mansion, but drives an AMC Pacer?), the coach is a macho type, and the incredibly hot school counselor who is referred to as "Dr.", but looks to be 24 or so....yeah, lotsa shrinks that young. To make matters worse, Corbin Bernsen shows up, as does Robert Conrad (Cannell must still have the negatives) and the cop is played by Antonio Sabato Jr, with a hairdo that could withstand Hurrican Ivan and looks dorky beyond belief. HIs character is also incredibly stupid. Good god, people, if you're an actor who has made a few good films or been in a hit show, please, save your money, find some solid investments, just put it into a savings account if you have to, but please don't let your career fall to this level. Do infomercials if you have to, but please, please, don't do crap like this if you're desperate for money. You'll feel better working at Burger King than making this kind of garbage. This is the kind of flick Ed Wood would pass on making it's so bad.
Review of Dead Above Ground
